Lingering to the Bone: The President's Way of Chasing His Wife

Times have changed, and I always feel that I can let go of all the things that I couldn't let go of before. I don't know if it's a change of mood or a change of position?

My love for you has never changed, but your heart for me has long since disappeared. You have not treated me with the best state, so how can I treat you?

Ran Zhihan gradually felt that her whole body was starting to feel uncomfortable, but he didn't know how to tell her husband that he could only bear all the pressure in silence, and he was there alone to overcome the pain. Torture and all the people are still arguing endlessly because of a small matter at home. He really doesn't understand what he should do as a daughter-in-law. He has given up a lot this time, and he no longer cares about the relationship between them. Why are they still unwilling to recognize their mistakes, and still unwilling to let go of their prejudices in each other's hearts. What good is it for each of them if they insist on arguing there?

Zhang Yichen was always thinking about how he would feel if he left him one day, and if something happened to his grandfather there one day, then his grandson would leave in the end What kind of road he will take, he can't predetermine. What he fears most in his heart is losing his closest relatives. He is afraid that he will lose old man Zhang.

Sometimes when you think about it slowly, losing may not be the most terrible thing. What is terrible is that she is obviously by your side, but in order to get revenge on you, she is not you in her heart and is still lingering with others.

Zhang Zhentian sees his son's worried look every day. How can his inner world not be uncomfortable, but he has no choice. He knows what his son's deepest worries are, and as a father, he has no way to replace him. To share, as a father, you should wait here silently, you should not pursue all the past things, you should live happily, and don't take all the faults on yourself, that will only make you live happily Very tired.

"Yichen, my parents can tell what you are thinking just by looking at your expression, no matter what kind of thoughts you have in your heart, but please remember that family members can never be separated, no matter how much you have Hate, Mom and Dad hope that we will come back to this home and block your eyes in front of your eyes, but since we have come back, please try to accept us, I believe we will treat you sincerely, we The sincerity is not based on words, it is proved by actions. We will try our best to make up for the harm we caused you in the past. If there is no way to make up for it, let us be father and son again in the next life. At that time, I must love you well. Give you double compensation for everything that is owed to you in this life!

Maybe you don't believe in the world at all, but every time we are together, there is a kind of resistance deep in your heart, and you are very clear in your heart, just like myself, I have no way to put Forget all the mistakes, because I know it is really hard to forget the past, unless there is a problem with your brain, unless you really have amnesia!

Every child has pressure deep in his heart. No matter how big or small the pressure is, you must always look forward to life. You can't just hide from the pressure you have to face, because you can't hide from it, everyone Everyone has their own way to go, no matter how far or how far the journey is, everyone will be under different pressures, why should they let their minds know that they can be very happy because of those pressures, but because of some small things, they let their own life I became so irritable, and that would drive a person crazy step by step. If you really drive yourself crazy, what will my grandpa do?what should we do?When you do things, you should also consider the feelings of us people. Don’t treat us as saints. We can’t be indifferent. We always love our children sincerely. This family stays with you, but we still love you, and we will still silently guard you behind you, because you are my son, and my only son is the greatest pride in my life! "

"Father, I have actually thought about it many times. Can people's hearts really be changed? I use my own heart to exchange other people's sincerity for me, but when others hurt me, I realized that people's hearts can't be changed at all. That being the case, why should I be passionate?

Even if I take others seriously, in their eyes, I am nothing, I am just a person who can throw away casually, no one cares about my feelings!

Dad, in fact, sometimes I understand better than anyone else what kind of feeling it is. That kind of feeling is simply a pain in the heart. No one will care about you. He will only know what you have experienced. Look forward, because in his eyes you are nothing, you are not the person he cares about most at all, he can abandon you casually, you think such a person lives in this world What's the point? Sometimes I simply don't understand what is the purpose of people living in this world?

Living is so painful, so tiring, you will never get what you want, no matter how much effort you put in, no matter what you have experienced in your life, no one cares about how you feel, he He will only follow his heart, he will hurt you if he wants to hurt you, because he doesn't have you in his heart, he can hurt you casually, this kind of feeling, what do you think is alive in this world? What kind of meaning?I really don't understand why I chose such an ending. I pulled out the depths of my heart to show others time and time again, but what was the result I got in the end? Others ignored me time and time again. My sincerity is like a donkey's liver and lungs, and they treat all my feelings as bubbles again and again, don't I mean nothing in their eyes?

You are my father, in fact, you understand better than anyone else in your heart, how much pain is in my heart, how difficult it is for me to get to where I am today step by step, all I have achieved is all on my own I got it through hard work, but what was the result I got in exchange?I took it step by step, step by step, it was just a written mark, how much blood I shed, how many tears I shed, how much pain I suffered, how much torture I went through, and the devil-like training I have never cried, because I know that even if I cry, no one will care about me because crying can't solve any problems, even if I cry until the sky is dark, who will care what I have experienced in the depths of my heart, everyone What you want is not like this at all. Never compare people’s hearts with others, because people’s hearts are incomparable. Even if you dig out your own heart and show it to him, it’s just your childish behavior in his eyes. He won't look at your willfulness, because deep in his heart, your heart is nothing that you can't compare to what she wants.In his eyes, only interests are the longest.

