[Comprehensive Mythology] I don't want to have sex with you

Xu Xian felt groggy in his head, rubbed his temples, and opened his eyes weakly.

This is not his bedroom, but a meditation room with extremely simple furnishings, only a bed, a small table and a futon.There was a huge Buddha character written on the wall opposite the bed, Xu Xian glanced at it and quickly turned his head away, feeling dizzy.

Sitting on the futon, Fa Hai saw that Xu Xian was awake, and said calmly, "Master Xu, you are awake."

"Where is this?"

Fa Hai said, "This is Jinshan Temple."

Rubbing his face, Xu Xian sat up from the bed, opened the window and looked out.Calculate the height of the sun, it is almost time for lunch.

"Where are the wontons I bought?"

Fa Hai said: "The wontons have been sent back to Mrs. Li. Mrs. Li was very happy when she heard that Xu Shi mainly stayed in Jinshan Temple to copy scriptures and pray for her and her children. Stay here, you don't have to worry about things at home."

Xu Xian sighed in his heart, it seemed that Fahai had come prepared, Erlang God had just left with his front feet, when he tied himself up with his back feet.In addition, Fa Hai is a great virtuous monk of Jinshan Temple, so my sister and brother-in-law would never have thought that he was the one who tied them to Jinshan Temple after being unconscious.

Xu Xian asked Fahai: "Zen Master Fahai, I really don't understand why you treat me like this. Could it be that you have always held a grudge because I took away the two green and white snake demons last time?"

Fahai said: "The benefactor has misunderstood. The poor monk has no dissatisfaction with the benefactor. It's just that the two green and white snake monsters stole the money and disturbed the fate of mortals. Come and help."

Xu Xian sneered: "Fahai, are you stupid or am I stupid? Ask me for help, but you actually drugged me? What does it have to do with me if you want to catch green snakes and white snakes? They have already left Hangzhou, and you want to catch demons. Just go after me! What's the matter with you arresting me?"

Fa Hai lowered his eyes and clasped his hands together, "Amitabha, Master Xu, you have special meaning to Bai Suzhen. As long as you stay in the temple with peace of mind, the white snake will come to your door and cast you into the net. When the poor monk finishes eliminating the demons, Master Xu thinks Go wherever you go, and the poor monk will never stop you."

Xu Xian's patience had been exhausted by Fa Hai, he pulled out a dagger from his sleeve, "Fa Hai, I'm going home for lunch, get out of the way!"

Fa Hai raised his eyelids, "Donor, you are too angry."

Xu Xian snorted coldly, "I just have this temper, if you don't accept it, you have to hold it back!"

Xu Xian opened the door with a dagger in his hand, and outside the door stood more than twenty monks with big arms and round waists holding iron rods, surrounding the meditation room.Xu Xian said coldly: "If you don't want to die, get out!"

Fa Hai sat firmly in the room, "Benefactor Xu, please don't be impulsive!"

Xu Xian ignored Fa Hai and rushed out with the dagger in hand.Those monks took a fierce way, and an iron rod was danced vigorously by them.And Xu Xian's body was light and elegant, he moved around among such monks, stabbing left and right, and took a cold breath to throw a few talismans for them to stick on his body.

Some of the twenty or so monks were stabbed by Xu Xian, and some were immobilized by the magic talisman.Xu Xian rushed out of their encirclement, took a few steps to run up the courtyard wall and jumped out.

A monk who was stabbed in the abdomen crawled in and said, "Abbot, Xu Xian is too powerful...we can't stop..."

Fahai sighed softly, "Amitabha, Master Xu, the poor monk must stop you from continuing to commit murder!" He took off the beads around his neck and threw them out the window.

Jumping out of the courtyard wall does not mean that Xu Xian escaped from Jinshan Temple.Jinshan Temple covers a very large area. It is built on the mountain, and the mountain and the building of the temple are integrated.Xu Xian jumped out of the courtyard wall, but left the place where the monks usually live. He planned to run to the Daxiong Palace in front. There are many pilgrims there, and Fa Hai would not dare to kidnap him in public.

He took out a magic amulet from his bosom and stuck it on his leg, which would allow Xu Xian to run faster.As soon as the talisman was attached, a red sandalwood Buddhist bead fell from the sky and fell on Xu Xian's body. The bead shone with purple lightning, and Xu Xian fell to the ground convulsed by the electric shock.

Because the amulet was still attached to his legs, Xu Xian's legs were still running fast. He was like a big spinning top, kicking his legs and spinning rapidly on the ground.The beads only paralyzed Xu Xian's body, but did not paralyze Xu Xian's soul. Xu Xian remembered the skits he had read in his previous life, and now he may be walking according to the schedule in the legend...

Fa Hai walked over slowly. He tore off the magic amulet on Xu Xian's body, and saluted Xu Xian, "Benefactor Xu, you are too hostile. The poor monk never thought you would be so obsessed with obsession."

