Marvel crosses Star Wars, and everyone attacks the galaxy

Chapter 320 Barriss Offee's Confusion

Inside the miraculously intact Jedi library within the temple, a Mirialan Jedi Padawan sat alone at a table, absentmindedly reading material that frankly she wasn't really paying attention to.

She had been there most of the day, really, ever since she had returned from the brutal battle at Jabimu.

Over the past few days, Barriss Offee had been experiencing an inner conflict she couldn't quite define.

What she really hoped to understand through this was the conflict of these "feelings" that had created a storm within her that she had not been able to calm since Jabimu.

Thinking of that "thing", she sighed haggardly and buried her face deeply in her hands.

Barris sat there, motionless, unaware that anyone was approaching her until she heard the soft scraping of the chair next to her.

She looked away from her hands and saw that the person sitting next to her was none other than her close friend Ahsoka Tano.

"I've been looking for you," Ahsoka said with a hint of irritation.

Miriam Padawan didn't respond immediately, watching in silence as Ahsoka sat down.

"Is something wrong?" Barris asked softly.

"Besides everything that happened in the past week?" Ahsoka asked back. "No, not really."

Ahsoka leaned against the table, arms crossed, chin resting on it.

"Master Unduli is looking for you, too." Ahsoka said softly, causing Barriss to shudder slightly. "She seemed worried about you."

"She is?" Barris asked her friend and herself quietly. "I must apologize to her."

"You should," Ahsoka said. "But first you tell me what's wrong with you."

"Ok?"

"You're obviously troubled by something," her friend pointed out. "It's written on your face. In fact, I've hardly ever seen you like this.

Barris opened her mouth to fire back at her fellow Padawan, but Tano continued to speak to herself.

"When I saw you, I found you to be in a state of great distress and distress," Ahsoka finished. "Come on, Barriss. What's wrong? You can talk to me, you know."

Instead of answering immediately, Padawan turned back to the table where she was sitting and placed her arms on it, interlacing her fingers together.

She sighed tiredly, closing her eyes and slumping her shoulders slightly.

“I…I’m conflicted.

Ahsoka raised an eyebrow. "Conflict? What's wrong?

“It’s…it’s really complicated.

"How complicated can it be, right?"

Barris shook his head. "It makes me question things."

Ahsoka leaned forward, now very interested in what her friend was saying.

Ahsoka asked, and Barriss let out an unusual sound of anger.

"Everything." Barriss crossed his arms now, with an uncertain look on his face. "I never knew how to fix this. I've thought about it every day since Jabimu, and it keeps me up at night."

"That would explain the bags under your eyes." Ahsoka muttered, causing Barriss to turn around and give her an apologetic look. "Yeah, yeah, sorry, that's not what I meant."

"Ahsoka..." Barriss said softly. "What should I do?"

"It might help to at least get someone else's opinion." Ahsoka said. "So speak up. Barriss, what is it that's bothering you?

Barris was silent again, not answering immediately, as she seemed to be thinking about how exactly she wanted to answer the question.

"Something happened in Jabimu... No..." Aoife scrunched up her face. "It's been going on for a long time. I just don't fully understand it.

"What's going on? How come I didn't notice it before?" Ahsoka asked, moving her seat closer to her friend. "Is it... like a feeling? A feeling in the Force?

"That was..." Barriss was looking down at her legs now. "Certain thoughts...that led to certain feelings I never thought about..."

This was off-putting to Ahsoka Tano, to say the least. Seeing her usually calm and at ease friend in this state made her extremely worried.

"continue......"

"For the past few days, I have been looking through the archives hoping that it will provide some form of answers. Barris's expression then changed to one of frustration. "But this only leaves me with more confusion! I can't suppress these feelings easily because they have been stirring within me for so long. I just can't do it.

Ahsoka could tell that what was going through Barriss's mind made her very uneasy. She reached out and took her hand, speaking calmly.

"What is it, Barriss?" Ahsoka's voice barely rose above a whisper. "What is going on?"

Her friend did not respond.

"Please, Barriss, you have to tell me." Ahsoka almost begged. "I don't like seeing you like this. What can I do to help? It's just..."

"It's Peter."

Ahsoka flinched at the mention of their currently injured friend.

"Peter?" Ahsoka said in a confused tone. "What does this have to do with him?"

"It... when I thought about it more, the feeling might have started with him. But I didn't think much about it. Until Jabimu.

"And then what happened?"

Barris swallowed and looked away from her friend.

She trembled, holding Ahsoka's hand and the fabric of her robe tightly.

"Seeing him hurt." Barris' voice trembled.

This put Ahsoka in a dilemma. "And then?

"Ahsoka... please don't tell anyone." Barriss asked suddenly. "Please, before I tell you, you have to swear that you won't tell anyone. Not even your Master."

