I Have Crossed Over, but You Are The Second Week?

Looking at Jia Feier standing in front of his eyes at this time, this one seems to be in grief, enduring the pain and trying hard not to cry, like a wounded little animal, more painful than the wound on the body It is the grief of the heart.

Isn't this Jiafeier just like the self-righteous self in the past?Just looking at the appearance in front of him as if he wanted to bury himself deep in the soil and escape from everything that wrapped his heart, Subaru had a feeling that he was facing the immaturity of the past, which could not be saved because of the wrong method. Yoshida Saki's own same feeling.

Rather than scolding Garfiel, Subaru was scolding himself for his immaturity.So, looking at Garfiel who seemed to resemble his past self, Subaru also had a strong desire to save her from the shadow of the past.

And this time, he will definitely not repeat the mistakes of Yoshida Saki.

"No...no..."

Subaru's eyes were fixed on Garfield in front of him, and Subaru looked more like a hunting beast than Garfield.Gafiel, who once sneered at Subaru, thinking that Subaru was weak, seemed to feel a wildness that he could not resist at this moment.

The question was so sharp that it hit the soul directly, and the strong aura seemed to eat away at herself, which made Jia Feier have the idea of ​​running away at this moment, and her body did indeed put it into action.

but--

"I won't let you escape! It's hard to get to this point, if I just throw it away like this, it will be a waste of all my previous efforts!"

Subaru, who had been constantly approaching Jiafeier, and the distance between Jiafeier and Jiafeier at this time was only one person's space, immediately grabbed her arm, and his strong palm only grabbed Jiafeier's wrist, It made Garfield realize that he had no way to resist, and he couldn't even raise the desire to resist.

Looking at Garfield, who seemed to be about to cry with grief, Subaru did not soften his heart, but continued to ask persuasively, "Do you hate your family, or is my guess all wrong? If If that's not the case—"

"No, it's not like that, I... I just...!"

Garfiel shook her head vigorously like an ordinary, hurt and crying little girl.At this time, she is not a 'shield of the sanctuary', nor is she a sub-human race with orc blood that most seeks strength and wildness.

She is just an ordinary girl.

"Speak out."

Subaru did not let go of his right hand that was gripping Garfiel's wrist.Even though Garfield had completely given up resistance at this time, he still did not let go of his hand.

Perhaps to a certain extent, it is precisely because of his actions that Jia Feier, who is no different from an ordinary little girl at this time, can continue to stand here.

In fact, Subaru had already realized that his initial guess about Garfiel must have been wrong.

Jia Feier indeed saw his past in the ruins, and indeed saw his mother, and saw the past that her mother abandoned him.

But, is Jia Feier really hating her own mother?

Is the act of hitting the wall after leaving the ruins not so much a vent of hatred and anger, more like self-loathing and punishment?

Garfield's resistance to the outside world, Garfield as a good boy in Luz Bilma's mouth, Frandelica who showed a gentle gaze when mentioning Garfield, although she didn't say much, and... ...Garfiel's attitude at this moment.

Perhaps, she didn't hate her mother, nor did she hate her sister.Even, did Garfield's attitude towards him and Rem really just treat them as dangerous elements?

"What exactly do you think, what is your truest thought. If you want others to know, if you want others to understand, then say it!"

"I...I want...to let, mother..."

As if he had stopped breathing, Garfield just closed his eyes, and shouted in a voice as if he would burst into tears in the next moment: "—I hope Mom can become happy!"

Having said it, Garfiel expressed his thoughts in front of Subaru, keeping himself hidden in his heart and not being seen by anyone.

In this forest, in front of Subaru, at the moment when it was just the two of them, as if wanting to vent completely, he uttered his inner voice softly.

And this kind of thought that oppressed her heart like a heavy burden, from the moment she chose to speak the first sentence, there was no possibility of it being blocked again.

"...Is it getting in the way. My sister or I, are we getting in the way of her being happy!?"

What is overflowing is the self-punishment-like guilt Garfield has accumulated in his heart for the past ten years.

"I know, it's only natural to leave me and my sister behind. Isn't it?"

"Because it's not the child I wanted to have, and it's a 'mixed-race' demihuman. This kind of thing will definitely hinder her from living outside!"

"Throw away, throw away, what's so strange about throwing away the burden that has become a burden!...There is nothing wrong with it from the beginning..."

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't control the trembling voice, and the uncontrollable tears.Garfiel tried hard to cover his eyes with the hand that was not tightly held by Subaru, as if he didn't want Subaru to see him crying.

"It's natural to be abandoned. So, I never hated my mother who abandoned me from the beginning."

"...Isn't it natural? My sister and I are troublesome existences, and my mother left here to become happy!"

When Garfiel was still a baby, he saw off his mother who left him and left the Sanctuary.Then, she challenged the trial and once again witnessed the fact that her mother abandoned her.

The experience of being abandoned by her mother twice hurt her heart when she was still young, and no one could blame her for this.

However, what really drove her to a desperate situation was not the appearance of her mother who abandoned her.

Chapter 444 Idiot Like Me

Garfield doesn't resent his mother, and even understands the choice made by his mother.

A place like Sanctuary is just a cage that imprisoned demihumans, a recycling yard with only garbage. Living in such a place will not have any bright future worth looking forward to.

Therefore, going out of the sanctuary is inevitable and the only choice.

