The Three-Life Stone

A lotus flower emerges from clear water, naturally without any decoration. This is my first impression of Jiang Wan.

To be honest, I don’t know how I came to this world. I just can’t find the meaning of my existence. I walked on the streets wantonly, crying and laughing, laughing and crying, and then it was as if I entered a beam of white light.

There has never been absolute fairness or absolute injustice in this world. I have been living an ordinary life. I am very sad and naive. I don’t understand this complicated world, nor can I understand the complicated human heart. My world is very simple, but even such simplicity is very complicated.

There is a high probability that a failed family will be passed on to the next generation. They are inferior, sensitive, long for love and afraid of losing. If you don’t have the awareness of having a family, please don’t leave offspring for the sake of a complete family.

Maybe boys will be under a lot of pressure, but the status of girls has never been equal, some are treasures, some are weeds.

As a left-behind family, my parents' love has been vague since I can remember. There were quarrels, endless quarrels, quarrels between my parents, quarrels between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, and chattering between relatives. My mother in armor may have appeared before, but she has never appeared in my memory since the moment they left me behind.

Maybe there is love between generations. A child who lacks love will always regard the person who has been with him for a long time as the closest person. A life that grows up hastily is destined to tragedy in the future.

The person who hurts you unscrupulously is the one who once said that he would protect your vulnerability, stop you from crying, and shelter you from the wind and rain. There is no right or wrong in love. Whoever's humility is not understood loses.

As I grow up, I put up layers of protection for myself. Anyone can leave, anyone can abandon me, and I will not be disappointed. At most... I will be a little sad. I am used to losing, whether it is on the road to growth or on a street. So when these people are around me, I don’t know how to get along with others.

The words my mother shouted out awkwardly like a thorn in her throat, and the words my father kept sticking on her lips were finally swallowed back into her stomach. My grandmother, who called me the most fluently, also knew in her heart that her love had been given to many people, and in the end, I did not have any hatred towards the man who made me sad.

Someone asked me, "Have you ever hated your parents?" I have blamed and resented them, but never hated them, because I don't deserve the word "hate".

I would think that other people's daughters were also abused and abandoned, but they still lived a successful life. My parents just didn't love me, didn't raise me, and abandoned me in the countryside. It's not like no one took care of me. I'm still grown up. What's there to hate? If I can be great, will I not be loved? If I am excellent, will I not be loved?

Hate is too cheap and will make me feel even more inferior, so I don’t hate anyone. I always try my best to be tolerant, forget, and then let go. I feel that I don’t need these things.

I am very free. Even if someone dissuades me from doing something, as long as I take the first step, the next step will be smooth. I envy people who can keep talking about their care, but I don’t want to have it. I am used to freedom, and I feel fearless when people talk too superficially.

I am very restrained. My circle is very small. Apart from my colleagues, I basically don't make new friends. If I have time, I can stay at home for three days with my mobile phone in hand, or I can ride a donkey and climb a mountain alone.

At that time, there was a loneliness level distribution on the Internet, I forgot how it was, I just think it is very free to go to the supermarket alone, I don’t have to worry about time and I can hesitate at places that interest me. I also think it is very free to travel alone, I can look at a handsome guy secretly happy for a few seconds and then forget about it and run to my own destination. It’s obviously freedom, so why talk about loneliness?

It's just that I don't like myself like this. I made a wrong choice and was constrained by my family. I was so inferior and cowardly that I missed the opportunity to save myself again and again. A naive person like me can talk to myself alone, laugh at a small thing, and cry alone because of a tear point, instead of being trapped in a group of trivial matters and quarreling all day long.

I tried very hard, very hard not to care about those little things, to ignore the trivialities of life and to love this ordinary life. The sad thing is that the mutual redemption of two unfortunate people can never be achieved by one party letting go. Two people with unfortunate childhoods can never redeem each other. They are both full of inferiority in their hearts and they both desire to be loved. How can they satisfy the love and determination of another person?

Both sides will suffer losses.

Fireworks are beautiful, right? They can shine brightly in an instant, with colorful lights scattering everywhere, and the huge sound is shocking, but from the very beginning I would think of its withering loneliness.

I will be shocked by the beauty and shock of fireworks, which are an indispensable part of every Chinese New Year. After all, the only thing I can feel the festive atmosphere of the New Year on this day of family reunion is fireworks. So I will not reject them. Instead, I will buy some small fireworks to add to the excitement. However, in my heart I always put a countdown on this bright light.

My life has undergone earth-shaking changes since I traveled through time and space to Jiang Wan.

There are no electronic products here. Although I was not used to life without a mobile phone at first, it turns out that my eyes are not as bright as those without myopia, and I don’t have to squint occasionally to see something. It turns out that it is wonderful to get rid of the mobile phone.

At first I was a little scared of this strange world. I was afraid that I didn’t know the etiquette, that I would be found out, and that I would die here. Although I couldn’t find the meaning of my existence, I didn’t want to die like this.