I didn't understand what that sentence meant until now. There are no eternal friends in this world, only eternal interests. The so-called friends are nothing in front of interests, because he doesn't care about these things at all. The only thing I care about is money, and money can trump everything else. Money can make ghosts work. If this is the case, then we earn so much money, whether it is for ourselves or for others in the end, I can't understand why I am doing this now, I do What is the purpose of every decision I make? Everything I bring is brought to the person I love the most.What kind of damage?I never thought about the consequences of what I did, because deep down in my heart, as long as my family is happy, it is more important to me than anything else, and now I see my Grandpa is in such pain, is it really not uncomfortable in the depths of my heart?It's not that I have nothing to do, because you are my parents, even if you have done too many things to grandpa, as a junior, I don't have any qualifications to point and point at what you have done!

But you are my father, there are some things I should tell you as a son, no matter what, you should take good care of grandpa, don’t call him your father, even if he has not been by your side for so many years. , never gave you love, but she gave me all the love for you, which proves that he still really loves you as a son deep in his heart, why you can never see what he received as a father What about all the pain and suffering?What he wants is not these at all. For him, as long as he can be happy, happy, as long as his son can be happy, she thinks it is more important than anything else, but your worldview does not include him at all.

In the past, no matter what the reasons were, you and your mother chose to abandon me, grandpa, the whole family, and the interests of the whole family. I will not say anything to you now, because I don’t think there is any That is necessary, there are some things you should make your own decisions, that is your right, I have no right to interfere with the mistakes you have made in the past, since you have chosen to return to this home now, it proves that Deep down in your heart, you still really want to live with your family members, so don’t do anything to make grandpa sad, don’t make her cry anymore, I know you are just going to apologize to grandpa, what I said Sometimes it may be a bit too much, but I can't help it.

In the depths of my heart, as parents, you are not as important to me as my grandfather, because my grandfather gave me everything, and it is he who has cultivated me into a talent, and made me achieve what I am today, no matter what No matter what the reason is, you have no reason to hurt her. Whoever dares to hurt grandpa is tantamount to the end of being my enemy and my enemy. I want to wipe out all the enemies who are my enemies, no matter who they are I will do whatever it takes to achieve my goal.I will do whatever it takes, I have become insensitive now, I will not stand by and let others hurt us like I used to.

No one knows all the pain we have gone through, and after every heart-piercing cry, who can know what we have gone through, driving ourselves crazy again and again, driving ourselves to a dead end, In the end, you get nothing, because in your own eyes, no matter what you do, others will not get it at all, and others will not care. Even if you give everything, so what?Deep in his heart you are nothing, maybe everyone is like this, when he has it, he will choose to hurt again and again, and he will not know until he really loses it, he should cherish that person, But all the regrets are useless at all, not everyone can forgive you, because everyone ends up with a different ending, even if you give everything, so what, even if you sincerely want to keep others in you What can you do around you? When others don't care about you at all, they don't care what you have experienced. He will only follow his heart. "

Xia Jing, listening to her son say these words to her husband, he felt really ashamed in those depths, what did he do as a mother for so many years to make his son become what he is now? You seem to be so ruthless and merciless in doing anything, don't you think you are nothing in the eyes of your own son as a mother?Can it hurt casually?In the eyes of my son, I, as a mother, has now become just an inhuman module. I casually abandoned my son in their eyes. I am nothing, maybe I am the only one. Knowing that the culprit is himself who made all this what it is now, who can blame others?

"Yichen, I feel that as a mother, I am really ashamed of you, but I have told you more than once about some things. You can't blame your father for this matter, because he is innocent at all, and he is also innocent. I don’t want this kind of thing to happen to us. What he wants is that our family can live a stable life. Everything is caused by me. Why do you want to force you again and again? Father came to make any promises to you, and any apology would have no effect at all. He has sincerely repented. He has sincerely wanted to come to this family and why you people just can’t see him forever. Your remorse?

Now in your eyes, I can't see your respect for us as parents at all. You never thought about keeping us in your family, because all you want is your own heart It’s just a bit of torture in the depths, because you feel that the most important thing is that you can live happily. In the past, we gave you a lot of harm. I understand that the harm is also, and it is impossible to resolve it with a few words casually, but What I want is not such an ending at all, I just want everyone to be at ease.

I even thought, if one day I leave this world, will you let go of your prejudice against your father, if one day I really have no way to continue living here, will you have a slightly different opinion of your father? Be a little better, everything is caused by my fault, why did you blame all the faults on your father, you never cared about your father's inner thoughts, have you ever thought about him How much does he love you in his heart when he is interrogated by his son again and again? As a son, every time he talks to him, he is like a prisoner. How can he feel better in his heart, but he chooses to do nothing. Say, because he respects you, respects every decision you make and respects every word you say, it is precisely because of this, then shouldn't you reflect on whether your actions are right or wrong?He is your father, not your prisoner, and this is not a prison. This is a warm family. If a family can only live like a prison, then returning to this family is better than staying in a prison. Inside a prison At least some of them can continue to live if they have flesh. At least they won’t be forced to continue interrogating themselves like a prisoner all the time. You keep doing this again and again.

