where did the ancestors go

Yu Tang was sitting in the first row of seats at the auction site with a cloth bag slung across his shoulders. He didn't know how much Asen spent to buy it.Surrounded by white-skinned foreigners and rich foreigners.Some came with friends, some with lovers, some with their own wives, and some with other people's wives.Yu Tang is different from them, Yu Tang was brought here.

On the auction stage in front of him, a foreigner with neat beards was holding a small wooden hammer, apparently he was an auctioneer.They all spoke crappy dialect English of the Empire on which the sun never sets, but Yu Tang learned authentic Chinese English, so he couldn't understand them.But I can hear two words "China" and "Chinese" repeatedly, and then look at the pictures of cultural relics on the auction booklet. Needless to say, they must have been snatched from China in modern times.Looking at these cultural relics, for some reason, Yu Tang's nose was a little sour, and he muttered, "Damn, these foreign monkeys don't have any good things. If God has eyes, let them have sons without asses." !"

Asen heard it from the side, he was startled, and quickly whispered: "Master, don't be so uncivilized, pay attention to your quality in public places."

"I'm not civilized? This group of foreigners robbed our house and then auctioned it here like a dog. Are they civilized?" Yu Tang argued loudly, attracting contemptuous looks from a group of foreigners.Although they couldn't understand what Yu Tang was saying, they could tell it was Chinese.

"Master, there's no need to mention these things anymore. It's the 21st century now. This is a legal auction." Asen persuaded Yu Tang not to be angry.

Yu Tang snorted coldly and said, "Yes, for a legal auction, you would even have to spend money to buy it for your own ancestors, and you don't know which country's law it complies with."

Asen was stunned speechless, so he had to bow his head in silence.Yu Tang also felt that it was boring to be self-inflicted, and wondered when he was so righteous to the nation.It may be because of the occasion of the auction, seeing national treasures full of oriental civilization being held in the hands of foreigners, I was stimulated.

At this time, the English words echoing in the auction hall were like a lullaby, causing Yu Tang to fall into a drowsy sleep full of such powerlessness and insignificant anger.I had a dream, dreaming that the king of the Great [Heaven] Dynasty opened the gates of the European powers with a strong ship and sharp guns.I became a general with a saber, commanded the Volunteer Army to move back national treasures, demolished the Eiffel Tower to sell iron, pulled down the Arc de Triomphe to build real estate, tied a rope to Big Ben to swing, drained the Rhine River to catch bastards, and taught at Cambridge University They are all bald gourds from the Manchu Qing Dynasty, and after holding back their shit in the end, they requisitioned the fighter planes of the Empire on which the sun never sets and flew to the Yasukuni Shrine to shit, and even borrowed paper from the emperor!

The saliva in Yu Tangmei's dream flowed out from the corner of her mouth, and she was suddenly woken up by someone, "Master, wake up, it's my ancestor!"

Yu Tang let out a bewildered "ah", looked left and right, and finally his eyes fell on a corpse in front of him.He was about to jump up and pull out the mahogany sword to fight the zombie, when he suddenly remembered that this was Asen's ancestor, and it was being auctioned.

I saw this zombie was tall and old, and the dark blue court clothes unique to the Qing Dynasty exuded a gloomy air, and a wrinkled corpse-resisting amulet was stuck to his forehead.The eye feathers on the top of the head are still well preserved, which makes the whole corpse look particularly aristocratic, the big belor of the Qing Dynasty—the zombie Narsu!

The man who once slept with the prodigal old lady Cixi!

The auctioneer was still chattering in English, while Asen explained: "He's introducing my ancestors. They even know about the affair with Lafayette Cixi. They also compare it with Western vampires. Master, you Who is more powerful, my ancestor or the vampire?"

Yu Tangxin said that I have never seen a vampire before, so I don't know if a vampire is powerful or not.But zombies are definitely second to none in China's ghost system.Yu Tang said: "It must be that the zombies in our great China are powerful, you have to believe in your ancestors!"

"But vampires can fly, can't my ancestors fly?" Asen said.

"Tch, your ancestors will fly one day sooner or later, just wait." Yu Tang said that this means that the zombies will become flying stiff after a long time of cultivation, and their power will increase greatly.It's just that Asen didn't know this knowledge, so he thought Yu Tang was perfunctory him.

On the other side, after the auctioneer introduced the zombies, he entered the most important part of the auction. The starting price was 9 pounds, and Asen hurriedly started bidding.At the beginning, there were three or five bidders, but when the price increased to [-], there were not many people left, only Asen and another British man with a hook nose in a dark blue suit were left.

Asen hurriedly raised the price, "One hundred thousand!"

"11 million!"

"12 million!"

"13 million!"

