[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

In Lingxiao Palace, the Jade Emperor held a small court meeting.

Qiao Yu sat down and reported to the Jade Emperor, "Sun Wukong and Nezha fought, broke the horse circle, and shocked the horses. Fortunately, the Xiaotian dog caught the horses in time and did not cause too much confusion. Now Yu The stables of the horse prison have been repaired, and the other losses are not too big."

The Jade Emperor asked, "Where are Nezha and Monkey King?"

Qiao Yu said: "I was just going to tell you! Nezha has urgent business to deal with, I let him go to work first, as for the punishment, I will talk about it when he comes back. That Monkey King...he is more rebellious, and feels that he has been wronged I ran away and said I would quit."

The Jade Emperor looked through all the materials about Sun Wukong on the table, "The stone monkey in Huaguo Mountain, it turned out to be him!"

Taibai Jinxing smiled and said: "Your Majesty has a good memory. When Monkey King was born, a golden light shot straight into the sky, which is quite impressive!"

Qiao Yu said: "The little fairy who recruited Monkey King to the Heavenly Court did not act improperly, everything was done according to the rules. The people in the Yuma Supervisor were negligent and should be punished. These people are easy to say, but Monkey King, he left in a rage Heaven, I don't know how to deal with it."

The Jade Emperor looked at Taibai Jinxing, "Taibai Jinxing, what's your opinion?"

Taibai Jinxing spread his hands and said: "Your Majesty really stumped me! It's been thousands of years? Heaven has never seen such a situation! Only people from the lower realms are desperately trying to become officials in the sky. I have never heard of anyone Get angry and quit!"

The Jade Emperor smiled and said, "You, you! Don't play tricks, tell me what you think!"

Taibai Jinxing thought for a while, and said very seriously: "Your Majesty, I think this matter should be dealt with seriously."

Qiao Yu raised his eyebrows unexpectedly, isn't Taibai Jinxing his favorite and sloppy?How did you become a hardliner today?

Taibai Jinxing said: "This kind of thing has never happened in the Heavenly Court. If Sun Wukong said he would quit, he would not do it. This would have a very bad impact on the prestige of the Heavenly Court. Your Majesty, I suggest that you order Sun Wukong to be arrested in the Heavenly Court. deal with it!"

The Jade Emperor nodded, "You are right, and I have exactly the same intention. If Sun Wukong can draw with Nezha, the lower realm must send a more powerful general to catch him."

He looked at Qiao Yu, "Let Kong Xuan go!"

Qiao Yu nodded, "Okay, I'll go back and inform Kong Xuan."

After talking about things, Qiao Yu and Taibai Jinxing left Lingxiao Palace.Yang Jian was already waiting at the entrance of the main hall. When he saw Qiao Yu coming out, a smile appeared on his usually cold face.

Qiao Yu walked over and took his hand, "Have you been waiting for a long time? Let's go back."

Looking at the backs of Qiao Yu and Yang Jian, Taibai Jinxing let out a long sigh.

A fairy beside him asked: "Why are you sighing? Isn't it just a Monkey King! Kong Xuandao must be able to catch it with his hands!"

Taibai Jinxing shook his head and sighed: "I didn't sigh because of that monkey, I suddenly remembered that Xiaotiangou is a word."

"what did he say?"

Taibai Jinxing said: "He said that he no longer needs food because he feels full every day."

The fairy still didn't understand, so, "Why?"

Taibai Jinxing said with a smile: "Because he is a single dog, he will be full enough to eat the dog food sprinkled by Yang Jian every day."

Xianjun laughed loudly after hearing this, and Taibai Jinxing said coolly, "What are you laughing at? Aren't you also single? Don't you feel overwhelmed?"

The fairy stopped laughing, and retorted in a low voice: "It seems that you are not!"

Taibai Jinxing sighed: "Yes! Me too..."

Both Taibai Jinxing and Xianjun sighed in their hearts: I am so full...

Back in the main hall of the personnel department, Qiao Yu went to the backyard and found Kong Xuan who was basking in the sun and eating fairy fruits among the flowers.

"Kong Xuan Xianjun, it's time for you to contribute."

Kong Xuan closed his eyes and asked lazily, "What's the matter?"

Qiao Yu told the story of Monkey King, and Kong Xuan immediately cheered up when he heard that Monkey King could draw with Nezha.

