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Chapter 111 No matter how many times you try, your choice is still not me

"If I hadn't been so willful and impulsive, and hadn't started an online romance that led to nothing, or if I had made it clear earlier about our relationship, or even rejected it directly, then none of this would have happened!"

"That way, it won't hurt your heart and make you become like that. So, if I am wrong, I am willing to admit it."

"I was young and ignorant at that time, and I failed you. I'm sorry."

Seeing Ye Yaer, who looked sincere and choked up as she spoke, Qin Chuyu was just slightly stunned, then smiled and said, "This is the first time I've seen someone rush to admit their mistakes in this kind of thing instead of just trying to clear off the guilt."

Ye Yaer spread her hands and said with a smile: "Because someone told me that it is not shameful to admit one's mistakes. What is shameful is to know one's mistakes but not admit them and not correct them. Even Cao Mengde, who was known for knowing his mistakes but not admitting them, didn't he secretly correct them after knowing his mistakes?"

"I am not Cao Mengde, so I can know my mistakes, admit them, and correct them."

“Sometimes, knowing one’s mistakes, admitting them, and correcting them requires a lot of courage, and it is not necessarily cowardice or fear to admit one’s mistakes and correct them.”

Qin Chuyu raised his head and nodded: "It seems that I am not the only one who has changed in these five years."

"Yeah, it's been five years. Everyone changes, and I'm no exception. If it were five years ago, I would never have said something like this."

Ye Yaer's eyes suddenly turned red, and she said, "I have often wondered in the past five years, if I hadn't made mistakes and been so willful, would we have been together? Would we have lived the kind of ordinary and beautiful life you once told me about?"

Qin Chuyu propped up his cheek with one hand and said, "Unfortunately, there is no if. Some things are done and done. What should be in the past should be in the past. Why bother about the past?"

"But I can't let it go!"

Ye Yaer took a deep breath and said, "I have been thinking about letting go for the past few years, but the more I think about letting go, the harder it is for me to let go! I lost that boy who had eyes only for me. I never thought that I would lose you just by having a relationship that was not necessary at all!"

"I regret it! I really regret it! I have regretted my original choice every moment in the past five years!"

"Fortunately, I still have a chance to make amends. I still have another chance to make up for my regrets."

Ye Yaer looked at Qin Chuyu in front of her, as if she had made some kind of decision, and said: "Didn't you say before that as long as I accept those two children, you can come back to me? I went back and thought about it for a long time, and I think I can accept your two children. I just hope that you can give me a chance, a chance to make up for my regrets, and let me go back to the past, okay?"

"No, I'm not interested." Qin Chuyu said decisively without thinking.

Ye Yaer was stunned by his decisive refusal.

Logically, based on her understanding of Qin Chuyu, even if he was hard-hearted and had a grudge against her, as long as she was willing to admit her mistakes and give in, he would relent and become gentle again.

He is that kind of person, easily soft-hearted and likes to consider things from other people's perspectives, so that he can understand other people's feelings and thoughts, and is more likely to forgive others.

This is his nature. Ye Yaer has known it for several years. She also knows that this kind of personality will cause great harm to his heart, but she has never told him.

It was because in the past, no matter what mistakes she made, he would forgive her. She liked the feeling of making a mistake, then having him forgive her, and then having him comfort her in return.

Except for the time when I was in love, I didn't think of telling him, but told someone else first.

Ye Yaer thought that as long as he apologized first, given his personality, even if they couldn't get back together, he would at least give her a chance.

As long as there is a little chance, Ye Yaer is confident that with her understanding of Qin Chuyu, she has the ability to win Qin Chuyu's heart back to her side.

Ye Yaer was caught off guard by his words and asked quickly, "Don't you want to make up for our previous regrets? Now that you are back, I don't mind you having a child. We can slowly start our previous life again. I can even give up everything for you!"

"no need."

Qin Chuyu exhaled slightly and said, "Regrets are the norm in life. It is impossible for a person to have everything go his way in life. A life with regrets is perfect. Moreover, I don't think that the past is a regret."

"What do you mean?" Ye Yaer suddenly felt a vague sense of uneasiness rising in her heart.

Qin Chuyu said calmly: "Although that incident did bother me for a long time and made me degenerate for a while, it also made me see a lot of things clearly. At that time, I also knew that liking someone does not mean you have to be together. Just because I like you, it doesn't mean you have to like me or be with me. This is unreasonable."

"So I can think clearly. My liking for you before was my business. If you don't like me, or if you don't want to like me, that's your fault. I'm self-indulgent and self-righteous. I'm trapped in the shackles I set for myself and can't let go. That's because I'm stupid. It's my fault. You can't blame me."

"Besides, if my liking and my self-righteousness bother you, it's actually my fault."

"So, that incident is not my regret. It taught me many lessons, one of which is that liking someone is never a one-person thing. A person's liking someone is not really liking someone after all. It's just a secret crush. To put it bluntly, it was just my own fantasy."

Qin Chuyu had said this, how could Ye Yaer not understand what he meant?

She couldn't sit still any longer, her breathing suddenly became rapid, and she quickly explained, "No, I'm not! I, I liked you at first, I just, I, I, I, I..."

"Well, it doesn't matter whether you liked me at the beginning or not."

Qin Chuyu: "The important thing is, I don't like you now, and I don't want to repeat the past. The past is over. We can be colleagues or classmates in the future, but it will never be the kind of relationship between a man and a woman."

Ye Yaer clenched her fists, lowered her eyebrows, and said, "You can't even be friends with me, right?"

"No need for that. It's nice to be old classmates. That's it."

After saying that, Qin Chuyu stood up, turned around and was about to leave.

No one knows better than him that if he gives the other party a chance and is a little soft-hearted in this matter, if the other party is like he was before and is stubborn about this matter, he will never get over it.

Since you want to say goodbye to the past, be decisive. Don't have any hope of luck, and don't give her any psychological comfort, otherwise it will be easy to keep the connection and cause endless trouble.

Unless he still wants to be with her.

"Is it because of her?"

Ye Yaer suddenly asked, "Is it because of your child's mother? Even if she abandoned you, hurt you, and even because of her you couldn't go to college, would you rather forgive such a person than give me another chance?"

Qin Chuyu looked at Ye Yaer, whose face had gradually become gloomy and whose voice had become a little hoarse.

Qin Chuyu said without any hesitation: "I have not forgiven her. She abandoned me and hurt me. Even if she wants to get me back, she has to pay a price. Besides, whether I agree, am willing, forgive or not, that is my business."

"But I won't blame her for not being able to go to college, because I know it's not her fault that I can't go to college. Or, I should say, I shouldn't blame her for everything. Let's put one thing at a time."

"As for you..."

"If you really can't let it go and you really know you were wrong, you won't blame it all on your impulsiveness and willfulness, because every choice you make is not the result of impulse or willfulness, but the result of careful consideration."

"So, you just said that if you could go back to the past, you would choose me. That's impossible. Even if you could go back to the past and do it again a hundred or a thousand times, without the God's perspective..."

"You still won't choose me."