Siheyuan, I want to lie down but I become a tool

Xu Damao's trip to the countryside was not in vain. He couldn't be beaten into the hospital by his wife every now and then. Xu Damao was also a face-conscious person, and passive defense was not his style. Unfortunately, he had no chance to act secretly and cause trouble. It was said that even Liu Lan had become law-abiding recently, and for a while, there was no one to spread gossip about her.

If I get injured and let that guy Sha Zhu push me around the street for a few rounds, I will not be allowed to wear a mask when I go out. Mr. Mao can't afford to lose face in front of him.

After Xu Damao figured it out, he made up his mind and found a master to learn skills from while recuperating from his injuries. This master was not just one person, but the old men from Yuejia Village, a total of four people!

The old brothers said that they all had unique skills and were proficient in both southern boxing and northern kicking, but they were old and not well fed, so they could not show their fighting power. But after the four of them coordinated, they easily knocked down Xu Damao three times.

Although Xu Damao was longing for this, his time was limited after all, and he was dealing with his wife, so he did not learn the so-called killing skills from the old men.

The main thing is that those killing skills take three years to get started and five years to master, and Xu Damao doesn't have the time for that. After all, he can apply for a gun when he goes to the countryside.

After the old men understood the situation, they shook their heads like rattles and told him that quick success would not only be too risky, but would also easily leave hidden dangers. Xu Damao was a man who knew how to handle things, so he immediately spent ten yuan and asked the village chief to collect a table full of delicious food.

After looking at the table full of food, several old men opened and closed their eyes, and thousands of words were condensed into one sentence:

"We really have a master-disciple relationship."

Afterwards, the old men ate and went to the toilet all night. While squatting on the toilet, they discussed the possibility of teaching him Iron Head Kung Fu. Taking into account Xu Damao's height and long legs, they finally decided on two kinds of Kung Fu for him to use together, Iron Head Kung Fu and a simplified version of Tai Chi Sanda. To put it simply, it is Tai Chi for defense, and Iron Head Kung Fu is used for offense. Both of them are easy to learn but difficult to master, and the effect is as quick as the meal.

Xu Damao was immediately displeased. How could it be appropriate for him to use Iron Head Kung Fu to attack his wife? He immediately prepared a pot of boiled eggs and asked them if Iron Crotch Kung Fu would work. He also claimed that he had a foundation in this Kung Fu and might be able to develop it and make a name for himself.

When the old men learned that their new apprentice was learning Kung Fu to use it against their wives, they were filled with sorrow. If it hadn't taken them so long to finish the meal, they would have regretted it.

Finally, a few old men made up their minds and decided to teach him their secret Qigong. This thing can make you tough after practicing it. Even a sissy can become a real man after practicing it. It can increase the defense by 100%, and can eliminate 80% of the muffled groans. No matter how the opponent attacks, you can keep silent.

The key is to take a deep breath and move it throughout the body. When you get beaten, you will either be out of breath or pass out. It is impossible for you to make a sound. Use it in front of your wife. No matter how hard she tries, she won't even scream. You can make her so tired that she will doubt her life. It's definitely tough guy kung fu.

After all, the old men really don't know the lower-level kung fu like the Iron Crotch Kung Fu, so Xu Damao learned this kung fu as a second choice, and after thinking about it, he also learned the Iron Head Kung Fu.

The main reason is that the old men said that as long as one is not afraid of pain, the Iron Head Kung Fu can be mastered quickly, and that his face shape can increase the attack power and attack range of the Iron Head Kung Fu.

What the old men said was easy to understand. Xu Damao felt that he would be able to understand it as soon as he listened and practiced. After practicing not too hard, Xu Damao felt that he was now incredibly strong, as if he had been reborn. So after dinner he planned to test the results.

He sneered at his daughter-in-law's shy words like "Don't turn off the lights, I'm afraid I'm not used to it yet", and went straight to his wife with a contemptuous smile.

Faced with his wife's subconscious kick, Xu Damao's face darkened and he said to himself, "Now is the time!"