"Being able to draw a tie with little Nezha, this Monkey King has two skills! The monsters in the lower realm have become worse and worse these years, and almost all of them have become vegetarians! I just took advantage of Monkey King to loosen my muscles and bones."

Qiao Yu instructed: "When you see Sun Wukong, don't talk nonsense with him, just sacrifice the five-color divine light! Remember to come back early, you will be the master of the training course next month, you have to prepare well. Many little fairies complained to me, you The lectures are so messed up that they can't keep up!"

Kong Xuan sneered: "It seems that I am still too gentle with them, and dare to complain to you!"

Qiao Yu pulled away a chair and was about to persuade this master, when a little fairy hurried over.

"Minister, Sun Wukong went down to the Heavenly Court instead, and set up a flag in the lower realm as a demon. He also set up a very tall pole with the words Equaling Heaven and Great Sage written on it."

Before Qiao Yu could speak, Kong Xuan laughed first, "Oh! You are so courageous! I'm going to the next world, let's see how long he can be arrogant?"

After Kong Xuan left, Qiao Yu asked Yang Jian: "Do you think Monkey King will make a big disturbance in the Heavenly Palace, and then go to the West to learn Buddhist scriptures?"

Yang Jian said with a smile: "Probably not. The current Heavenly Court is different from the previous one. But the West may ask people to go there. They just lack such powerful thugs. Monkey King should be reused there."

At the time of enshrining the gods, Yuanshi Tianzun and Master Tongtian both wanted to send people to the west. Yuanshi Tianzun sent Cihang Taoist, Manjusri Guangfa Tianzun, Pu Xianzhen, and Yuliu grandson among the twelve golden immortals to the west.The master of Tongtian sect has a lot of disciples because he is rich, so he let his disciple Daoist Duobao bring about a thousand people into the Western sect.

Because of these 'rebellious' Taoist disciples, the relationship between Western Buddhism and Heaven is pretty good.

Excluding those who had been taught by the West, and Nezha, who insisted on being a general, Qiao Yu arranged for all the people who used to work in the State Teachers Bureau to be in his personnel department.In the eyes of Xiaoxian, who is not highly qualified, Qiao Yu did this to firmly hold the HR department in his own hands.But anyone who is familiar with the matter of conferring the gods back then knows that when selecting the heavenly official, Qiao Yu had no one to use, and the people from the National Teacher Bureau were completely helping him to support the situation.

Without paying attention, his thoughts slipped so far without knowing it. Qiao Yu came back to his senses and said to Yang Jian: "Don't mention this, let's take a long vacation when we are done with work for a while! Where do you want to go?"

Yang Jian shrugged, "You can go anywhere, just go wherever you want! Wherever you go, it counts."

Kong Xuan's efficiency was very fast. He went to Huaguo Mountain single-handedly, and brought Monkey King back to the Heavenly Court in less than two cups of tea, and threw him into the prison.

How to deal with Monkey King, Kong Xuan and Qiao Yu did not intervene.Self-proclaimed Monkey King is a bit of a sinner. They care too much, and the Jade Emperor should be unhappy.In addition, it will be Kong Xuan's turn to give a lecture after a while, and Qiao Yu has to watch Kong Xuan write the syllabus, otherwise he can talk nonsense and finally make all the little fairies who came to attend the class cry!

A few days later, Qiao Yu was processing official documents in the personnel department, and Jiang Ziya entered the office hall holding the Jade Emperor's decree.

"Minister, the Jade Emperor has an order to ask Kong Xuanxian to arrest Monkey King and bring him to justice."

Qiao Yu frowned, "Isn't he already locked up in the prison?"

Jiang Ziya said: "It seems that the minister hasn't gone out for many days. Sun Wukong escaped from the prison. Somehow, he actually broke into the fairyland of the Queen Mother. The fairy in the fairyland was preparing for the peach festival. He gave all the flat peaches He ate it! Later, for some reason, he went to the Tushita Palace of Taishang Laojun, and actually ate up Laojun's elixir!"

Qiao Yu sighed, "It's really capable of causing trouble!"

Kong Xuan was sitting next to Qiao Yu writing the syllabus!He couldn't sit still for a long time, and the will of the Jade Emperor was to save him in time.He pretended to be sorry and said: "Minister, Your Majesty has a will! It seems that I can't finish writing these outlines!"

