Reborn as a short-lived loli who can only live for three years

“I want the seeds I sow to blossom and bear fruit.”

It seemed that something had changed since this sentence.

……

……

Chu Yu has a secret.

The secret that no one knew, except for her own, was that she was actually a very bad person.

She is inferior and sensitive, and her jealous heart makes her full of thorns.

She envied and hated every child who was better than her. Jealousy kept her awake, drove her to work twice as hard, and pushed her to become stronger.

Once in the orphanage, Wan Ye Xi was the person she hated the most.

They were still very young at that time, and Chu Yu was not good at hiding her emotions, so she always showed obvious hostility, targeting them everywhere, competing with them everywhere, and was defeated repeatedly.

Whether it was the mastery of knowledge, the talent of magic, or the talent of fighting, she was not as good as Wan Ye Xi in any of them. No matter how hard she tried, even if she tried her best, Wan Ye Xi would always stand at a higher place, looking down at her, as if she was looking at a perpetual loser.

She couldn't sleep.

She hated Wan Yexi, this kid who was one year younger than her but better than her in every way.

The crazy jealousy even made her want to kill.

But even if she really rushed towards Wan Ye Xi with murderous intentions, she would still be knocked to the ground. Wan Ye easily resolved her attack full of flaws and did not even treat this as a life-and-death battle.

Humiliation, hatred, jealousy, inferiority, and the depressed mood made it difficult for her to breathe and unable to sleep.

……

Until one day, the beloved dean gave Chu Yu a weapon that belonged to her alone.

It was as handsome as the Grim Reaper's scythe, dark and cold, and not at all suitable for her who was weak and powerless.

The dean said that this was a gift that would help her sleep peacefully.

But as a weapon, it is still too weak. It needs to be kept by Chu Yu and nourished day and night to become strong.

Just like a seed, it needs to be nurtured slowly before it can take root and sprout.

So, Chu Yu carefully placed it in his own shadow, day and night, year after year.

……

And since then, Chu Yu really got a good sleep.

No matter how humiliating, jealous, or sad she felt that day, once night came, all her negative emotions disappeared like light.

It was also from then on that she learned to hide her emotions.

Her life was nothing but studying, studying, training, training, and endless training.

She was appreciated by Wan Yexi.

She became friends with Wan Ye Xi.

Her original jealousy was replaced by inferiority, and she had recognized the fact that she would never be able to compare to Wan Ye Xi.

Although these emotions will disappear at night, inferiority is much better than jealousy. At least, she no longer regards Wan Ye Xi as an enemy. They are friends. They can work together and cooperate to defeat all those who are better or worse than her.

Wan Ye Xi is her only friend.

Together, the two of them are invincible.

She humbly believed that they would cherish each other and would never betray each other.

Apart from this, there was no one else in Chu Yu's eyes.

……

But the appearance of Ivy shattered Chu Yu's fantasy.

……

On the day of the fighting game, the dean placed a beacon in his office. He hoped that Chu Yu could get it successfully and become one of the five winners of the game.

Chu Yu did not take it directly. She stubbornly looked for other beacons, wanting to prove that she was not that weak.

So, she met Ivy, this kid who had no sense of existence and almost always skipped classes.

They were eyeing the same beacon, and if they were to fight for it, Chu Yu couldn't imagine losing.

However, Ivy sensed her position instantly and blocked her angry attack.

Then, Wanyexi appeared and interrupted their fight. Moreover, Wanyexi chose to stand on Ivy's side...

The situation was beyond her understanding. Chu Yu maintained her apparent calmness, but hid in the dean's office almost in a panic, guarding the beacon prepared for her until the moment before the end of the game.

From that moment on, the feeling called jealousy, which had not appeared for a long time, reappeared.

……

The rest of the story is very simple.

The world outside the orphanage is so vast, and Chu Yu has met many people who are stronger and smarter than her, but she puts almost all of her conflicting emotions on Ivy.

Even if the other party was a child several years younger than her, or even far inferior in strength to her, she would still...

Hate Evie.

……

Maybe it was because Ivy was always full of things on his mind, but never talked to her.

Maybe it was because Ivy had ties and secrets with everyone except her.

Ivy can expressively say that Tokieda Yume and Yokien are bad people, can dependably call Manyo Yui her sister, and can become best friends with Hotaru again...

But I only maintain a normal relationship with her.

Or maybe it was Ivy’s talent that made her look as small as an ant.

Chu Yu knew that his magic power had almost reached its limit.

But every day, every time they met, Ivy's magic power grew stronger little by little, as if there was no end, until now... it had almost grown to be on par with her.

She had tried her best to reach the fifth level, but Ivy was able to reach it so quickly...

She hated Evie, but she liked Evie.

I like the way Ivy occasionally calls her Sister Chuyu after she realizes the problem with the address; I like the way Ivy occasionally takes the initiative to hold her hand; I like the way Ivy stands beside her and looks up at her.

Ivy knew in advance that there was no solution to the Blue Flower, so she worked hard to learn potions and find a solution.

Ivy knew their fate in advance and kept running to save them.

Ivy never gave up despite the constant pressure from the enemy.

And then... after her unexpected absence that indirectly led to the death of Hotaru Yata, Ivy didn't express any blame for her...

She liked them all very much.

Every day, the negative emotions will disappear, and the feelings of liking seem to increase more than those of disliking.

Hate will disappear, like will accumulate.

Gradually, Chu Yu no longer knew what kind of mood he was in.

Did she really hate Evie?

Maybe she just wanted to get Ivy's attention, become Ivy's helper, and become an irreplaceable person.

Maybe she just hated herself.

I hate myself for wanting more attention and favor, but never daring to take the initiative to give it. I can only ask for more charity from others... for my humble self.

She hated herself for always being jealous of others, hated her narrow-mindedness, hated herself for always pretending to be great... to cover up her mediocrity, and also hated her friends who always thought she was great.

Only she knew how bad she was.

She is a terrible person.

She became unable to sleep again.

Then, the dean appeared again and said:

"The seed has matured, and it has become an excellent weapon."

"Let it express all your unfulfilled emotions."

Then, all those disappeared emotions seemed to return to her heart in an instant.

Inferiority, jealousy, pain, resentment, sadness, disgust, hatred! Want to self-destruct!

All the moods...

All of it, drowning her.

She no longer felt conflicted. She hated herself so much and yet hated everyone.

Don't imagine her to be so good anymore, because that will burn her like the scorching sun.

……

Now, she can finally say that.

Chu Yu took a deep breath. The Grim Reaper's scythe was coldly placed across Ivy's throat, reflecting her confused and helpless face.

"From the first time I saw you—"

"I just hate you."

"Evie."