Moe Academy: Resurrection Battle

I always hide myself and pretend. I will feel warm for a while because of other people's occasional care, and then that feeling will disappear in an instant. Others say, you are so proud, why are you so arrogant and proud. I think this is just your feeling! Smile, I think smile can represent everything, but it can't represent words. Others can't guess what you are thinking about. The teacher said that you have to smile when singing, and you have to communicate more when you don't sing. I am like this, silent when I should speak, but I don't know what to be silent about when I am silent... Many times I think that people should be lonely, always lonely. When I want to say something, I don't know how to start. I think about it carefully again. There is no one around me who can give me long-term warmth. I can't find that person, so I have to admit certain facts, facts about a person. I am alone, looking at the sky, walking alone. I don't know who will be with me in the next second, or maybe no one. I walk alone silently in my own world, forgetting my own existence. The world is fickle, I can't find the real me, whether it is false, whether it is lonely. The sun shines my sadness clearly. ^…………I am a fish sleeping in the deep sea, a fish that will never wake up. I had a long dream. This dream is called life, called the triviality of the world. I bought many notebooks, but I don't know what to write. Is it sighing? Messy? Forgotten? Maybe none of them, just hope to live a more realistic life. The reality is really cruel... The sky is so vast that you can't guess what is hidden in it. What is family affection, what is love, what is friendship? ? ? What do they count as? ? ? In the end, they will all be lost. I haven't cried for a long time, and I forgot that my seventeen years old is nothing. What did youth leave me? Who left me anything, a pretense. I have listened to the song "Those Flowers" for three years, but I still can't sing it with that flavor. I don't want to sing it anymore. Maybe some things will become dust after being covered for a long time, and will pass away like flowing water. Time is like silk, so it is called "year slippery", slipping too fast... You can forget everything. Anything. I should be alone again when I walk out of here. I fell that day and didn't even have the strength to get up. Fortunately, there were passers-by who gave me the courage to get up. They should laugh at me, no matter what, no one cares anyway... They said you shouldn't be too lonely. Ask yourself, are you not lonely? Do you dare to say it? People are always like this. They will only think of those who once gave them warmth and those who are almost forgotten when they are lonely. Who will I think of? No one. Who will think of me? Too hypocritical, all. From childhood to adulthood, what am I chasing and what am I looking for? Have I really got what I lost? I have been independent since I was a child. It's not learned, it should be instinct, some kind of power. I hate others holding my hand, or even touching me. It's unnatural without that habit. That feeling disgusts me. I don't think much, that's all. As for you, I know I will always keep my head down and move forward. I don't need anyone to believe in me, nor do I need anyone to pay attention to me. No one can change me. I am a flying dead leaf in late autumn. After floating, the dust will settle. Everything does not belong to me... They must be lying. There is no Boya and Zhong Ziqi in the world, and they can't be found. I think I should have a friend?