Xu Xian wanted to talk back, but his lips were numb and he couldn't make a sound.

The amulet was removed, but because of inertia, Xu Xian made a few more laps on the ground.

Fa Hai took away the beads and told the young monk beside him, "Take Master Xu to the Cishou Pagoda to entertain him. Don't neglect him."

The little monk clasped his hands together and bowed in salute, "Yes, Abbot."

The little monk helped Xu Xian away, and Xu Xian gave Fahai the middle finger with all his strength.That's right!Even if I can't speak, I will express my last anger and stubbornness.

The Cishou Pagoda was built on the top of the mountain, and Fahai arranged for several strong monks to take care of Xu Xian.They seized the dagger and talisman on Xu Xian, threw Xu Xian in a Zen room at the top of the pagoda, and left.

Xu Xian lay on the bed with numb hands and feet, feeling weak all over. He looked at the black beam above his head and sighed repeatedly.He went out to buy wontons in the morning, and he came out in a hurry. He left the Qiankun bag given to him by Erlang God at home, and he didn't bring the magic weapon for fighting and the magic weapon for communication with him.This time it is really called every day should not be, called the ground does not work.

It's useless to think too much, it's better to go to sleep, Xu Xian lay on the bed and fell asleep in a daze.

"Benefactor Xu, benefactor Xu, wake up and eat something!"

Xu Xian opened his eyes, and a chubby little monk stood three meters away from him and called him to get up!At this time, it was broad daylight, Xu Xian yawned, it seemed that he had slept from yesterday afternoon until morning.

The little monk who called Xu Xian to get up was probably about eight years old, with a fleshy face and a cute little dimple on the back of his hand.

Resting his chin with one hand, Xu Xian teased the little monk, "My child, what's your name?"

"Little monk Xuan Ning."

"Hey! The name is very stable!"

The little monk seemed a little afraid of him, "You...you get up, wash up and have breakfast! I'm leaving."

Xu Xian rushed to the door to block him, "Don't leave yet! You seem to be very afraid of me, why?"

The little monk took a few steps back, "You are a bad person, you injured all my brothers yesterday."

"You know I'm a bad guy, but you still dare to come?"

The little monk clasped his hands together and said solemnly: "I don't go to hell, whoever goes to hell! I am here to deliver food to you! I will become an eminent monk like the abbot in the future, and I can't be afraid of a bad person like you!" "

After hearing what he said, Xu Xian was no longer in the mood to tease children.

He smiled wryly and nodded, "People are complicated, demons are also complicated, and monks are also complicated. You can't tell the difference between good and bad. You go back and tell those monks who were stabbed by me that the wound is just an illusion. As long as you are not afraid of pain, There are no wounds."

Xu Xian went to the side to wash his face, the little monk scratched his bald head, "Benefactor, what do you mean? Brothers have shed a lot of blood! I have seen it all."

"My dagger just creates an illusion. They will feel pain and bleeding because they are afraid of pain. As long as they are not afraid of pain, my dagger will be useless and the wound will disappear."

The little monk seemed to understand this time, he nodded happily, "Thank you, benefactor." After speaking, he ran downstairs.

Xu Xian threw the towel and sighed: "Young monk, it's time to lose weight! The floor shook..."

Sitting at the table, Xu Xian picked up the chopsticks and put them down again.The breakfast brought by the little monk consisted of a multigrain steamed bun, a bowl of porridge that could make people look like a person, and a plate of dark pickles.Xu Xian couldn't help smacking his lips, his family's little flower wouldn't even know how to eat this food.

Xu Xian pushed open the door and shouted outside: "Come on! Come on! Who prepared the food for me? Are you trying to starve me to death? Jinshan Temple is so big, and you are all fat and strong, just give me one." People eat dry steamed buns, do you have any conscience!"

A black and strong monk pushed Xu Xian into the room, "The important place of Buddhism, don't make any noise! ​​Go in!"

Xu Xian was pushed back by him, and the monk locked the door. Xu Xian slapped the door and shouted, "Call your abbot Fa Hai! He goes to Qiantang every day to eat small wontons, and he eats dry steamed buns when he kidnaps me. He also said It's unreasonable! I want to see Fa Hai! Fa Hai! You have the ability to kidnap me, and you have the ability to open the door! Don't hide in and keep silent, I know you are at home!"

The monk outside the door said impatiently: "The abbot is busy with his affairs, so he has no time to care about your unreasonable demands! The food in the temple is just like that, whether you like it or not!"

After saying this, the monk at the door left.Xu Xian lay on the door and listened for a while, and after making sure that there was no one outside the door, he began to search around the room.

