Konoha's Five Attributes Ninja

Chapter 242 Killing the Heroine

In a hidden underground space, a white creature is squatting on the ground with full concentration, holding a few pieces of toilet paper in its hands. It seems to be taking a defecation, but in fact it is thinking about a contradictory philosophical problem.

"Humans need to poop. Madara-sama once mentioned that I'm annoying, so I'm equal to a human. But why can't I poop? Am I not a human? Then what am I?"

The white creature was sweating profusely in anxiety. He used all his strength but had no intention of pooping at all. He successfully made Uchiha Madara laugh: "Idiot, you are completely different from humans. We humans have complete digestive and excretory systems, so we poop. And you are a tool I created. You don't need to eat, drink, sleep or rest. How can you poop?"

"Ah? Master Madara, can you create a digestive system and excretion system for me? I want to experience the feeling of constipation."

Uchiha Madara was very surprised. Logically speaking, white creatures should not desire the feelings of normal creatures, so he leaned on the stone chair and asked: "Why do you want to experience these?"

The white creature stammered, "A few days ago, I saw you running to the toilet all the time, and I mistakenly thought you had a stomachache, so I secretly observed you and found that you were constipated. You looked hideous and sweaty at first, but you looked relieved after you defecated, so I wanted to experience it for myself."

Uchiha Madara: "....."

When people get older, they have all kinds of problems, such as inconvenient legs and feet, nostalgic fantasies, and poor digestion... Uchiha Madara was very powerful when he was young, so powerful that he could suppress a whole village, but he was still a human being, and he would still suffer from constipation when he got old. Sometimes, Uchiha Madara really wanted to return to his youth, when he could eat everything and sleep until he woke up naturally, and he had endless energy every day, unlike now when he is sleepy, lingering, and constipated.

Uchiha Madara is a decent man who has never played tricks in his life. He has the word "tsundere" engraved in his bones. Naturally, he would not allow his private matters to be openly talked about. He succeeded in getting angry: "Asshole, who told you to spy on me?"

"Ah, are you angry? Tell me what it feels like to be angry. I want to experience it too." The white creature stood up from the ground, and its loud shouting echoed in the dark underground space.

“…”

Uchiha Madara held his forehead helplessly. He really wanted to slap the jumping White Zetsu to death, but then he thought that the other party was the only creature who could chat with him, so he endured it and wisely changed the subject: "I asked you to search for information about Konoha Village, how are you doing?"

"I searched."

"and then?"

"There's nothing else. The protective barrier of Konoha Village is updated every once in a while. Plus, there are ninjas with Byakugan Sharingan guarding the entrance. I have no chance of sneaking in." Bai Zetsu said righteously.

"You bastard, don't you have any other options?" Uchiha Madara complained helplessly.

"You are angry, I am just teasing you." Bai Zetsu spread his hands and said, "Every move of Konoha Village cannot be hidden from my eyes. Even the Hokage Bai Yunyeshan goes to the toilet every day. I know it clearly."

"By the way, Madara-sama, the Hokage, Hakumo Hayama, is not constipated. He is better than you in this respect."

"Stop talking about shit!"

"Okay Madara-sama."

"From what I know, Konoha Village is implementing some policy to help farmers recently, and it seems to be very popular."

Uchiha Madara became interested, and said with his right hand on his cheek: "Tell me more about the policy to help farmers."

"The policy of supporting agriculture is just to help the farmers in the New Rain Country and increase food production."

"Where is the new Rain Country? What is its relationship with the Rain Country?" asked Uchiha Madara.

Bai Zetsu imitated him and put his right hand on his cheek and said, "The New Rain Country is a part of the Rain Country, but it is much smaller, probably one third."

Uchiha Madara nodded thoughtfully and asked, "How can we help farmers specifically?"

"Distribute food seeds, and send resident ninjas to help the village. I don't know about the rest for now."

"Haha, another naive kid. A mere rubble is not even a fraction of what I can do." Uchiha Madara gave the answer after some brief thought.

"The Hokage of Konoha Village is really getting worse with each generation. I recall how high-spirited and ambitious Hashirama Senju and I were back then..."

"Yes, yes, yes." White Zetsu waved his hands with an annoyed look, which made Uchiha Madara gnashing with hatred: "You have told this story 398 times, can you tell it another way? I am sick of it a long time ago."

Uchiha Madara: "..."

"Surveying the troubled times, establishing the one-country-one-village system, and ending the Valley War, I can really recite them with my eyes closed."

