Rebirth: My Mother is a Virgin Mary

I hate the girls who beat me, and I hate that boy even more. Why should I have to bear all the consequences just because he is wishful thinking? Who cares about his liking!

I fought back like crazy, and even bit one of the girls on the arm. They were frightened by me. I stood up and stared at them, saying word by word: "I will remember the faces of each of you. If I die, I will become a demon and haunt you every day. If I don't die, I will also avenge you. It doesn't matter if we die together!" They took a few steps back in fear. I don't know where I got so angry at that time. It might be the anger of being implicated, the depression caused by long-term repression, or both. "A bunch of useless and brainless things, who can't tell right from wrong. I haven't even talked to him. What's the point of bullying me? The people you care about are shit to me!" I took off my coat and wrapped it around my hand, and swung it at them fiercely. One girl couldn't dodge in time and was hit hard on the face. "You better pray that I'm okay, otherwise... I'll blackmail you to death!" I think I must have looked like a demon at that time, otherwise how could two girls be scared and cry...

I was so distracted that I didn't know how to walk home. I was almost an hour late, so I was bound to be beaten. I thought to myself, I might as well just beat me to death. Ms. Lin was worried at first, but when she saw me, her face changed instantly. Cheng Xingmin slapped me in the face, and I was stunned to the ground. Before I could recover from the pain in my body, I was beaten again.

I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was messy, there were several bloodstains on my face, my coat was dirty, and the collar of my T-shirt was torn open, revealing half of my shoulder. Oh, if I look like this, not only Cheng Xingmin, but even Ms. Lin would think too much...

I just stood up, and Cheng Xingmin kicked me down again. I didn't have the strength to stand up again, so I just curled up on the ground. Ms. Lin asked me what happened. I asked her, "I told you, do you believe me?" Ms. Lin pursed her lips and didn't say anything. Cheng Xingmin took out his cell phone and made a call. I knew who he called. Cheng Xinlin and I were in the same school and grade, so he knew my situation to some extent. Cheng Xingmin believed his nephew but not his daughter...

What good things can Cheng Xinlin say? He didn’t slander me with exaggerated words. Sure enough, before Cheng Xingmin hung up the phone, he whipped my arm with his belt, leaving a red mark, and cursed while whipping: "You are so capable! How dare you fall in love prematurely! I will beat you to death today!" Ms. Lin watched quietly from the side, without any intention of stopping, and her eyes were full of disappointment...

She was also disappointed. This family had never given me any protection. I had been disappointed for a long time! I propped myself up and said, "From the moment I came home, you as parents didn't care why I came back so late, didn't care why I was like this, didn't ask me what happened, and just beat me. Your nephew's words were the emperor's decree. You believed whatever he said... Are there any parents like you? You hate me so much, why did you give birth to me..." My tone was calm, but my face was full of tears. "Just beat me to death. You have never believed in me since I was a child. I have had enough of life..."

"Pa", another crisp slap hit my face, this time it was Ms. Lin who slapped me. She looked at me incredulously: "What qualifications do you have to die? What has this family done to you?"

What are you sorry for? Haha… I suddenly got excited, and my emotions finally exploded at this moment. I pointed at Cheng Xingmin's nose and said, "Besides beating me, what else can you do? You ignored me and even doubted my identity. You hate me, but I hate you even more! You want me dead, and I wish I could cut you into pieces! You don't want a daughter like me, and I don't want to have a father like you!" Cheng Xingmin never thought that I would say such words. He stood there motionless, "I didn't fall in love prematurely! I have never done the dirty things you think! With a father like you, I won't have the slightest thought of falling in love! You believe everything Cheng Xinlin says, so do you believe him or the teacher? Call my class teacher now, I won't stand this slander! Beat him!" I yelled at him, "You were also young, I don't believe you didn't have feelings for girls when you were in high school! Even your good nephew wrote love letters to others, why am I shameless for receiving a love letter for no reason! Receiving love letters is considered falling in love, you are a feudal remnant!"

"I didn't even know who that person was, but I was accused of premature love. I felt so wronged! The teacher should have asked about the cause and effect and investigated first, but you, as a father, just started without asking any questions. Even a dictator is not as good as you! I was preparing to go home, but a few girls dragged me into the bathroom and beat me up indiscriminately, just because the boy they liked wrote me a love letter. I got beaten for no reason. What the hell did I do to offend anyone? I felt so wronged, but I thought I still had you guys. I thought no matter what, you could ask me and I could talk about it. But I still overestimated you. No so-called concern can hit you harder than them! You would rather call your nephew, but we have never spoken to each other in school. He doesn’t even admit that I am his sister. What he knows is just rumors from others. I know you don’t believe me. You have never believed anything I said since I was a child, but I still want to believe that you will care about me... Do you believe the teacher? Do you believe the surveillance? Do you believe the police? I am so stupid, I shouldn’t go home first, I should call the police directly! "I am really accusing you with my life...

