[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

God Erlang grabbed Xu Xian's hand and swallowed the spider. Xu Xian was so frightened that he rushed over to snap his mouth, "Why are you eating it? I picked it up from the ground, it's so dirty!"

Erlang Shen spread out his hands, and the black spider stayed in his palm obediently. "Don't worry, I didn't eat at all."

Xu Xian put the black spider on the ground, grabbed Erlang Shen's sleeve and wiped his hands, "Tell me about you, why are you so naughty?"

Erlang Shen also wiped his hands on Xu Xian's clothes, "I don't want this robe anymore, remember to make me new clothes."

"If you can trust me, I'll sew it for you."

Erlang Shen looked around, the cell was damp and dirty, with bugs and mice running around. "Why are you doing this? You came here to live with the county magistrate."

Xu Xian lay on the pile of straw indifferently, "Brother-in-law has suffered under his hands in recent years. The magistrate must personally apologize to brother-in-law, otherwise this matter will not be over."

He raised one hand to support his head, "The county magistrate will definitely not give in easily. I have already made up my mind. No matter who the county magistrate invites to catch the demon, I will definitely mess things up! Let the money in his warehouse be all gone." All stolen!"

Erlang pinched his face, "Then there's no need to live here, I can't bear it."

Xu Xian went to touch his hand, and even winked at him, "Since little brother can't bear to part with me, come and live with me!"

Seeing the cockroaches crawling past his feet, Erlangshen grabbed Xu Xian's hand and teleported out of the cell, throwing him into the hot pool.

Xu Xian got out of the water and shook his head.The water in this pool is hot spring water, and the bottom and surrounding area are surrounded by large blue stones.The green plants here cover the hot spring pool, which is a good place for bathing and recreation.

"Where is this?" Xu Xian asked.

Erlang Shen handed him a tray with a jug of rice wine and a plate of cherries on it. "This is the hot spring villa I just built. I planned to bring you here to play in a few days, but I didn't expect to use it today. Wash it well, and don't bring out the lice in the prison."

Xu Xian took off his wet clothes, ate a cherry, and didn't dare touch the rice wine. His age has been increasing, but his drinking capacity has remained the same.

Xu Xian stuffed a lot of cherries into his mouth in one breath, his cheeks puffed up like a hamster, "I think the elf who stole the money today is a little familiar."

Erlangshen was leaning against the pool, holding a wine glass in his hand, looking very chic, he asked, "Have you seen him?"

Xu Xian spat out the cherry pits, frowned and shook his head, "I haven't seen him before, but I think his aura is very familiar. A snake demon in green clothes...he can't be Bai Suzhen's maid, Xiaoqing!"

Erlangshen smiled, "Don't worry about who he is, I'll just help you with your brother-in-law's affairs. As for Bai Suzhen...don't bother with her, just to help, why don't you marry her?"

Xu Xian lay down by the pool and smiled, "Don't worry, there are many ways to help Bai Suzhen see through the world of mortals! At worst, let her learn how to raise pigs like the Seventh Princess! All thoughts of love and love are paper tigers in front of Xiaohua."

"Paper tiger? How do you say it?"

"Pigs are so cute, of course raising pigs has a better future than talking about love!"

After Xu Xian washed Xiangxiang and went home with Erlangshen, Xu Jiaorong was pointing at Li Gongfu's nose and scolding him, disgusting him for hurting his younger brother.It took Xu Xian a lot of effort to coax his sister well.

Li Gongfu used to know that Mr. Yang and his brother-in-law were capable, but he never thought that his brother-in-law could catch monsters.Taking advantage of Xu Jiaorong's entering the kitchen and not having the time to scold him, Li Gongfu approached Xu Xian and asked, "Hanwen, are you really no match for that goblin?"

Xu Xian nodded, "He has practiced for hundreds of years, but I have only practiced for more than ten years. How can I beat him! My master can take him in, but I think the magistrate doesn't respect you, so he let you go on purpose. Goblin. Whenever the magistrate apologizes to you personally, I will go to collect the goblin!"

Li Gongfu was so moved, he blinked to suppress the moisture in his eyes. "Oh! It's my brother-in-law's incompetence that got you in trouble."

"What did the family say that they were involved or not? And I didn't suffer any grievances! The cell couldn't lock me up, and the county magistrate didn't say to let me go. Didn't I also come out of the cell?"

Li Gongfu patted Xu Xian on the shoulder emotionally, "Good brother! Come, have a drink with brother-in-law!"