Did you ever think about how your father felt when you did this?Have you thought about all the public opinion and pressure he will face after going through all this?You haven't thought about it at all, because what you care about deep down in your heart is not these things at all, what you care about is only money and benefits, just like what you said yourself, the human heart is incomparable when you give your heart to your father You choose not to trust your father because all you believe in is money and you don’t believe that your family will be sincere to you because you are already afraid, just because of the mistake we made to you once, you called us 4 points [-] times We have never resented you at all, because you are my son, no matter how much you have done to your parents.Mistake, how big a mistake we make is that we will not blame you at all. On the contrary, we will still love you well. It is precisely because of our reasons that we have caused such a distorted psychology to you, and we feel even more guilty deep in our hearts. , but haven’t you ever thought about where you are going to put us?Time and time again you mistook us.Why are we not saints? We also hope that our family members can forgive us, understand us, and understand our painstaking efforts. When we come here to pray to return to this home, what do you think of me as a beggar? Just give alms Let us stay at home at one point. During this period of time in this home, we have done all the housework and housework, but what is the final result?Have you ever thought about what we should do?You have never thought about it, because you are really selfish than anyone else, you always think that what you do is correct, but in the end, you finally find out that everything you do is wrong! "

It was the first time for Xia Jing to speak to his son in this tone. He always felt that he owed his son. No matter what, he could not lose his temper with his son, let alone speak in a fierce tone, because In this way, he is afraid that his son will have a deeper misunderstanding of him. He wants his son to realize that he, as a mother, really wants him at home. He wants his son to understand that he knows how to be a mother. No matter how many mistakes you have made, but now I really just hope that this family can live a stable and happy life, but now I can't control my temper this time, and I am angry with my son again. Knowing what my children think about me as a mother, don't I even have any credibility?

"Yichen, don't worry too much, your mother didn't mean that, and he didn't mean to talk to you in such a tone, she was just too anxious to control her temper, in fact, you also understand your My mother is a straightforward person, she has a sharp mouth and a bean curd heart. Everything he does is for the good of everyone in the family. I hope you don’t take it to heart. Our family lives happily, why? I have to go around and around, and it turns out that it makes everyone in the family sad? Our happy life is the best ending for everyone, let's not be like before Conflicts happen casually, and don't quarrel casually like before, lest everyone in the family will be confused, and no one can work with peace of mind. It’s not a good result. Now we just want to stay in this home safely. I hope you can trust us and stop being suspicious of us over and over again. Even if you really doubt me? Shouldn’t you Come and trust us once? Even once is fine, people’s hearts will change, even if you used to distrust us, but now we are really coming back, is it impossible for you to try to give us even the most basic trust A little bit?"

"Give you trust, even if I have given you trust, the most important thing is, what is behind giving you trust is to let you use the trust I gave you to hurt me again and again? In fact, I really can't do it, I have worked hard I'm trying to control all my temper, but you challenge me again and again, my bottom line, everyone has a bottom line, I did say that people's hearts are incomparable, and I also thought that I would take out my heart and give it to you Seeing what it is like, I also want you to know that as a son, I really want to accept you, but I really can’t forget all the pain you brought me. I’m not a saint, I I have thought about it many times, my own relatives abandoned me again and again, what is the reason? No matter how poor, tired, bitter or painful I am, I have never thought of abandoning my children, grandpa, and the whole world. Family, I did not abandon the interests of the entire family, but you, you actually chose to abandon the interests of the entire family just for a little freedom, just for your so-called vanity. In your eyes, it is nothing. All you want is to be able to fly happily in the sky. You have been flying outside for these years. What do you think you have been hurt again and again? Being beaten again and again Back to the original place?

In the end, you still have no choice but to return to this home and beg the family to take you in. Do you think this is really fun?Or do you think that family members can hurt you casually, and can challenge the bottom line of family members over and over again, but you are really wrong, we really can't do it once, and treat you like this again and again In other words, think about it carefully, how much grandpa has paid for you all these years, how many times he has paid attention to you silently, do you know?But you have never thought that he is a father deep in his heart. When facing his son's abandonment again and again, does his heart really not hurt?The child she worked so hard to raise and abandoned the father who raised her for so many years for the sake of so-called freedom, what kind of thoughts do you think my grandpa has in his heart, you can't understand, grandpa and I just put you You can't take it anymore if you are turned away, so what about the harm you have brought to grandpa?Did he say a word?He never resented you. On the contrary, he still bet all your love for you, me, because he felt that he kicked you out of the house. I'm sorry you let you have a home and can't go back. This is The biggest mistake in his life is the thing he regrets the most in his life.

But you have never repented of everything you do, you don’t even know what you want to be together, what is the result, you always feel that you hurt your loved ones again and again is something to be happy about, It's a very happy thing, but you have forgotten, even if you regard everything as the most important person again and again, how can you never feel that a kind of person is regarded as the most important person by another person? What kind of feeling does it feel to be hurt by a person? It is indeed very happy to live without heart and lungs, but when a person becomes heart and lungs, how tiring he must live, because the most heart and lungs for him That person has become heartless when he was full of heart and lungs. What kind of heavy do you think this feeling, this kind of blow is?

