Shanghai Jiamu

To Xu Jiamu

See words like meeting.

I have now settled in Hangzhou. Although I have walked through this city thousands of times in my mind, when I actually arrived, I realized that what you said was right, it is a city that makes people feel more relaxed.

After graduating from high school, I seldom contacted you. The last time was the invitation you sent. I wanted to apologize to you on WeChat, but I might not be able to be there due to work reasons. But later I counted the days and found that there was still some time, so I thought about it, I, a sour person, might as well write a letter to show my sincerity.

Since I met you in the second day of junior high school, I have always regarded you as a confidant. I don’t know if you know that you and I met for the first time not in that English class, but you were playing on the playground when I was late on the same afternoon. I was surprised at the time Someone was so bold that he sneaked to the playground to play ball during class. I can't remember the details for a long time, I just remember that it was a bright day, and the spring is rare.

I am most grateful to you on the day of the first phone call. You are enthusiastic and have done many good deeds, but I still want to sincerely say thank you. You said that you believe that I will get rid of the influence of my original family and become a good enough person. I don't know if I have succeeded, but fortunately, I have never failed.

There was also the New Year’s Day, which is a coincidence. I took a picture of a beautiful firework at home that day. I wanted to share it with you, but I received your blessing in advance. Unfortunately, that video was only stored in the mobile phone at that time. The last time I returned When I got home, the old one couldn't be opened. When I have time, I will go to the repair shop and try it. I hope it will work. I still remember that in the video you were wearing a black down jacket and you were smiling silly. Apart from being happy, I was also a little worried about what would happen if the fire ignited your clothes. Alas, it seems that I am also quite stupid.

Xu Jiamu, the two fairy sticks in your hand that year were better than the tens of thousands of fireworks I watched later.

At that time, I always felt that I was young, and I also blamed you. I always said "you are still young", but in fact you are not very old, only three years older than me. If we get to know each other when we are older The difference is quite appropriate, but I was really naive at the time, and I thought that age was the only problem. Twenty-seven and thirty can be together, but seventeen and twenty cannot.

One more thing, that link should be one of the reasons you and I are drifting apart. I was somewhat shocked, as you know, I am timid and thin-skinned, I am sorry to scare you, I hope you will take more care of me.

Do you think that the first year of high school was the last time we met, but it was not, Xu Jiamu, I secretly went to meet you, right at the gate of your school, that was a bold move that exhausted all my courage, I looked at you Walking into the school gate with that girl, and seeing that everything is fine with you, I think it's fine.

There is no purpose in writing this letter, just to put an end to my youth. Xu Jiamu, I am grateful to you, thank you for being with me for so many years, making me feel that my time was special, since you have silently refused, I do not blame you.

It's just Xu Jiamu, you once shared with me a sentence of Zhang Jingxuan - "I didn't mourn the spring and autumn for you, and I don't deserve regret."

But how many times have I been sad for you, let me have a little regret.

Finally, I wish a happy wedding and a happy marriage for a hundred years.

Sincerely, my friend Jing Wei

"Jing Wei, you are writing a letter." The roommate came out of the bathroom and asked in surprise, "There are very few people writing letters these days."

I responded with a smile and stopped speaking. The second I closed the cap of the pen, I felt something pulled out of my body. It was sour, but more of it was an unspeakable ease.

"Are you going to mail it? I'll drive to the hospital and I can take you to the post office by the way."

I stared blankly at the envelope in my hand, do you want to send it? There is a desire in my heart telling me that I should send it out, not for anything else, but to ask for an answer for my own years. But after only a moment of hesitation, I had already made my decision.

"Thank you, no need, I just wrote it for fun, how can anyone read letters these days."

Putting myself in my shoes, if I were Xu Jiamu or the bride, I would not be happy to receive such a letter. I can never cause trouble for others for my own selfishness.

I opened the drawer and put this letter at the bottom of a pile of documents, opened WeChat, edited the message and sent it to the person signed by "Senior Xu".

"Sister-in-law is so beautiful! The cp I knocked on is finally married~ I couldn't go to the hospital that day and I won't go. Congratulations to the senior for embracing the beauty, happy wedding!"

Every trace of my entire youth is engraved with the same name. When I see the trees on the street and the clouds in the sky, I will think of him unconsciously. I remember the pearl milk tea he ordered for me, remember The fireworks he burned for me, those memories supported me through a period of time, and made me think that I was a special existence. When I was young, I often thought, is it possible? Even if it's one out of ten thousand, if I'm the heroine, I've said goodbye to him countless times, on the phone, on WeChat, and face to face, each time without any pressure, because I know there will be another time meet.

But this time is different, Xu Jiamu, this time I really want to say goodbye to you.

Goodbye, Xu Jiamu.

end of text