Cross-year difference (GL) + Fanwai

She walked along the small creek, reached the fork where the river diverges, found a thick tree, and sat down against the tree.This place is very secret, if you don't walk in, you can't find that there is another person inside just by looking from the outside.

Qin Shaoya waited behind the tree for a long time, but no one came at noon, so she ate a piece of bread and continued to read.

At about 02:30 in the afternoon, there was finally movement outside. Qin Shaoya heard the clicking sound of crushed branches, and quickly stuffed the book into the grass, turned over and looked out through the gaps in the grass blades.

Looking at this, Qin Shaoya felt very uncomfortable.

The result she least wanted had finally become a reality.

Wearing a solemn black dress, Yan Zicheng walked to the fork of the ditch and squatted down slowly.

She took out two pocket incense candles from her bag, inserted them into a small soil bag next to the ditch, and lit them with a lighter.

"Carnation, Marlboro, the master is here to see you."

Hearing what Yan Zicheng said, Qin Shaoya's eye sockets couldn't help getting moist, and she wiped her eyes.

Yan Zicheng opened a sealed bag, which was filled with dried shrimps.She took two small dried shrimps, sprinkled them into the ditch, and said sadly: "I hope you can live freely in heaven, instead of being popular all your life in a small fish tank."

She sighed, and said quietly: "I, I don't know how many years it is. I was supposed to be 28, but when I came here, it took another eleven or twelve years. It is reasonable to say that I am almost forty. But why is it so easy to be stupid?"

Yan Zicheng sprinkled two more small dried shrimps, and said, "Hey, although I am worried here, at least I have finished my studies, have a job, and made money. The most important thing is that my father is still alive. That's enough. If I If I had come here a few years earlier, I might have been able to save you all."

Qin Shaoya wiped away tears, swallowed a mouthful of saliva, and walked out softly.

Yan Zicheng turned his head suddenly, and was surprised to see Qin Shaoya standing behind her.

Qin Shaoya looked at her, and said in a calm tone, unhurriedly: "When I was seven years old, my father was busy with work and had no time to accompany me, so he bought two brocade crucian carp and lied to me that it was because my mother missed me." It was a gift for me. At that time, I was so stupid, I always thought it was true, so I kept the fish as a treasure."

Yan Zicheng opened his mouth, but unfortunately his chest was on fire and he couldn't say a word.

"The fish died later, and I kept their bones and put them in this ditch when I go to the grave during the Chinese New Year. Every year, I come to this fork to burn incense for them."

Yan Zicheng sighed and closed his eyes.

Qin Shaoya frowned hard, and her voice became hoarse: "No one knows about this except me!"

The author has something to say: the brocade crucian carp I raised died in the seventh year because of pesticides.I was not at home at that time, and I felt deeply guilty when I heard what my mother said.

I think some fish are spiritual.

The fish in my family will come out of the water and swim towards me when they see me a few meters away. My mother said that it is because the fish are used to being fed by people, but in fact they only do that when they see me.The mother also takes care of them, but the fish are never close to her, most of the time they hide in the rocks.

Another example of them slurping my fingers but dismissing everyone else (perhaps just trying to eat me?).

Probably because I take care of them the longest, and I always like to nag them (laughs)

Chapter 47

Suddenly it was very quiet, as if time had been frozen for a few seconds.

Yan Zicheng patted the hem of his skirt, stood up with his bag in hand, "Well, you are quite caring."

Qin Shaoya looked at her with a complicated expression: "Don't you want to explain something?"

"Ah... I'm going for a walk, I'll pass by here, just take a look."

Obviously, even a fool would not believe what she said.

Qin Shaoya said: "I heard what you said just now."

"I seem to have said a lot in a mess, hey, I didn't say anything. Haha, look at my memory, I forget it when I turn around..." Yan Zicheng said haha, and his voice became louder and louder as he spoke. It got smaller and smaller and stopped slowly.

Her gaze returned to Qin Shaoya's face, Qin Shaoya was so angry that her face and neck were burning red.

Yan Zicheng didn't know what to call her for a moment.Most people can't imagine the scene of standing in front of another self and calling their own name, and the mood at that time.Maybe some people think it’s good to be face to face with themselves, but in fact, it’s a horrible thing to think about it carefully—it’s like putting a puppet that looks exactly like you, looking at you with its eyes open, and you don’t know what’s next for you what happens.