I didn't speak a word every day except for what the maid helped me do. I just did what she helped me do. I bowed when the maid reminded me to bow. Even though I had just recovered from a serious illness, no one thought I did anything wrong. Instead, everyone cared about me. I didn't understand how true or false this concern was, but it did make me more and more confident.

I learned that this body was called Jiang Wan, a poetic name that sounded like a gentle lady from a noble family; I learned that Tutor Jiang was highly regarded by the Emperor and had once served as his tutor, so the Jiang family also prospered; I learned that I was now the legitimate daughter of the Jiang family and was quite loved.

I would clumsily act like a spoiled child to my wife, shyly act like a spoiled child to my tutor, and be timid when interacting with other people, but no one would be able to see my inner fluctuations. After all, people with low self-esteem have many different inner feelings, but they always look very calm on the surface, making people feel that they are superior and keep away from others.

I didn't know I would meet my love so soon in this era. I was very surprised when I learned that I was proposed to. In this backward era, women over 18 are considered to be left-over women. Even if they have a good family background and status, women can't afford to wait. So even if I don't want to think about this problem, I have to face it.

After observing the two men behind the screen, I didn't have much interest in either of them. Maybe it was because of the trauma I suffered back then that left me with a lot of uncertainty about men. I always feel that I should be more cautious in this age of lifelong relationships.

Murong Yi's proposal caught me off guard. I admit that I am a bit obsessed with looks. I can feel that this person is different. He is very calm and every word he says seems real. So when he said that I would be his princess forever, my heart was moved. This man is not just gentle on the outside, he has ambitions and aspirations hidden in his heart.

I secretly inquired about him and his life experience, and learned that he had a miserable childhood, which made me hesitate, but in a flash, he was not defeated. Instead, he looked stronger. People like him are different.

A prince who was abandoned as a hostage in an enemy country now comes back and needs help to stand firm step by step. When I saw the determination in his eyes when he promised me the position of Crown Princess, I felt that he was also a dedicated person.

I guessed right, he is indeed very loyal, but that person is not me.

I have been with Murong Yi for several years, and I have never expected that he would really love me. I am already very satisfied to be able to stay with such an outstanding person, not to mention that I am a slow-warm person. Even if I am very happy, I am afraid to be frank with each other before we are familiar with each other. I will fall in love with this man, and slowly get to know each other. I believe that one day he will see my good side and fall in love with me.

He never hides things from me when he does something, which makes it very convenient for me to observe his actions. I don't know if he feels guilty towards me or what, but he never refuses my requests.

We were husband and wife, so when he was thinking in his study, I would stand behind him and rub his temples or grind ink for him. He would remain silent and never refuse. I infiltrated his life little by little through these little things.

Sometimes I’m not sure if I’m dreaming, but when I wake up I find that I’m not dreaming.

I am very beautiful now, and I am still learning music, chess, calligraphy and painting, but my body's muscle memory makes me feel that learning is not difficult. I have the illusion that I am a genius. My life is no longer a mess. I can see Murong Yi's handsome face when I open my eyes. Even if we don't hug each other, there are still many petty thefts.

I had the same joyful feeling as when I was a teenager and had a crush on someone and took action, but I also had the illusion of being a thirty-year-old old man pretending to be young and flirting with married women and men.

All in all, I am quite satisfied with the current situation, and I have changed a lot.

But as I became more familiar with her, I began to hear the name Shangguan Wan'er, and I suspected that this was the person he once loved. Later, I also heard the name Xia Jin, and I was a little confused about the relationship.

Sometimes he cried in his dreams and the most common thing he said was "Sister, please don't abandon me."

I secretly asked someone to check the people he mentioned. Shangguan Wan'er was the concubine of the Northern Emperor, Xia Jin was a lady from Jiangzhou in the Northern Kingdom, and Murong Yi's sister didn't seem to exist.

But who am I? I am a time traveler, and I am sensitive and thoughtful, so from the clues I found later, I realized that these three people were most likely the same person.

Murong Yi was very likely to be reborn. As a time traveler, it was not difficult to think of this. So I followed this clue and began to ponder over his words and his usual actions.

His anxiety and fragility make me feel distressed, and his understanding and strength also make me feel inexplicably familiar, but we are different.

He secretly protects a woman, and I am not jealous. It is normal for men here to have three wives and four concubines, but he only has me, and he can only protect that person silently. I am the only woman who can stand by his side, so I have nothing to worry about.

When I found out that woman came here, I panicked. I found her and wanted to defend my stolen life.

I have always been very inferior and cowardly all my life, but this time I want to make a firm choice.

Murong Yi is my man. I don’t care what relationship you had with him in the past, but this man is mine now. I am Jiang Wan, the legitimate daughter of Master Jiang, and the woman beside Murong Yi.