Siheyuan: Sizhu starts blindly and takes a new path

Seeing Yu Li glaring at him, Sha Zhu immediately explained, "I mean, he's doing pretty well right now."

"What's good about it? Is it okay that I'm in a work-study school?" Yu Li said unhappily.

"Don't worry. What I mean is that his current behavior is a standard negative lesson for us to teach our children. We should let Liuyi and future children avoid all the mistakes he has made, and then they will definitely not go to work-study schools like him."

"There is no way my child would go to a work-study school. First, we don't have any elders who spoil their children, and second, we don't have any messed-up parents. Liuyi would never become like that."

"Then how do you think we should educate our children? Should we beat them when they make mistakes, regardless of the occasion or location, or should we hold back and deal with it later?"

"I think he should be criticized and educated on the spot, otherwise he will not remember it. I remember when I was a child, I once stole something from someone else. My father not only slapped me in the face in front of many people, but also scolded me severely and asked me to apologize to the person whose things were stolen. After that, I never made such a mistake again." Yu Li proudly talked about her experience of correcting her mistakes.

"Have you never made any mistakes since then, or is that the only one?"

Yu Li thought about it seriously and said, "Since then, I seem to have made very few mistakes, and even if I did, they were unintentional. You see, this profound lesson is quite useful."

"Then later on, when you were doing things, did you often worry about making mistakes and getting scolded, and were always lacking in confidence?" Sha Zhu asked Yu Li with a smile.

"Yes, a little bit," Yu Li nodded, and asked puzzledly, "But does it matter?"

"Do you know why I'm called Sha Zhu?" Seeing Yu Li shaking her head, Sha Zhu continued, "Then I'll tell you today. Before the liberation of Beijing in 48, when the People's Liberation Army reached the capital, the Nationalist Army was surrounded in the capital. There were many wounded soldiers. The military discipline of the Nationalist Army was not very good, and the wounded soldiers were even worse. I was twelve or thirteen years old at that time. My father steamed a basket of buns for me and asked me to sell them in the front street. Before I sold a few buns, I met a dozen Kuomintang soldiers. The deserters came to rob me, and I ran with a basket of buns in my arms. Two wounded soldiers with guns followed me. Fortunately, we were in the city, and I was familiar with the alleys, so I just went through the alleys and turned left and right to get rid of those two bastards. Later, when I was carrying the buns on my way home, I met a man in a long gown. I still remember that man. He was tall, with a square face and looked very wealthy. He asked me what I was carrying. I said it was buns. He asked if I was selling them. When I heard someone wanted to buy buns, I nodded happily. He bought all my buns and gave me a handful of bills. I went home happily and gave the money to my dad, waiting for him to praise me. But when my dad saw that the money was all fake, he called me "Silly Zhu". From then on, he and everyone in the hospital called me "Silly Zhu".

Yu Li still looked at Sha Zhu in confusion and said, "What does this have to do with what I just said?"

"Oh, yes, I said less. My father called me 'Silly Zhu' in front of many people in the yard. The eldest master, Mrs. Jia, and many neighbors heard that I was chased by the fleeing soldiers. They saw me coming back and asked about my concern. They all heard my father's laughter and scolding at me. That's why other people also called me 'Silly Zhu'."

"I think what those neighbors did was inappropriate. Your father called you 'Silly Zhu' as a joke, but that was a matter between you two. How could they follow suit and call you 'Silly Zhu'? The first uncle did a pretty good job in this regard. He seemed to have always called you 'Pillar' and never 'Silly Zhu'. Even the third uncle, who always prides himself on being a cultured person, is not as good as the first uncle in this regard."

"The third uncle is very arrogant and doesn't take anyone seriously. Sooner or later, he will suffer. Let's not talk about this. Think about whether your lack of confidence is caused by your father scolding you in person." Yu Li nodded slightly. Seeing that Yu Li was still a little unconvinced, Sha Zhu continued, "Think about your sister Haitang. Was she scolded by your father in front of outsiders when she was a child?"

Yu Li looked at Sha Zhu and fell into reminiscence. After a while, she said, "I don't remember seeing him. Haitang never told me that my parents scolded her. She was spoiled by my parents and me since she was a child. My parents always criticized me when she made mistakes."

"Then think about what kind of personality Haitang has now?"

"Outgoing, straightforward, confident, well, a little arrogant, and doesn't take anyone seriously."

"Yes, she has never been hit and is very confident. But you and I were both scolded by our respective fathers in front of others and lost our face, which later caused some bad influences. You must not say that children don't need face. There is also the old saying that 'teach your son in front of others and teach your wife behind their backs'. You have also been hurt. When your father scolded you, were you not sad and upset, and didn't you feel ashamed? Was there a period of time afterwards when you didn't want to see people, especially those who saw you being scolded?"

"Well, after that I didn't dare pass by that place for a while. Whenever I had to go there I always felt like people on the side of the road were talking about me, and I would run over there involuntarily."

"Like me, when my dad first started calling me Shazhu, I was also very unhappy, especially when people in the yard called me that too. I didn't like to go out during that period, and I had a lot of fights with people because of being called Shazhu. But there were a lot of people calling me that, and I couldn't beat them all, especially some elderly people who were disrespectful. I couldn't beat them just because of a name. But later I found that I could use this name to make use of it. When I had conflicts with people, I could use "silly" to justify it. I could also use "silly" to shirk things when I didn't want to do. Although it has its benefits, it's the result of my helplessness after being hurt countless times. It's just like you are now cautious and afraid to take the lead."

"Why am I being so cautious?"

"When you first arrived at the street office to manage sanitation, you were afraid of making mistakes and checked every place several times before you gave up. You made yourself look dirty every day. I felt sorry for you at the time, but I couldn't persuade you."

"Then how do you know to say this now?"

"I also came up with this idea after Liu Yi was born, comparing my own growth and that of other children in the courtyard. Look at Xiao Fengzhi. Ever since she stood up to prove that Auntie San didn't knock down Qin Jingru and was praised by everyone, the child used to speak in a low voice, but now speaks and acts with confidence. When playing with other children, she always makes suggestions and makes decisions. Look at the brothers Liu Guangtian and Liu Guangfu. Compared with their brother Liu Guangqi, Liu Guangqi is a good student and knows how to advance and retreat. Not long after he started working at the unit, he was able to invite the office director to come when he got married, which shows that he dares to think, dares to do, and knows how to do it. Look at Guangtian and Guangfu. They have the same parents, but Guangtian only managed to graduate from junior high school, and Guangfu didn't run away. The timid Liu Haizhong beat them so hard that they didn't dare to run away. Let's not talk about Guangfu being fourteen or fifteen, Guangtian is already seventeen or eighteen, and he can't even make a living. With the same parents, one grew up with praise, and the other grew up with beatings. Isn't the contrast obvious?"

"So what you mean is that we can only praise Liu Yi in the future and not hit him?"