Qiao Yu sneered: "Come back and work overtime to make up for me! If you dare to deal with errands indiscriminately, I will pluck your ass hair!"

Kong Xuan was angry and ashamed, "That's Wei Yu! Wei Yu!"

"Whether it's butt hair or tail feathers, if you love them, please don't piss me off!"

Kong Xuan snorted coldly and went out. Qiao Yu sighed and said to Jiang Ziya, "Don't tell me about your ass hair."

Jiang Ziya nodded again and again, "I don't need the minister to order me. If this matter gets out, Mr. Kong Xuandao won't trouble you, but he will definitely trouble me..."

Fortunately, Kong Xuan's thorns are just an example, and Qiao Yu feels much more comforted by Jiang Ziya's current-savvy employees.

With a wave of his hand, Jiang Ziya stepped back.He happened to want to check something, so he went to the archives of the personnel department.

There are rows and rows of bookshelves in the archives. Unless someone wants to check the information, people rarely come here.

As soon as he entered the archives, Qiao Yu felt that there was someone else in the room.At first he didn't pay attention, but when he finished looking for things, he felt that something was wrong.

This is the archives of the personnel department. If anyone sees him coming in, there's no reason not to come and say hello!Did you not see him?

Because of the little curiosity in his heart, Qiao Yu walked back.Just as he walked to the last bookshelf, a golden dagger lay across his neck.

Seeing that hairy head, Qiao Yu pretended to be very angry and said, "Which department are you transferred from? How can you scare people like this? There must be a limit to pranks!"

He pushed away the arm holding the dagger and walked to the bookshelf behind.

Qiao Yu pretended to be looking for information, and the furry Monkey King came over and asked, "You don't know me?"

Qiao Yu snorted coldly, "Who do you think you are? There are so many people transferred here, why should I recognize you?"

Seeing that he didn't know him, Monkey King felt more at ease.

"You little fairy has quite a temper! Do you know Monkey King, the Great Sage Equaling Heaven?"

Qiao Yu looked down at the information, "I don't know."

Monkey King's face twisted, "It's the Monkey King who ruined the flat peach banquet and ate Laojun's elixir!"

Qiao Yu responded casually, "Oh! He! I listened to it casually, and it seemed that the horse raised a fight with someone, and then went to heaven instead."

Monkey King pretended to be casual and asked: "Tell me! Is Monkey King particularly powerful? He is the only one who dares to challenge the Heavenly Court. The gods in the sky are submissive and have no blood at all!"

Qiao Yu closed the file, "Sun Wukong? He was played around by the people of the Yumajian, how is it so good? And the gods in the heaven are not submissive, they follow the rules and do their work conscientiously."

Sun Wukong got angry, "Why do you say that? What happened to the people in the Yumajian?"

"The people in the Yumajian pushed all the work to Sun Wukong, and Sun Wukong didn't know how to resist. Do you think he is smart?"

Sun Wukong had to grit his teeth, "Sun Wukong just arrived at the Yumajian, they said he should do all these jobs, how can he tell?"

Qiao Yu shrugged, "It can only be said that he is pitiful, with that kind of boss."

He patted Monkey King on the shoulder, "Have you ever thought about why the Heavenly Court is like this? The Heavenly Court must take into account the overall situation and consider all aspects of the three realms of heaven, earth and man. We have always strived to make things perfect, but it is really difficult. We know , you worked so hard to raise horses and work, but in the end Heavenly Court sent someone to arrest you, and you felt angry and wronged. But think about it from another angle, if you were the Jade Emperor, do you think Sun Wukong did everything right?"

Monkey King shook off his hand with a cold face, "You already know who I am!"

Qiao Yu spread his hands, "Yes! I knew it a long time ago."

Monkey King sneered, and the dagger in his hand turned into a golden cudgel, "It seems that I can't keep you alive!"

Qiao Yu stretched out his hand a little, and stopped Monkey King. "Sorry, you are looking for the wrong person, I know the rules quite well! You will never be able to solve my hold technique. To be honest, I have a good impression of you, but I didn't expect you to be such a violent little monkey! "

After saying this, Qiao Yu tied up Monkey King with a fairy rope, and then dragged the violent little monkey out of the file room very violently.