Xu Xian's smile froze on his face, "Drinking...you don't need it? What kind of wine do you drink when you don't know how to drink?"

Erlangshen said with a smile: "It's rare that your brother-in-law is happy, so you can just drink a few glasses! Brother-in-law, I will drink with you too."

Li Gongfu was very happy, "Good! Good! Jiaorong! Fry more dishes, the three of us have two drinks!"

Li Gongfu said to drink two cups, but Xu Xian really only drank two cups. Just after pouring the third cup, Xu Xian fell into the arms of Erlang Shen and passed out.

Erlangshen said with a smile: "It seems that Xu Xian can't hold alcohol, I'll take him back to his room first, and let's continue drinking later."

After putting Xu Xian on the bed and covering him with the quilt, Erlangshen drank with Li Gongfu for a while, and then everyone dispersed.

Erlangshen stood in the yard for a while, estimating that the time was almost up, he turned into a stream of light and flew to Shuangcha Lane.

In Shuangcha Lane, opposite to the God of Wealth Temple, Bai Suzhen was reprimanding Xiaoqing, "Xiaoqing, why are you so reckless? What if you hurt Mr. Xu?"

Xiaoqing didn't take it seriously, "That Mr. Xu is not a weak scholar! His magic talisman is amazing! Sister, I know it in my heart, how could I hurt your benefactor?"

Bai Suzhen asked again: "Did Mr. Xu recognize you?"

"Probably not! I saw Mr. Xu from a distance, and he appeared in the appearance of a man on purpose. He probably wouldn't recognize me."

Bai Suzhen said anxiously: "It's better to be cautious in everything. I don't know why, but I feel a little uneasy in my heart. I always feel that there is a change in the matter of repaying my kindness."

Xiaoqing pouted, "Sister, put your feelings aside for now. You should consider repaying your favor! Mr. Xu is a Taoist, he must be like those stinky Taoist priests, shouting about killing demons every day. If you How could he marry you if he wanted to repay his kindness!"

Bai Suzhen sat down on the chair dejectedly, "You're right, if this is the case, wouldn't my day of immortality be far away?"

Xiaoqing wrapped the hair hanging on her chest around her fingers to play with, "How about...I will kill Mr. Xu, and when he is reincarnated, my sister will ask him to repay her kindness."

Bai Suzhen poked her forehead, "What are you talking about? Are you repaying a favor or revenge?"

"Then sister, what do you think should be done!"

Bai Suzhen took down the umbrella hanging on the wall, frowning, "Xu Xianggong left the umbrella, I waited every day, every day, but I never saw him come to fetch the umbrella. He probably didn't mean that to me!" "

Xiaoqing couldn't see Bai Suzhen's depressed look, she said: "Sister, you think too much, if the mountain doesn't come, it's you, and you go to the mountain! Xu Xianggong refuses to come, then let's go to him! I heard mortals As I said, men chase women through heavy mountains, and women chase men through layers of gauze. Sister, take the initiative, I'm not afraid that Xu Xian won't marry you."

Just as Bai Suzhen was about to speak, a huge coercion pressed her and Xiaoqing to the ground.

Erlang God had been standing at the door for a long time, when he heard Xiao Qing's words, he couldn't bear it any longer, and flew into Qiu Wang's mansion from outside the door.

Pulling up the back of his robe, Erlang Shen sat on top with a cold face, while Bai Suzhen and Xiaoqing knelt below.

"You two little monsters are quite courageous, and you are here to plot against Xu Xian."

Bai Suzhen didn't recognize Erlang God, but she knew that the man in front of her was definitely not a mortal monster.

She forced herself to kneel up straight, "Which immortal is here? Bai Suzhen is very polite. My younger sister Xiaoqing and I are good monsters who are devoted to Taoism. We have never harmed anyone. I hope the immortal will see clearly."

Xiaoqing's morality was humble, and she was lying on the ground, and she was so oppressed by Erlang God that she looked extremely embarrassed.

Erlang Shen asked: "Since you are a good demon, why did you plot against Xu Xian?"

"Xian Jun Rong Bing, Xu Xian and I have the grace to save lives. I was enlightened by Guanyin Bodhisattva and ordered by Bodhisattva to come to Hangzhou to find him. It is just to end this mortal relationship and achieve a positive result as soon as possible. There is no design to harm him!"

"There are many ways to repay your kindness. You can give Xu Xian money, you can give Xu Xian his name, why do you have to marry him yourself?"

Bai Suzhen raised her head and said, "Reporting to Xianjun, Master Guanyin means that this kind of life-saving grace can only be repaid with a promise of your body."

