fear of intimacy

Chen Shu sat up suddenly: "Why didn't you tell me when we arrived?"

Zhou Xu looked Chen Shu up and down: "The disinfection pool where you have been wearing clothes?"

"I haven't been in the disinfection pool!" Chen Shu retorted.And I'm dressed to go out and pick you up!

Facing Zhou Xu, who was neatly dressed and only had a pair of swimming trunks left, Chen Shu had the self-awareness of a gentle scum, and immediately walked into the dressing room.

As an actor, although he sometimes accepts roles that require martial arts, Chen Shu's body does not have obvious muscle lines in general, but looks tight because of his thinness.He walked down the corridor with a towel around his neck, the faint heat of his skin reminding him that he was being watched.

Walking along the gravel road into the evergreen arbor forest, the paths on both sides extend into different small soup ponds.

Chen Shu forgot to ask Xiao Peng which one they went to. "It's not necessary to squeeze together, just pick one at random." He asked Zhou Xu for his opinion.

Zhou Xu said "hmm" and had no objection.

Chen Shu picked a path planted with rosemary, and he could smell the slightly bitter fragrance from the porch.Rosemary is an excellent flower-viewing plant in winter, and it can also refresh the mind when planted by the hot springs. Small purple-blue flowers are clustered among the fleshy thread leaves, and a lush path is spread along the footsteps.

The temperature of the air near the hot spring rose, which temporarily soothed the frozen goosebumps on Chen Shu's arms.

Chen Shu stood next to Zhou Xu, feeling that Zhou Xu's body temperature was lower than his own, and asked sincerely, "Aren't you cold?"

They put the towels on the rack and slid into the hot spring pool feeling the stone moss.Surrounded by heat, it is so comfortable that people want to breathe out a mouthful of stale air.

"I sometimes go swimming in winter." Zhou Xu replied leaning against the pool wall.

Chen Shu's whole body was buried in the warm spring water, only his eyes were exposed, which couldn't be opened by the bubbles produced by his underwater exhalation.He touched the slippery pebbles on the wall of the pool, and half-floating and half-swimming moved to Zhou Xu's side.

"..." Chen Shu emerged from the water and wiped his blushing face, "Really? Winter swimming, you really have perseverance."

"The school's swimming lessons, there is no heated swimming pool."

Chen Shu froze for a few seconds, then laughed.

Zhou Xu also smiled, the corners of his lips seemed to be softened by steam.

The dense forest fringes of the Ficus xiaoye keep out the wind and the peeping sight.In the mist-floating hot spring pool, Chen Shu leaned on the pebbles with his back relaxed, chatting with Zhou Xu one after another.

Most of the time, Chen Shu told Zhou Xu his acting experience from childhood to adulthood.Chen Shu's first role was as an apprentice in a costume drama. At that time, he was still in elementary school, and he accompanied his friends in the class to audition. The director asked him to perform the scene of seeing off his relatives. In the end, he cried tears and tears. He was not selected, but he fell in love with the handsome young Chen Shu.

Zhou Xu said that he was boasting that he was a natural actor.Chen Shu was not ashamed to say that my grades in acting are as good as Mr. Zhou's grades in psychology.

But Zhou Xu never thought that he would major in psychology until the end of the college entrance examination.

"Thinking about it now, it may also have the influence of my mother. I later recalled my mother's uncertain emotions when I was a child, and I realized that it was her struggling with depression. At that time, I couldn't do anything for her. I chose psychology. It’s a compensatory mentality.”

Zhou Xuyin's face was blurred behind the fog.

Chen Shu asked, "Did your mother see a psychiatrist?"

"I've seen it," Zhou Xu said, "I asked my dad for the doctor's business card. But the clinic has moved away, and the phone number has changed, so I can't get in touch for a long time."

The psychiatrist in the reasoning variety show script was also listed as one of the murder suspects by Zhou Xu.

Chen Shu moved his hands after soaking in the hot pool, picked up a handful of water, buried his cold face in it, and made his frozen brain come alive: "Mr. Zhou, you are really a walking human-shaped iceberg. The water temperature should be lower!"

Zhou Xu, who was silent like a sculpture behind the mist, turned his head to look at Chen Shu.

"Yesterday, I went to Wendong for consultation and met Dr. Cao. He told me that Zhou Xu is a well-known high-altitude flower in the School of Psychology of H University. Everyone has the courage to climb up and not get close. Is this true? ?" Chen Shu jokingly bumped Next Zhou Xu's shoulder.

Zhou Xu's shoulders were also very cold, probably because he was exposed to the water.

The mist gathered into a vortex of water droplets, and suddenly dispersed.There was a faint smile in Zhou Xu's amber pupils.