"15!" Hooked Nose directly raised [-].

Asen had no choice but to raise his placard again: "16."

"18!" Hooked Nose raised another [-] easily.

Obviously the price at this time has exceeded Asen's expectations, but he still gritted his teeth and held up a sign, "20!"

Just as the hooked nose was about to continue to increase the price, Asen hurriedly signaled him to wait, then ran over, asked the person next to him to change seats, and sat next to him, smiling all over his face, and told him a bunch of things British words.The hooked nose was obviously not moved, and he replied a bunch of English words to Asen, and Asen's face lost instantly.

Yu Tang got up and walked over, patted Asen on the shoulder, and asked, "What did this gringo say?"

"Master, I told him that this is my ancestor, and begged him to give it to me. But he said he didn't believe it, unless we can revive the corpse, he would believe it was my ancestor." Asen's face was depressed, it seemed that Already gave up.

Yu Tang frowned, pointed at the hooked nose and said, "Tell this guy, I can bring the corpse back to life, and tell him to see clearly the holes under his eyebrows!"

After hearing this, Asen gasped for a while, "Master, can you resurrect my ancestor?"

Yu Tang: "Nonsense, you paid me to come here, of course I will do things for you."

Asen's eyes glowed, hope was rekindled, and he excitedly translated to the hooked nose.The hooked nose looked at Yu Tang suspiciously, and Yu Tang subconsciously blurted out, "What are you looking at!"

Hooked Nose spread his hands, expressing that he did not understand what Yu Tang said.Yu Tang squinted at him, then suddenly stretched out his right hand, with a smirk on his face, "Holle, ghost, your conscience is big big and bad!"

The hooked nose looked at Yu Tang in a daze, but politely extended his right hand to shake Yu Tang's hand.Yu Tang took the opportunity to pat the hooked nose's shoulder with his left hand, "Your shoulder is too buried, dad help you flick the ashes."

The hooked nose was completely confused by Yu Tang's Chinese English, and he frowned and twisted his nose to look at him.Yu Tang withdrew his hand, turned around and said to Asen, "Don't worry, I'm here for everything, and I will definitely let you embrace your ancestors."

Emotions surged in Asen's heart, and his nose suddenly became sore, "Master, thank you."

Yu Tang smiled slightly, and walked up to the zombie under everyone's gaze. First, he spread a roll of yellow cloth on the ground, and the Big Dipper array was drawn on the yellow cloth.Then he signaled the staff to move the zombies to the yellow cloth, because everyone wanted to see Yu Tang revive the ancient corpse, so the auctioneer acquiesced in Yu Tang's behavior.

The zombie was brought down, and Yu Tang also took out an apricot-yellow Taoist robe from his cloth pocket and put it on.This set of Taoist robes has a special name, called Bagua Immortal Clothes.Wear a hat again, the hat is called Chunyang scarf, the bottom of the hat is round, and the top slope is flat; The number represents the Taoist meaning of "Nine Turns Returning Pills", so it is also called Jiuliang Scarf.There is also a Tai Chi Yin Yang figure in the middle of the hat, and two long straps on the back.

Yu Tang squatted next to the zombie, holding a mahogany sword in one hand, and tore off the corpse-repelling charm on the zombie's forehead with the other.Then he pressed the sword finger of his left hand on the lattice of the mahogany sword. There was a blade on the lattice with the edge facing outward, which was specially made by Yu Tang.Most of the Sanqing's spells use blood as a guide. Whether it is biting his tongue or fingers, Yu Tang feels pain, so there is no reason to bite himself.So he clamped a blade on the mahogany sword, and when he needed to use blood, he cut it. It was better to cut than to bite.

After making a cut, Yu Tang pinched his sword finger and squeezed out two drops of blood. The blood fell on the zombie's shriveled lips and was instantly absorbed.Yu Tang didn't dare to drop more, he knew that no amount of blood would be enough for the zombie to drink, and these two drops were enough to wake him up.

Looking at the zombie at this time, the shriveled lips were puffed up, and the chest was slightly heaving, everything was expected by Tang.

Yu Tang looked at the crowd, and said in his grammar that foreigners can't understand and Chinese people can probably understand: "Let you look at this group of foreigners, what is the three Qingdao method!"

Yu Tang squeezed the sword formula in his hand, tapped it in the middle of the zombie's forehead, and then said: "Heaven and earth are boundless, the universe borrows the law, soldier!"

Yu Tang shouted again: "Get up!"

Then look at the zombie standing up "duang" like a spring.Because the zombie's legs can't be bent, the zombie goes from lying flat to standing upright at a 90° angle, and the picture can't be more shocking.The foreigners in the auction hall exclaimed, even Asen didn't expect that his ancestor who had been dead for hundreds of years could still stand up.