Erlang God sneered, "And you can understand the seven emotions and six desires of mortals in the process of repaying favors. If you can see through the world of mortals and cut off the ties of the world, you can go to heaven and become a god with peace of mind, right? Then have you ever thought that you will do it for Xu Xian?" What kind of pain does it cause?"

Bai Suzhen looked blank, "I will be his wife, take care of him, protect him, and I will give birth to a child for him to continue his bloodline. Xianjun, I can't love him enough, how can I hurt him!"

Erlang Shen was even more unhappy when he heard her words. He snorted coldly, "As soon as you leave and leave Xu Xian to raise the child alone, is this treating him well? Your loving wife disappeared overnight. happy?"

Bai Suzhen was tongue-tied, she thought she could speak well, but she couldn't answer the questions asked by Xianjun.

"You stole money from the bank in Qiantang County, your brother-in-law was beaten, and he went to jail. If you married him, wouldn't you be willing to kill him?"

Bai Suzhen asked in surprise: "What? Xu Xianggong was imprisoned?"

Erlang Shen stretched out his hand towards the backyard, and a small box flew into Erlang Shen's hand from the backyard.

"I'll take Ku Yin away first. Remember! Xu Xian is not a tool for you to become a fairy, and he doesn't like you either. If you want to become a fairy, put your mind on the right path! Don't always think about those evil ways!" The umbrella in his hand was taken back, "This umbrella is not yours either, don't think about things that don't belong to you."

After taking back the umbrellas of Ku Yin and Xu Xian, Erlang Shen turned and left, Bai Suzhen chased after him and shouted: "Please leave your name, Xianjun!"

Erlang God sneered, "Speaking of which, we are neighbors. I am Guan Jiangkou Erlang God, and I will stay away from Xu Xian, otherwise Guanyin Bodhisattva will not be able to protect you!"

Bai Suzhen's heart was shocked, and she wanted to explain, but Erlang Shen had already drifted away and disappeared into the night.Bai Suzhen turned back and helped Xiaoqing up, "Xiaoqing, are you alright?"

Xiaoqing got up from the ground and straightened her skirt, "Sister, I'm fine. God Erlang is so scary, is he more powerful than Guanyin Bodhisattva?"

Bai Suzhen sighed, "I don't know who is stronger, but there is God Erlang protecting Xu Xian, so don't even think about repaying your favor."

Xiaoqing said sullenly: "Sister, I don't know why, but I don't think Erlang God's words are unreasonable. It's really not good to leave Xu Xian alone in the mortal world to take care of the children. Besides, children are born without mothers. Think about it. Pretty pathetic."

Bai Suzhen covered her face, "I also feel a little bit. Thinking about it this way, we are not going to repay a favor, but rather to make a revenge."

Xu Xian didn't know that Erlang Shen deliberately got him drunk and went to meet his love rival overnight.A fairy doesn't even leave an umbrella for his love rivals.Xu Xian slept until the sun was up, and when he got up in the morning, he washed his face and went to the front hall.

Xu Jiaorong brought him the warm breakfast on the stove, and complained in her mouth: "Tell me about you, if you don't know how to drink, don't drink it! Just pour it after two glasses, it's a good drinker!"

Xu Xian rubbed his head and smirked, "Brother-in-law was happy yesterday! Hey? Where are brother-in-law and master?"

"Who is like you, sleeping until noon. Your brother-in-law has already gone to work in the yamen, and Mr. Yang is afraid that he will suffer, so he also went with him."

"Then I'll go find them after I finish eating." Xu Xian took the porridge bowl and poured it into his mouth, Xu Jiaorong hurriedly stopped him, "Why are you in a hurry? Mr. Yang has already said, with him here, you don't need to worry. Eat slowly, eating too fast will hurt your body!"

Xu Xian drank two bowls of porridge and left after helping his sister clean up the dishes.

Xu Jiaorong said: "Why do you only eat such a small amount? You will be hungry in a while!"

Xu Xian rushed to the door and said with a smile, "My sister's buns are not tasty, I'm going to eat the stuffed buns from Uncle Lu's house!"

Xu Jiaorong threw the rag at him, "Stinky boy! Don't come back to eat if you have the skills!"

Uncle Lu believes in Buddhism, and his small restaurant only serves vegetarian food. Many good men and women like to eat at his house.The steamed stuffed buns in his house are unique. Last time he bought them for Erlangshen, Erlangshen said they were delicious.

