[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

Dong Yong's "little mother" made the room appear mysteriously silent.

Father Dong's drink was so frightened that he opened his mouth wide, and after a while he said, "What did you just, just, just say?"

Dong Yong stretched out his hand and pointed at the Seventh Fairy respectfully, "I say hello to my little mother!"

"She's not a little mother! You prodigal child!" Father Dong said angrily.

Dong Yong nodded suddenly, "Since she is not, could it be this girl in purple?"

The seventh princess is wearing concubine-colored clothes today, Zhang Qiaozui is wearing purple, and Dong Yong is referring to Zhang Qiaozui.

Rao Zhang Qiaozui is eloquent, but when he met Dong Yong, he was so angry that he trembled all over. "Damn! You are talking nonsense, what kind of nonsense are you talking about? You are still a scholar!"

Dong Yong said seriously: "I'm not mistaken! My father's stepmother, shouldn't I be called Xiaoma? Aren't you a stepmother?"

Zhang Qiaozui scolded: "Who will make your father, a bad old man, your stepmother!"

Although Dong's father is an old man, Dong Yong was not willing to listen to what Zhang Qiaozui said, "So you are not a stepmother."

Zhang Qiaozui sneered: "Of course, you don't look at my appearance, girl, am I someone who can be a stepmother?"

Dong Yong shook his head: "It's really not like that, with your mean look, you can be a concubine at most."

Has Zhang Qiaozui ever been so angry?She gathered spiritual power in her palm, and she was about to strike immediately!

Erlang took a step forward, and the seventh princess hurriedly stopped Zhang Qiaozui.With Erlang Shen here, it is a very unwise choice to do it.

The Seventh Princess walked up to Dong Yong and said sadly: "Dong Yong, uncle has already engaged us, today is the day to discuss the date of marriage..."

Dong Yong stood up and interrupted Seventh Princess.He didn't give Seventh Princess any good looks, "You must think I've gone too far today, don't you?"

Seventh Princess nodded aggrievedly, "You were not like this before..."

Dong Yong said with a cold face: "You have only seen me a few times? How do you know that I am not like this?"

"I used to be in heaven..."

Dong Yong interrupted her, "Did you watch me shit and piss in the sky before?"

Princess Seven opened her mouth in shame and indignation, but did not speak.

Dong Yong persuaded her very politely: "What you see in the sky is the beautiful side of me. You have never seen what I look like behind my back. You don't know me at all, and you don't know me. What kind of person. You just like that 'beautiful Dong Yong', you don't like me."

The Seventh Princess wept bitterly, "Why do you say that? For you, I left Yaochi, violated the rules of heaven and went down to earth privately, failed my sister's trust, and failed my mother's teaching! If I don't like you, why should I To do so many things for you? I have worked so hard to find you, and you just treat me like this?"

Dong Yong said coldly: "I beg you to be nice to me?"

Seventh Princess was frightened by his ruthlessness, "You...you...how can you say that?"

Dong Yong took two steps forward, stood in front of her and asked, "Did I beg you to descend to earth? Did I beg you to Guanjiangkou? Did I beg you to marry me? No? If I don't like you, why should I marry you?"

Dong's father was stupefied by words such as xiaoma, yaochi, and descending to the earth. It wasn't until Dong Yong said that he didn't want to get married. Dong's father came back to his senses, "What? Son, don't you want to marry Miss Feifeng?"

Dong Yong shook his head very resolutely, "Don't marry!"

Father Dong said in embarrassment: "But I have already engaged you, relatives, friends, and people in the village all know about it. Don't be self-willed, there is no reason, you suddenly don't get married, what do the people in the village think of you?" What do you think of Miss Feifeng?"

Dong Yonghun said unhesitatingly: "You decide to marry me on your own, have you got my consent? Whoever decides to marry will marry a daughter-in-law. The seventh princess is mainly to be my concubine. I am sure I am happy. Hey! I can give you a big red envelope!"

Dong's father was so angry that he fell on his back. When the seventh princess heard Dong Yong calling her little mother again, she couldn't help crying and ran away.

