I Want to Hang Around in the Moon

"I'm not your harem, don't talk to me in such a disgusting tone." Now Le Zhengling is like a hedgehog with thorns all over his body, completely not allowing others to approach.

Arthur looked at Le Zhengling, who was showing a guarded attitude towards him, speechlessly. Now he was neither advancing nor retreating, and the two were deadlocked in place.

"You are more serious than what Meili said. You are not only withdrawn, but you are rejecting the world." After saying this, Arthur apologized to Meili in his heart. He wanted to communicate well. , but seeing Le Zhengling's expression of complete lack of willingness to communicate.

"..., everyone met by chance. As the mobile savior, you will transfer away at some point, and I'm just an ordinary person who doesn't matter. The road is facing the sky. Wouldn't it be good if we each go one way?"

Hearing Arthur mention Mei Li, Le Zheng listened to look at the robe on his body.

"Someone said that your personality is very problematic!" Arthur was also a little angry. No one likes this kind of child who is completely disobedient.

"Yes, Merlin said it, you said it, Araya Zonglian said it too." Le Zhengling tilted his head, as if he didn't know why Arthur would ask such a question.

"But what about my personality? What does it have to do with you guys? You guys are really nosy, since you don't like my personality, why don't you just ignore me? Araya Zonglian will not say anything anymore Now, neither of us cares about Merlin, but why are you so persistent?"

"I'm here for you—"

"Please, don't use [I'm doing it for your own good] to force others, okay?" Le Zhengling looked at Arthur with a powerless look, just like looking at an immature child.

"Do I beg you to be good for me? Do you know that your kindness is really what I need? If you think it is, then I beg you in person now. You don't need to be good for me, and please leave me alone. I don't I need your kindness."

Le Zhengling said while retreating to the window.

"Everything [for your own good] is just self-satisfaction. This kind of kindness hurts, Arthur. Like in another King Arthur story, she let go of Lancelot and Guinevere Son, I think she was also doing it for their own good, but it happened that this incident caused a split in the round table. In the end, Guinevere became a nun, and the two never saw each other until their death. This kind of ending is the result of King Arthur Caused [for your own good]."

Le Zhengling was sitting on the window, with his back facing a red moon.

"I don't know what your story is, but how do you feel when you hear the ending of another you?"

Against the backdrop of the moonlight, Le Zhengling was smiling, and an extraordinary magic aroused Arthur's vigilance, because the breath surrounding him reminded everyone all the time: don't approach me.

"Yes, that's right, that's it." Looking at Arthur who was on guard, he smiled even more happily, "I'd rather you guard me like this than approach me—there are only passing roads in the world. People are good people."

"Behind your smile is the silence of nothingness. Is everything in this world unimportant to you!"

"Maybe? When I turned—when I was born into this world, I thought it was an ordinary continuation, but what I didn't expect was that when my life ended again this time, I discovered that it was a lie."

Le Zhengling squinted her eyes and smiled lightly, that smile was very gentle, but it also made people feel very painful.He slowly counted on his fingers.

"Can you believe it? What you thought was an ordinary day was a lie created by your closest relatives." A finger.

"When I realized something was wrong, I was told by a kind person that I was about to die." Two fingers.

"I hope to leave something behind, but I can't deliver it to others." Three fingers.

"I tried my best to live, but because of my own weakness, even though I struggled with all my strength, I still died in the end. If you die, you will die, and the body may be used by others for other things." Four fingers.

"Although he was revived, his soul could only look at his body and couldn't go back. Later, his soul almost dissipated." Five fingers.

At this point, Le Zhengling stopped, kicking like a naughty child,

"What should have happened before my soul arrived in Avalon, but I can't remember it at all, and what happened before coming to this end of the world, but I also forgot."

"I have encountered all of these, but they are not the most important."