This state is more appropriate to describe Qin Shaoya's current heart.

Qin Shaoya suppressed the urge to retreat strongly, and asked her: "What the hell are you? What do you want to do? Why do you want to come to me?"

To be honest, Yan Zicheng was quite sad when he heard Qin Shaoya ask this question.

But it's an old bone, and it's not a girl in the cardamom age, how can she get into these horns?

Yan Zicheng said: "Don't worry, I'm not a monster, nor a biological-chemical-weapon. I won't hurt you or anyone else."

Qin Shaoya was overly nervous, unable to form a sentence: "You are not a monster, I heard what you just said. If you are not, then what am I? What the hell is going on..." She grabbed her collar : "Because of this, did you say you can't be with me?!"

Yan Zicheng was silent for a while, then smiled slightly: "Yes. I don't need to lie to you, that's the reason."

Qin Shaoya tried her best to calm herself down, organize her thoughts, and said in a low voice, "Talk to me carefully, and I will listen to you carefully. You have your thoughts, and I have mine. Things must be what we think They're all different... Anyway, tell me first."

Yan Zicheng struggled for a while, weighing the pros and cons in his mind.For a moment she wanted to erase Qin Shaoya's memory and run away, but in the next second she immediately denied this idea, that would be too irresponsible, to put it nicely, it was to deal with the problem conveniently, to put it badly, it was to escape.Evasion is a sign of incompetence.

And all these years of life, every little bit, is all rubbed in her heart, even if someone's memory is erased, once the interaction of life happens, it cannot be erased.Even if it is eliminated, even if it is forgotten, what happened is what happened.

But how should I explain this kind of thing to Qin Shaoya?To confess, or not to confess?

"If you think I will give up because of this kind of thing, or deliberately scare me with scaremongering, I will despise you."

"Eh?"

Qin Shaoya looked down at the leaves floating in the ditch: "I can probably guess what you are thinking now."

Yan Zicheng had a headache, it was true.No matter how old a person is or how his way of thinking improves, the essence will not change.

Qin Shaoya said: "You must be wondering whether to tell me the truth, how I will react after telling me, and how it will affect you. Oh, you must have thought about deleting my memory just now."

"Uh." Well, all hits.

"I've said it before. You talk about it first. It's up to me to judge after I finish. I'm not a child who can't manage things anymore. I won't cry or make trouble. Don't worry."

Yan Zicheng was still hesitating.

"I guess Brother Xiaoyuan knows the truth about you."

Yan Zicheng's hairs almost stood on end.

Qin Shaoya smiled: "No wonder he always wants us to be together, that is to say, there are some restraint conditions between you, and he can only get any benefit if we are tied together, isn't it?"

Yan Zicheng cursed in his heart, this You Xiaoyuan knew that sooner or later he would do something bad!

Qin Shaoya said: "Since this is the case, I feel that many situations are not as bad as you think." At the end, he added: "As a person, it is easy for me to stick to things I don't want to accept, refuse to admit it, or even take the initiative Ignore many objective truths." The implication is that Yan Zicheng is doing exactly that now.

"..."

"Aren't you willing to say it? Or, you dare not say it? Are you embarrassed to say it? Why are you ashamed to say it? Oh, I see. The most fundamental reason is that you dare not face me after you are afraid of revealing the truth. Don't dare to face yourself. But you know me best, don't you?

"Even if you don't say it, you are willing to admit it, the facts still exist, and this cannot be changed. You said when you threw the shrimp just now, you are fine, you have finished your studies, you have a job, and your father is still alive. This should be the trajectory of my life. Right? In other words, you haven't finished your studies, you don't have a job, and your dad... is gone.

"Is that the future I was supposed to have? Oh, actually, if you think about it carefully, if it weren't for you, I would have been so hostile at that time, and I wouldn't have studied hard at all, and I didn't understand Dad's hard work... ..”

Listening, Yan Zicheng's eyes became sore, she looked up at the sky, her voice was hoarse: "I am already Yan Zicheng."

"I know."

Yan Zicheng hesitated for a long time, but he still said something slowly: "A few years later, I was in a car accident and almost died. In fact, I should have died, but a magician saved me, and I woke up. back here in time."