In the same way, she and her older sister Frandelica, who have demi-human blood, can only be a drag as the current daughters, an obstacle that hinders the mother from finding a happy life.

Garfiel knows that the relationship between demihumans and humans is not so good, especially since she and her sister exist as mixed demihumans and daughters of their mothers. Even my mother won't be welcomed.

Therefore, Garfield can understand the choices made by his mother and also support the choices made by his mother.Whether she and her sister are happy is not important at all, as long as her mother can be happy after leaving the sanctuary, that is the greatest comfort to her.

Therefore, it was never the abandonment of her mother that really pushed Jiafeier into a desperate situation and made her suffer so much that she resisted the outside world and her sister who left the sanctuary.

"I saw it..."

Garfiel choked up, and Subaru could feel the trembling of Garfiel's wrist that he was holding.

"I went into the tomb without telling grandma, and I saw...the mother who left us..."

"Mom, after going out... she was immediately sucked into the landslide, just like that..."

"... Garfield."

What Subaru couldn't think of, what really made Garfiel miserable and desperate, what he loathed and feared, was the truth.

"Sister, she doesn't know...My sister believes that my mother has gone to live somewhere far away."

"...But, that's not the case! Mom died shortly after she abandoned us!"

Crying, Garfiel poured out his despair to Subaru.

"She died... she couldn't become happy..."

"Why? Didn't you leave here to be happy? Didn't you decide to go to the outside world for a better future?"

"Obviously, I have abandoned my sister and me for a happy future, for the beautiful life I was looking forward to! However..."

"If you die when you have just taken the first step before you have achieved happiness..."

"My sister and I, we have always felt lonely, and we have been enduring the feeling of being abandoned all the time. What should we do about these things!"

This is, Garfield has been looking for the answer for ten years, but he still hasn't found it.

"I hope my mother can be happy..."

The crying voice gradually seemed to be injected with strength.Taking away the hand that covered his face, Garfiel made a grinding sound of sharp teeth.

Clenching her teeth as hard as she wanted to crush her teeth, bright red blood dripped from her broken lips, and she screamed loudly.

"Whether it's the feeling of sadness! Or the loneliness and helplessness of being abandoned! I want myself to think that these are meaningful, in order to make my mother happy! I want myself to hate my mother—!"

However, with the death of his mother, Jiafeier's feelings for his mother also lost its place, whether it was the wish for his mother to be happy, or the self-deceitful desire to resent his mother for abandoning him and his sister.

Her heart, having lost everything, was sealed in this sanctuary.

Losing the feelings of the object of venting, this feeling turns the soul into fuel and continues to burn.And in this continuously closed heart in flames, Garfield made an oath to himself.

"—The road leading to the outside world will never be opened by anyone."

Garfiel's trembling voice was anger, but also the residue of sadness and intense emotions, a flame that still burns to this day, burning itself to death.

"Blind change is not happiness. There are a lot of helpless guys! What should I do with these guys!"

"Isn't it right for these guys to feel sad when they became victims of happiness! Isn't it right to be like my sister and me!"

"I...I want to protect all of this!"

Garfiel stopped crying, as if she had found the reason for her existence here again, she raised her head to look at Subaru with tears still on her face, her gaze was filled with flames.

"Let me guard—everything within my reach, I will guard everything."

"Protect, protect, definitely protect... No one will lose anything... No one will have memories like my mother..."

"It's not like this kind of thing that can be dispelled through the so-called 'trial', I will become the enchantment! Really, it can separate the sanctuary from the outer enchantment!"

"The value of the so-called 'Shield of Sanctuary' lies here, this is my determination!"

"So, facing me like this, facing everything I want to protect! You who already know this, Subaru Natsuki, what else can you say!"

"Even if the sanctuary is indeed not as vast as the outside world, even if the inside of the sanctuary is like a closed prison. But as long as you don't go out, you won't be harmed, and as long as you don't go out, there will be no parting."

"Can you guarantee that you can protect the people around you forever? Can you guarantee that you can keep the people around you from any harm!?"

Knowing his own powerlessness, Garfiel roared, and at the same time seemed to be begging.The wound in the soul was torn open, and the act of pouring out his heart like vomiting his soul made the already heavy and scarred body even weaker.

Garfiel, the present she is actually begging Subaru, hoping that Subaru can understand herself like this.

"So... isn't it good to stay here honestly?"

"As long as you don't go out, there will be no dangers or difficulties. It's like that half-elf is trapped here. If you care about her, stay here and spend your life with her."

"Even though this place is indeed poor and backward, it is not as good as any other place outside. However, no change means no pain..."

"so……"

Panting heavily, Garfiel, who was a little short of oxygen due to the excitement, pressed his head weakly against Subaru's chest.

"So, don't change everything..."

What she has been avoiding, fearing, and resenting for a long time is not abandoning her mother, but the parting that happened because she was trying to move forward to the future but wanted to change.

She doesn't want this to happen again, and she doesn't want anyone else to experience the same pain as her.

"Garfield..."

Subaru sighed, and said in a low voice, "You're, you're such an idiot."

"One, an idiot like me."

Chapter 445

"What do you want to do, what do you want to protect, even if you think that something can only be protected if it remains unchanged, if you don't say it, no one will understand it, and if you don't say it, it will be useless what."