Lovers are not full Just A Bit Confusing

At times, James wasn't sure whether confessing his love to Ryan made things better or worse.The good thing is that he no longer has to lie all the time and pretend to be happy when he's in a bad mood.Ryan stopped showing affection in front of him.

But looking at it the other way around, things got very, very bad.He could feel Ryan's sympathy, Ryan's guilt, Ryan's efforts to keep their relationship intact.This feeling is so fucking uncomfortable.

Sometimes James really wants to yell at Ryan, tell him that he doesn't need his mercy, that he's not a fragile vase that will shatter just because he hears Hannah's name.But other times he can hardly resist kissing Ryan, because Ryan is so good to him, always overprotective, trying to protect him from all harm - although in the end he is the The one who hurt James.

"Am I thinking too much, or is Ryan really matching us?" Luke's words interrupted his cranky thinking.

James sighed.It's not going well either: In order for James to wipe him out of his mind, Ryan makes up his mind to find him a boyfriend.A few weeks ago, James confessed to Ryan, and Fred's story came out, so Ryan forced him to dump Fred, handpicked three partners for him, and forced him to meet one by one .Luke is the fourth lucky one.

James stopped staring at his beer and looked up at Luke across the table.Luke is different from the previous ones. James knows him very well and has a good impression of him. He regards him as a close friend-certainly not as close as Ryan, but the relationship is still very good.They've been in the same circle for as long as they can remember.As the sole heirs of their respective distinguished and wealthy families, they understand each other very well.Barbara accuses Luke's dad of being a criminal, but thinks Luke is a "good boy".It's just that she doesn't know that Luke is actually a closeted comrade, and she doesn't know that her son is the same.Only Luke knew about James' sexuality early on.

"Yeah," James admitted with a bitter face, "don't mention it? I keep telling him not to introduce men to me, but you know him too, a muscle. He is determined to find me the perfect boyfriend. "

Luke raised his golden eyebrows: "Then I should be flattered to be picked by him."

James smiled at him and said, "Ryan is straight, not blind." Luke is definitely a beauty.

Even without mentioning the large fortune he was about to inherit, he was fascinating.He had dark blonde hair, chocolate eyes, perfect bones, and flawless skin.The only blemish was his mouth, which was too large for his face, and his upper lip was thicker than his lower lip.Luke was a few centimeters shorter than James and slimmer, but very well-proportioned.And he knew he was good-looking.

"Why, thank you." Luke said and winked at him, "You're not bad either."

The two of them just flirted with each other casually, but it's no wonder Ryan misunderstood.Straight Ryan may not be able to tell that James and Luke are not calling.Although they were each other's first kisses, they never felt anything between them, not even in their hormonal adolescence.

"I'm not bad enough for you," James chuckled.It's no secret that Luke likes bad boys.

Luke groaned, "I didn't choose that on purpose, and I can't help it."

"Well, yes, what you say is what you say." James took out his mobile phone and sent Ryan a text message.

The last trumpet could not be used for an hour.Your trick is not as clever as you think.

Five minutes later, Ryan was back in the hidden corner of the bar where they sat.Seeing James and Luke so far away from each other, he was actually not happy.

Luke laughed when he saw his expression, "You just hid in that bar across the street, didn't you?"

There was no smile on Ryan's face.James has already found out that being a matchmaker hit a wall one after another, making Ryan's mood worse and worse.He didn't know how to feel about it: he was still trying to restrain his feelings for Ryan in order to make him feel better, but Ryan ignored his efforts, and his mood was getting worse every day.James even tried to pretend to fall in love at first sight with the last man Ryan introduced, but Ryan saw it right through.They had a big fight, and the scene was ugly.It looks like they're going to have another fight tonight.

James sighed.They'd better find a place to be alone first.He made up a reason, and pulled Ryan, who was still silent with a stinking face, out of the bar.Both of them walked on in silence.

Ryan kept looking out the window as James drove.God, the silence between them had never been so awkward, it was suffocating.

They walked into Ryan's apartment, still ignoring each other.

James sat down on the sofa.

Ryan sat next to him.

For a long time, none of them looked at each other, and neither spoke.

Finally, Ryan said sullenly: "It's a waste of effort, isn't it?"

James looked down at his hands, "Yes."

He's not sure which event they're talking about: Ryan's introduction to him, or their futile attempt to save their friendship.Or maybe both.

James felt his eyes sore, and he bit his cheek.Is this the end of their friendship?They can't let go when it's time to let go, and they become more and more frustrated with each other?One person has a crush on the other, a friendship that doesn't work.

This friendship cannot last.That's what Tristan meant, and he was right.

"It's useless," he murmured, "we still..."

He heard Ryan take a deep breath trembling, and then suddenly he was hugged by Ryan.Ryan nuzzled his forehead. "No," Ryan said, anger and frustration in his voice. "No, Jamie."

James closed his eyes.Why can't things be simpler? "Maybe it's for the best," he choked out, "while we don't hate each other."

"No." Ryan gritted his teeth.His hot breath hit James' face.