Zhang Qiaozui said to Dong Yong: "You are really kind, I see how long you can be proud!" It was already exposed, she didn't pretend anymore, she said to the pagoda tree spirit, "Old pagoda tree, let's go! "

Dong Yong dragged the locust tree spirit over, and pulled him behind him to block him, "Fuck with you! Didn't you see that we belong to one country?"

Zhang Qiao gritted her teeth and said to the locust tree spirit, "Okay! Good locust tree spirit, how dare you lie to me!" She angrily shook her sleeves and left, "Let's see!"

God Erlang greeted the locust tree spirit to leave the house, he said to Dong Yong: "You and your father should have a lot to talk about, we'll wait for you outside."

The outsiders all left, Dong's father leaned on the chair weakly, pointed at Dong Yong with trembling hands, and cursed: "You! You unfilial son! You are going to drive me to death!"

Dong Yong supported his father, "Father, don't be angry. If you want a daughter-in-law, I will find it for you! But marrying the Seventh Princess is not acceptable! She is a princess in the sky, so you leave her in the mortal world until her mother finds out. Now, she's fine, we'll be sent directly to the underworld, and it would be great if we can be entrusted to become dung beetles in our next life!"

Dong's father didn't believe it, "Even if her mother is a fairy, she has to be reasonable? You are married, and our two families are in-laws, relatives. If she kills us, isn't she killing her daughter? If Miss Feifeng can give birth to a boy and a half It's even better if it's a girl, the old man loves his grandson, and her mother won't let her grandson have no father!"

Dong Yong rubbed his face irritably, it was the first time he found that his father was quite witty, even the Queen Mother dared to plot.

Dong's father insisted that he marry the Seventh Princess, which was difficult.Dong's father is not young anymore, there are no major problems, but there are many minor problems. Dong Yong dared to quarrel with the seventh princess, but he did not dare to play rough with his father.If the old man gets angry, he will feel bad for the rest of his life.

I am scratching my head in worry!Dong Yong saw Erlang God outside the door at a glance, and suddenly he knew how to persuade his father.

Dong Yong squatted beside his father and said emotionally: "Father, I have suffered for you all these years. You raised me up by yourself, and you were both a father and a mother. You are afraid that your stepmother will treat me badly. After so many years, You didn't find another..."

Father Dong interrupted him, "Don't mention to me that Miss Feifeng will be your little mother! If you dare to mention it again, I will beat you!"

Dong Yong: "..." You are so clever, give me a vaccination, this stalk is over long ago, okay?

Dong Yong said speechlessly: "Father! I want to talk about business!"

"Okay! Tell me, let me see what kind of ivory your dog can spit out!"

Dong Yong: "..." Whoops!You little old man, I find that your speech is getting sharper and sharper now!

Dong Yong shook his head, sorted out his thoughts, and began to persuade (fool) guide (you) his father with nice words. "Father, do you still remember why we moved to Guanjiangkou?"

"Why don't you remember? Because Erlang Zhenjun gave us a dream! Thanks to Erlang God, otherwise our family would not have such a good life! Son! Erlang God gave us such a good life, you should cherish the blessing and marry Feifeng What a wonderful girl! She is beautiful, virtuous, and a fairy in the sky!"

Dong Yong is speechless, virtuous?I'm afraid the Seventh Princess I know with you is not the same person!

Dong Yong said helplessly: "Father! Can I push away such a good thing as marrying a fairy? But God Erlang gave me a dream and forbade me to marry the Seventh Princess!"

Dong's father didn't believe it, "Don't lie to me! Why is Erlang God so idle, and can he care who you marry as a wife?"

"Why don't you believe it? Erlang God said that there are rules in the sky, and mortals and immortals are not allowed to marry each other! If immortals fall in love with each other, the immortal's bones will be removed, or they will be crushed under the mountain. As for mortals, they will definitely be killed. There is no discussion." room!"

Father Dong was skeptical, and asked, "Why doesn't Heaven allow immortals to fall in love?"

Dong Yong really didn't know why, he never had the problem of Erlang Shen.He remembered that some netizens seemed to have raised a possibility in his previous life, so he copied it swearingly, and explained to Father Dong: "Because mortals are so capable of giving birth!"

"What?"

"Mortals are too capable of giving birth. Immortals and mortals give birth to many children, and the quality is average. The heavens cannot allow so many half-human and half-immortals to exist, so immortals and mortals are not allowed to fall in love."