"You ask me why I want to die," I turned to Lin Qingmei, she had already burst into tears, "I was bullied at school, and when I got home my parents still framed me. My body hurts so much, and my heart hurts even more. I'm only 15 years old, why shouldn't I want to die... You are disappointed in me, and I am disappointed in you. You didn't ask for my opinion when you gave birth to me, and you didn't raise me well. You ask what this family has done to me. If you had any guilt you wouldn't ask that!" I tried hard to control the tone of my voice, but I couldn't control my tears. I cried and looked so embarrassed.

Cheng Xingmin put down the belt in his hand, lit a cigarette, held it in his hand, let the smoke linger, frowned and remained silent.

After a long time, Ms. Lin raised her head. She stopped crying, as if she understood how wronged I was. She tried to pull my hand in a flattering way, but I avoided her. She asked me cautiously if I was hungry and if I wanted to cook something to eat. I turned my head away and didn't look at her to show my refusal.

I am prone to allergies and scars. After being whipped by a belt, the scars were exposed. My arms were red and swollen. I dared not touch them with my hands. It was excruciatingly painful. My back was also very painful. It seemed that I could not sleep lying down. It would take a few days to recover. Ms. Lin also noticed the abnormality of my arms and wanted to touch them, but I dodged her. She never knew about my condition. My uncle told her several times to pay attention to it, but she always turned a deaf ear to it. I could only be careful myself, but no matter how careful I was, how could I avoid it?

I looked up at the clock on the wall. It was past one in the morning. I was not sure if I could sleep. I walked to the water dispenser to get some water. Ms. Lin spoke at this time: "I'm sorry, Lin Lin. It's your parents who are sorry for you. We apologize to you. But Lin Lin, we also have to reflect on ourselves. Why did they hit you when they didn't hit others? You are also wrong in this matter. If you were not so ostentatious, who would pay attention to you? As the saying goes, one hand can't clap, and flies don't bite seamless eggs..."

Before she finished her words, I smashed the cup to the ground. She was startled and I was even angrier than before. What apology? She is always like this, bragging to others how wise she is, and which parent would apologize to their child to get praise, but in fact, the apology is not sincere, but it is a sincere "education".

"Was the hit you made just now loud? That was also a slap..." Tears flowed down my face again, "A fly is a fly, it will bite the egg even if there is a crack or not! I'm flamboyant? If I am flamboyant, then there will be no low-key people in this world. You have said more than once before that I am introverted, why am I flamboyant now? Aren't you my mother? Don't you claim to know me best? What do you know about me? You asked me to reflect, and I have reflected many times, and I am not wrong! They are wrong! Did I do anything wrong when I was a child? Don't you know that I was beaten so many times? It is important for people to reflect on themselves, but excessive self-reflection is cowardice and incompetence! That's what you are like now. My father is the executioner who hurt me, and you are the one who handed him the knife!" I looked straight into her eyes, and both mother and daughter were in tears, one with stubborn eyes and the other with guilty look.

"Mom, you are the one who should reflect on yourself. You think you are perfect, always alert yourself, and strictly demand yourself, but you haven't reflected on the point for so long, and you are not as clear as me. You love the world, like a saint. You are a good wife, a good daughter, a good daughter-in-law, a good sister, a good sister, a good elder, a good friend, a good boss... But to me, you are not a good mother. You don't know what I like to eat, what I am allergic to, what I need, what class I am in, what is the teacher's last name, whether I have any friends, whether I have been bullied by others, you always let me find the reason for myself, and even envy Cheng Xinyuan for being too close to me... You only think that you have a hard time. Yes, you work hard, you are the hardest worker in the world! But you have never thought about it. I am only 15 years old. How can I... How did you learn to cook, knead dough, steam buns, slaughter chickens and fish? There are some things you don’t even know! How can I wash clothes? You and dad’s clothes are so many and heavy. Without a washing machine, no matter how much strength I have, I can’t wring them out... Cheng Xinyuan is ten years old. How many times have you cooked for him? He is growing taller. You don’t really think it’s all due to genes! You always have your own things to do and always have so many reasons. Yes, you say I should do these things. You all went through this, but why do you want me to go through the hardships you have gone through? Am I born to suffer these hardships? Cheng Xinyuan knows how to feel sorry for me. You only enjoy other people’s praise of me and are used to it. If I do something wrong, you will vent your anger on me! You have never cared about me, never..."

My voice became softer and softer, but I didn't stop. "I have reflected on whether I am not good enough and embarrassed you. But I have been the first in so many exams, and I have so many certificates that I can use them as draft paper. It is better for Cheng Xinlin to improve a few places and make my dad happy. You think you are perfect parents. Haha, truly perfect parents will not say such things every day. Mom, you always say you want to be friends with me, but we can't be friends. If you were not my mother, I would not want to know you!"

"I'm sleepy and have to go to school tomorrow, so I'm going to sleep..." I threw down the last words and walked into the room, ignoring the sobbing Ms. Lin and the silent Cheng Xingmin.

Cheng Xinyuan didn't sleep, he kept his eyes open and cried silently, his pillow was wet, he heard everything that happened just now. It was not long after we moved to the commercial street, Ms. Lin hadn't bought the second floor yet, Cheng Xinyuan and I shared a room, the dressing room was expanded, it was very small, the big bed couldn't fit, Ms. Lin bought a bunk bed, barely enough to put in a table.