Dad, I didn't think about coming here to say anything to you, but I hope you can think about it carefully, can you think about what kind of ending you really want, you really thought about this kind of ending is Do you want it?Now that you have returned to this home, what will happen?You still chose to hurt everyone in the family. In your eyes, everyone in the family can be hurt at will. Have you ever thought about what kind of ending everyone in the family will get? In your heart Deep down, all you want is a word of condolence from your family.But you have forgotten that the people in your family are the ones who need your care and love the most. You tell everyone in your family time and time again with such cruel facts that you don’t deserve to be forgiven by your family members. Said, I should let me speak to you in what tone, I know that as a son, I really shouldn't say these words to you like this, but at the moment when I saw my grandpa crying, deep down in my heart really There's no way to bear it, I saw her cry, you know?My heart hurts so much. He is my grandfather. He accompanied me through the most difficult years when I was most difficult and helpless. Where were you at that time?Now that you are back, what right do you have to hate him, what right do you have to hurt her, you hurt the one who loves me the most, the one who can give everything for me, isn’t it slapping me in the face on purpose? ?

In fact, when you were doing these things, you didn't think about the serious consequences of this matter at all. What you want is just the little hope in your heart, but you forget that I am a living person, and I also have Feelings have a soul, I also have love, I also have emotions when I hate, I can't worry about everything over and over again for a little thing, but I can't bear anyone to hurt me Grandpa, he has really paid a lot for me. I really hope you can truly understand how much my grandpa has paid for me. If you still have a little bit of a lady deep in your heart, then please Tell me carefully, what exactly do you want now, if you want three grandpas, I'm so sorry, I can invite you out right now, so you don't have to think about returning to this home for the rest of your life?Because people in this family do not welcome you, if you come back just for revenge, for the things that shut you out at the beginning, then you have done it now, because everyone in the family, because of what you have done, Because your return has been received.Hurting you should be happy now, why are you still so sad, you pretend to be so pitiful, what is the reason?Now the people in our family are here to sympathize with you, how do you treat us behind the sympathy for you?We sincerely regard you as family members, and these things must bring you back to this family, but what you have done has chilled our hearts.

Do you know why I say the human heart is incomparable?Because when our family gave you their hearts, how did you repay us? You hurt grandpa and made him suffer so much. I thought about it, I can live happily, but I have no choice, I really I can't always learn, I can't learn your cruel heart, I can't learn your ruthlessness, I can't learn that you do things without scruples, I can't learn your ruthlessness at all, you know?How tired I am, how painful my life is, I will never learn your kind of happiness, because you can laugh heartlessly, but I can't, because I have a grandpa, I want to be happy for my grandpa Think about it, I want to let grandpa know that I am the one who loves her the most, and I want to let grandpa know that even if everyone in the world doesn't want her, and I will accompany him by her side, I am the one who will love her all my life. It is impossible to abandon him, I will let grandpa understand that I am the best and only support in his life.

You don't understand how much grandpa hurts when he is admitted to the hospital again and again. She also hopes that she can get the love of her son and daughter-in-law. Where were you at that time when grandpa was sent to the hospital by you? , you can only choose to avoid it, because you dare not come back, you are afraid that I will get angry with you, because what you have done hurts grandpa, the person I love the most, you have no way to explain everything to me, so You choose.Can escaping and escaping really solve things?It is simply impossible for you to do everything without ever thinking about the consequences and what kind of blow it will bring to you. All you want is your immediate interests. The so-called interests, you choose to harm your own family. You can hurt people without any scruples, even if it is your own expectations.If it were someone else, they would not know how many times you have been sued to the court, but grandpa didn't do this, he cared about the face of the family, not to mention you are his children, he can't be so cruel, but you as children How can you be so ruthless, abandon your father casually, and hurt everyone in the family casually in your eyes, are the family members really so worthless?Or do you think that flying into the sky is really that important, so what if you fly into the sky?The higher you fly, the faster you die.

You have flown into the sky more than once, you have flown into the sky again and again, what is the final outcome?You didn't get the ending you wanted at all. Instead, you flew up to the sky again and again, and finally fell down hard. Isn't it painful enough for you to fall?Why do the scars always heal and forget the pain?Why do you never think about whether your actions will bring bad consequences?Why don't you think about whether your actions are right or wrong?Don't live so selfishly, you think it's your own life, it really doesn't do you any good, and it doesn't have any benefits, all you do, in the end, only those who care about you and love you the most are hurt, You have never thought about how much pain in the heart of grandpa, I beg you to hold your hands high, let grandpa stop hurting grandpa with these things, don't let grandpa ask you again, and shed any tears, I really Could not bear.

I have lived with my grandpa for so many years, I never thought of letting her shed a tear, because I know that he loves me sincerely, he will do everything for me, everyone can give everything, but why don't you Okay, why are you always so selfish in what you do, why can't you ever consider my feelings?I am your son, your relative, and the only child in your life. Am I not your pride? Shouldn't you be proud of my achievements??I have to admit that all my achievements are thanks to you. If you hadn’t abandoned me so hard, how could I be what I am now. If it weren’t for you, how could I have been trained by the devil again and again without shedding a tear. If it weren't for you, why would I still be able to smile after being ridiculed by everyone else, because I'm trying to make myself happy, and I want everyone to see that even though I'm suffering and tired, I can always Facing the future with a smile, because my future is up to me, I will never rely on anyone, because I know that if I rely on anyone's ending, I will never get an ending, and that will make my life very tiring , even if I pin all my hopes on others, will others really give me hope?If others don’t stab me in the back and drag me to hell, I will never be able to turn around. To be strong, I can only let myself know, and I can only let everyone believe that people’s hearts should never be compared with people’s hearts, because people’s hearts change. This is the most basic truth. I have tried to exchange the hearts of many people with human hearts, but in the end what I got was hurt again and again. I got nothing and nothing. Now I can’t Believe me, what should I do to make this less painful and sad than before, I really don’t want much, just a few simple things, but in the eyes of everyone, I have nothing at all Got it because your eyes see everything different than what I see, all of us have different perspectives, you are my parents and I really hope you think twice about not doing it Doing anything that hurts everyone in the family has no meaning or benefit to you.

