Lin Nianyouran gl

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Then, I picked up the phone and called her and said I was going to find her.But she said that she didn't have time to pick me up at the station at this time, and comforted me that there would be a chance to meet in the future, so I wasn't in a hurry.

I had no choice but to put down the phone sullenly and go sad alone...

The gift I wanted to give her was not sent out in the end. So far, it is still lying quietly in my home.I also sent her a text message to ask her to guess what I bought her. She guessed for a long time and said it was a book.

I haven’t been in touch with her for a long time, and I don’t know what she likes for a long time. How can I buy her a book? It’s just that the character on the key ring is what she told me she likes, and for a while, That character is also on her head portrait, so I really wanted to give it to her.

Unfortunately, there is no chance again!!

I don't know how I felt when I went back again.All I know is that when the train passes her city and stops for a few minutes, I really want to jump off the train and go to her.

But I know, I can't!! She has her own things to do, so she doesn't have time to talk to me, and I also have my own things to do, so I can't be so willful.So I can only endure, endure myself not to think about it anymore, endure all my heartache and loss.

No one knows how sad I am, I hate! But I don’t know who to hate... I can’t hate the relative who bought the ticket for me, after all, they have good intentions, but I can’t hate Youran, I want to protect her. How could it be possible to blame her again?

Then who should I hate? Hate myself? But what did I do wrong? Perhaps, the only thing I did wrong in my life is that I really fell in love with Youran! If I fall in love with you, that will always require me to go The one I follow, the one who will never fall in love with me...

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Mid-Autumn Festival special update, I wish you all a happy Mid-Autumn Festival!!

Chapter 9 When Goodbye (Part [-])

When I was writing these words, I often thought that if Youran wrote it with my own hand, it would definitely not be as full of strong sadness as what I wrote.

Her words are always full of vigor and vitality, and full of endless joy. Seeing her words is like seeing her, standing in front of you, smiling sweetly at you, bouncing around Say those cheerful words.

But, I'm not her after all... I don't have her vitality, I don't have her ability to make people's hearts warm.I think, I know why she has so many friends.

That's because she is a beam of light, a beam of light that can warm the earth and illuminate people's hearts!!

It's a pity that she and I have nothing to do with each other after all...

Thinking back to elementary school, when I was in the classroom, I often wondered if she would come to me.A little movement outside the classroom, even a door blown open by the wind, will give me endless associations...

I know that I depend too much on her, but I can't help it. If I was not illuminated by her beam of light at that time, I'm afraid I would have withered already!!

Since I completely lost news of her, I have been living in chaos all day long. However, I know her account number, so I often go online to find her.

Although most of the time, it is still her classmates who are online, but every time I see her avatar light up, I will still be very happy.It's just that she has been around for a long time, and there is no room for updates!!

Every update of the space is done by herself. I don't know if she is invisible when she goes online on weekdays, but I haven't seen her go online during the limited time online.

I don't know how long it took, but there were only a few comments in her space, and they were all posted during the period when I was not online...

I have to say that fate made a mistake, every time, it pushed her away from me, and every time, when I tried my best to keep her, fate would play a big joke on me!!

And all this, I can only suffer in silence.It is impossible for me to put everything down to find her. I am not young anymore, but I have no money, and I have never been truly independent by myself. Besides, even if I go to find her, I don’t know where she is now. I don’t know, how can I find it??

I really want to leave it like this! Even if I just look at her occasionally on the Internet, that's all.However, something happened not long after that made me completely lose her...

I remember that afternoon, when I was chatting with my colleagues, they talked about the camera function of @@space, and they could tell whether the other party had deleted you as a friend.

So, at night, I started playing with that.In fact, it's not to see who deleted me, it's just for fun.I found a few friends to take a photo together, and then I thought of Youran, and wanted to take a photo with her, even if it was just a photo of her profile picture...

To be honest, I never took a photo with Youran, I just put my photo in an envelope and sent it to her, and I sent several photos in a row.And here, I have a photo she gave me, and I found many personal photos of her in her space.

So, that day, when I opened Youran, I was almost surprised and disappointed.Youran! She has deleted me...

At that time, feeling sad, I told my friends in the group about this matter.After they found out, they asked me to delete her too!!

I was really sad at the time. Thinking about it carefully, although she was very kind to me, time has changed, and it has been ten years. I have no contact with her. If I continue to be like this, I am just deceiving myself.

Although she and I are important, we don't have the same feeling of attachment as before.What's more, she deleted me, even though she didn't necessarily know it was me, but I still had the same mentality of revenge on her, and under the constant conflict in my heart, I still deleted her...

The moment I clicked OK to delete, I didn't know what it was like.I'm just holding back so that I don't cry, and if my parents find out, I don't even know how to explain it.

My parents know that I am good friends with her, but they don't know that I am so attached to her, so it's better not to let them know about many things!

I know that I have been suppressing sadness that day.I saw that my mother seemed to want to ask me, but in the end she didn't say anything.

I'm glad she didn't ask, otherwise, I don't know if I would cry on the spot...

Sad, only one day.By the time the sun came up the next day, I'd be fine.To be honest, I hate myself for being so ruthless and ungrateful.Although she is no longer so important to me!!

Is it really not important? But why, I will regret, feel sad, and think about her every day for the next year??

Not long after I deleted her, I really started to regret it.Because, this means that I will no longer be able to find her, and I will no longer be able to see the dynamics in her space.

I didn’t dare to write her name in the photos transferred from her space to mine before, because I was afraid that others would find out who she was.Yes, I am very cowardly. I am cowardly and dare not let others know what I like, and dare not let her name appear in a place where others can see it.

I even, cowardly dare not go to her again.At that time, if I wanted to look for it, I should still be able to get news of her!! It's just that I was afraid, I was afraid that she would bother me, and felt that I would be haunted by a ghost, chasing her wherever I went, and making her restless.

I was even more afraid, afraid that after I found her, I would be as indifferent to her as before and make her even more disheartened towards me.

Forget it, I said to myself.Let's give each other some leeway! Even if we never see each other again, I will let her live in peace.

However, in those days when I couldn't see her, I often heard people say that when people get old, they will miss the past when they were young more and more.If she can still think of our original story when she is old, I will be satisfied.