This really wasn't what Ahsoka had expected, when she'd found her friend so down in the library. But now, she knew exactly how much her friend needed this reassurance, so she nodded slowly.

"I promise." Ahsoka said in a reassuring tone, placing her free hand on Barriss's shoulder. "This will remain between the two of us."

Barris took a moment to collect himself.

"I was on Jabimu when I encountered two people, Mark and Cas, who were doing something I didn't expect," Barris said. "It was against the code of Jedi teachings."

"They broke the Jedi Code?" Ahsoka asked with a hint of surprise.

"A way that your maverick Master wouldn't even do," Barriss said, surprising Ahsoka at the statement.

"What are they doing?" Ahsoka asked, now completely enthralled by Barriss's story.

“They said things to me that upset me and made me question my feelings.

"What did they say?" Ahsoka asked confused.

Barris nodded shakily. “Before that, I was startled…when I saw them…together.

Ahsoka blinked in confusion. "Together? I don't understand you—"

"Together, together," Barris clarified. "They hugged each other."

"Ouch!" Ahsoka realized. "Together... like in-?

"They told me they loved each other," Barriss revealed. "When the war was over, they would leave the Jedi Order and be together."

Ahsoka was at a loss for words when she heard this.

Leaving the samurai? For... for love?

The thought itself never crossed her mind.

She continued to focus as Barris continued to speak.

"I'm worried about Peter, and I'm worried about you." Ahsoka felt her friend gently squeeze her hand again. "I'm starting to really care about both of you, and it scares me... about losing you.

She thought back to the state she saw Peter in after the confrontation with Ultron. It almost broke her heart to see him in that state. So fragile... Even though he was okay, for her, Padawan was scared that he would die.

"During this time back here, I started thinking more about what happened between us. He was always there for us and did everything he could to protect us.

Skywalker's Padawan was silent, thinking back to what Barriss had said.

"Ahsoka..." Barriss looked up to meet her friend's eyes. "When you saw Peter like that on Jabiym...how did you feel?

The question caused Ahsoka to freeze momentarily as she saw her friend being beaten nearly to death…

She immediately shook her head, trying to erase the memory, but it remained.

Worse still, the wanton feeling came over her like a tidal wave at the thought of seeing someone she was so close to die like this.

She... she couldn't even understand.

"I was terrified," Ahsoka finally confided, seemingly more to herself than to her friend. "To see Peter like that..."

Unconsciously, the image of her beaten friend flashed through her mind. After a moment, she imagined her Master badly injured on the planet Maridon, her 501st Legion clones dying from the Blue Shadow virus, and...

"Barriss...I don't-"

"Ahsoka, I don't know either, but I don't think avoiding this is going to help either of us." Barriss then took her friend's hand in her own. "We...we need to figure out what this really means for both of us. I can't just sit here and dwell on this.

“But what about our Masters? Don’t they want us to ignore things like this and focus on what’s happening right now?

"Will they?"

"I-I-I..." Ahsoka stammered. "I'm not sure-"

"Look... I know this may not be traditional, but I... may have to, need to talk to some people who can help us. This person... is not affiliated with the Order. A non-judgmental man. You can come with me, too.

Ahsoka frowned, looking down at their clasped hands. “Barriss… I’m scared. I don’t know this.

She looked up at her fellow Padawan, stunned at the kind smile she received.

“I know,” Barris whispered. “I’ve realized this before. I was scared, too. I’ve never felt this way before, but…but I know I’m not the only one.

Barris's smile widened now.

"I'm happy now..." she whispered. "I'm so confused about this, but... I know why I'm facing this confusion. But talking to you. Talking to my friend, it's... it helps to clarify some things. I'm not sure what will happen by doing this, but I know I have to figure this out. I do have feelings for him. Something deeper than friendship. It hurt when I saw him saving us again..."

A brief silence fell on the two of them.

“So…what do you think this means, Barris?

Her friend just shook her head.

"I think I'll be able to figure that out when I see Peter again," Miriam Padawan said, glancing down at their clasped hands. "If not, I'll talk to the Avengers. I'll want to know what this means. If they don't, then I'll continue to look for answers elsewhere. This war and meeting them has made me realize that even with the knowledge of the Jedi Order, there is still a lot to learn. For what we're dealing with, it feels like we need to go beyond what we know to solve this problem."

Ahsoka couldn't help herself. "Where is the cool and collected Barriss I knew? This sounds a lot more reckless.

"Where do you think I learned that from?"

"Barris!" Tano screamed with a hint of offense.

Miriam Padawan just laughed loudly now and gave Ahsoka a warm hug, which surprised Ahsoka because Barriss was usually reserved and calm.

"Thank you, Tano." Barriss whispered, hugging her friend tightly. "Thank you."

Ahsoka didn't know how to respond, so she let her instincts kick in. She hugged Barriss as well.

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