Xu Xian called his buddy, "Please bring me a basket of buns stuffed with mushrooms and carrots, and another basket of sweet buns stuffed with pumpkin and sweet-scented osmanthus. You have to pack them up and take them away."

Xu Xian is a regular customer, and the waiter knew him. The waiter said: "Xu Xianggong, there are steamed buns made with mushrooms, but the buns made with pumpkin are not yet cooked. Would you like to replace them with bean paste stuffing? Anyway, they are sweet."

Xu Xian said: "No need to change, take your time, I'm not in a hurry."

The man said: "Okay! Don't worry, it will be done in about a quarter of an hour."

The man was busy preparing to go, and Xu Xian looked around boredly.It's not lunch time, there are not many customers in the store, but a customer sitting at the door caught Xu Xian's attention.

This man was a monk, he was wearing azure blue robes, and around his neck was a string of red sandalwood beads.There was a bowl of wontons in front of him, and the monk ate it in small bites, squinting his eyes and smiling, as if the wontons were the most delicious food in the world.Watching him eat, people who are full will also feel sweet.

Maybe Xu Xian stared at him for too long, the monk ate a few more wontons, and looked up at Xu Xian.

Xu Xian turned his head away as if nothing had happened, and tried his best to show that I was not looking at you, so I don't care to look at your cold and arrogant appearance.

The monk smiled and stood in front of Xu Xian holding a wonton bowl.

"Amitabha, donor, may I sit here?"

"Master, please sit down." Xu Xian just noticed that the monk's food was delicious, but didn't notice the monk's appearance.Taking a closer look now, Xu Xian gave a secret compliment.

This monk is very young, about 20 years old.There is always a smile in his eyes, and the corners of his mouth are always twitching slightly.Almond eyes, high nose bridge, red lips and white teeth, he looks very good and harmless.It is estimated that the female patrons will like him very much.

The monk asked, "Does the donor like this restaurant very much?"

Xu Xian nodded, "Well, Uncle Lu's food is delicious."

The monk found a friend, and his eyes rolled up with a smile, "The poor monk also likes his wontons very much, and he will be very happy every time he eats it. But... we Buddhist disciples pay attention to all things, and the poor monk always comes here to eat wontons. Said that I have too much appetite."

"I don't know what it means to be empty of the four major elements, but I think you are empty of all the four elements, and the gossip others say is also empty! Why do you care so much?"

The monk smiled and said, "The benefactor has the roots of wisdom."

Xu Xian waved his hand, "Where do I have any wisdom? I'm just thick-skinned. I can do whatever I like, eat buns if I like them. Even if I feed a whole street of bun shops by myself, that's my pleasure. Nobody cares!"

The monk clasped his hands together and chanted the Buddha's name, "Amitabha, today I can meet the benefactor here. After listening to the benefactor's words, the poor monk felt that many stagnant places in Buddhism suddenly became clear. Benefactor, you have a predestined relationship with the Buddha. Do you want to become a monk?" , practice with the poor monk?"

"Wow! Are you monks so careless about cultivating believers? If you meet anyone on the street, you will turn back and become a monk. Is your temple short of strong labor?"

The monk laughed, "Hahaha, the benefactor is really humorous. Poor monk Fahai, if you don't trust me, you can go to Jinshan Temple to inquire. The poor monk is not a liar, and our temple does not lack strong labor."

Xu Xian looked at Fa Hai carefully. Is this the legendary Fa Hai who doesn't understand love? "I've heard people say that Zen Master Fahai is an old man, right?"

"The poor monk is 70 years old this year, he just looks younger."

Xu Xian thought it was miraculous, do monks also have the technique of retaining the face?

"I believe that you are Zen Master Fahai, but I don't want to be a monk, my six sense organs are not clean, and I can't do all four things empty."

The monk asked: "Almsgiver, take refuge in my Buddha, you can save all living beings, and your merits are immeasurable. Why are you not happy?"

"If you don't like it, you just don't like it. My temper is such an ass. No one can force me to do something I don't like. You don't have to persuade me anymore!"

The clerk came over at this moment, with two drawers of buns wrapped in oiled paper, "Xu Xianggong, your buns."

Xu Xian paid the money, picked up the bun and left.Fahai chased him out of the store, "Benefactor! Don't wait! You are indeed destined to Buddhism, and the poor monk never lied to you, so don't run away!"

Xu Xian became impatient with him. He turned around and said to Fa Hai: "Master, since you want to discuss with me your outlook on life, values ​​and worldview, I can't help but ask you a question. Master, have you heard of Fa Hai? Amway?"