Picking the stars

Pei Ji's gaze was fixed on the line, her whole figure seemed to be frozen, emotionally broken, but reason has quickly recalled the scene from childhood to childhood.

"The top two are the paternity test of Pei Yi and your parents, and the bottom one is the paternity test of Pei Yi and you." Song Er's voice sounded in her ears.

Pei Ji's gaze moved up and moved to Song Ye's face. Song Ye was different from the usual or gentle smile, or squeamish complaint. She was very calm, or forced herself to calm down, so as to cope with Pei Ji's subsequent enquiries.

"Pei Yi's?" Pei Ji asked.

Without waiting for Song Er to answer, she accepted the report.

The first is the paternity test between Pei Yi and Pei Yu'an. Pei Ji didn't look at the test results, so he turned to the appraisal opinion. The appraisal opinion was that the relationship was not established.

The second one is Pei Yi and Zhao Xian... the kinship is not established.

Pei Ji flipped quickly, and she quickly flipped to the last piece. She stopped and looked at Song Er: "You always know?"

Song Wei looked at her expression, feeling a little flustered, but still tried to calm down, and said, "Yes. You and Pei Yi are somewhat similar in appearance. It should not be wrong that you are twins, but for the sake of prudence, I still appraise it. a bit."

Pei Ji didn't seem to hear the words behind her. She just looked at her, using her usual calmness, and said: "We have known each other for two months. You know how much I care about this, but you never say it."

There was no blame or blame in her tone, as if she was narrating an objective fact.

But Song Er heard the disappointment, the repressed anxiety and restlessness in her calm words. She wanted to explain, but Pei Ji stopped looking at her and opened the last report.

It was the genetic identification of her and Pei Yi, the sample was hair, and the identification results were related.

Pei Ji's eyes only stayed on the appraisal result for a short time. She turned to the front and looked at the appraisal date, which was nine years ago.

She didn't know what to say, and she didn't know what mood should be used to face this matter, whether it was reason or emotion, she couldn't accept this matter, let alone her being concealed for nine years.

She was shaking while holding the appraisal report, but she still held the pieces of paper tightly. She felt all the blood pouring into her brain, her ears seemed to be filled with countless sounds, the blood seemed to boil, and the brain was hot and painful, like it was about to explode.

"When did she know?" She heard herself asking, she saw Song Er's expression become embarrassed, she saw her lips open and close, making a sound.

"When she was four years old."

She answered her.

Pei Ji nodded, it turned out not to be nine years, it turned out to be twenty-one years.

In 21 years, there were countless meetings, Pei Yi could tell her, but she did not say, she did not say when she self-doubt, self-denial, and think she was a freak. When she tried to be like a normal person, but because she was not good at communicating, she was laughed at and isolated by her classmates, she didn't say anything. When she showed her kindness and wanted to make up for their relationship, she didn't say, she didn't think she had seen it.

Pei Ji felt desperate. She didn't understand the meaning of this piece until now, but she still didn't loosen it, and pinched the papers tightly, so she could wrinkle them.

She glared at Song Wei, eyes full of bloodshot eyes, Song Wei approached her, her eyes full of worry, stretched out, as if to hug her. Pei Ji avoided, she didn't want to be touched, didn't want to be touched by anyone, especially didn't want to be touched by people related to Pei Yi.

She looked at Song Wei, her anxious eyes gradually becoming blank. She felt that Song Wei was very strange. It was not the kitten who cared about her. She became a symbol, a symbol that stayed with Pei Yi.

Song Wei seemed to be worried about her, she was talking, and it took a long time for Pei Ji to hear that she was saying, "I'm sorry Pei Ji..."

The sound behind was no longer audible, replaced by those harsh sounds that made her headaches from deep in her memory.

"You are a freak, do you know?"

"Pei Ji, ah, she is very smart, but she doesn't have the ability to take care of herself in life. Have you ever heard of high scores and low scores? He who is not far away is a precocious fool."

"Even her parents don't like her."

"She wants to play with us, and nerds will play too, ignore her, freak."

"Mom said, let me not talk to you." It was Pei Yi's voice. She was standing at the door, watching the living room nervously, while Zhao Yu was sitting there watching TV.

