After midnight

The year between 1997 and 1998 was the year when Song Yu's family changed the most. Song Yu couldn't remember exactly when the change started, but it should have been a certain day in spring, because he remembered that the peach blossoms were in full bloom at that time, and he wanted to go to see the peach blossoms with his cousin.

Yes, cousin. The change started because his cousin suddenly disappeared, along with his aunt. They had made plans to go out together the day before, but he disappeared the next day without even saying goodbye. So Song Yu remembered it very clearly, even though he was only a four-year-old child at the time.

Then, a series of things changed. First, his uncle Song Hongda lived alone in a small courtyard and did not come out during festivals. Then, his uncle Song Hongyi also proposed to leave home and go to Xindu, and like his cousin and aunt, he never came back. And finally, his father Song Hongtian became the new head of the Song family after attending the elders' meeting.

Originally, all this seemed to have little to do with his life, but shortly after his father became the head of the Song family, he immediately married another wife within just a week.

When Song Yu found out about this, the big red sedan chair had just arrived at his door. Song Yu was dumbfounded and at the same time he finally understood why his mother had become increasingly silent.

After his father got married, he rarely saw him again. His mother was always unhappy. He naively thought that his mother was unhappy only because of his father's remarriage, but it was far from the truth.

He didn't know how determined his mother was to wake him up from his sleep one night in early autumn and take him away from the Song Mansion and leave Jiudu.

Life after leaving Jiudu was very hard. His mother had no strong abilities or special skills, and even the savings she brought with her were not much. They fled westward and finally fled to Tingzhong, the smallest place closest to Xidu.

Now thinking about it, his mother was stupid. Because her family was in Xidu and her uncle went to Xindu, she simply lived in a small place nearby, thinking that the most dangerous place was the safest place. But his mother forgot that living in a small place with uncivilized customs also meant no job opportunities and being gossiped about for no reason.

It’s not that Song Yu hadn’t been bullied by the local kids, it’s not that he hadn’t been hungry, it’s not that he hadn’t thought about going home. He had thought about going home many times, and he had said it many times, but it all ended with that one sentence from his mother. From then on, Song Yu never thought about going home again.

That time, his mother had just finished cooking and called him to eat. "Yu'er, come and eat. Here is the delicious rice."

Song Yu ran to the table excitedly, but saw only a small bowl of porridge and a small plate of cabbage on the table, with a thin layer of oil floating in the soup.

"Come, mom will feed you, woooo~"

Song Yu obediently opened his mouth and swallowed it, although he could have eaten by himself a long time ago. While drinking, he asked vaguely: "Mom, where is your meal?"

"Mom couldn't help but eat some in the kitchen just now. You won't blame me, will you? The rest is all yours."

Song Yu stared at his mother's mouth as she spoke, and was fed another mouthful of rice. After he took this bite, he stopped eating. "Mom, I don't want to eat anymore."

"Why? Do you think mom's cooking is not tasty?"

"No." Song Yu stared at his mother's lips, thinking that his mother was lying! His mother's mouth was obviously dry, so she must not have eaten. How could she not eat? Song Yu thought unhappily.

"Why is that? If you don't eat at noon, you'll be hungry in the afternoon."

"I just don't want to eat. You're so annoying."

"Are you annoyed by your mother? Even if you are annoyed, you still have to eat. Be good and open your mouth."

"Oh, I already told you I don't want to eat anymore, why are you so annoying!"

"How do you talk about parenting?"

After being glared at and yelled at by his mother, Song Yu felt extremely wronged and burst into tears.

"I want to go home, I don't want to stay here, I want to go home!"

"Shut up, a real man shouldn't cry! If you cry again, I won't want you anymore!"

Song Yu cried even harder when he heard this. "That's great. I'll go back to find my father right now. I'll go back alone!"

"I want to see if you can go back by yourself." Mother Song threw the bowl on the table. "We have been out for such a long time. Let alone looking for me, has your father come to look for you?"

Song Yu, who was crying so hard, suddenly choked and stopped crying. At this moment, his little head seemed to realize a fact. That is, he had been out with his mother for almost half a year, but his father had never come to find him. His father, who was so brave that he could find him in a moment when playing hide-and-seek, had never worried about his safety. He didn't want him anymore!

"Wow~" Song Yu realized the seriousness of the problem and cried even more heartbrokenly. But his mother panicked.

