51. Organizing the past and present (1)

Beyond that fading light, it was as if a shimmering fog could be seen.

Originally, he was not a person who liked breakfast, but recently, the heavy pressure and exhaustion he felt every time he woke up made Maxim himself more helpless. Maxim drank a glass of water, washed himself, and put on his clothes.

It was a holiday. Maxim found a piece of stationery strewn under the doorway.

“yes?”

Lately, only bad memories of the letter remain. Maxim picked up the envelope, wiping his hair with a towel. Fortunately, it was not the old stiff and luxurious letter envelope. Maxim turned the letter to see the front side of the letter, the wax sealing the envelope. And he frowned at the unexpected pattern that appeared.

“Why at home…”

The symbol of the Apart family, represented by an owl, was engraved on the wax. Maxim was happy to see the family pattern he hadn’t seen in a long time, but deep down he felt uneasy as to why the family sent him a letter. Maxim stopped looking at the envelope and broke the wax seal.

A little thick letter paper protruded from inside the envelope. A total of two sheets of paper. I was using much thicker paper than the usual stationery. Why did he care about the letter while he used ordinary envelopes?

“To the eldest son…”

Maxim let out a heavy sigh. What else are you calling me by that name?

I recently heard from your father-in-law.

this uncle

Maxim read the letter with his lips twitching. Maybe it’s too blatant, my family.

Little by little, pressure is coming from the Bennings and Bordins, but the family is not aware of it. Maxim continued reading the letter.

I know that soon the engagement announcement with Marion will be officially made. It seems like the two of you got engaged just yesterday, but now that I think about it, it’s already been three years. It’s not strange to formally announce your engagement, schedule a wedding date, and hold social gatherings. Rather, I think it’s strange that I haven’t done it before.

Maxim’s eyes continued to read the letter under it.

I’ll visit the royal capital once before the invitation arrives. I heard that you and Marion didn’t even match rings, so why don’t you take this opportunity to match an engagement ring?

Maxim let out a laugh. Are you quite happy to have a relationship with a high-ranking aristocrat? Maxim turned the letter over to see if there was more to it, but the second page of the two letters contained only a short message with the sender, ‘Your father.’

“…”

Maxim held up the second letter and had a questioning look in his eyes. Is there any reason to write down the recipient while wasting more fine paper?

Maxim picked up the second page of the enclosed letter. I’ll have to look into it in more detail.

mark.

Maxim held up the light to shine the letter.

“…was this?”

When I looked closely at the letter paper under the light, I could see the dent marks. Maxim carefully moved his finger over the paper and swept it over. As if the intaglio had been dug, I could feel the curves on the thick paper. Maxim took a pencil and went down to paint on the paper.

The hidden text was gradually revealed.

Maxim frowned as he checked the text. Because the writing was written by relying on the pressure of the pen, there were some words that I could not properly recognize in the middle, but I could barely read them.

“Such… childish…”

I didn’t know that I would leave what I wanted to say in such a childish way. Because I don’t know who will get this letter and how it will end up.

A little more, the way he spoke closer to his father’s real face was revealed. Maxim sighed, half relieved and half worried.

I hope you noticed this article. There are a couple of things I want to ask you.

Maxim read the text left by his father.

Recently, a strange atmosphere has been detected within the family. It feels as if every move of the family is being watched.

Maxim inhaled a sigh of relief.

It wasn’t long before I felt that feeling. First of all, the number of servants who are not from the territory suddenly increased. I didn’t realize it when I was hiring a new servant right away, but I came to know this time when I was organizing the list of vassals and servants.

The gaju’s letter continues.

For some reason, I don’t know who watched over our family. All I can guess is that someone from the high aristocratic class did this, but I don’t know how our family and the high nobility got involved. If it comes to mind right away, there is only the Borden family who suddenly proposed an engagement, but it’s not a family that has the power to do so, so I’m more concerned.

Don’t be too concerned. Taking an unusual action for our family here would be the worst option. Prepare to announce your engagement to Marion. See you soon at the royal capital, at your engagement ceremony.

Maxim laughed dejectedly and folded the letter and placed it on the table. As long as you stay still, there will be no big threat to your family. Although the immediate surveillance was uncomfortable, it was difficult to explain everything to my father.

By the way, it’s a ring.

Maxim frowned. Slowly, Maxim made his way to his closet. Maxim opened the closet and picked up the necklace hanging on the inside of the door. In the center of the necklace hung a ring, not a jewelry or brooch-like ornament.

Maxim looked at the ring on the end of the necklace like a fisherman who caught a fish, then put the ring on his hand.

A plain, unadorned ring with a single small jewel embedded in it. It was the ring he once promised to Theodora, and it was the ring that both tormented and supported Maxim.