She returned the candy she handed her and said this to her under her voice.

"Wait for me to grow up..." Pei Yi said again, but Zhao Yu looked over, and she immediately shut up. She looked at Pei Ji hesitantly, but finally walked away from her.

Pei Ji didn't like sugar, but she saw Pei Yi eat it and thought she would like it. She didn't know how to express her feelings, but she also understood that she would be happy if she made the other person happy.

She didn't have pocket money, but occasionally the school had to pay for the materials and the lectures were time-consuming. Zhao Yu was too lazy to find change and would give her an extra five cents. She saved it like that and bought sugar, but Pei Yi didn't want it.

Everyone knew that she was the only one who was always isolated, and she didn't need to know anything. Like a basin of ice water, Pei Ji's swollen brain, the sharp pain cooled.

She feels cold all over

All emotions are like being poured into a jar and mixed, disappointment, grievance, pain, years of cold talk, years of cold violence, isolated from the crowd.

As if separated from everyone by a layer of transparent glass, she could see them laughing, seeing them hugging each other, laughing with each other, expressing love and being loved with each other, but they had nothing to do with her, she could only watch , Without the right to be integrated. .

She told Song Er that she was never alone before she appeared.

Is she really lonely? No, she has been lonely, she is used to it, she is numb.

Just like now, she didn't understand why she was so sad because of this appraisal, and why there was a wave of anger swelling in her heart. She thinks that she should be a sponge, can be needled, not hurt, can be soaked in water, will not be cold, can be discarded, and will not be sad.

Song Wei tried to touch her, she didn't avoid it anymore, just looking at her eyes, becoming unfamiliar and repelling.

Song Er was mentally prepared, but was still hurt. She smiled and gently comforted her: "Let's go home first."

She took Pei Ji downstairs and settled her in the co-pilot.

Pei Ji squeezed the piece tightly, as if it was the only thing she could hold in it. She never spoke, Song Wei didn't know what she was thinking.

When I got home in the evening, the cicadas' cries had disappeared, the lotus leaves in the pond had rotted, the breeze was no longer blowing, and there was silence.

Song Wei couldn't take care of this anymore, she took Pei Ji upstairs.

Pei Ji didn't seem to need to take care of her. She walked very steadily, knowing where and where to go. When she reached the door, she took out the key to open the door, entered the door, and turned to look at Song Er.

Song Er's heart mentioned to her throat, for fear of saying that you should leave.

But Pei Ji just asked her seriously: "Are you from my side?"

Song Er nodded: "I am." She nodded vigorously, "Of course I am."

Pei Ji seemed very happy, she smiled, but when Song Wei approached her, he still found that Pei Ji resisted her touch. Song Er can only give up, and can only give Pei Ji time to digest this matter.

There was no food at home, so I had to order takeaway.

Pei Ji opened the refrigerator and found a basket of broken raspberries.

Song Er hadn't eaten it all the time, she was reluctant to lose it at first, but then she forgot. She took the small basket out of the refrigerator and walked to the trash can, but she was reluctant to throw it away.

Song Wei came over and called her to eat, and when he saw the little basket in her, his eyes narrowed.

Hearing the movement, Pei Ji turned around, saw her, and said, "I seem to miss what you taught me. I forgot. Can you teach me again?"

Song Er hurriedly nodded: "Yes, I will teach you again, it's okay, I will always be there, I can teach you anytime."

Pei Ji said: "Okay."

She seemed to be in the same condition as usual, the appraisal certificate was put away by her, she still didn't speak very much, and even had a meeting in front of the computer at night.

Song Er could not hear that there was anything irrational about her.

It wasn't until nine o'clock in the evening, after she had read several reports that helped her organize, she suddenly asked: "Then who is my biological father and mother?"

But there is no need for Song Er to answer, and do other things on his own.

Song Wei understood that she probably felt that even if she reunited with her biological parents, they would not like her.

"Your biological father and mother passed away unexpectedly within a few months of you, so your adoptive parents adopted you." Song Er said.

She was sure that Pei Ji could hear, and Pei Ji did indeed hear. She stopped and looked at Song Ye. She seemed very hesitant, but still asked: "If they are still alive now, will they think that they see me now? I'm pretty good?"