Then he took a deep breath and moved it throughout his body. His expression became calm. With the sound of impact, Xu Damao's body flew over the bed and hit the wall. Then he failed to control his expression.

Then there was a sound of people sucking in air. After hearing his wife's hasty apology, Xu Damao realized that his kung fu was not good enough and he lacked a little bit of toughness...

Cheng Pingping got up very early, looked at Xu Damao lying on the bed with empty eyes, and said softly:

"Da Mao, don't think about it. This is all my fault. Give me some time."

Xu Damao came back to his senses, touched his chest and replied shamelessly:

"I don't need to give you time. I am no longer the man I used to be. I didn't say a word when you kicked me yesterday. I am also an experienced man now. I just suddenly lost interest yesterday. Otherwise, you would have stood and talked to me...hiss..."

Probably because he was too excited or spoke too loudly and pulled the wound, Xu Damao immediately breathed a cold breath. Cheng Pingping looked at his mouth, which was harder than his chest, and shook her head helplessly. She didn't understand why men were so arrogant and arrogant in this regard. Yesterday, he was obviously unable to move due to stitches in the side, but she still carried him to bed...

Zhang Xingwang slept soundly. His wife's short legs had their advantages. At least she didn't like to kick people, and her attack range was limited.

But things were different in the yard when Xu Damao came back. Early in the morning, Xu Damao was heard provoking Sha Zhu with a weak voice, calling him a lousy cook. Sha Zhu was so angry that he wanted to hit him for the fourteenth time. Finally, he couldn't bear it anymore and cursed him out loud.

The reason why the two did not fight was very simple. Cheng Pingping was standing aside with Liu Haizhong, frowning. While Xu Damao was provoking her, he felt that it was great to have a Gongan wife. If it were in the past, he would have gone home and locked the door long ago.

Looking at Sha Zhu's helpless and furious look, Xu Damao felt hot-headed and thought that he had to act like a man today and earn his manly reputation both in and out of bed.

In the surprised eyes of Sha Zhu, he took a deep breath, then took the initiative to attack, closed his eyes and gave Sha Zhu a half-baked headbutt. Sha Zhu was also stunned and couldn't dodge and was hit on the shoulder...

With a muffled sound, the onlookers were stunned. They saw the two of them rolling on the ground again. Every time Sha Zhu tried to turn over, he would be met with Xu Damao's headbutt attack. From the perspective of Zhang Xingwang in the distance, it was Sha Zhu floundering on the ground, and Xu Damao covered his face and chased Sha Zhu, nodding frantically...

Afterwards, the two were pulled apart by the crowd who had just finished eating melons. Cheng Pingping frowned the whole time and wanted to interrupt to stop them. She thought the two were just playing a little joke and she didn't expect things to turn out like this.

She wondered if the man she found was a little childish, then thought of the purple and blue marks on Xu Damao's chest. She suppressed the thought silently, then stepped forward to cooperate with Lieutenant General Liu Hai in criticizing and educating the two men.

But the two brothers are used to it. They accept criticism but they will never repent after a nod of agreement. Liu Haizhong no longer cares about the idea of ​​ruling by inaction and loudly orders his wife to get his precious notebook.

After opening it, he read out the manuscript word for word to the two of them. His language and word choice were very accurate, but his speaking speed was a bit slow. Occasionally, there was not a single correct sentence on a page, which made Liu Haizhong very flustered.

After all, the more messy it is, the easier it is to make mistakes. When he really couldn't find a word, Liu Haizhong took the opportunity to turn the page and said a few words that leaders often use in meetings. They were all asking the two of them to speed up production and progress. The two of them were so scared that they trembled at the same time and said soft words in unison.

After scolding both of them, Liu Haizhong smacked his lips in satisfaction, thinking about his performance just now. He regretted that he was not fully prepared. He secretly decided to open a separate page in his notebook for these two brothers. After all, these two brothers love to quarrel, and they will be used sooner or later. The leader should be prepared.