Having said that, Le Zhengling put away his fists, knocked on his head, and stuck out his tongue, "The most important thing is, I forgot my name~ And not only my name, but also my mental age seems to have degenerated Ah. Some of those past memories seem to have been taken away by someone, and the remaining part seems to have been sorted out by someone, and those memories have become experiences."

"Memory is for recalling, not for viewing like a movie. Because memories are real, movies are fake, and my memory has been tampered with, and now it looks like a movie."

"The most important things that belonged to me were first taken away by someone. Then, the me in the past became not myself. This state is terrifying~ You can't imagine it at all, Arthur? "

Arthur looked at Le Zhengling, who was becoming more and more abnormal, and a chill rushed to his forehead. He had forced Le Zhengling to talk about his past before, but he didn't expect it to be like this, and Mei Li said that The family specializes in producing lunatics, so the current state of Le Zhengling is what she said, right?

"I feel that my life is like a worm in a worm cage, being watched and played with at will. When the observer is no longer interested, he will starve to death because he forgot to feed."

Le Zhengling pulled the braids and flicked the ends of her hair, "Well, although this metaphor is a bit wrong, it's almost the same."

"Also, I don't know if it's because I'm a soul body. I seem to be easily influenced by something. Just like now, I am obviously a man, but I naturally make such feminine movements..."

He raised his hair and tail, his face was very confused, "I have been subconsciously resisting those strange influences, but as soon as I lose control of my emotions or get distracted by something, my behavior will become more and more strange."

"You can't imagine how hard I usually work. Even when I'm sitting, I try my best not to raise my legs, and when I'm lying down, I don't put my hands where they shouldn't be."

"Since I've worked so hard, why do you still bother me? It made me give up thinking and give up on myself now." Le Zhengling's red eyes formed a weird contrast with the bright red moon behind him.

All disasters come with the red moon——At this moment, Arthur remembered this saying from his hometown.

"But escaping can't solve any problems." After listening to Le Zhengling's confession, Arthur's heart was full of bitterness. Facing this kind of person whose heart has been distorted, even if he is strong, he can't do anything.

At this time, the field of mental health is completely in the category of Mei Li.

"Yeah, it's true that escaping can't solve any problems, but what I'm looking for is my own peace, so why do I need to solve it? In order to keep me still me, I can't be changed anymore~" Le Zhengling looked at Ya in confusion. Se, his eyes are as innocent as a baby's.

"..., I can't agree." Arthur stared straight into Le Zhengling's eyes.

"People, no matter who they are, are pursuing their own meaning of existence. Because the so-called meaning of existence refers to the reason why a person is 'himself'. If this thing is taken away from that person, he will be There is nothing left. And yours is not pursuing, but standing still."

"This kind of escape is wrong. Moreover, you are not looking for peace at all, but—" Arthur said here, looking at Le Zhengling with some sad and understanding eyes, "you are looking for death relief."

"No, you are mistaken, how can someone like me who is afraid of death actively seek death?" Le Zhengling looked at him reproachfully, "How many people are not afraid of death, which is opposite to life? Heroes like you are not afraid of death, but ordinary people like me are afraid, okay?"

"Well, wait, let me do the math. From the past to the present, there have been about 1060 billion people on the earth. If people in the world are divided into [fear of death], [not afraid of death], and [want to die], then the proportion It's about 1000:10:1. The people who [want to die] are further subdivided into [those who are desperate], [those who suffer], and [those who are calm], and the ratio is also 1000:10:1."

"The people in this '1' are further divided by age groups. Old people who are over fifty years old account for two-thirds, and among the rest, ignorant and ignorant babies account for another two-thirds. Forget it, you are really not afraid of death. , there are about 4.6 people who can calmly accept death."

"I'm definitely not one of them. And I'm not a [Desperate] or a [Painful]. If I can live, I can lie down anywhere, and I can lie down forever."

"You are afraid that you will not be yourself, so you try not to be changed." Arthur debunked Le Zhengling's thoughts in a very calm tone.