A smirk curled up at the corner of Yu Tang's mouth, and a strand of hair was caught between the sword fingers of his left hand, which fell from his suit when he patted the hooked nose on the shoulder just now.Yu Tang put this hair under the zombie's nose, and then tapped the zombie's neck twice with his right hand. The zombie's nose twitched, and the hair on the sword finger was sucked into the body through the nose.

At the same time, the zombie's eyes opened, the corners of the eyes turned red, and everyone in the auction hall let out another exclamation.Yu Tang and him looked at each other, and found that the zombie's eyes did not reflect his shadow at all, but the aquiline nose. He couldn't help laughing, walked around behind the zombie, and whispered a mantra, "The black hair enters the liver and intestines, and the creditor will die. Corpses are walking around the world, and there is nothing to hold. Hurry like a law!"

The command was issued, and the zombie leapt forward, and jumped in front of the hooked nose in one step.What he did frightened everyone in the auction hall, and they all ran back together.Hooked Nose also wanted to run, but it was too late, the zombie grabbed him fiercely, opened its mouth to show its fangs, and was about to bite his neck to suck blood.Yu Tang rushed over at this time, put the mahogany sword in the zombie's mouth, caught his fangs, took out another Sanqing Talisman, and stuck it on the zombie's forehead, and the zombie immediately stopped moving.

Although he hates foreigners, Yu Tang can still grasp the scale very well if he can't kill people.He looked at the hooked nose that was still held by the zombies, and said with a smile, "Are you OK?"

The hooked nose understood this sentence, shook his head hastily, and called "Helpme!"

Yu Tang beckoned A Sen to come over and said, "A Sen, translate for the translator and ask him if he accepts it, and if he will steal his ancestor from you? If he doesn't give up, I will ask your ancestor to kill him and turn him into a zombie. Let's take him back to Tieling, China, and hold an auction to sell foreign zombies."

Asen chuckled, of course he wouldn't translate according to what Yu Tang said, he said a few words to Yinggoubi, and Yinggoubi nodded frantically like a chicken pecking at rice.A Sen was very happy, and said: "Master, he said he won't buy it, the ancestor belongs to us."

Yu Tang nodded in satisfaction, and stretched out his hand to take off the Sanqing Talisman. The zombie moved again, making the hooked nose scream strangely in fright.Yu Tang drew back the mahogany sword and hit the zombie on the chest. The zombie was kicked back a few steps and let go of the hooked nose. Come out with three clear bells, shake the bell, and jingle.When the bell rings, the zombie jumps forward with its arms outstretched, and when the bell rings, it jumps one step forward.

Yu Tang told Asen to pay the money and leave, and then took the zombie out of the auction hall.

The foreigners were stunned. Others would carry or move the cultural relics after they bought them. The Chinese were lucky enough to let the cultural relics go away by themselves.

On the street outside the auction hall, countless people shouted and shouted in fancy costumes, their faces painted gaudy.Yu Tang was taken aback, and asked, "Oh my god, what are these people doing playing tricks?"

Asen replied: "Master, this is a ghost festival for foreigners, so you don't have to worry about it. Wait for me, I'll go and drive the car over."

After speaking, Asen left, leaving Yu Tang and the zombie standing by the street.Yu Tang frowned, looked at the strangely dressed foreigners on the street, couldn't appreciate it, and muttered, "It's not good to pretend to be a ghost, but I'm not afraid of becoming a ghost."

Although Yu Tang is Mr. Yin and Yang and is not afraid of ghosts, ghosts are still taboo in Chinese traditional concepts, and they are always respected and kept at a distance.He is very puzzled by the festival customs of western countries, and he already hates foreigners, so he is inevitably biased.

After waiting for five or six minutes, but A Sen had not come back, Yu Tang became a little anxious.It wasn't that he was impatient, but that he was dressed in Taoist robes and the zombie was dressed in Qing Dynasty official uniform, making these foreigners think that he and the zombie were also here to celebrate the festival.Two foreign girls came up to compare Yu Tang and the zombie, and even touched the zombie.Afraid of accidents, Yu Tang tried to stop them with a black face, but after they left and came again, Yu Tang was annoyed to death.

It should have happened tonight, a foreign kid passed by them on a broken bicycle, and kept ringing the bell to signal others to make way for him.The clear ringing of the bicycle bell reached the zombie's ears, and the zombie followed the bicycle and ran away.Yu Tang hurriedly chased after him, but there were too many people on the street, and some people always ran up to him enthusiastically to say hello to him, a Chinese.Yu Tang is considered short among Chinese, but even shorter in front of foreigners. The people who greeted him completely blocked his sight.After Tang pushed them away, the zombies were gone.