Father Dong nodded, "It seems...it makes sense."

Dong Yong said anxiously: "Father, can you not be obsessed with these details? If you persist like this, Erlang God will be angry! The reason why our family is doing well is because of Erlang God's help! Erlang God reminded me in a dream. , marrying a fairy is breaking the rules of heaven. If you insist on going your own way, where do you put Erlang God? Are you still the most devout believer of Erlang God?"

Father Dong nodded in agreement, "You're right! God Erlang has been kind to our family! I don't need to listen to other people, but I must listen to God Erlang! In this case, I will come to the door to withdraw the marriage!"

"Father! Father! Father! Please calm down for a while!" Dong Yong stopped Dong's father, "You should rest at home first! You don't need to come forward for the divorce. Your father-in-law is a pagoda tree spirit, the serious relative of the Seventh Princess. You didn't come down to earth at all, what kind of marriage do you call? Even the birth date of the Seventh Princess is probably made up! Don't worry, this marriage is not considered final, and there is no need to withdraw!"

Dong's father sighed, "Oh! It's all because of my father's confusion. I should wait until you come back to make an engagement for you. But I don't understand. You said that I would offer incense to Erlang God every new year and festival. Why didn't he just entrust me with dreams when he had something to do? What! You are far away in the capital, and he ran to give you a dream, and I am in Guanjiangkou, wouldn't it be more convenient for him to give me a dream?"

The old man was getting more and more difficult to be fooled, Dong Yong swallowed, and explained to Dong's father indiscriminately, "This...Erlang God can't always be bored in Guanjiangkou! He also likes to travel when he is free. Yes. Maybe he was in the capital when he gave me the dream!" This is not a lie, they are still sleeping in the same room in the capital.

Dong Yong coaxed the old man and said: "I see that you drank a lot, you should sleep first. My friend and locust tree spirit are still outside! I can't leave the guests alone! You go to rest, I will greet them .”

Father Dong nodded, "Okay, you go! Treat me well."

After finally coaxing Dong's father into the room to sleep, Dong Yong called Erlangshen and the others in, pouring a pot of herbal tea into his mouth vigorously.

Erlangshen stopped him, "Drink less herbal tea, it's not good for your health."

Dong Yong said with a sad face: "Fortunately, I came back in time. If I came back later, my father would have found a big rooster to marry me!" He looked at Erlang God again, "I found that in my father's heart , you are better than me. Go back and make up a dream for him! This is jealous of me! Ask me why Erlang God only conjures dreams for me and not him! I think the old man is getting old and seems a little nervous! He used to It's so confusing."

The locust tree spirit said: "Young Master Dong, it has nothing to do with age. Originally, Master Dong wanted to wait for you to come back, and asked you what you wanted before making an engagement. But the Seventh Princess enchanted Master Dong, so Master Dong's behavior was a bit abnormal. .”

Dong Yong asked anxiously: "Then can my father's ecstasy be solved?"

Erlang patted him on the shoulder, "It's not a very powerful ecstasy. It has expired, and the ecstasy will be cured by itself. It's just that he still has some obsession with your marriage with the seventh princess."

The locust tree spirit said guiltily to Dong Yong: "Mr. Dong, I'm really sorry. Zhenjun left me at Guanjiangkou to guard Master Dong, but I didn't protect him well!"

Dong Yong waved his hand, "No! Uncle Locust Tree! You can't blame me for this! If you want to blame it, you can blame the Seventh Princess for her brains and she insisted on going down to earth! She dared to enchant my father. I shouldn't call her little mother when I come back today. , should be more ruthless! What do you think of calling her an old witch?"

Erlang God: "..." Locust Tree Spirit: "Uh..."

God Erlang warmed up the water in the teapot and handed it to Dong Yong, "Drink some water and calm down! Seventh princess is spoiled, no one dares to talk to her like that. You didn't save her any face today, you want to come to her It won’t stay in the mortal world either.”

Dong Yong was still very indignant, "Forget her to slip away quickly! Otherwise, I have more vicious words waiting for her!" Dong Yong suddenly remembered something, and he asked the locust tree spirit, "Did my father give a lot of bride price? Go and get all those betrothal gifts back, you can't take advantage of her!"