Siheyuan: Five mouths waiting for food at the beginning

“Later, I sometimes wondered, what if you hadn’t been admitted to university?

You must inherit Dad's job. If Aunt Chen doesn't leave, I'll just paste matchboxes every day. I'll drop out of school and pick up scraps with Daya, and that's how we can barely get enough to eat.

When I grow up, I will definitely have to do odd jobs. Without a proper job and too many idle people at home, I might end up being single.

Even if you can get married, I guess you're the only one who can get married.

Sweating every day is the way to go for life. There is nothing to look forward to. "

Zhao Shanhe took out a cigarette and threw one to Zhao Shanhu, then said, "Hahaha, I really didn't know you were hiding in bed crying at that time, and what grades would make even dogs shake their heads? I was playful at that time and didn't study hard, do you know that?

Do you know what I was thinking at that time? In fact, I was under more pressure than you. I was the eldest child in the family. I was only 15 years old, and I had to shoulder the responsibility of supporting the family. In addition to myself, there were still five mouths to feed in the family. I was desperate at that time.

But if I was desperate and my family was going to be ruined, I would start to plan. That was the best solution I could think of at the time. It was too difficult for one person to work and support a whole family, so there had to be more people with jobs.

I'll tell you a secret. The gossip you heard about Aunt Chen being a jinx was spread by me. First of all, Aunt Chen can't leave. If she remarries, there will be no one to take care of the third child, and there will be no one to do the laundry and cooking.

So I spread the gossip that Aunt Chen was a jinx. She was married to our father for the second time. If they said she was a jinx, no one would dare to marry her. She would definitely stay. So I always felt guilty towards Aunt Chen. I treated her better than my own mother over the years.

In fact, I also thought about giving the third child away, to Yi Zhonghai. First of all, Yi Zhonghai has no children, so he will definitely want the third child. Secondly, Yi Zhonghai has a say in the compound and has the highest salary in the compound. He can take care of us both financially and in life.

But then I thought about it again and gave up this idea. Yi Zhonghai has a strong desire to control people. If the third child sends him, what if the third child grows up and doesn't recognize him while we are in the courtyard? He will definitely force us relatives away while the third child is still young.

Not only would we not be taken care of by him, but we might even be forced to become homeless by him, so I gave up the idea.

Therefore, the only way to live a good life is to go to college. Once you are admitted to college, you can become a cadre. With the salary of a college graduate, plus the job left by your father, the two of you have a salary and can easily support the family.

I was not yet an adult at the time, and you were too young, so the job had to be arranged for Aunt Chen. I was scheming Aunt Chen. After arranging the home for Aunt Chen, and with my father's pension, I had no worries.

The only thing I had to do was to get into university, so I devoted myself to studying. If a person focuses on one thing, do you think he can do it well? So I was confident that I could get into university.

I can sleep well because I have to rest well so that I can have the energy to study.

Everything went according to my original plan. Aunt Chen took care of the family and got a job. I was admitted to university successfully.

Actually, I thought you would also be admitted to university, and I would support you, and your future would be brighter. I didn't expect that you were not as hardworking as me and didn't get in.

Including my younger brothers and sisters, they all got into university, but later they dropped out of school and went to the countryside, and they missed the chance to go to university.

To be honest, I feel really sorry for Aunt Chen. She has been a widow in her twenties and has raised our children. Aunt Chen has made the greatest contribution to our good life. She has sacrificed her youth for us.

I have kept that secret in my heart for more than 20 years. I originally planned to take it with me into my coffin, but every time I see Aunt Chen, I feel extremely guilty and uncomfortable. I feel much better now that I have told you about it today."

What Zhao Shanhe said was nine-tenths true and one-tenth false. The false part was that he knew the movement would break out, but the rest was true, including the gossip about Aunt Chen's killing of her husband, which was really spread by him.

"Brother, Aunt Chen is indeed a good mother. She has replaced our biological mother since we were young, washing our clothes and cooking for us. She thinks of us first when there are good things. It would be like that if our biological mother were alive."

"That's why I feel guilty. That was her youth. I would rather she was a little bit worse when we were kids, so I don't feel guilty for plotting against her."

"I think you should talk to Aunt Chen. She probably won't blame you. From her perspective, it's right for her to stay.

It was a time of disaster and every household was hungry. Even if you didn't plan, who would marry a woman with two burdens?

Our father saved her life, and Aunt Chen will definitely repay the favor. Even if you don't plan, she will stay.

You have to know how many women chose to flee in order to save food for their families. I don't know how many people starved to death. She also brought two burdens with her. If she had fled, I think her chances of survival would have been slim.

You kept her here and let her inherit our father's job, which gave her and Daya and Erya a chance to survive. Hasn't she been grateful to you over the years?

"Brother, I think you are just thinking too much. In that era, being alive is good enough. Youth can keep you alive, but can it be used to make a living?"

"Maybe you're right. Even if I didn't plot against her, she would definitely stay. Unfortunately, I couldn't take the gamble at that time.

If I don't bet, she might not leave, but if I bet, she will definitely not leave.

I really did spread that gossip, which made her bear the stigma of being a husband-killer. You know how important this stigma is to a woman's reputation, and it will last a lifetime."

"Do you know how tormented I was when she knelt down with Daya and Erya and begged me not to chase them away? I even felt suffocated.

I will remember the feeling at that time for the rest of my life. I swore in my heart that no matter how my life would turn out, I would treat her better than my own mother."

"We are ahead of 99% of people nowadays. I think it's time for her to live her own life. I want to hire a few nannies to take care of her, but she refuses every time I mention it."

"Brother, what do you think her life should be like? How do you know that the life she is living now is what she really wants to live?

After becoming a parent, I always want to do something for my children. Aunt Chen is a conservative person. If you don't let her do anything, she will feel that she is useless to us.

On the contrary, she is taking care of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren in the future. I think this is the life she wants."

"Brother, to be honest, I always feel that you are more advanced than us and your ideas are different from ours, but in the matter of Aunt Chen, I think I am right."

"Okay, I'll listen to you. I'll have a good chat with Aunt Chen and hear what she wants from her life.

Just confess the matter to her, even if she blames me or hates me, it has already happened, no matter what the result is, I will still treat her as my own mother. "