Siheyuan: I'm not happy, don't even think about having a good life
Chapter 48 The Wedding Ends
Hong Guan watched for a while and found that his emotional value was all gone. He was suddenly speechless. Yi Zhonghai and Jia Zhangshi, I gave you a chance, but you are useless!
Seeing that it would take some time for the banquet to start, and Zhou Zhennan was chatting with the Sun family and other comrades, Hong Guan did not wait any longer.
When we got into the house, we started preparing the dishes: a grilled beef fillet, a twice-cooked pork, a plate of peanuts, and a plate of sweet and sour pork. That was it. It was just for a drink. If the preparation was too sumptuous, people would think too much. It was better to just have enough dishes.
There was another burst of firecrackers outside. Hong Guan knew that the dinner was about to begin, so he started to prepare his dishes. The sweet and sour pork was the most time-consuming, so he prepared it first.
"Yushui, you don't have to go out to eat. Just keep an eye on the door for me. If anyone comes, bring them in. I'll cook a few dishes and give you some later. You can eat in your own room!"
"I understand, Brother Guan!"
As soon as the sweet and sour pork came out of the pot, He Yushui led Zhou Zhennan in. Seeing Hong Guan cooking, he glanced at the sweet and sour pork and couldn't take his eyes off it. He had eaten this dish when he was in the Northeast, but he had never seen it again after returning from the north.
I picked it up and tasted a piece. It was authentic old-fashioned sweet and sour pork. I thought Hong Guan was bragging, but I didn’t expect the cooking skills were so good!
"Go and bring a box of wine from my car. I want to have a drink with this guy today!"
The guard scratched his head in embarrassment. "Uncle, when we went out, Auntie told you not to drink. And you took a whole box this time, that's too much!"
Zhou Zhennan kicked him and said, "What's too much? I'm not the only one drinking. Stop mentioning your aunt all the time. Are you my bodyguard or her bodyguard? Do you listen to me or her?"
The guard rubbed his butt and muttered softly, "Don't you listen to your aunt at home?" When he saw Zhou Zhennan raising his hand, he ran out quickly.
At this time, there was a sizzling sound from the kitchen, and a spicy smell drifted over. Zhou Zhennan took a sniff and said, "You are really good, you can even cook Sichuan cuisine!"
"Haha, Brother Zhou, you are looking down on me. Nowadays, everyone has a skill to look after the house. If I hadn't gone to the medical department, I would definitely be the hungry chef of Fengze Garden!"
"You kid, you don't know what humility is. Be careful or the food might not taste good and ruin your reputation!"
"I'm already being very modest, okay? How old am I? How old are those master chefs? With my talent, when I was the same age as them, I would definitely be included in the state banquet!"
Zhou Zhennan then remembered that he had read Hong Guan's information and found that this kid was only eighteen years old this year. If he hadn't confirmed that the information was correct, he would not have believed his age!
If Hong Guan knew what he was thinking, he would definitely laugh to death. This body is eighteen years old, but the soul is that of an old otaku in his forties. How can they be the same?
Just as the guard was carrying a box of special-supply Moutai into the room, Hong Guan also came out with peanuts and twice-cooked pork.
"Wow, special supply Moutai, Brother Zhou, I'm going to benefit from this today!"
"Haha, if I don't bring out some good wine, wouldn't it be a waste of your delicious food?"
"Okay, that's a very frank statement. There's another dish. Wait for me for a moment!"
Soon, the last sizzling beef tenderloin was served. Hong Guan took out two cups and poured one for each of them. "Little brother, you probably haven't eaten yet, right? Yu Shui, come here, take the dishes from the kitchen and this little brother to your room to eat!"
The guard glanced at Zhou Zhennan and saw Zhou Zhennan nod. Then he followed He Yushui and went to the next room with the dishes!
Zhou Zhennan tasted the remaining three dishes and gave Hong Guan a thumbs up, "You are quite good, boy. These fried peanuts are better than the ones my wife makes!"
Hong Guan took a bite of beef and picked up the glass. "Of course, this is a good time. Let's eat meat and drink wine."
Zhou Zhennan laughed and said, "Come on, let's go!"
While the two were eating and chatting in the house, Xu Damao and Sun Xiuying were also toasting at each table. Although each table only drank a little, there were so many people that Xu Damao's face soon turned red from drinking.
As for Sun Xiuying, she specially made some red wine for the baby in her belly. Although it made her a little embarrassed, it was actually no big deal.
Seeing Xu Damao drunk, Sun Xiuying breathed a sigh of relief. It was a bit awkward to drug her man on the first day of their marriage.
It would be best if she just drank too much, so she wouldn't have to feel guilty.
Just when everyone was toasting and eating happily, Sha Zhu was in trouble. He had been trying to get the food off his mouth and call for help, but those two people were very skilled and it was impossible to get rid of it in a short time.