If I find out in the future that you have hurt grandpa and made everyone in the family feel sad and miserable, then I am really sorry, and I will definitely kick you out of the house. I can't stand my parents coming back to do evil and threatening Fu, I came back to this home not to comfort myself, not to protect myself, but to everyone in the family. This is really unacceptable to me. I can't achieve such an ending. You know, I I am a proud person, I have no way to let go of my self-esteem, and forgive everything again and again, but when I let go of all my dignity to let you, please cherish this opportunity, otherwise we will For the rest of my life, there is really no way for you to return to this family. If you come back again and again, if it only brings harm to the family, I think it will be the best ending if you don’t come back. If you come back, you can only let the family Pain then why should I choose to make you happy.Let the family members be sad and miserable?Have you ever given me love and companionship? The person I have the most is my grandpa. How could I give up my family and my family for my own selfishness, so that grandpa can be happy, go on, reason.How can I do these things? How can I make it so sad, so painful, so difficult? "

Zhang Zhentian really doesn't know how to explain to his son now. As a father, no matter how he explains, he is a bad person in the eyes of his son, and he wants to come back and hurt her casually. People and themselves have never really thought about it this way. What you want is just a simple thing. What you want is to make everyone in the family happy and happy.

But do these things I do really make everyone in the family feel happy and happy?In fact, I don't have my own ideas, and I have hurt many people in my family. I never think about myself in everything I do. What kind of results should it bring to my family? I am always so selfish. If I can really find a kind of forget you grass in this world, but how happy I should be, I will never have to think about these things that make me sad, and I can live heartlessly forever, never I would think about being popular in this family, and now I have chosen this path, so what can I do about this matter?I have to walk on the path I have chosen no matter what. Even if the path is too difficult, I can only go on like this forever. Never think about comparing people’s hearts with others. If you break all hearts, you may not be able to get others to treat you sincerely in the end. Maybe others will give you a fatal blow in the back, driving you into the abyss of hell forever, and you will never be able to turn over again. At that time, you should go Who are you looking for?Everything is just a consequence of what you did.

Maybe I really did something wrong this time, and what I did may really hurt my father. If I heard my son say that his father shed tears this time, then I am really a son. Is it that different?I can casually let my father shed sad tears because of my own words, so how much failure must this son have to make my father sigh like this, what should I do as a son Only by doing this can my father never underestimate me like this, so that I, a son, can stay by his side with peace of mind. I never think about what I will get in everything I do. The ending, but I always thought about walking all the way, always regardless of the consequences.

Every time I make a mistake, I will know that the mistakes I made are unforgivable. What I want is just a stable life, but I get nothing in the end. Instead, I hurt those people. The person who loves me the most, what I have done is simply outrageous, if time can really be restarted for myself, I will definitely not leave so easily, so even if you want to leave yourself, you will pull yourself, My son left with his family. Even if he wants to wander around the world, everyone will be together. That is a family. But now this family has been torn apart by him, and there is no way to get back together. What should I do? In order to bring all this back to the original state, what kind of ending should one's own actions bring about?Time and time again, I have forgotten how many times I have done wrong things. My son has been numb from my own injuries. He no longer knows what distress is, because deep in his heart, He felt that all he wanted was that his father could return to him, and he had returned to her now, but he still failed to bring him any love in the end. Painful, I have never done a single right thing in everything I have done, is it that I am so bad at being a father?Not only does he not have any care for his son, but on the contrary to his father, all of them are hurting himself. What should the parents of the children do to make this not so sad? Everything they do Why can't they ever get the most perfect ending? Is it really just because they have given up that they made all this the ending it is now?I don't know how many times I have reflected on what I should do to bring everything back to the original state, but I really have no way, I have no way to change everything that used to be, because everything has become a foregone conclusion , no matter how much I pay, I can’t get a sincere heart for everything, even if I want to live happily and happily, and want my family not to be hurt, but I still don’t care about it unintentionally. Hurt the people you care about the most, those who care about you the most.

Maybe I am not suitable for living in this family at all. Every time I live in this family, I will always bring painful injuries to my family members again and again. I have never done any good things. Who knows how many bad things have happened, all the pain, only you know how big a mistake you have made in your heart, and you can get what you end up with again and again, so what if you regret it, others don't Will forgive you, even if others say they forgive you, deep down in their hearts, they don't even think about forgiving you, he will only deal with you again and again.

Never give a trust, just quietly give it all, because after giving all the trust, in the end you may only get hurt, because he is not waiting for your heart wholeheartedly, it is just a simple Simple things, she wants to get to the bottom of his heart, she never thought about being with you, nor did he think about giving you the best comfort, all she wants is to deal with you again and again How to make all this look like what he wanted in his heart, everything he did was just the price he paid by unscrupulous means to achieve his goal.

