After midnight

Su Ziling opened the door of his home with disheveled hair and swollen eyes. Just like a few hours ago, he was covered in mud.

"Where's An Yan?" After Su Ziling opened the door, Lin Nuan was standing outside alone. Lin Nuan looked at him, not knowing what had happened to make Su Ziling look more haggard than before.

"I don't know if he wants you to know."

"What's the meaning."

Su Ziling looked really weak and didn't seem to want to explain too much. But unexpectedly, Su Ziling took a deep breath and said, "It means that An Yan disappeared. This was his choice. If you want to know, I can show you the letter he left behind, but don't tell anyone else after you read it, because I don't want anyone else to know. Miss Lin Nuan, Xiao Su and I will leave here tonight and never come back."

"Letter, give it to me."

Su Ziling took out the letter, and Lin Nuan read it in silence. Suddenly, she felt a pain in her stomach, and quickly held onto the door frame.

"Lin Nuan, are you okay?" Su Ziling was startled and a little annoyed. He had said too much. He had forgotten that Lin Nuan might not be able to be stimulated anymore. But Su Ziling did not regret showing her the letter. She deserved to know An Yan's true thoughts. If there was anyone else in the world who Su Ziling could tell him where An Yan ended up, it was only her.

"Don't worry, I'm fine. I won't let anything happen to the child."

Su Ziling waited until he confirmed that Lin Nuan seemed to be fine before taking the letter back and saying, "Lin Nuan, I let you read it because I know you can fulfill An Yan's...last wish. You will make this world a better place, right?"

Lin Nuan smiled with difficulty. Of course she would. She didn't know the reason, but she could only accept the outcome.

"I'm sorry, Lin Nuan. Just think of An Yan as leaving with us. If that makes you feel better."

Lin Nuan did not respond. She turned around slowly. What else did she need to say? She knew that what Su Ziling had just said was true. They would never come back.

Su Ziling looked at Lin Nuan with complicated expression as she walked further and further away, and finally closed the door weakly.

Lin Nuan was so smart that even if she didn't know the reason, she would definitely guess that the light was An Yan. He turned into a ball of light, splitting the past and the future.

At 11 o'clock at night, Su Ziling sat on the sofa in the living room, Xiao Su sat on his lap with his legs apart, and buried his head in the side of Su Ziling's left shoulder. Beside them, black backpacks were close together, and the silver suitcases reflected a cold and sharp light.

His eyes were fixed on the nothingness somewhere, and Su Ziling's mind was blank. The little Su in his arms was quiet, and occasionally changing her posture did not attract his attention. He was in a daze until Ye suddenly appeared. When Ye came down from the corner of the stairs, Su Ziling thought for a long time and seemed to understand why Ye appeared here out of nowhere.

"Why are you here?" he spoke first, trying to cheer himself up.

"Of course I came to see you off." Ye was a little surprised, "Why don't I see An Yan?"

Su Ziling's heart trembled when he found out that Ye was not in Xindu last night.

"Dad has something to do and needs to go back separately from us."

Ye raised his eyebrows and said nothing more. Who would not believe a child's words? He was at most a little confused, but this fleeting doubt was not worth investigating, and he was not in a position to investigate it. Su Ziling looked at Xiao Su in shock, but then silently confirmed it.

"Why, you guys don't look happy about going back?"

"No." This time Su Ziling quickly denied, "I just feel a little emotional."

"I will be reluctant to leave, but I will just come back often to visit."

"Ah."

"Okay then, I won't see you off since it's almost time. Don't worry, I'll take good care of the house. This will always be your home, and you're welcome to come back anytime. Please also tell Anyan and me."

"Okay, thank you."

Ye nodded and left. Wuying specifically explained this matter before leaving. Soon, when other things were done, he would go to look for them.

Ye left without noticing anything was wrong. He didn't know that he would never see Su Ziling and Xiao Su again for the rest of his life. They never came back, not even once. He also never saw An Yan again, because some people can find a way to meet each other, but some people can't.

People come together and part, and everyone has his or her own way home.

It was twelve o'clock. After Su Ziling and An Xiaosu left, the piano was still in its original place, the colorful lights were still wrapped around the handrails of the stairs, and the roses outside the window were in full bloom just as An Yan said.

The sound from the TV made Su Ziling feel dazed. He was holding the suitcase and An Xiaosu's hand, but before he let go, he saw two middle-aged men and women who were very familiar to him but also a little strange. His parents stood up and came over to hold him in their arms in surprise, and Su Ziling obeyed them obediently.

Bathing, eating, sleeping, everything went according to the routine, and Su Ziling finally lay on the bed and closed his eyes. In the 22nd hour after An Yan disappeared, he finally let himself lose consciousness.

The next day, when he woke up, it was already afternoon. He rolled his eyes but still felt sore and weak. He lay there for a while before someone pushed the door open. It was his mother.

"You're awake. I've packed everything for you. Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat? I'll bring this in for you. It's heavy."

Su Ziling looked over and saw the calendar that An Yan had left for him. The ten-year calendar was packed in a thick box. He had packed such a thing in his suitcase first.

"Where's Xiao Su?" Su Ziling propped himself up and half sat up.

"Your father took her downstairs to the supermarket to buy food." Su's mother put the thing on the desk in Su Ziling's room, then walked over and said tentatively: "Xiao Su is a well-behaved and beautiful child. Your father and I discussed it all night and want to move her household registration to our house. You..." Su's mother looked at Su Ziling's expression and spoke carefully.