James trembled. "Ryan-"

"I said no," Ryan said with a forced sense of humor, "I don't want to retrain a best friend. I've wasted years on you."

"Ryan-"

"No." Ryan nuzzled his cheek.His tone sounded sincere.

"I love you, you understand?"

James stared blankly ahead.God, didn't Ryan realize how sad his words made him?It was like having a carrot dangling in front of your eyes, wondering if things would be different if Ryan was a little bit bisexual.He knew Ryan was as attached to him as he was to Ryan, and the only difference between the two was sexual orientation: his dependence on Ryan had turned into physical attraction and desire for love, while Ryan Feelings for him remain platonic and brotherly - but that doesn't mean Ryan's feelings are weaker or less than his.

"Ryan—" he was about to say, but was cut off again.

"I love you, idiot," Ryan said sternly, his stubble making Jamie wince. "I'm not going to let this froze us. I'm not giving you up." His arm He wrapped his arms around James' shoulders tightly.Ryan gave a short laugh. "I just can't fucking do it." Ryan's lips brushed against James' chin, and James heard himself make a small sound: a moan.

They both froze.

Hold.This is so fucking embarrassing.

"You feel about that?" Ryan said flatly, as if discussing the weather.

James smiled dryly: "I'm used to it. You don't understand personal space at all. After all these years, even Spock is jealous of my self-control."

①Spock, the first officer of the starship "Enterprise" in the "Star Trek" series, is half of the Vulcan blood, and he is strict and self-controlled.

"A dead house," Ryan's voice was full of emotion, "You and your bunch of unpopular sci-fi memes, who still watches "Star Trek" now?" He kissed James' chin again.

James gritted his teeth, "It's not a straight man's style to kiss my face randomly, do you understand?"

"When did I care about such crap?"

You don't care, or the two of us wouldn't be in this dilemma.

"Maybe you should care," James said succinctly. "You'd better stop now if you don't want my tongue in your mouth."

"It's not the first time." Ryan chuckled, "Wait, you pretended you couldn't kiss so I could kiss you? You were too cunning."

James punched Ryan in the stomach, but Ryan didn't hurt or itch, just smiled against his face: "You're blushing, Jamie Bear, I got it right, right?"

"I was drunk," James said, looking down at his hands, trying to ignore Ryan's approaching body, which drove him crazy. "There was a loss of self-control."

He waited for Ryan to laugh at him again about Spock's upper body, but he felt Ryan's smile disappear.

"You're always very vigilant when you're with me." Ryan's voice was dry.

"I never noticed."

James flinched, "I have to do this, otherwise you will be sexually harassed by me at any time."

Ryan fell silent.His warm breath steamed James' ears.God, whenever Ryan gets this close, he wants to climb on Ryan's lap, tear their clothes off, and—fuck, he gotta hold himself, he's not drunk, he can't stand for himself absolve.

"Jamie," Ryan said, "I don't give a fuck about shit. Sex me—I don't give a shit, I can't stand you being so defensive around me."

James couldn't help laughing shortly, "Thank you for your thoughtfulness, but you have no idea what you're talking about."

This time it was Ryan's turn to smile, "I don't know? Come on, I'm not the guy who kissed three people in my life."

"You still don't understand what I mean."

"I get it, you idiot."

James sighed in frustration, turning his head and pressing their lips together hard.He wanted to teach Ryan a lesson, but he didn't expect to be so shaken.A cracking moan came from his throat, and he thrust his tongue into Ryan's mouth, found Ryan's tongue, and sucked greedily, hungrily.He seemed to have been thirsty for thousands, tens of thousands of years.God - he whimpered, sucking Ryan's tongue deeper into his mouth, shaking with desire - his whole body was literally shaking.But when Ryan's arms wrapped around him tightly, Jamie lost his mind completely and climbed desperately up Ryan's lap, rubbing against him like a cat in heat.A part of James was terrified—

Ryan must have felt sick—but he couldn't stop.He needs this kiss, he needs him.He has longed for it for many, many, many years.It hurts.He didn't mean the mental pain, he was so suffocated now, his dick was so hard that his brain short-circuited, and the desire that had been suppressed for many years was suddenly relieved, like a dam bursting, and the turbulence was unstoppable.There was a moan and sob in his throat as he forced himself to stop and breathe again.He trembled in Ryan's arms, completely restless.He wants to, God, he wants to.

"Holy shit, Jamie," Ryan said, wrapping his arms around him while the other—

Another hand rests on James' crotch.James flinched, his eyes widened, trying to refocus on Ryan's face, "What are you doing—"

Ryan gritted his teeth and didn't take James' refusal seriously. He quickly unbuttoned James' jeans.When Ryan's hand wrapped around James' swollen cock—fuck, fuck—sense and any remaining resistance crumbled.James let out a long moan and buried his face in Ryan's neck.Ryan's hand started to move, and James could only suffer.Ryan's technique was a little clumsy at first, but he became more and more experienced, and he worked hard, and the strength of his grip was just right, fuck.This is Ryan, his Ryan, his—

James bit Ryan's neck, his mouth so hungry for Ryan's body, so eager to taste him, just enough to stifle the shameless, bestial moan he was making—his moan was louder than any whore more nasty.He couldn't control it at all.The pleasure was too sharp, James seemed to be torn to pieces every time he moved, but he still couldn't help restraining his movements, hoping to make the pleasure more intense.