Maybe it's the heat that makes people dizzy, maybe it's the clumps of blue-purple rosemary by the pool exuding an unreal atmosphere, the sky light leaking from the forest canopy seems vague and distant, and the heart beats clearly in the eardrum, other than that Everything is in the haze.Chen Shu's warm palm pressed against Zhou Xu's shoulder.

"And when you were on the set that day, you asked me about my relationship with Xin Hong." Chen Shu leaned on Zhou Xu's shoulder, "Why did you ask that, and how did you see it? It's because you are also... the same A person?" A blush appeared on Chen Shu's fair and almost transparent cheeks.

too close.Chen Shu could clearly see that the smile in Zhou Xu's eyes disappeared without a trace.Zhou Xu looked at him coldly, with a deeper and less noticeable emotion called disgust in his eyes.

Chen Shu felt a chill in his heart, and before he had time to back away, Zhou Xu stretched out his hand—crash, Chen Shu was pushed heavily to the bottom of the pool.

Ding Lan came out of the dressing room, still wearing a sports suit. His long hair was coiled up high and he looked very energetic, revealing a section of his reddish neck, and his face was also rosy. He shyly listened to his assistant and manager complimenting his figure.

"You have controlled your diet very well recently. You don't need to lose any more at this level. It's super photogenic." Sister Zhan pinched Ding Lan's slender waist.

The assistant's starry eyes: "I'm so envious of Sister Lanlan's swan neck, her skin is also very good, white and tender!"

Ding Lan was even more embarrassed, and the three women walked into the front hall with laughter.

A tall young man was packing his swimming trunks in the lobby.

Sister Zhan doesn't know her, but she knows that the people who came to the hot spring villa today are all friends invited by Ding Lan: "... who is this?"

Ding Lan introduced: "This is Mr. Zhou from the School of Psychology, a friend of Brother Chen. He also helped me before. Thank you very much last time, Mr. Zhou." Ding Lan looked around the empty hall and asked: "Hey, aren't you with Brother Chen?"

The young man packed his backpack and didn't answer.

Two people came out from the direction of the men's locker room behind the screen.Xiao Peng held up a towel to wipe Brother Chen's hair, and complained: "Why is the hair dryer in the locker room broken? Brother, you go out with wet hair this day, so you won't catch a cold!"

Wrapped in a charcoal black down jacket, Chen Shu's face looked extraordinarily pale, as if he just came out of a bath, with wet black hair hanging down the side of his face, and his expression was cold.

Sister Zhan's voice was high and shrill: "Oh, Chen Shu, did you take a shower, did you get your hair wet?"

Chen Shu raised his hand to take the towel, casually pulled his wet hair into a recognizable shape, and said to Sister Zhan and Ding Lan, "I'll go back and blow my hair first." After finishing a sentence, there was no fluctuation in his voice.Without waiting for a response, he took Xiao Peng and left.

Sister Zhan and Ding Lan looked at each other in blank dismay.

The young man packed his backpack and left without a word.

"What's the situation?" Sister Zhan was puzzled.

Ding Lan also shrugged in confusion.

Zhou Xu went home and put down his backpack, feeling a little tired.

This is due to continuous immersion in a high-temperature environment, which causes ischemia and hypoxia in vital organs after the expansion of blood vessels throughout the body, he thought.It has nothing to do with Chen Shu.

Just get some sleep, and I hope nothing else will bother him at this time.

Zhou Xu went to the bathroom to wash his swimming trunks, and the cold water from the pipe fell on the back of his hands. There was a sudden chill, which reminded him of Chen Shu's unbelievable eyes after he jumped up from the bottom of the pool.But thinking of Chen Shu made him feel physically disgusted.

When the water temperature warmed up, he was repeatedly torn between resentment and regret irresistibly.I want to put down all the trivial things in my hands and get under the covers to sleep. When the next morning, Zhou Xu is still the original Zhou Xu, who is indifferent to everyone and continues to live alone without any disturbance.

In the end, a phone call saved him.

The boss is not called for nothing.Even on weekends like this, Professor Xiang still came to bother him.

At first it was about Mr. Wu, but Professor Xiang has personally persuaded his partner to participate in the performance.This is good.Then it was about Director Huang. Professor Xiang finally remembered that he had dumped an errand for his disciple and asked him how his cooperation with Director Huang was.

"I heard from Lao Huang that you are giving a psychology class to a young actor?" Professor Xiang expressed surprise, "You are rarely willing to accept such an entrustment."

Zhou Xu did a good job of soaking, wiped his hands, and took off the mobile phone in his neck: "Teacher, that actor felt that my mother's death was abetted by others. He made me feel that my mother never abandoned me." Zhou Xu gave I found a reason for myself.

Zhou Xu has been doing projects with Professor Xiang since he was an undergraduate student. The professor is like a teacher and a father to him, and he can exchange academics and share troubles.Professor Xiang knew Zhou Xu's heart disease, he was silent for a few seconds, and said, "Can you face the past now?"