The ring was hanging in a corner of Maxim’s closet, hanging from the necklace. Maxim squeezed the ring in his hand, as if trying to ruminate on memories, then let go.

Should I bury now?

The memories with Theodora, the letters she gave me. None of them were thrown away. To Maxim, it was both an awl that could dig endless wounds and a drug that strengthened his dependence on memory.

When you fell off the cliff, and when you faced the death worm and decided to write an aura, what was your final decision? Wasn’t it like taking an ambiguous attitude and pushing away, rather than being prepared to face everything? Maxim asked himself.

Facing each other was no different from saying that they would end up being cut off. The two precarious parallel lines that you have been trying to avoid and find a way to avoid are bound to break when they meet.

The end was approaching Maxim in an increasingly clear form.

In the end, what awaited him at the end of his choice of nothing was a punishment in the name of a curse. Maxim put his hand on his chest. Even now, I could clearly feel the curse eating away at my body little by little. Will I be able to hold out until I fight that Behemoth?

Did you know that one day it will be like this?

You knew you would end up in such a miserable, unsympathetic end.

Maxim looked into the dark closet. It was like looking in a mirror. And put the ring deeper than the inside of the door. Maxim took out his clothes. It was a clean, unadorned suit. After looking into the closet for a while, I closed the door.

Maxim got dressed. Slowly, as if going through a ritual, Maxim buttoned up the fabric and straightened the sleeves.

Borden and Apart, today was the day the parents of both families met, and the engagement ceremony between Maxim and Marion was to be held.

Even after throwing away most of the things that reminded her of her memories with Maxim, there is one thing Theodora couldn’t bear to throw away. I could remember exactly when.

One winter, a small jewelery store in the royal capital that Maxim and I visited after the end of the river. Theodora was in a situation where she had to return to the estate for a while, so she wanted a proof that she was connected to Maxim.

What Maxim suggested was to share the ring.

On the last day of class, Theodora and Maxim visited a jewelry store and made a ring. It wasn’t flashy, and it was just a ring with a small jewel embedded in it to show that it wasn’t just a simple ring.

Even inside the academy or back to the manor, rings cannot be worn carelessly, so Theodore bought a pair of strings and put the ring on her necklace.

“Don’t forget to keep wearing it. Even if you can’t wear it, you have to carry it.”

Theodora said so to Maxim. Maxim smiled and nodded his head as if it were natural.

“Always, remind me whenever you feel the necklace around your neck.”

“Even when I’m not walking, I’m always thinking of you.”

At Maxim’s playful answer, Theodora relaxed her mouth.

“You know what I mean.”

“Sorry, I’ll always wear it.”

Maxim grabbed the ring that was dangling from his neck and looked up.

“Can you tell me we are together?”

“As long as I have this, forever.”

After parting with him, Theodora collected all the letters she had shared with Maxim and burned them. I threw away and buried everything Maxim had given me in a place I couldn’t remember, trying not to think of him again.

By the river, Theodora held the ring. The necklace on which the ring was attached flowed like a handful of sand escaping from the palm of my hand. Theodora clenched her hand. Sorry, I couldn’t throw it.

Theodora let her high-raised arm hang limply. I could have thrown away all the other items, but I couldn’t bear to throw away this ring. The words she said while giving the ring to Maxim, and the words Maxim gave back, were too heavy.

“…pup.”

Theodora shed tears like that by the flowing night river. The ring wasn’t thrown away that day after all. Theodora returned with a clenched fist. The string of necklaces followed like smoke.

Theodora now opened the drawer. It was a new drawer, full of old stuff. Opening a drawer of old stuff was like going through a shelf of memories. Theodora now had no spirit to pay attention to such memories.

As if in a dream, Theodora approached the second drawer. At the top of the second drawer was a ring. It appeared in front of Theodora with the string of the necklace slightly faded.

Theodora carefully lifted the necklace as if lifting a glass marble that would break.

The necklace said nothing. He didn’t even give me a warm hug like Maxim. At one time, when I held this necklace, I felt warmth for no reason. But now, the touch of this cold metal reminded Theodora that it was a temporary illusion.

With a clanking sound, the ring slipped into Theodora’s hand. Theodora held the necklace with both hands, as if to atone for her sins. Elbows touched the ground. Theodora closed the open drawer. In her arms, a ring and necklace were cradled.

And on the cold floor, a piece of stationery fell.

It was an invitation, announcing someone’s engagement and inviting them to a celebration.

Theodora put on the necklace and tucked it under her clothes to keep it out of sight.

I don’t know what to go and see. Faced with Maxim, I don’t know what to say. Theodora just thought that if she wasn’t there, she wouldn’t be able to face Maxim properly again.

Theodora picked up the stationery.

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