"My child, I know that as a father, no matter what I say now, you will never believe everything I say, because deep down in your heart, I am not a qualified father at all. The harm I have caused you over the years , you have no way to forget at all, I can understand, but no matter what, you really shouldn't blame us for all the mistakes, is it really that we want to leave you wholeheartedly? If this is the case, then we will not come back to this home at all this time. If we sincerely don't want to live with you, then we would rather spend our whole life outside wandering around the world and be homeless than go back. Come to this family to suffer this kind of anger. When you speak to us, that tone is like a prisoner. We endure it again and again, for what, so that everyone in this family can Believe that we are sincerely coming back to this home, we are not pretending, nor are we pretending, all we want is a sincere acceptance. If you can really accept me sincerely, then I simply don’t know How happy you should be, but you can't do it at all, because you are my son, I know you too well, your temper is really similar to mine. Some things, once they happen, they will not be easily forgiven , but if you choose to forgive, then it proves that you have other intentions, you have other things you are planning, I believe that deep down in your heart, you actually think the same way, you never thought that we could Come back to this home in peace, you don’t need to say it, I understand, in fact, the harm I have caused you these years is beyond calculation, but I never thought that one day the relationship between us will become what it is now , but can you really understand the pain in my heart as a father? I really don't want such a thing to happen, and I just want everyone in the family to forgive me and be with me in peace At the same time, I can sincerely accept that I come back to this family, not to deal with the outside world.

If one day you leave your hometown for decades, and you finally come back to this home after hard work, you find that when you come back to this home, everyone in the family is just dealing with you at that time. How painful it must be, you have never thought about it at all, and you have no way to experience this feeling, but I can understand it because I have experienced it once, and I got nothing in the end. Don't feel like I've received it now.Best punishment ever.?Everything I want I can't get what I don't want, but everything is forced on my head Do you know how hard and painful I am?I've had nightmares again and again.I woke up in a panic, my purpose is nothing else but I am afraid that everyone in the family will be hurt, I just want to make myself happy, I just want everyone in the family to give him happiness, why is it so difficult?

I admit that as a father, I have never seen the slightest bit of responsibility that I should do, as if I have brought you a lot of harm, but this is really not my original intention, I never thought of treating you like this at all, Once some things happen, I also know that there is no way to go, and your sister has no way to make everything as if it never happened. I have tried my best to make up for my mistakes. I have tried my best I want you to be happy, happy, happy.I'm a cow in this family, as long as I can make up for the resentment deep in your heart, as long as I can make up for the debts owed to you for the wrong things, it doesn't matter to me, but why should I pay? Everything is in your heart but I can't get anything, is it nothing?So in your eyes, am I nothing?I am just a living person, I also have flesh and blood, I also hope that my family can forgive me, I can treat me as a family, don't tell me again and again on the surface that we are a family, but behind the scenes there is no He was an insult to me for not seeing me as family. "

"Why do you feel that treating you like this is an insult now? Then all the things you did to me at the beginning, isn't it a kind of debt or a kind of injury? Why do you only see yourself forever in your eyes? For your own benefit, you will never see others? When you do those things, is it true that others are not hurt at all in their hearts? He is not a saint, no one deserves to be punished by you again and again Hurt, I know, maybe in your father's heart, we children should not choose to abandon you, we should not choose to keep you out, but think about the things you have done yourself, don't you Are you still qualified to ask us to forgive you?

No matter what happens in my life, I will never give people's hearts to others easily, because people's hearts really cannot be exchanged. I have said this sentence many times. This sentence is a real sentence. Even if I give With all the sincerity, what can be exchanged in the end?Betrayed by family, cheated by friends, betrayed by good friends?I got everything over and over again and I didn't get it, I didn't get what I deserved, I tried to push myself out of the problem, I knew I was mentally hit hard, and there was no way I could go Accept everything so that I can live a happy and happy life like before, but I just want everyone to wait in peace and give me some time to think about what I should do, but What about you, as soon as you were discharged from the hospital, you wanted to come back to this home. It was you who made things happen step by step. It is you who have pushed me to where I am today. It is you who have made me become like this. The way I am now is out of control. It was you who caused me to become insensitive. I changed from a person with flesh and blood into a person who is insensitive. I don’t know how to measure anything with sincerity. What am I in your eyes?I gave everything, but I just wanted to get something in return. I got nothing, because I couldn’t get my parents’ sincerity towards me. In the eyes of my parents, some people are not me at all. Because in your eyes there are only benefits, it’s just your so-called freedom, where do you put my son, in your heart, my son is nothing, my son can want whatever he wants, just think No, don't throw it away if you want to, but in the end, everything I want is not like this at all. You have never considered what kind of ending I want deep down in my heart.

Perhaps this ending is what you want for you, but it is not what I want for me. What I want is a stable life, but you have destroyed what I should have most, a stable life, All of this is because of your appearance, which led to the current ending. You always feel that everything you pay is correct, and every decision we make is wrong. Are we really So damn it?do everything.Wouldn't it be a good decision at all?You will never understand, what should I do?