Uchiha Madara: "....."

"You probably don't know yet, but the Daimyo of the New Rain Country was expelled by Yeshan a long time ago, and the one-country-one-village system that you are so proud of no longer exists." Bai Zetsu said casually.

"What?" Uchiha Madara was shocked and raised his voice to ask, "Why didn't you tell me such important news earlier?"

"You didn't ask." Bai Zetsu blinked innocently.

"I..."

"Forget it, don't be angry. There's no need to get angry over a jerk." Uchiha Madara murmured, "Just treat him as a fart. It's no big deal."

"Tell me everything about the New Rain Country in detail. Don't leave out any information."

"Okay, Lord Madara, the new Rain Country is part of the original Rain Country, and now it belongs to the jurisdiction of Konohagakure. In order to consolidate its rule, the Hokage, Baiyun Yeshan, proposed a policy to help farmers in order to win over the hearts of the people." White Zetsu talked a lot of nonsense, and Uchiha Madara's blood pressure soared after hearing it.

"Tell the important point!"

"The point is that there is no point." Bai Zetsu followed suit.

Uchiha Madara sighed weakly and said slowly: "Let's stop here. I'm afraid you'll make me angry to death."

"How's that little devil lying over there?"

"Are you talking about Uchiha Obito? He's fine. I expect him to wake up in the next two days."

Finally hearing the good news, Uchiha Madara breathed a sigh of relief: "Which name has he mentioned the most during this period?"

Bai Zetsu replied: "Yuan Yelin, it should be a girl's name. Tsk tsk tsk, Master Madara, Uchiha Obito has fallen in love for the first time!"

"A troubled boy falls in love with a beautiful girl, and then for some reason they are separated and never see each other again. This is what is sung in operas."

Uchiha Madara's eyes flickered, and he was thinking about how to brainwash Uchiha Obito so that he could use him for his own purposes. When he heard what White Zetsu said, his eyes suddenly lit up and he had an idea.

"Where is that Yuan Yelin now?"

"In Konoha Village, I stay by Hatake Kakashi's side every day." Bai Zetsu said angrily, "Damn it! There is such an exciting love triangle in the world. It makes me want to shit."

Uchiha Madara automatically ignored White Zetsu's nonsense and asked again: "Do you know when they will leave the village?"

"I don't know. Hokage Bai Yunyeshan cherishes them very much. He cares about them every day and almost worships them."

White Zetsu was indignant and spoke up for his future friend: "Madara-sama, you should find a way to kill Hatake Kakashi. I hate people who use despicable means to interfere in other people's love affairs."

Uchiha Madara said casually: "Shut up, do you know who Hatake Kakashi is? If we kill him, Bai Kumo Yeshan will definitely turn the entire ninja world upside down, and then our plan will be exposed."

"There's no pressure in killing Yuan Yelin. She's just a filler anyway, and no one will care if she dies."

"Ah?" Bai Zetsu was shocked. After a moment, he said, "You really deserve to be unable to poop."

"What are you talking about?" Uchiha Madara was angry again. He couldn't bear to hear the word "shit" now.

Bai Jue straightened his back and said confidently, "You are so inhumane that you actually want to kill the core figure in the love triangle. If she dies, where can I go to watch the show?"

"You know shit!" Uchiha Madara cursed and said, "Doesn't Uchiha Obito care about Harano Rin? We kill her and then put the blame on Hatake Kakashi and the Konohagakure. This guy is just obsessed with love and will definitely turn against us and start crazy revenge. Isn't this a much better scenario than a sour love story?"

There is a secret that Uchiha Madara didn't tell. People who possess the Sharingan hate to witness the most important person die in front of them. Once they really see it, they are very likely to awaken the supreme Mangekyō Sharingan. This is how he gained power in the first place.

Bai Jue imagined it for a moment, then instantly jumped up and somersaulted in excitement: "Sir, you are really cunning... No, it's really shrewd... No, it's really far-sighted. I am willing to admit that you are the best at writing scripts!"

"Let's do it. I love this script so much. I'm so excited that I'm ready to shit."

"Don't mention shit!"

Uchiha Madara was anxious, and felt the deep malice of the world. He thought about how high-spirited he was when he dominated the world for decades, but now he couldn't poop... The contrast was so great, he wanted to die...

"I'll take my time with this. I need to plan it carefully."

"You must find a way to contact Terumi Shikou and tell her (him) that she (he) has come alive. The chess pieces you have deployed before should also contribute a little, otherwise they will easily bite their master over time."