Zhou Xu didn't speak.

"It just so happens that I don't have much to do recently," Professor Xiang was considerate of him, "If the little actor needs any help in the future, just let him come to me."

Zhou Xu couldn't say anything.The last drop of water slid along the wall of the ceramic basin and fell into the water outlet, carrying his mood and continued to fall to the next inflection point.

"Zhou Xu?" the professor urged.

In Zhou Xu's heart, which was constantly being torn apart and full of contradictions, Chen Shu's cold and pale face soaked in water appeared.

"Okay," Zhou Xu said, "I will inform him."

"I'm officially notifying you, Chen Shu," Director Huang said sternly, "If the next one doesn't work well, you can go and give me a few minutes to rest to find my feeling."

In the small office setting, even the voices of the staff were carefully muted. Jiao Yuting sat behind the monitor and smiled, surrounded by a serious director.

Xin Hong was wearing Zhang Bosi's standard suit, with a stack of prop invitations in his hand, looking down casually with his head down.

Sitting behind the desk, Chen Shu had a pale blush on his face, and spoke in a nasal voice: "...try again."

This scene was filming the content of the original audition. Zhang Bosi arranged for Xu Nanzhu to send a dinner invitation letter to the military officer Fu Jia. Xu Nanzhu took the opportunity to tease his boss.The reason why Chen Shu was cast as Xu Nanzhu was because Xin Hong's Zhang Bosi gave him face and was willing to look after him as a flower.

But Chen Shu's performance today is very unqualified. Director Huang commented that there is no nervous temptation to start a relationship, but a kind of embarrassment of meeting after breaking up.

"Return to zero for [-] rounds and take one shot four times, Action."

Zhang Bosi put a stack of invitation letters on Xu Nanzhu's desk: "The invitation letter for the party the day after tomorrow, I have a delivery task for you."

Xu Nanzhu put the invitations in front of his eyes, and flipped through them one by one: "Huijin Road... Gulou Road... This is the south of the city and the north of the city. It's so far away, let me send it off by myself."

Xin Hong loosened his tie and sighed.

Chen Shu raised his eyes and looked at him.

"It's like reading a map, Ashu," Xin Hong said sincerely, "You should take a rest first."

Xiao Peng rushed forward in three steps at a time and wrapped Chen Shu in a thick cotton coat, stuffed a hot water bottle into his hand, and walked to the rest area with Chen Shu in his arms.

Passing by the monitor, Jiao Yuting poked his head out from behind the director: "Brother Chen, why is your condition not good recently? Is something wrong?"

He asked very concerned, but Chen Shu couldn't help remembering that Zhou Xu said that he had watched him filming with a "terrible" expression.Besides, what do you mean by "recently" being in a bad state, it's just that today's scene was NG!Chen Shu ignored Jiao Yuting and went into the lounge with a cold face.

Xiao Peng handed over the thermos cup, which was filled with hot ginger soup—Chen Shu rushed back from the hot spring villa to the crew hotel with wet hair, and he still had a slight cold symptom.

"Brother, why don't you ask for sick leave?" Xiao Peng thought that his brother's poor condition was due to a cold.This silly boy didn't know that his brother had already gone through the first love experience from the ambiguous period to the failure of confession without telling him.At this time, the young man in Huaichun who asked Chen Shu to act like a deer bumping around is like instantly rejuvenating an old woman whose heart is ashamed.

Just came back from the hot spring villa, Chen Shu was lucky enough to ask Mr. Zhou to forgive his offence, trying to restore the relationship between the two to a harmonious and friendly teacher-student relationship.But Zhou Xu never replied, no matter what Chen Shu said, it was as if he was talking to himself to a lifeless head portrait.Later, Chen Shu got tired of it.

He took a sip of the ginger soup and felt the heat flow down his throat, warming his heart and lungs briefly.

Xiao Peng took out Chen Shu's cell phone from his pocket, opened it, and said, "Huh? Brother, Teacher Zhou sent you a message."

Chen Shu almost squirted out the ginger soup, took a look at the phone, and the information interface was still stuck on the last message he sent to Zhou Xu——

[Tell a story]: Zhou Xu, what's the point of pretending that the signal is missing!

[z6349426432622bslmx]: A555, School of Psychology, H University, No. 201, Dongyuan Avenue, High-tech Zone, Professor Xiang's office. From now on, Professor Xiang Dong will take over your psychology courses.

A piece of minced ginger got stuck in Chen Shu's throat.

Seeing that something was wrong with his brother's pale face, Xiao Peng asked cautiously, "Should we take a sick leave to go to the hospital?"

Chen Shu felt that his breathing was trembling.He took a few deep breaths and held his phone tightly: "Isn't it just being rejected? I still don't believe it. After decades of acting, I don't even have this professional quality!"