While he was still working hard, as the sound of firecrackers signaling the start of the meal rang out, he also began to fart. After a few consecutive loud farts, Sha Zhu's face turned purple and his stomach ached like a knife.
When he tried to fart, there was a strange sound. Despair appeared on Shazhu's face, and tears flowed down his eyes. Sure enough, when you have a stomachache, you can't believe any fart!
After the first time, it was like a rushing torrent, unstoppable. Sha Zhu whimpered a few times and finally closed his eyes in despair!
His inner thoughts at this moment were just like the thoughts of Cao Cao, played by Guo Degang in The Treasure Box of Yue Guang. This matter must not be known to anyone, otherwise he would probably never be able to hold his head up in this life.
Two hours later, the party slowly ended. Xu Damao was already drunk and unconscious. He was helped into the house and the guests also left.
Zhou Zhennan and Hong Guan drank four bottles of Moutai. Hong Guan had great endurance, but Zhou Zhennan couldn't handle it. He was so drunk that he was talking nonsense. With the help of the guards, he got into the car and left!
At this time, Sister Sun came over and confirmed that no one was in the room. Then she walked in and said, "Sister Sun, what's going on? What are you looking at?"
"I want to see if Uncle Zhou has left. We are from the same compound, and he has always punished me since I was a child!"
"Haha, I didn't expect you're still afraid of someone. But I call him Brother Zhou and you call him Uncle Zhou. I'm older now, so just call me Uncle!"
Sister Sun raised her hand to hit him, but Hong Guan dodged with a playful smile, "I'm going home. I came here to tell you something. When I took people to deal with Sha Zhu, I tied him up and made him eat croton powder. You should know what the result was, right?"
"After feeding him croton powder, you tied him up in the house?"
"Well, not only have we tied him up in the house, we've also blocked his mouth. You can ask someone to check it out later!"
Hong Guan felt a little annoyed. This guy was too cruel. However, this was also a way to gain emotional value. Sha Zhu was the protagonist and a reckless man. He had always been a big contributor of emotional value!
"Okay, I know. You should leave now. If you are discovered in advance, you will have a hard time explaining yourself!"
After sending Sister Sun to the door, I saw Yan Bugui and his family packing some food and returning with smiles on their faces. Many people would not be interested in these leftovers, but for the Yan family, they were delicacies!
"Hey, Third Uncle, this is a good harvest!"
"That's mainly because Old Xu is very open-minded. Not only did he give a lot, he also didn't ask for money. Unlike the Jia family, when Jia Dongxu got married, there was only one meat dish. I wanted to pack up some leftovers, but they complained that my contribution was too small and asked me for money!"
Then Yan Bugui started to complain, and Hong Guan kept listening with a smile. Suddenly, Hong Guan twitched his nose a few times. He was not pretending, he really smelled it.
"Uncle, do you smell something bad?"
Yan Bugui also twitched his nose a few times. "It seems that there is indeed someone there. Could someone have fallen into the toilet again?"
Hong Guan shook his head and said, "It doesn't seem like it!" Then he slowly walked towards the door of Sha Zhu's house. When he was almost there, he turned around and called Yan Bugui, "Uncle, that's the smell coming from Sha Zhu's house!"
Yan Bugui walked to the door of Shazhu's house, smelled it, immediately covered his mouth and nose, and took a few steps back. The smell was too strong!
The idiot in the room was covered in "Aoli Gei", as if his whole body was covered with mosaics, making it impossible to look directly at him.
At this moment, he was leaning against the cabinet on the kang, his hands constantly moving on the edges, and the rope was about to break. Hearing the conversation between Hong Guan and Yan Bugui, he had a bad premonition!
In order to increase his mood, Hong Guan activated the heroic charge mode, walked to the door of Sha Zhu's house, raised his hand and knocked hard, "Sha Zhu, are you at home? What are you doing? Are you stewing shit?"
When Sister Sun and the others left, they just closed the door. With Hong Guan's deliberate force, the door opened immediately, allowing Hong Guan to see a scene that made him want to poke his own eyes out!
"Fuck, Shazhu, you bastard, you're really good at playing ...
After saying that, he turned around and pretended to retch. Hong Guan didn't want to really vomit and spit out the Moutai he drank at noon. That was a special supply. It was the first time he had drunk it in his two lifetimes!
Fortunately, I have experienced a lot in my previous life, and my ability to withstand it is extremely strong, so the impact is not too great.
Yan Bugui was not so lucky. After hearing what Hong Guan said, he looked inside curiously, lowered his head and started to vomit.
Sha Zhu leaned against the cabinet, feeling extremely sad. All his efforts had been in vain. My reputation as the God of War in the Siheyuan Courtyard was gone forever!
When the residents in the front yard saw the looks on Hong Guan and Yan Bugui's faces, they curiously went into the house to take a look. Then they behaved like Yan Bugui and almost vomited out the delicious food they had eaten at noon.