Yu Tang flickered for a moment, oh my god, I lost Asen's ancestors!

But he immediately comforted himself, no, it was less than 1 minute, and he definitely couldn't go far.But I have to make sure that I can't let the zombies hurt people, otherwise these gringos who pretend to be ghosts will really become ghosts!

Thinking of this, Yu Tang took out a small scarecrow and ink fountain thread from his cloth pocket, and a Sanqing Talisman was also pasted on the head of the little scarecrow.He wrapped the little scarecrow's arm with ink fountain thread, and muttered: "Look at me binding your hands, so you can't hurt anyone."

On the other side, in a small alley next to the street, three big black men held the zombie between them, pressed the zombie against the wall, and spoke English to him.One of the black men had a knife in his hand, apparently from a robbery.It's just that the zombie didn't move or make a sound.The three blacks glanced at each other, thinking that this yellow-skinned Asian was a bit strange.

The black man with the knife waved the shiny knife in front of the zombie, threatening to stab him if he didn't take the money.Of course the zombies would ignore him, there was no reaction at all.

The black man felt that he was being despised, so he stabbed the zombie's thigh with a knife, but the knife didn't go in, and it was bent.

The three blacks widened their eyes and said "wow" in unison, feeling that it was incredible.

The three of them watched the zombie carefully from head to toe again.

A black man sneezed suddenly, and as if he was a child, he tore off the three-clearing talisman on the zombie's forehead and wiped his nose.He was destined to pay the price for this bad and stupid behavior. Without the suppression of the corpse charm, the zombie flicked his arm and hit him against the wall.The other two blacks saw that the zombie was making a move, and thought they were going to fight, so they rushed forward, but they were thrown to the wall one by one by the zombies.

The zombie's hands were tied by Yu Tang, and he couldn't choke people, so he couldn't bite people.But he didn't want to let the three blacks go, so he swung them against the wall over and over again with his arms, like throwing cannons.

Yu Tang here was looking for zombies in the crowd with a little scarecrow. Suddenly, the strong man behind him pushed him, and the big-breasted girl on the left squeezed him again.Yu Tang felt as if he had hit a mountain, his feet were unsteady, his body was shaking, and the scarecrow girl in his hand fell to the ground with a "crack".Coincidentally, a fat man cos Doraemon came over and crushed the scarecrow.When Tang picked it up, the scarecrow had only its body and legs left scattered.

On the other side, because the scarecrow was trampled, the zombie lost Yu Tang's control and could move his hands.He grabbed the black man's shoulder and opened his mouth to bite his neck to suck blood. At this time, the black man realized that this is not a living person!

He closed his eyes and was about to die, when Yu Tang appeared, stretched out his hand, and re-attached the Zhang Sanqing Town Corpse Talisman, and the zombie was immobilized again.Yu Tang looked at the three obedient black men beaten by zombies, and muttered, "People don't commit ghosts, and ghosts don't bother people."

After speaking, he shook the Sanqing bell and left with the zombie.

Yu Tang returned to the original street, and Asen was driving around in a red convertible looking for them.When he saw Yu Tang coming back, he breathed a sigh of relief, stopped the car, and complained: "Master, don't take my ancestor for a stroll, what should I do if I lose my ancestor!"

Yu Tang: "It was your ancestor who ran away with her when he saw the big-breasted girl, and I managed to find it after all the hard work."

"Master, don't bully my ancestor who can't speak. He looks like this. How could he still chase girls?" Asen said, hugging the zombie's leg.

Yu Tang asked curiously, "A Sen, what are you doing?"

"Hold my ancestor into the car, master come to help, the ancestor is too heavy." Asen pouted his buttocks and tried his best to not hug him.

Yu Tang patted Asen's butt, "Get away."

Asen hid aside, clutching his buttocks, and was about to ask why he spanked him when he saw Yutang shaking the Sanqingling on the back seat of the convertible.As soon as the bell rang, my ancestor jumped into the car with a whoosh.

"Wow, my ancestor is so powerful!"

"Yeah, I'm amazing."

"Master, don't take advantage of me!"

"No way, I'm an upright and kind-hearted youth."

"Master, anyway, I still want to thank you."

"Don't thank me in a hurry, we will say thank you when we return to Hong Kong. By the way, did you buy a plane ticket for your ancestor? Does he have a passport? Does he have to check it in?"

"Master, you don't have to worry about this. I rented a small plane and we will fly back tomorrow morning."

The author has something to say:

Please support please advise, thank you.The other two books "The Story of Stealing the Horse and the Golden Gun" and "The Picture of the Fox Blowing the Lamp", please support and advise, thank you.