"Yu'er, what mom said just now was just an angry remark. Your father has been here. Be good, don't cry. He is your father, he will not abandon you. He told me that he would take good care of you, and also said that a man should stand tall and upright from a young age, and not cry. In a few days, after a while, your father will come to take us back."

"Really?"

"real."

After finally coaxing Song Yu into submission, Song's mother felt relieved, but she didn't know that some words would really take root in a child's heart.

From then on, Song Yu looked forward to his father coming to pick him up every day, so that his mother would not have to work hard anymore, and he would not have to go hungry or be bullied anymore. He wanted to go back, he wanted to have both his father and mother, every child would want to have both. He didn't understand why his mother ran away and didn't want to go home, why his mother wanted to separate him from his father, but he couldn't leave his mother, even if he remembered the way home clearly.

Father, please take me and my mother home as soon as possible. This was the best wish in Song Yu's heart when he was only five years old. But unfortunately, things did not go as planned. They ran away from home in late autumn, and in the blink of an eye, it was late autumn again, and Song Hongtian still did not show up.

After late autumn, a new round of cold winter is coming. Winter is always the most difficult season. Because the weather will get colder and colder, his mother will have fewer and fewer opportunities to do odd jobs. And as time goes by, his mother becomes more and more unhappy. She is trapped in contradictions, entanglements and pain day and night.

Song Yu didn't understand, but he was deeply impressed. Because his mother's eyes could speak, the entanglement and pain in her eyes when she looked at him were so clear that they overshadowed the tenderness and affection she once had.

"Mom." Song Yu called her timidly. He didn't want to see such a look again.

"Yu'er." Song's mother called him. As she stared at Song Yu for a long time, Song Yu almost lowered his head.

Finally, his mother spoke again: "Yu'er, I am sorry for you."

"No." Song Yu whispered. He whispered back that he didn't understand why his mother had to apologize to him. Although he didn't quite understand why he had to endure hunger, couldn't fight with other children, and couldn't go to school, it wasn't his mother's fault.

He retorted that he didn't want his mother to say that. Because he didn't quite understand why his mother wanted to cry when she heard him talking now. He didn't want to cry.

"Yuer, maybe I shouldn't have brought you out in the first place."

"No!" Song Yu threw himself into his mother's arms. In his mind, this sentence meant that his mother didn't want him anymore. As soon as he thought of this, Song Yu's tears kept falling.

"Silly child, why are you crying? Mom overestimated her own abilities, always thinking that she could support you on her own. Mom has never suffered any hardship or injury since she was a child. When I was a little older, and before I had a chance to experience what it feels like to grow up, I married your father at the behest of my parents. But, parenting, do you know? You really can't grow up with your father. My parenting is so good, so good..." Song's mother hugged him and sobbed. She didn't know what to do in this ruthless world.

"Yuer, I will send you back tomorrow. Your father will forgive you."

"What about you? Mother." Song Yu seldom called her mom "mother" unless he wanted to appear serious, like an adult.

"Me? No matter where you are, mom will watch you grow up well and will always love you very much."

"Does this mean that Mom will also come back?"

"Yes, parenting."

Song Yu hugged his mother's waist and felt like crying again. His mother was a liar!

"What's wrong? Parenting?"

"Mom, I'm hungry." He was indeed hungry. Even when he was holding his mother, he felt cold and hungry. It was already January 1999.

"Mom just happened to have a little money on her, so I'll go buy you something to eat. You just wait for me at home."

"Then you should come back soon, Mom."

As soon as his mother left, Song Yu's world became completely quiet. The small house they lived in was made of plaster, the walls were bare, and the bed was cold. The few books spread out on the bedside were mostly the ones he brought with him when he left home, with only two or three being the ones his mother had just bought.

Song Yu lay down in bed, opened his hands and pulled the newer books to his chest. He turned the pages laboriously, trying to divert his attention. At this time, the howling wind in the wild made the windows rustle, and even the whistling of the wind came from afar.

At six o'clock in the evening, Song Yu looked outside. Hasn't Mom come back yet? It was already dark outside. Wait five more minutes, no, three minutes. If Mom hasn't come back yet, go to the store to find her.

Song Yu put his cold hands into the quilt to warm them, and then fell asleep in a daze.

When Song Yu woke up, the bed was cold and the scene outside was already chaotic. Where's Mom? Didn't Mom come back all night? He was startled, put on his clothes, opened the door and rushed out.