Now I don't need to come over and over again with the old scores with you, but do you know?Because of what you did, my son also suffered the same injuries as me, and those injuries even surpassed all the pain and suffering I suffered back then. Do you understand that from the day he entered the school Everyone laughed at him as a child without grandparents. His grandparents didn't love her and abandoned him because he was not cute enough. But you know how many times my son cried secretly because of this matter ?Every time he comes home from school, he hugs my wife and says mom, is it really because I'm not cute?Is it because I am a boy and I am not cute and disobedient, so my grandparents chose not to want me, chose to continue living outside and did not want to come back to this house to see me?Do you know what it feels like to be a parent at that moment in our hearts?He is our child, but what is wrong with what he did?But what are you going to bring to my child?You have never thought about what kind of consequences my son will cause because of your actions. You only have what you once wanted in your eyes?

Now that things have turned out as you want, shouldn't you be very happy, satisfied and excited now?All of this is due to your appearance. Can you understand how painful my son is now?For all the remaining injuries, all the pain, have you never thought about how you should make up for it?In fact, you have never thought about how all this should be done.

In your eyes, a relative is nothing but a person who can be hurt casually. In your eyes, even if a relative is hurt, no one can know how much pain he has.

do you know?When I was young, when you were ridiculed by others, you said that I was a child without parents and my parents abandoned me, and that moment when you said I was an orphan, you knew that deep down in my heart, I was actually uncomfortable. But I didn't cry, I was laughing all the time, because I saw a different future, I felt that I was a god, at that moment I decided that I must prove to everyone that I am the strongest that person.

In the daytime, when facing everyone, I was a bright child, but in the end, I was crying secretly in the dark alone, because I knew that I had no way to choose my own destiny, and all of this was done by God. It's a doomed ending, even if all this is the fate I least want, what can I do?Having given all these fates to me, I prove that I can only accept this kind of fate in my whole life, prove that I can only survive in this way in my whole life, and I can only prove myself again and again by unscrupulous means I am the most correct person. Sometimes I don’t know how to cherish at all. I don’t know how to cherish when others treat me well. It’s your squandering of their kindness to me. All they see is me. The bright side, of course, I also hope that my bright side can be seen by others. After all, happiness is something that can be shared, but sadness is not something that can be shared. Sadness is always embedded in the heart. That kind of sadness can be said, so it is not called sadness. Sometimes I try to tell others the panic in my heart, but often I open my mouth but I don’t know how to say it. In the end, I can only wave my hands and say something that you don’t understand Yeah, you know how helpless I feel that way?

From the moment you abandoned me, I knew that some things were destined to be achieved alone, and I couldn’t make a mistake just by saying it, and then I had to continue to correct it with words. The mistakes made because of words were too troublesome, so gradually I I have learned to be autistic, and I have learned not to tell others about anything. Over the past twenty years, I have really realized that I should be a quiet person, and at the same time, I should also be a person who will do whatever it takes to achieve my goal, but I I am a person who can talk too much. Every time, I always talk to myself silently by myself, because I am thinking, if my parents stand next to me, will he come? If you care about me, will you ask me what I did today and if I was bullied? But I hope that everything will be hollowed out once, and in the end I will become an unkind and insensitive person.

I like the thousands of lights in the dark night, because they always give me a sense of stability and warmth, but I am also afraid of the car lights coming from the sky in the dark night, I raised my hand to block my eyes in fear, very helpless Help, I am actually the most contradictory person, I am thinking again and again how I can continue to live a happy and happy life, I can rarely be quiet during the day, but we have almost nothing but quiet state, I always try to take away all the things deep in my heart, as if I have stolen it, the large glass can see the silent sky outside, I have always thought that I am the loneliest thing in the sky, because it is So huge that no one can hear his emotions, and no one can hear every word he said to her, it just stands there without saying a word, occasionally thundering and raining and throwing a tantrum , when my heart is most painful, I like to look at the sky, I look at the sky for a long time, because I hope the tears in my eye sockets can return to my own eye sockets to look silly, I am also used to sitting on the floor I was in a daze, holding a glass full of water in my hand. When I drank water, I could hear the sound coming from my throat, just like the screen in the computer. The sound of keyboard typing again and again, I should feel How beautiful it sounds, but I use this method again and again to numb myself, what can I get in the end?I couldn't let go of all my prejudices in my heart. For a while, I thought about what I would look like when I woke up in the middle of the night. I gradually sleepwalked. I sleepwalked to the lake. I sleepwalked until I was already I jumped into the lake and drowned. How scared I was at that moment. I was afraid that I would never wake up again. I hoped that my parents would come back to save me and give me a little support. Neither got it.

do you know?Time and time again, in the middle of the night, when I woke up, I sat on the bed and listened to the noise of rain outside, the smell of water molecules in the air, and the simple fragrance rising from the soil, and I felt that I was Like being on a boat, I can see the water buffalo on the ground, just like my time is flowing quietly, without any sound, sometimes I will go to the living room to see the fish raised by my grandfather, I saw that they were like a gorgeous silk satin when they were quiet. I could condense the outside of the fish tank into water droplets one by one when it was cold. Stubbornly believe that it is the tears of fish, I like the bright wind in the daytime, in the wind I can hear the sound of falling leaves, I can touch the sound of flowers, I can think again and again what I want most in my heart What kind of ending will it be like? I can imagine everything as if it is in front of my own eyes. Who can experience that feeling?

When I was doing devil training in the mountains, I saw the goose-yellow daisies blooming all over the mountains and plains, and I saw the azaleas in full bloom in nature. Those bright yellows spread into the wind and were brought to the very high sky. After growing up, I still like the wind, because I think the emptiness and freedom in the wind are really something to be envied.