Su Ziling then saw the red bloodshot in his mother's eyes. He moved his lips and said, "I'll listen to you, Mom."

"Then what about you and Xiao Su going to school..."

"It's all up to you."

"Okay, okay. Then you lie down for a while, and mom will go to cook."

Su Ziling nodded. After his mother left, Su Ziling got up from the bed and went to the desk. He stared at the thing for a long time and suddenly thought of something. He gently opened the box. He quickly took out the last calendar and turned to the last page. On the blank page, the words "Goodbye" were written.

It wasn’t “Happy Birthday” or anything else. It was just “Goodbye”.

What was this? Why did An Yan leave all this for him? Did he think that after ten years, he would be able to easily forget him and say goodbye to him? He couldn't do it.

Su Ziling wiped away his tears and quickly locked the calendars one by one in the empty cabinet on the bottom shelf of the desk. He closed the lid and searched for the box and placed it on the top shelf of the bookcase. He pushed the box inward with force until he could no longer see it when he looked up, then he slowly walked out of the room.

He doesn't need this little thought. How can he be sure that ten years later, he and Xiao Su will no longer need him?

Why? Su Ziling stood alone in the living room, blankly. He looked around blankly, unable to think of what he should do. When Yin died, he was extremely sad, but he knew what he was doing, he just wanted to be alone. But now, he suddenly didn't know what to do. Did he go home? Was everything he experienced real? Next, he listened to his mother and went to school, and then what?

And then what? Is there any point?

The key turned the door lock with a crisp click. Su Ziling looked over and saw Xiao Su following his father in.

"Brother Ling." She called him and smiled at him.

Su Ziling clenched his hands and immediately retreated back into the room. He closed the door and sat on the edge of the bed, not knowing what was wrong with him. He was actually avoiding Xiao Su.

An Xiaosu quickly chased Su Ziling into the house, she closed the door and stood at the door staring at Su Ziling, not daring to get close. It was obvious that Su Ziling's action just now hurt her.

"Xiao Su, come here." Su Ziling called out reluctantly.

Xiao Su came over, Su Ziling picked her up and buried his head in Xiao Su's arms. It was great, he and Xiao Su were the only ones in the room again. He hugged her tightly.

"Brother Ling, Dad said..."

"What did An Yan say?" Su Ziling suddenly raised his head and grabbed Xiao Su's arm.

"Dad said that he couldn't come back because of something, and he wanted Xiao Su to grow up happily and spend more time with Brother Ling. So if Xiao Su does this, will dad come back when he grows up?"

Su Ziling bit his lips tightly. Xiao Su knew nothing. Even though he had told her that An Yan disappeared and would never come back, she still gave herself such a vague hope, just like he had just now.

"Yes. Xiao Su did this, and her father will come back when she grows up." However, he heard himself say this. Xiao Su was still too young, how could he tell her the truth again cruelly like An Yan did.

"What about Brother Ling?" Xiao Su asked anxiously.

"Me too, I will spend more time with Xiao Su and let him grow up happily."

At the end of May, a phone call came. A day later, Su Ziling set off for Qingdao alone. They had lived in Qingdao for a period of time, and An Yan left his contact information to the landlord.

A year later, Su Ziling walked along Yishui Road again, and memories came flooding back. He had never expected that the lost memories would be so vivid, and he suddenly couldn't bear it. It had clearly been two months, and he had clearly tried to accept it.

Su Ziling looked up and saw An Yan everywhere. Sometimes he walked towards him with a smile, sometimes he stood quietly, and sometimes he strode away, leaving only his back in front of him.

Su Ziling suddenly stopped, and he suddenly realized that here he had just caught a glimpse of An Yan's true appearance. He had actually seen An Yan smile the most so early.

No, we can't go any further. Su Ziling turned around immediately. He had to go back immediately. This place was too fragile.

Su Ziling made up his mind, took out his cell phone and dialed the number. Two minutes later, Su Ziling hung up the phone and walked back. He shouldn't have come to Qingdao.

He walked back in a hurry and bumped into someone. The girl was holding his arm and the man beside him was looking at him with surprise. Su Ziling remembered that the girl was Yang Kewei, the girl he once liked.

Yang Kewei gestured and asked, "Long time no see, you come to play again. Where are your friends and that cute little girl?"

"They didn't come together."

Yang Kewei was a little disappointed and asked if they wanted to have a cup of coffee.

"No, I'm going back soon." Su Ziling glanced at the mature and considerate man beside her and nodded, "I wish you happiness."

"Thank you," said the man.

Su Ziling turned sideways and left.

Anyan, I was so willful that I didn't pack up the things we left behind. I just asked the landlord to pack them all up and send them back to where you used to live. It's payable on delivery, so it will be a waste of a lot of money, but you won't blame me, right?

Anyan, please forgive me, I still don’t know how to say goodbye to you.

Maybe, this time when I go back, I will put all your calendars on Xiao Su's bedside, and then on the way to send her to school, when she hugs me and tells me that she misses you, I will ask her, what is written on today's calendar?

Xiao Su might answer, "Have the sunflowers bloomed today?"

I guess you will write this sentence, then I will take Xiao Su to see the sunflowers bloom. I know there is a flower field in the suburbs of Shanghai, and the sunflowers are golden when they bloom.

Su Ziling looked up at the sky. Like most skies at this time last year, the sky was blue and distant. Su Ziling looked up and then took a deep breath and walked into the bustling traffic.

Anyan, the world you like is still noisy and lively.