Rebirth 70: I am a Koi

Hanchuan is right, we can't give up, there is still a chance! I took a deep breath, trying to calm the surging emotions in my heart and suppress the despair.

In the days that followed, Hanchuan and I were like clockwork machines, working hard every day with our nerves tense. He often worked overtime until late at night, dragged his tired body home, and fell asleep immediately. As for me, I had to take care of the children during the day, go to the planting base, and deal with various documents and reports at night. I was often busy until the early morning before I could rest.

We are like two parallel lines, running on our own tracks, with fewer and fewer intersections. When we occasionally meet, there is only exhaustion and silence.

"Mom, what's wrong with you? Are you not feeling well?" During dinner, I was absent-mindedly picking up food for the children, but I didn't know where my thoughts were drifting.

"It's okay, Mommy is just a little tired." I forced a smile and touched my daughter's little head.

"Mom, have you and Dad had a fight recently?" My son suddenly raised his head, staring at me with his clear eyes, with a hint of worry in his tone.

My heart was shocked, and I quickly denied it: "No, your father is busy with work, and we haven't had a good chat for a long time."

"But..." The son wanted to say something, but was interrupted by Hanchuan.

"Don't talk while eating." Hanchuan scolded his son sternly, and his son stopped talking. He just lowered his head and silently ate the rice in the bowl.

I opened my mouth, wanting to say something, but in the end, said nothing.

The atmosphere at the dinner table was depressing and dull. Hanchuan and I didn't speak, and the children also became silent.

With a bang, I put down the bowl and chopsticks heavily, unable to hold back the anger in my heart any longer: "Bai Hanchuan, can't you work less overtime? The children need you, and I need you too!"

Han Chuan raised his head suddenly, his eyes were bloodshot, and his tone was cold: "Isn't it for this family that I work overtime? Do you think I am willing to work late every day?"

"You..." I was hurt by his cold tone, tears welled up in my eyes, "What's more important, work or family? Do you know that the children have been..."

Before I could finish my words, Han Chuan interrupted me rudely: "Enough, Mu Jinli, I'm tired, stop being unreasonable!"

He stood up suddenly, walked into the study without looking back, and closed the door with a bang.

I stood there, tears finally bursting out, my heart felt like it was torn apart. The children sat at the dining table, looking at me and Hanchuan in horror, not daring to say a word...

The children clearly sensed the tense atmosphere between Hanchuan and me. They stopped playing with us as usual and became silent even during meals. My son looked at me and Hanchuan several times, wanting to say something but not being able to. His clear eyes were full of anxiety and fear. My heart ached as if it had been stabbed by a needle.

When Xiaoxiao came to visit us, she also noticed the strange atmosphere between us. She pulled me aside and asked with concern: "Jinli, have you and Hanchuan had a fight recently? I see that you both look unhappy."

I forced a smile, shook my head and said, "No, we are just too busy at work and a little tired."

Xiaoxiao sighed and said earnestly, "Jinli, friction is inevitable between husband and wife, but the important thing is to communicate in time and not let conflicts accumulate. You both have children now, so you should understand and tolerate each other even more."

I know this truth very well, but seeing Hanchuan's increasingly indifferent attitude, my heart felt like it had fallen into an ice cave, cold to the bone.

That night, Hanchuan came back very late. I lay in bed, listening to his tired footsteps, feeling mixed emotions. After washing up, he lay down with his back to me, saying nothing.

I couldn't bear it any longer, so I turned over and hugged him, choking and saying, "Hanchuan, can we talk about it? We can't go on like this."

He was silent for a moment, then said in a cold tone, "I'm very tired. Let's talk about it tomorrow."

My tears burst out instantly, I let go of his hand weakly, turned around, faced away from him, and my tears soaked the pillowcase.

We just sat there, with our backs to each other, in silence, as if there was an unbridgeable gap between us.

The next day, I got up early, prepared breakfast for the children, and sent them to school. Hanchuan was still cold and left in a hurry after breakfast without even saying goodbye.

I stood at the window, watching his departing back, my heart filled with confusion and pain.

"We..." I muttered to myself, but I didn't know how to continue. Xiaoxiao's words kept echoing in my ears. Husbands and wives should communicate in time and not let conflicts accumulate. However, looking at Hanchuan who was becoming increasingly indifferent, how could I speak to melt the thick ice between us?

In the evening, when the children came back from school, the house became a little lively. My son Xiaobao walked up to me cautiously, tugged at the corner of my clothes, raised his little face and asked, "Mom, did you and Dad have a fight? The teacher said that only when Mom and Dad are well, can we be happy."

My daughter Xiaobei also came up to me, hugged me gently, and said in a baby voice: "Mom, don't be angry with Dad. Dad works too hard."

The children's understanding and thoughtfulness made me feel even more uncomfortable. I held back my tears and said to them with a smile: "Mom and Dad are not arguing, they are just too busy with work recently. It will be fine after a while."

The children nodded as if they understood, but I knew they were just comforting me.

At night, Hanchuan came back very late. I lay on the bed, listening to his tired footsteps, but I didn't take the initiative to hug him like I did yesterday. After he finished washing up, he lay down directly, with his back to me, without saying a word.

The room was silent, with only the ticking of the wall clock, as if reminding us that time was passing by and the distance between us was growing larger and larger.

I couldn't stand this depressing atmosphere any longer, so I got up, put on a coat, and went to the garden alone.

It was late at night, and the garden was quiet, with only the dim light of the street lamp in the distance, which made my shadow particularly slender. I looked up at the starry sky, and my mind was filled with thoughts.

Once upon a time, Hanchuan and I were like the stars in the sky, attracted to each other, relied on each other, and weaved our own happiness together. But when did we gradually lose the warmth and sweetness of the past and become so strange and alienated?

"What on earth are we going to do..." I muttered to myself, feeling extremely confused.

A gust of night wind blew by, and I couldn't help shivering. Just then, I heard a slight sound of footsteps behind me...