After midnight

The wind blew on his face, making Yin frown. Xindu had been gloomy for several days, and their mood was no different. Yin left Xu Xing and Bai Ming's house and returned to Impression East City alone.

An Yan and Su Ziling were not at home. Yin stood in the empty living room and thought for a while before following their footsteps to the valley east of Xindu. The wind in the valley was more desolate and fiercer than in the city, but neither could blow away the haze on Yin's face, instead making Yin feel cold all over.

When Yin arrived, he saw clear water, scorching fire, and rising white smoke. The white smoke was ethereal and was blown away by the wind. When Yin stood there watching them, he didn't notice that his face calmed down a lot in an instant. He watched them fight back and forth, having a great time.

"Brother!" Su Ziling spotted him first and ran towards him.

"Brother, why are you here?"

"The wind is strong, let's go home first." Yin said as he grabbed his hair, turned around and led them away.

"Brother, what's wrong?" Su Ziling asked worriedly when they got home. Yin didn't say a word during the whole journey.

"An Yan, why did you agree to leave on May 4th?" Yin stared at Anyan and asked, seemingly with a sense of resentment.

An Yan looked at Yin, and he knew that this question had finally come. Although he had a hunch when Yin appeared in the valley that Yin was coming to question him, he still didn't expect that the person who asked him this question would be Yin, not Xu Xing or Bai Ming.

"There are some requests that you have to agree to even if you know they are dangerous," An Yan replied. His answer was just like his usual answers to numerous difficult questions, with honesty and affirmation. He continued, "But I won't use this to evade my responsibilities. I will give Xu Xing and Bai Ming an explanation."

After An Yan finished speaking, he thought Yin would continue to question him, but who knew that Yin remained silent for a long time, his brows became more and more furrowed, and actually twisted into a knot. Su Ziling looked at An Yan and then at Yin, not knowing how to break this situation.

The atmosphere remained tense until Yin finally took out a letter from his pocket and handed it to An Yan. "An Yan, no one is asking you to explain. You haven't read this letter for Xu Xing and Bai Ming yet."

An Yan looked at the letter, then took it and opened it.

Xu Xing, if you see this letter, it means I have already left and will never come back to Xindu to see you. Otherwise, I will definitely tell you these words in person.

You may wonder why I left in the first place. It was because I had to face myself honestly. Qiqi was no longer the only one in my life, and I felt I had betrayed her. She had exchanged her life for my rebirth, so I couldn't tell myself with a clear conscience that she just wanted me to be happy, and then I could just live on without caring about anything.

I love you. You bring me warmth and light. I want to fight against my past of decades of darkness. I am fully prepared to return to Xindu this time. I will volunteer to join the revolutionary army and become your fighting force. I want to go on missions and accept being studied. I want to announce my existence to the world. I want to live well with you.

So, I must face Qiqi bravely and tell her all these words. This pilgrimage is my farewell to her, because Beihai is a distant place she has never been to. Qiqi must be angry that I ran away alone. I know it is dangerous and selfish, but I still did it. Because I have a secret hidden in the deepest part of my heart to tell you, that is, although there is no future, I am lucky enough.

If I can return to Xindu alive this time, I will be with you forever. If I can't go back, I will be happy to be with Qiqi. Just thinking about it, I feel that I have earned it. So please don't be sad, don't cry, and don't blame anyone because of me.

Finally, please forgive me for being selfish this time, I love your May Fourth.

After reading the letter, An Yan's eyes suddenly turned red, and Su Ziling, who was standing next to him, was even more out of control.

"Why did Wu Si leave, Anyan, what is the reason?" Yin asked again. Yin obviously knew the answer, but he still couldn't help asking. Anyan looked at Yin, and then he realized that Yin felt the same pain as them.

"An Yan, nothing is more important than life. I will not forgive Wu Si for dying like this. Even if he thinks this is his happiness. An Yan, do you understand what I said?"

An Yan didn't explain clearly nor did he say he didn't understand. He said, "I will send this letter back to Xu Xing and Bai Ming."

An Yan's words were a little hoarse, and Yin looked at him and suddenly remembered the battle between An Yan and Su Ziling in the valley in the afternoon. Yin didn't want to force him, so he said softly: "Go."

Surprised at Yin's sudden change, An Yan didn't think much about it. He walked out with Su Ziling.

After they left, Yin also turned around and left, gradually revealing his original heaviness and fatigue. This matter made him feel particularly tired for some reason, a feeling of powerlessness. Because although Yin also came from the darkness, there were endless struggles and calculations there, and he only learned that nothing was more important than being alive.