She and Song Wei detailed what she has: "I have several degrees and a decent job. I won the award, which will probably make them feel worthy. I have a house, a car, some savings, and I can afford it. Their pension, if they need it. They should be satisfied with me, right? As long as I have as little contact with them as possible, they won't find me weird."

She said this, feeling very happy, like having a stable and happy childhood again.

Song Er hurriedly told her: "Get along often, they will also like you very much."

Pei Ji shook her head, obviously unbelieving, but she thought about it carefully, and then said: "It might be satisfied with me. I study very fast, get a full scholarship, and I don’t want to eat good food and wear clothes. Good clothes, I don’t need someone to tell me bedtime stories, nor do I need them to comfort me when I am frustrated, to be happy for me when I am glorified, it saves money and time to raise me. Thinking like this, I’m in my own life If my parents grow up next to them, maybe they will really like me a little bit."

She analyzes her effortlessness in this way, and will not cause trouble to others, but she is still not sure that she will be accepted. She didn't believe that anyone would like her because of her.

She used to think that because of blood, because of the natural kinship between people, Pei Yuan and Zhao Yu should love her, and even they are indifferent to her. It only shows that she is really bad, weird, weird enough to make the world the most deserved The biological parents who accepted her couldn't accept it.

Now it turns out that they are not her biological parents, so it should be right to dislike her. She has no complaints.

But Pei Yi, as a person with her blood relationship, should stand on her side, not on the opposite side, ignoring her together.

Therefore, blood does not mean anything.

So if her biological father and mother were still alive, they would not be more patient with her because of their blood relationship.

"I actually suspected it. I have observed many families, and there is no second case like mine." She looked at Song Er and told her in detail her speculation, "But they are so good to Pei Yi, not like they weren't biological. , And Pei Yi and I are similar in appearance. They are indeed twins. So the suspicion is dispelled."

She even felt guilty, how could she speculate like this, it was too bad.

Song Wei was sitting on a single sofa two meters away from her, listening to her talk. When Pei Ji talked about this, he stopped, and his expression fell down.

Song Wei stood up and wanted to approach her, Pei Ji turned to look at her, her eyes appeared contradictory, but did not speak.

Song Er had to stop, and then returned to the original place if nothing had happened, Pei Ji's expression relaxed a little. She solemnly apologized to her: "I'm sorry, I shouldn't hide the news of your Pei Yi's death."

Song Er shook his head: "It's okay."

Pei Ji carefully examined her look and judged whether what she said was true.

Song Wei found out that she didn't trust her anymore, she felt at a loss, but had to force herself to face it.

Pei Ji didn't speak anymore. She still had a lot of questions, but she didn't ask.

While sleeping, Song Er followed her to the door of her room. Pei Ji pressed on the door and looked at her suspiciously.

Song Er doesn't know if she will be rejected, but she still wants to try: "Can I sleep with you?"

Pei Ji opened the door and walked in, which meant acquiescence.

They are lying flat on the bed, separated by almost one person.

Song Er was flustered, and the professor seemed to become free, and he was far away all at once. She was too calm, except for the gaffe when she was at Pei Yi's house, she was calm in the back, as if her emotions were suppressed.

"Professor..." Song Er called her and turned to look at her.

The room was dim, the sleep light was dim, Pei Ji closed his eyes, and Song Wei's hair made a sound on the pillow because he turned his head, rustling, and it was very clear in a quiet room.

Pei Ji opened his eyes, but did not look at her.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't tell you before." Song Wei explained to her, "I couldn't see it at the time, I was afraid I could not comfort you. Also, this is your private matter, and Pei Yi wants to tell you by herself." Shi did not know that Pei Yi was no longer there.

She was not sure, she didn't know whether Pei Ji would anger her, or whether the connection that had been established in the past two months would collapse all of a sudden, or even get worse.

"Pei Ji, don't believe me." Song Wei said in a low voice, but never dared to approach her.

Pei Ji turned her head and looked at her. Her eyes were silent. When she saw Song Er, a little light appeared, as if she had seen the only star in the night.

But she didn't say much, she just yelled: "Kitten."

Song Er wanted to say something, Pei Jishen turned off the sleep light, and the room was completely dark.