Soon, Sha Zhu's home became a tourist attraction in the courtyard. People from the middle courtyard and the back courtyard also came to see it, and then they all became miserable.
Looking at the explosive emotional value, Hong Guan was so happy that his heart was blossoming. At this time, Jia Dongxu brought Qin Huairu and Jia Zhangshi to join in the fun.
When Sha Zhu saw Qin Huairu's disgusted look and her gesture of turning her head and vomiting, he felt despair. His white moonlight left him from then on.
And Jia Dongxu's smug expression as if he had avenged himself made Sha Zhu feel ashamed. This bastard cheated him of two hundred dollars and came to watch the fun!
Seeing the vomit all over the floor, Hong Guan quickly left. He Yushui happened to come over to watch the fun, but was quickly pulled away by Hong Guan. What the hell is there to watch? If he keeps watching, he will have to help clean up. It's really easy to vomit there!
When they got home, Hong Guan saw that there were still two bottles of Moutai left in the box. He chuckled and said, "Zhou Zhennan is quite particular. These two bottles of special Moutai are something that money cannot buy!"
He Yushui came over with a curious look on his face, "Brother Guan, what happened at my brother's house? Why did everyone go to see it? Why didn't you let me go and see it?"
Hong Guan had a playful expression on his face and told He Yushui about the situation. The girl's eyes widened in surprise, and soon turned into a look of disgust. Her brother was too shameless to actually bring chin bean powder into Xu Damao's wedding banquet. How could a human being come up with such a thing?
In fact, it is not that serious. Sha Zhu prepared more than ten packets of croton powder. Ten tables were set up in the hospital today. Even if all of them were put in, it would not cause diarrhea immediately. At most, they would just go to the toilet a few more times after digestion.
People wouldn't be too suspicious and would just think that it was just diarrhea because they had eaten something delicious and greasy all of a sudden.
The two played Gobang and checkers at home. At four o'clock, Hong Guan pushed the cart and left.
When he arrived at the front yard, there was still a faint smell. The door of Sha Zhu's house was closed, and he didn't know if there was anyone who could help him escape.
You can still see traces of cleaning on the ground in the yard. Fortunately, I ran fast. It would be too disgusting if I had to clean it up myself.
When I arrived at the steel mill, I waited for the bell to ring and left with the crowd. Among the crowd, I heard about Sha Zhu's great achievements.
Sister Sun is really cruel. You should be careful in the future and don’t offend anyone. If she takes revenge on you, I’ll want to die.
At night, after dinner, I lay on the kang and checked my gains for the day. Wow, my emotional value increased by 40,000. The crossing progress bar is only 40,000 away from the 400,000 mark. It’s just around the corner!
The emotion value that can be drawn for the lottery has reached 120,000, and I can draw ten times in a row. Thank you Sister Sun for the gift, and thank you Sha Zhu for his passionate participation!
At this moment, Hong Guan once again experienced the pleasure of being the sixth in command. It turned out that one can be more awesome if he doesn't act like a human being!
Entering the dense forest copy, I came to the river again. This time there were no herbivores by the river, but there was a gorgeous tiger. Even though it was lowering its head to drink water, it gave people a strong sense of oppression.
What is even more exaggerated is its size. It is more than four meters tall, taller than a floor. Its body length is estimated to be more than ten meters, and its tail is more than five meters long.
Moreover, the fangs in its mouth are just like the saber-toothed tigers you have seen in pictures before. They are more than one meter long, almost two meters long, sticking out of its mouth. If you get bit by one of them, it would be really chilling and heart-wrenching!
He quickly climbed up the tree, took out Destruction and held it in his arms. Only then did he feel a little safe.
He aimed his gun and just as he locked onto the tiger's head, the king of beasts reacted, suddenly turned around and locked onto Hong Guan's position. The oppressive feeling that came towards him made all the hairs on his body stand up!
When he pulled the trigger, the tiger dodged with a gust of fishy wind, which made Hong Guan understand what "clouds follow dragons and winds follow tigers" meant.
Several shots were fired in succession, but none of them hit the tiger. Although the tiger was big, it was even faster, and there was even an afterimage!
Watching the tiger getting closer and closer to the tree, Hong Guan's clothes were soaked with sweat. He forced himself to calm down, and when the tiger pounced and bit him, he pulled the trigger. A incendiary bomb was fired, knocking the tiger away.
The tiger whimpered and fell to the ground. Hong Guan did not dare to relax, and emptied the magazine directly, while charging the destruction. It was not until the second magazine was empty and he was sure that the tiger was dead that Hong Guan breathed a sigh of relief and climbed down from the tree.
After collecting the spoils, they quickly ran away. The noise just now was too loud and it might easily alarm other wild animals, so it was better to be careful.
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