Therefore, he could not understand Wu Si. At first, he wanted to question and scold, but later he began to hesitate, and then he was afraid. He was afraid that he could not understand Wu Si, and perhaps he could not really understand An Yan. Because until now, he still did not know clearly what was hidden in An Yan's heart.

At this point, it seems that all the mysteries have been solved. But there must be something else, surging undercurrents in the deep sea, unknown to the public. Yin sighed deeply and returned home.

"An Yan, Su Ziling." Bai Ming looked at the people standing outside the door helplessly.

"We are here to return this letter." An Yan handed the letter out from his black coat, but he held the letter tightly and leaned his elbows against his body.

"Come in first." Bai Ming took a look and said. He knew it wouldn't be easy for An Yan to come in person.

When An Yan and Su Ziling entered Bai Ming and Xu Xing's home for the first time, they saw that Wu Si lived in such a messy yet warm place.

"An Yan, Zi Ling, you're here." Xu Xing said. He came out of the bedroom when he heard the noise and headed to the kitchen. "Sit down, I'll get you a glass of water."

Xu Xing stood in the kitchen, staring at the transparent glass in a trance. He wanted to act normal. Wu Si had just left, and he wanted to be quiet, but he met Yin, Anyan, and Su Ziling in one day. It seemed that after Wu Si's death, they would no longer have room to breathe.

On the coffee table, the tea was emitting wisps of hot steam. An Yan broke the silence and took out the envelope and placed it on the table.

"I'm sorry." Anyan said.

Bai Ming's eyes instantly turned red. God knows, he had no intention of blaming An Yan at all. But when An Yan said this, he still felt relieved and comforted. It was like his self-blame and pain were shared by someone else, and the suppressed guilt in his heart was also released.

"Don't apologize, Anyan. It's not your fault. When Wu Si left, we did nothing but wait. If we had gone..." Xu Xing stopped talking. He was quite self-deprecating because it was useless to say anything now.

"Yes, An Yan, don't say sorry. If there is an apology, it is us who should apologize." Wu Si is their family, but Wu Si means something special to An Yan. It was An Yan who gave Wu Si to them, and Bai Ming knew it very well.

"Okay, stop apologizing here. If you want to blame someone, blame the executioners!" Su Ziling couldn't bear to see them feeling so guilty and self-blaming. The May Fourth Movement was not wrong, and neither were they. It was all Song Hongtian and Song Yu's fault. Su Ziling was filled with righteous indignation. He really hated that group of people.

Su Ziling really hated that group of people. Hatred emanated from his chest, making his whole body enveloped in this emotion. He breathed angrily, clenched his teeth, his body temperature continued to rise, and his face began to distort.

He stood up abruptly and walked to the windowsill.

When he was a child, his and Anyan's families were persecuted, and he could only passively accept his fate and flee to another world. When he grew up and returned to this world again, he began to rely on Yin and Anyan instinctively. Later, he recalled everything and began to want to become stronger. But to be honest, this kind of strength is for self-protection, to follow in the footsteps of Yin and Anyan. He didn't want to be abandoned by them.

He also felt angry and painful about what Song Hongtian had done to him and his family, but with the passage of time, it seemed a little strange and distant. When he first came here, he didn't have much sense of reality in this world, so how could he really remember the pain and hatred?

He wanted to become stronger again later because he was afraid of losing Yin and Anyan, and he wanted to protect them. But these were all out of good intentions, his introspection and reflection, and his requirements for himself. Wu Si's death made him burst out with true hatred for the first time.

Why should someone like Song Yu live in this world? For the first time, Su Ziling thought of fighting back. He couldn't die, and neither could Yin and Anyan, so some people had to die. There was no other choice but to fight to the death. Su Ziling stood on the windowsill and clenched his fists tightly.

An Yan looked at Su Ziling's solemn figure, and was suddenly shocked. Su Ziling was in pain and felt unwilling to accept all this. In this case, An Yan thought, let it end quickly, everything should be over.

"Xu Xing and Bai Ming, tomorrow is Sunday. Come to my house at ten o'clock in the morning. Although some things are my own business, they involve May Fourth Movement, and I think you have the right to know." An Yan made up his mind and spoke.

Su Ziling turned around, surprise all over his face. What was An Yan planning to do? The last time he spoke in this tone and manner was when Zhao Yunqi died.

"Let's go, Su Ziling, let's go home." An Yan said.

"Okay." Su Ziling nodded and followed An Yan back silently.

After they left, the tea got cold. Xu Xing took the letter that An Yan had left on the table and treasured it.