Shanghai Jiamu

Since that time, the frequency of chatting with Xu Jiamu has become more and more frequent, and the content is not limited to reading, we chat about everything. When I saw a cloud with a strange shape, I would take a picture and share it with him, and he would take pictures with his classmates when he had dinner with me.

His image in my mind becomes more and more concrete day by day. I know that he got into No. 4 Middle School because of slipping; I know that he loves literature, but hates exam-oriented education; Has harassed a lot of girls; I know he has a happy family, well off, and his parents love each other.

He's a really nice guy, I think so.

That was also the happiest period of time for me. Even my classmates said that my smile at that time was the most since I met me.

But maybe because the screen is always separated, communication only by text is limited after all, I have confidant feelings for him, but I don't know why it is always separated by a thin film.

until that day.

When I got home, I saw my mother sitting on the sofa with disheveled hair and red eyes, staring at the direction of the balcony. My father was sitting there, smoking a cigarette with his collar open, not talking.

Broken glass and porcelain all over the floor, no need to ask, it's another quarrel.

This is something I take for granted. I have no emotions, but feel very annoying. I walked to the bedroom alone and closed the door.

The moment the door was closed, the quarrel sounded again. In fact, I shouldn’t be sad. It’s been through countless times, right? Is that enough?" will suffice.

It's just that when I turned on the phone, Xu Jiamu updated his circle of friends, which was a photo of him and his parents.

In the photo, Xu Jiamu was standing behind his parents. His parents were holding hands with love in their eyes.

At that moment, I suddenly felt very sad.

Tears fell uncontrollably, I suddenly wanted to call Xu Jiamu, I wanted to ask him, how did you do it, how did you let your parents get along peacefully, how did you live such a happy life.

I thought so, and I did.

On the other end of the phone was his clear voice, with some doubts and surprises, "Primary school bully?"

I didn't speak, because I didn't know what to say, and my hands pressed the phone faster than my brain. what am i doing Looking for help from someone you don't know well and only met once?

I hugged my knees and cried silently. Sometimes I would selfishly think, let them fight, as long as there is a result, it will be fine. But I can't, those are my parents, and I don't want to lose any of them.

The voice of the WeChat phone rang again, it was Xu Jiamu. I pressed it, and it rang again, and I pressed it, and it rang again.

I was not as patient as him, so I had no choice but to answer the phone after blowing my nose.

"You've answered the phone."

"Why are you calling me?"

"...Hey, talk."

"...Did something happen to you?"

"If you don't speak again, I will call the police on the elementary school bully."

I finally said, "Don't, don't call the police, I'm fine."

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a few seconds, "...are you crying?"

His tone suddenly became much gentler, "What's the matter? Did someone mess with you?"

It was obviously a very common word, but I suddenly broke down emotionally and couldn't help crying, my voice was hoarse and crying, "Xu Jiamu, I'm so envious of you."

Xu Jiamu must have been stunned, he must have never seen a girl cry in front of him like this, even over the phone, his tone was a little bewildered. "You, are you okay? Do you envy me? What can I envy? I am not as good as you in elementary school. My parents still punish me today because I didn't study hard."

I cried even more when I heard this. How I wish my parents could spend the time of quarreling with my studies, even if they are afraid of me, I feel happy.

Before I could speak, there was the sound of things breaking in the living room, followed by a heated argument.

The sound was too loud, Xu Jiamu must have heard it, I was a little ashamed, the most difficult thing to say was my family, I covered the receiver, but it was still too late.

I especially don't want him to know, I want him to only remember the good side of me.

"Are your uncles and aunts fighting?"

I don't speak, it's the default.

"...Is there a fight?"

"Not yet." That means there might be a fight.

"Listen to me, primary school bully." His voice was trembling with pretending to be calm, probably because he had never experienced such a thing since he was a child, and he thought that there was another child who asked him for help, and he still had to Comfort me.

"I remember you said you have an older brother, right? You call him now and tell him to come back. You watch and tell them not to fight."

In fact, I have used the method he said a long time ago, but the shadow of my brother’s original family is also great. The first thing he did after finding a job was to rent a house and move out. It is useless to find him. He loves me and this family very much, but he really doesn't want to take care of these things anymore.

Why not.

But hearing Xu Jiamu say that, I still felt a great sense of comfort, I told him I would, and then hung up the phone.

He was still worried, and asked me to call him back after I solved it, and said that if I encountered this kind of thing again and was afraid, I could call him. He sent many WeChat messages in a row, and I scrolled through several pages and couldn't finish them.

There was a "pop", it should be that Dad couldn't bear it and went out first. That's good, I don't need to speak.

I was lying on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, with tears streaming from the corners of my eyes, which I wiped away.

Xu Jiamu, why are you so nice, are you always like this to everyone?

After that time, my relationship with Xu Jiamu is better than ever. I know he sympathizes with me, but I don't care. I just think there is one who can give you positive energy, comfort you, understand you, and share your feelings with you. What a joy it is to be a person with negative emotions.

I told him about my family situation. Last time I said that I envied him because he had a very happy family. He told me that he understood the impact of the original family, but he also believed that some people can use their own firm beliefs. Get rid of this shadow with the correct three views and become a good person.

He said he believed I was that kind of person.

That was the first time anyone told me that he believed in me and believed that I would be a good person.

After all, we are students, and we don't have much time to chat during the week. With the exam approaching, we spend most of our time on our own studies, and we have less and less contact.

My parents still quarrel every day, but I am no longer as obsessed with this matter as before, but more concerned about my own well-being. When they quarreled, I would close the door, turn up the volume of the earphones, read a book or chat with Xu Jiamu, at first Xu Jiamu would call me to comfort me worriedly, but later he got used to it more often Now, just chat with me quietly, and stay with me silently. Too much earphone volume is not good. After a long time, I always feel that I have a hearing problem. I can’t hear other people’s voice clearly. I have to ask several times. This problem persists to this day.

Fortunately, Xu Jiamu's voice always came along the earphone cable, very clear and pleasant to hear.