Bai Zetsu was confused and asked, "Who are you talking about, Madara-sama? Who is Terumi Shikou?"

Uchiha Madara sneered and reminded: "People who have been to the base before."

Bai Zetsu scratched his head, showing a confused look in an anthropomorphic way: "Please be more specific, I forgot."

"Idiot, it's Danzo Shimura!" Uchiha Madara growled, his chest heaving with anger, and he almost died without catching his breath.

"Oh oh oh," Bai Zetsu suddenly realized, and said with a complaining tone: "Why don't you just say Shimura Danzo? I'm really not familiar with Terumi Shiko."

"Bagaya Deer!"

"You touched me before, and now you've forgotten?"

Bai Jue smiled embarrassedly and said, "I really forgot. I'm not lying to you."

"Go tell him (her) to have Terumi Shiko find a way to send a team of Anbu ninjas to the Land of Fire to cause sabotage. Then we can have a script kill."

At this point, Uchiha Madara suddenly asked, "How is Terumi Shikou, also known as Shimura Danzo, doing? Don't tell me he's still an ordinary jonin."

"How could that be possible?" White Zetsu became excited: "Since Shimura Danzo became a woman, he has been rising rapidly. He is simply a genius among geniuses. Now he has become the head of the Anbu thanks to his family's influence. He has countless lackeys under him and is in a very glorious position."

"It's really good," Uchiha Madara praised him for a rare moment, "But why is he the head of the Anbu again? Is that guy really going to stay in the dark his whole life?"

"I don't know, but Shimura Danzo's cousin, Mei Terumi, has been very impressive in recent years. I heard that she has become the best candidate for the next Mizukage."

"No matter what, let Shimura Danzo find a way to send out the Anbu ninjas to infiltrate the Land of Fire to carry out the mission. When the time comes, I will use illusion to control them and wait for an opportunity to kill Harano Rin and make Uchiha Obito suffer a terrible loss of heart!"

"This is good, this is good, hahaha." White Zetsu jumped up and down in praise, as if he had seen Uchiha Obito completely go berserk and turn evil.

Uchiha Madara smiled triumphantly. White Zetsu spied on the process of Uchiha Obito's eyes opening, which shocked him greatly. He opened his eyes with two magatama Sharingan, which was unique in the thousands of years of history of the Uchiha clan. A few years ago, he sent White Zetsu to sneak into the Uchiha clan's gift room to look through the blood secret book, and knew that Uchiha Obito had a high probability of awakening the space-type Mangekyō Sharingan. He had been eyeing him for a long time, and thought that he would gain nothing. However, he could not resist the help of the god of the Hidden Rock Village, and a new hope came.

Thinking that he had not much time left, and the Moon Eye Project needed a strong executor, Uchiha Obito was fully capable of doing it. He was much more extreme than Nagato, and was simply a natural born talent.

Affectionate people are not scary, what is scary is when affectionate people turn into ruthless people. Such people wish the whole world would be destroyed. Uchiha Madara understands this well because he is such a person.

"You have been pretending to be the deputy director of the mission department of Konoha Village. Just keep hiding. After Shimura Danzo sends out the Anbu ninjas, you can order Hatake Kakashi and Harano Rin to leave the village in the name of a mission. I think it will be a piece of cake for you."

Bai Jue smiled and said, "Don't worry, no one can see through my disguise. When the time comes, I will find a way to make them leave the village and fall into my trap."

"Well, it's finally reliable. I'm relieved." Uchiha Madara nodded with satisfaction and slowly stood up from the stone chair. Several thick white tubes were connected behind him, continuously supplying him with nutrients.

"I've had enough of this dark and gloomy life. It's finally coming to an end." A look of pain appeared on Uchiha Madara's face.

For a strong man, living in hiding is a sad thing, but Uchiha Madara has no choice. The awakening of the Samsara Eye has exhausted his vitality. If it weren't for the white tube that saved his life, he might have died long ago.

"Tell Shimura Danzo to hurry up. I feel like I'm running out of time. In less than a month, I'll have to go to the Pure Land to look for Senju Hashirama. I hope it won't be too deserted there."

"As you wish, Lord Madara!" White Zetsu replied enthusiastically. He has always been very active in watching plays, especially human tragedies.

Don’t forget the lofty ambitions of youth, who once promised to be the best in the world. The passionate Uchiha Madara has long been dead, and the one who is alive now is just a devil.