But later, after others explained to me, I have gradually lost the habit of looking at those things, but I still like the wind. When I turned into a concrete forest bit by bit in this city, looking at the As the second soil ball, I really can no longer call those soil balls mountains, because nature gives me simple and heavy feelings, happiness is gone, everything has turned into sadness, the roof of my house All the things on the website are gone, it was given to me by my grandfather, sometimes when I see all the dandelions that my grandfather gave me floating on my window sill, that kind of lonely, but at ease, I feel that dandelions My life is a kind of great realm, I have no complaints or regrets for my lonely wandering, maybe I can barely do it without complaints, but the state of no regrets is destined to be far away from me, when the twilight is surrounded by black winds in all directions, I sit quietly in the yard alone, I think about the road I want to walk every time, I am really afraid, because I really don't know what attitude I should use to walk, I should be left behind life.

Every time at night, my state is the calmest, but this really does not mean that I am really at ease. Now that I am like this, sometimes my thoughts will be very violent at night, just like under the moonlight The black sea, the surface is not disturbed, but the water is dark and intertwined. I always have all kinds of dreams. I have been thinking about what I should do to bring everything back to the original state. Sometimes I would struggle to wake up from a dream, and then gasp for a glass of water in the thick night, and then go to sleep, I was haunted by nightmares again and again, I woke up from my dreams again and again, I am afraid of the results I get time and time again, not everything I want, all because of the harm caused by you abandoning me at the beginning. Up to now, you have never thought about how much I am a descendant. The pain, everything you want in your eyes is just the most worthy thing in your heart.

All gains have corresponding losses.

I understand that youth is actually a beautiful sadness. I always remember this sentence, but youth without laughter is incomplete, and youth without tears is even more incomplete. Since I am destined to laugh and cry loudly, then I am more willing , I walk step by step to the road I least want to go, let myself live hard in my life, let all the wind sing with me, I am very grateful to God for giving me everything, I can walk to myself , far, far away!

I'm actually a kid who looks up at the sky when I feel lonely, I look at that big sun, I look at that big moon, I see my neck hurts, I see tears in my eyes, it's true, I never say Any lies, but I looked up to the sky again and again, but in the end I couldn't get anything. I know how much pain I have in my heart.

I shuttled under the trance street lights again and again, because I knew that it would never be my shadow, it would never be what I was going through, because my life is not like this, I have to rely on my own efforts Walking out of a life that is different from others, I want to make my dreams never wake up. In the past and present lives, things are different, people are different, stars are changing, seas are changing, and a dream will never wake up for a thousand years.

In fact, parents, you should think that I am very funny. When I am alone, I always think subconsciously to get close to some people who are similar to me, because I remember that my blood is your blood. This is something that I have no way to change in my life, because of the harm you have brought to me, I have no way to forget it. I can't be indifferent, you hurt my family, I can be there again and again Patience, but can I really ignore everything?It's not that it doesn't mean what I did, it's all right, I think about what I want again and again, I want to get a life that I can be happy again and again, but in the end I get nothing.

When I was in the most painful and difficult time, every book I read was extreme or despicable, because I wanted to live like them, I wanted to force myself to become a man, I wanted to force myself to become Proving to my parents like everyone that I am not the worst person, I want everyone to know that I am doing everything right.There is no mistake at all, but what is the result I got in exchange?

In the end, I can only be like a quiet kapok, and his words are like permeating from under the kapok tree forever, washed by the sun thousands of times, flowing into my skin like spring water without delay, When I was in college, I saw what I wanted most, um, I saw the words written by my teacher, I saw a lot of things that can spread with me without any obstacles, but I myself There is no way to live a happy life there, because I live a different life from others. Deep in my heart, there are sorrows, sorrows, pains, betrayals from family members, abandonment from family members, and heavy burdens from my parents. s damage.

In the past few years, you have lived really happily outside. You don’t even know what you want, but you still hurt the things you want to cherish the most. You always feel that I am not easy to get hurt. But I am indeed a child who is particularly vulnerable to injuries. Even if I go out for a casual run, I will feel sore all over my body, but I have never cried once. I have used my own money and great tenacity to get to where I am today step by step , I just want to prove to my parents that every mistake I have ever made is not wrong at all, everything I have done is right, and I believe in everything I have done Things may not be the most perfect in your hearts, but I can really rely on my own efforts to prove that everything I do is correct. I will not bow to you, let alone those who once People who hurt themselves easily abandon everything they have, because that is not a good thing for themselves at all, and I have nothing to do.endure this ending.pain and injury to oneself.

Mom and Dad, can you understand my feeling?Do you know how painful that feeling is?You can't understand at all, because you have never thought about it, because you will never understand me, what is the way you want to send me, sometimes I have to admit that I am a big lake, a little wind is enough It makes me ups and downs. Many times, sadness and joy without warning can overwhelm me in an instant. Sometimes I also like to squat silently by the side of the road, watching the leaves of the sycamore tree fall one by one, and it has been falling all over the ground.

You always feel that I have changed, but it is not, there is no relationship between us for a long time, I can't change myself because of you, because you are not worth it!

Those painful memories are becoming blurred with the departure of a person, who can remember right and wrong so clearly?