Siheyuan: Crossing the two worlds, if you don't obey, you will be a beast

I know very well that if I cannot use this money properly and appropriately, then I will be ashamed of your kindness and good will! Therefore, whenever such thoughts come to my mind, I feel that the responsibility on my shoulders has become extremely huge, and I am almost unable to breathe. However, no matter how great the difficulties and pressures are, I will definitely grit my teeth, use all my skills, and try my best to do my best, and I will never let you down for your deep trust and high expectations of me!

Since then, my heart, which was once as hot as a burning flame, was dragged by an invisible force in an instant, and fell straight into a bottomless and dark black lake. The lake water was extremely cold, as if it had been frozen for thousands of years. Its coldness not only penetrated my thin body, but also reached deep into my bones, making me shudder. This coldness that penetrated deep into my soul filled my heart with endless despair and helplessness, as if the whole world had abandoned me in this desolate dark corner.

Since then, I have been immersed in the painful search for a way to get out of the current predicament. When the day came, when the golden sun hung high above the blue sky, spreading its warm and bright light, I was in no mood to appreciate such a beautiful scenery. I just frowned, stared into the distance absentmindedly, and my mind was running through various possible methods, trying to find a ray of hope. However, no matter how hard I thought, it seemed that I could not find the path that could lead me out of the darkness.

As night fell, when the bright stars dotted the vast night sky like gems and the bright moon radiated soft silver light, I still couldn't fall asleep peacefully. Lying on the simple bed, I tossed and turned, unable to calm down for a long time. The thoughts in my mind were like surging tides, one wave after another, constantly impacting my already fragile mental defenses with overwhelming force.

But these complicated thoughts are like a mess with no clue, intertwined and entangled, and can't be cut or sorted out. The more I try to sort them out, the deeper I will be trapped in them, and it is difficult to extricate myself. Every attempt is like getting lost in a maze, making me farther and farther away from the exit, and finally I can only sink deeper and deeper in this chaotic ocean of thoughts.

This embarrassing situation is like a towering and extremely heavy mountain in front of me, pressing down on my weak shoulders. Every time I take a step forward, I can clearly feel that the mountain is getting heavier, as if it has a force of a thousand pounds, squeezing my body heavily, making me almost suffocate, and even breathing has become extremely difficult.

However, deep in my heart, I know very clearly that if I cannot muster up the courage and bravely break through the strong shackles that have bound me for a long time, then my life will be like being stuck in a bottomless quagmire. The more I struggle and resist, the deeper I will sink until I am completely swallowed up by the dark mud and drowned. I will never be able to escape and can only sink in this endless abyss of pain, suffering torture and torment.

Thinking of this, I clenched my teeth involuntarily, clenched my hands into fists, and my nails dug deep into the flesh of my palms without feeling any pain. I silently made a firm vow in my heart: Even if the road ahead is full of thorns, bumps, and countless difficulties and obstacles; even if there are constant storms, lightning and thunder on the way forward, I will exhaust all possible methods and spare no effort to explore and find the broad road that can lead me to a bright and brilliant future. Only in this way can I break free from the current desperate predicament, regain new vitality and vigor, and harvest a new life and a beautiful tomorrow full of hope for me!

In the endless night, I felt like a lonely boat abandoned in the endless dark abyss. Lying on the cold bed, I tossed and turned, and my body seemed to be under a spell, and I couldn't find a comfortable position to sleep peacefully.

At this moment, my mind was like a pot of boiling water, with all kinds of strange thoughts and ideas rushing out one after another, densely packed and overwhelming, like a grand meteor shower across the dark night sky. However, these thoughts came and went quickly, just like the beautiful but short-lived Epiphyllum, which just bloomed in front of my eyes with charming brilliance, and disappeared without a trace in an instant.

Despite this, I was still like a possessed person, stubbornly unwilling to let go of even the slightest clue that could be the key to solving the mystery. I opened my eyes wide, concentrating on capturing those flashes of inspiration that flashed by like lightning, and tried my best to hold them firmly in my hands.

Unfortunately, things did not go as planned. No matter how hard I struggled and resisted, or how hard I worked, I was ultimately unable to piece together these fragmented and disorganized pieces of thoughts into a flawless and perfect answer. Failure after failure was like a ruthless hammer hitting my fragile heart again and again. But surprisingly, I did not become discouraged or give up on myself. Instead, my desire to realize my dream became even stronger.

In order to realize the wonderful dream that has been hidden deep in my heart for a long time, I have put in a lot of effort and hard work that ordinary people cannot imagine. For every detail and every key link in the whole plan, I will think about it again and again, carefully consider it, and tirelessly compare it again and again, just to handle everything perfectly and without any leaks.

Even in the deep night, when everything around was in a sweet dream, I was still alone at the window. Outside the window, only the dim and flickering candlelight was shining through the carved window lattice on my thin body. In this terrifyingly silent environment, I seemed to be unaware of it, and devoted myself to thinking about how to make this plan develop in a more complete direction.

Moreover, I felt like a frightened bird at every moment, my heartstrings were extremely tense, and I was immersed in an unspeakable fear. Every time I tried to take a small step forward, it felt like I was walking carefully on the edge of a towering and steep cliff. If I was a little careless, I would most likely fall into the bottomless abyss and never recover.

At the same time, this feeling is just like stepping on a layer of ice that is as thin as a cicada's wing. If I use a little more strength, this seemingly solid but actually fragile ice layer is likely to break, and then I will fall into the icy and horrifying cold water without any preparation, and be drowned and swallowed up mercilessly.