Outside the gate, a layer of white snow covered everything. Not only that, a small amount of broken snow fell sporadically in the air. Song Yu took a breath, and the cold air rushed into his stomach. He wrapped his only thick cotton coat tightly and walked towards the direction of the store in his memory with difficulty, step by step.

When he turned into a narrow path, he saw a woman lying on the ground with a thin layer of snow on her body.

"Mom!" Song Yu screamed and ran over. He fell down and got up again. When he got closer, he saw a layer of scarlet ice in the pure white snow.

"Mom!" He shook her and brushed off the snow on her body.

When she heard someone calling her, Song's mother's eyes, which had been wide open, turned slightly. She was still breathing weakly. She slowly pushed out the steamed buns and bread in her arms, her hands already frozen purple.

"Mom!" Song Yu didn't know what happened to his mother, but he knew what was happening to her now. Fear and a fear he had never faced before engulfed him completely, and he trembled and roared at her with all his strength.

She did not respond to her beloved son. She went around half of the village but could not get a single grain of rice. She took a risk and stole for the first time but was caught and beaten mercilessly. Finally, she was unable to move in this winter snowy night.

She could no longer respond to her beloved son. She didn't know what sin she had committed in her life. She was born in a wealthy family and obeyed the words of her parents and matchmaker. She lived a well-behaved life, but in the end, she bravely risked her life but couldn't even support her own son.

The greatest sorrow of a woman is to marry a man who does not love her, the greatest failure is to fail to develop a strong self, and the greatest pain is to be unable to prevent her son from going astray.

She looked at Song Yu and wanted to tell him that he should never be as weak and cowardly as she was. But more importantly, he should always maintain his proud justice and noble kindness. But unfortunately, she couldn't tell Song Yu a word.

Song Yu's mother, Gao Yulan, died in a snowy place.

After burying his mother, Song Yu curled up at home for a whole day. The steamed buns and bread his mother left for him were placed on the floor not far away and remained untouched. When it was dark like yesterday, he began to slowly pack his luggage. He packed up his clothes, books, and his mother's things.

In the end, he found that there were few things belonging to his mother, except for some clothes. A photo of his mother when she was young, which he brought from home. A booklet that recorded all the expenses of the family over the past year. There were also some words written on the booklet, but all of them were related to Song Yu.

I bought a book for my child today, and he was very happy. This sentence is written on the page of 25-.

The child wants to eat chicken today, he likes it very much. Let's buy it tomorrow. This sentence is written on the page with cabbage - 2 coins, tofu - 3.

Song Yu didn't read any more and threw them all into the suitcase. Finally, he walked into the night with the steamed buns and bread. He walked to a newly built grave next to the house. Only then did Song Yu feel fortunate that his ability allowed him to build the last dignity of his mother in this world without any effort.

Song Yu said goodbye to his mother, picked up his suitcase, and walked towards the store.

There were not many people at night, and the merchant in the store was staring at the empty store in boredom. Hearing someone coming in, he turned around to look.

"Oh, it's you? Why, it's your turn to steal tonight? Hey, let me make it clear first, the wound on your mother's body was caused by her own carelessness! However, if a mother is a rat, then the son must not be a good person either." The businessman saw at a glance that the thing in his arms was exactly what the woman stole from his store last night. Seeing the way the woman was protecting it, he was kind enough to let her go.

"What are you looking at? If you look again, I'll cut you!" said the businessman, pulling out a knife from the counter and threatening him.

Song Yu stared at the knife closely. This must be the knife that killed his mother.

"You...what are you looking at?" The businessman was frightened by Song Yu's eyes. He shrank his neck and shook the knife.

Song Yu looked at the knife, no longer looked at him, then he turned and walked out.

"Wait, give your things back." The businessman chased out and said while standing in the house.

Song Yu turned his head, looked at him expressionlessly, and turned back again. This was what his mother left for him, and no one could take it away. At this moment, there was a clang, and some goods fell from the shelf. The merchant rushed back to pick it up and found that the goods were falling continuously, and the whole room was shaking.

After Song Yu walked three steps, he suddenly found that the ground had sunk in, and the deep pit had buried the merchant completely. The roof was crumbling, and even though food was falling all the time in the house behind him, Song Yu did not go back. He only carried the two things his mother had left him.

As the night deepened, Song Yu moved further and further away from Jiudu and never looked back.