"That's right, that's it." Ryan caressed James' back with his left hand, and continued to lick James' hardened cock with his right hand almost cruelly. James is so dizzy he can't—he can't—

"Come on," Ryan murmured in James' ear, his breath hot, his hands tightly wrapped around James' slick, slick cock, "Come on, Jamie. You want it. Give yourself to me. "

James was shocked by these words, he arched his body and raised his head violently.He was about to come, he opened his mouth and moaned silently.Ryan's hand was still around his cock, and the dizzy white light occupied his eyes and mind, wave after wave, and his brain went blank.

Omg.

Omg.

Ryan was staring at him with a strange expression on his face.

But soon, Ryan put away that expression, tilted his head and smiled at him: "Do you feel better now?"

James groaned and covered his face with his hands, "Someone kill me."

Ryan laughed. "Don't think about dying until you clean these things up for me."

James peeks through his fingers, feeling his ears burn when he sees Ryan frowning as he studies his hand—the one that jerked James off.

Then he realized he was still sitting on Ryan's lap with his cock bared.Blushing, James awkwardly tucked his cock back into his pants, jumped off Ryan's lap, and headed for the bathroom.

As soon as he entered the bathroom, he lay down on the sink, stared at his flushed face in the mirror, breathing quickly as if he had just run a marathon.

Hold.

What did he do?What's the situation now?

He didn't know how long he stood there until someone knocked on the door.Before he could answer, the door opened.

"Scary? Have you blamed yourself enough?" Ryan said as he walked in and began to wash his hands - his fingers were long and strong, and he was holding James' dick a few minutes ago.

Ryan wiped his hands with a towel and glanced at James, "I haven't seen you blush like this."

There was a faint mark on Ryan's neck - James' teeth and lips.

"I have to go," James said.He turned quickly and walked out of the bathroom.

"Jamie."

James took a deep breath and turned to look at him again.

Ryan moved closer and looked at him carefully, "Are you embarrassed?"

"What do you think?" James laughed dryly.

"Are you embarrassed?" Ryan repeated calmly but firmly.There was no expression on his face.

"Of course I'm embarrassed," James said. "I've lost the fuck. I molested you."

The look in Ryan's eyes made James feel stupid. "I don't feel molested. I can stop you at any time, and you didn't force me to put my hand on your dick. I didn't feel stupid, why are you so scared."

James pursed his lips, barely making a crying and laughing expression. "Don't pretend to be so calm, I don't believe it."

There was a hint of teasing in Ryan's green eyes: "It's... interesting. It's not the same, but it's the same." He shrugged. "What's the best friend helping each other?" He smiled slightly. I also feel very proud of it.”

"I really, really hate you," James said.

Ryan's smug smile disappeared, he straightened his face, "Don't scare yourself," he put his hands on James' shoulders, and said firmly, "Yes, this is a bit weird, but it's not a big deal, really Yeah." He looked James straight in the eyes, "I know what you're thinking, but I'm not pitying you, I'm not giving you a favor, I just can't stand by when you're sad. I never can. I know you I hate being pampered, but I always feel... feel that I should take care of you. And when I can't, I'm so fucking irritable, Jamie." Ryan pursed his lips for a while, "These people Week, I feel like a fucking piece of shit and I can't do anything."

James licked his lips.Of course he knew that Ryan had always been obsessed with protecting him, and that had been the case since the two of them became friends.James grew up ignorant of the world outside the mansion, and it was Ryan who taught him everything he needed to know—how to throw a punch, how to pretend to be a normal boy, how to survive violent neighborhoods—and he kept protecting He, but not in the same way as James' mother's irritatingly doting ways.Ryan would often sit on the sidelines and let James make a small mistake so he could learn from it, but in the crunch time, Ryan was always there, helping him before he stumbled.James even secretly wondered if Ryan especially enjoyed the feeling of being on the stage to save the world, but Ryan knew that James was particularly disgusted with the way his mother held him in his hands, and this was the only reason why Ryan would control his desire to protect .What Ryan doesn't know, and what James doesn't want to tell him, is that he very, very much enjoys this strong protection from Ryan.There is always a part of James that feels that he is Ryan's property, and Ryan's behavior makes this part of his heart warm,

James smiled bitterly: "I understand, but this is a bit too much." He cleared his throat, "Anyway, I just wanted to teach you a lesson, but I got carried away." This sentence is simply the most understatement of this century . "Since this kind of thing won't happen again, it doesn't matter this time. Let's pretend nothing happened and forget it."

An emotion James couldn't understand flashed quickly in Ryan's eyes.He looked at James for a while, nodded, and pushed him out of the bathroom, "Okay."

When James squinted at Ryan, he could only read courage and determination from his sculptural perfect jaw, and nothing else could be seen.