Apart from furniture, bedding and bed nets, there is nothing in this room.Xu Xian didn't plan to eat the food on the table, what if Fa Hai took another drug?He couldn't figure out what Fa Hai was thinking now, and he always felt that Fa Hai seemed to have fallen into a magic barrier.

There are two doors in this meditation room, one leads to the downstairs with a monk's handle, and the other door is tightly closed with a lock hanging on it.Xu Xian didn't have any tools at hand, so he picked up the chair and slammed it hard on the lock.

The lock may have been old, and the lock cylinder had rusted away. Xu Xian just smashed it, and the door opened.

Pushing open the door, the sun shone into the meditation room, and two swallows chirped past Xu Xian's eyes. They flew into the nest under the eaves, and a few chicks stretched their necks and called to them.This door originally led to the outside of the pagoda. Standing here, you can have a panoramic view of Jinshan Temple. The red walls and green tiles are hidden among the trees.

Xu Xian walked to the railing, lowered his head and looked down.This tower has about seven floors, and he is on the highest floor. Assuming that the height of each floor is about two meters, the seventh floor may be about 14 meters.Xu Xian shook his head, and jumped down from a height of more than ten meters. Without the power of the magic talisman, if he jumped down, he would be courting death.

Turning around and returning to the house, Xu Xian tore the sheets and quilt into strips, weaved a long rope and tied it to the railing at the top of the tower, and slowly climbed down along the long rope.It's the sixth floor, then the fifth floor, okay, take your time, it's the fourth floor!Keep going, we'll be on the third floor soon!But... the rope is not enough...

Xu Xian was swinging back and forth in mid-air, the height was a bit embarrassing, jumping down was a bit high.Want to climb up!But the monks in the Pagoda have already found him, how shameful he is to climb up!As if he was afraid of them.

Dangling in mid-air for a while, the face-saving Xu Xian still shouted to the top: "Hey guys upstairs! Can you stop standing there stupidly? Hurry up and pull me up!"

The escape plan failed again!

The monks are all ruthless characters, they did not give Xu Xian new sheets and quilts.Now Xu Xian's bed is covered with cotton wool, and the bed is also covered with cotton wool.He just took a nap for a while, and when he got up, he found that he had turned into a cotton ball, with white fluff on his clothes and hair.

The door leading to the outside of the pagoda was not sealed, so Xu Xian could stand outside and enjoy the scenery. He leaned on the railing and shouted into the distance: "Fa Hai! You fucking old bald donkey! Give me something to eat! Change me a new bedding! Otherwise, I’ll sing eighteen touches for you! Make all the little monks in your monastery clamor for disobedience! I’ll make your monastery unopenable!”

The monk guarding Xu Xian scolded impatiently outside the door: "Can you calm down for a while! The monks in the temple eat and use the same food as you, what are you dissatisfied with!"

Xu Xian said: "Why should I be satisfied? I'm not a monk in your temple, why should I abide by your rules and precepts!"

"The abbot said, you and him have a master-student relationship. This fate was destined as early as 800 years ago, so you are destined to become a monk and take refuge in my Buddha."

Xu Xian was about to be blown up, who do these monks think they are?Kidnapping others casually can still make up a mouth full of benevolence, righteousness and morality.Fa Hai has a relationship between a master and an apprentice, as if I have been exposed to a lot of glory, can I still have some face!

Xu Xian said to the monk outside the door: "Do you know why your abbot wanted to arrest the snake demon Bai Suzhen?"

"Because Master wants to kill demons and demons, and save all sentient beings."

Xu Xian made up indiscriminately: "Wrong! Your master likes Bai Suzhen, but the snake demon likes me! Your master wanted to eradicate the snake demon because of love and hatred, and he arrested me to torture me and make Bai Suzhen feel bad."

The monk outside the door seemed to be stimulated, "It's a bunch of nonsense!"

"Hey! You still don't believe me! I still have a love song to prove it!" Xu Xian cleared his throat and sang, "Who whispered in his ear, love me will never change, just for this sentence, ha~ah~ heartbroken Resentment! Did you hear that, this is the love song written by your master to Bai Suzhen, how hot it is."

"You...you are talking nonsense!" The monk's voice was full of crying.

Xu Xian rubbed his chin, the little monk is not good at fighting!Could it be that you were moved by my beautiful singing voice? "Little master, I'm an outsider. You won't believe me no matter what I say. How about this! You should observe the abbot more and see if he is particularly concerned about Bai Suzhen's news. He is unwilling to manage everything. If so, then he must be very affectionate, after all...Even though he hates that woman, he still doesn't want to miss every news from her. "

The monk said gruffly, "Shut up, I don't believe every word you say!"

"Okay! Okay! It's fine if you don't believe it." Xu Xian raised his orchid finger and continued to sing, "The rain breaks the heart and the wind sheds tears, the dream is lingering and the love is long! La la la la la la la la la la la! The West Lake Water my tears, I would rather turn into a ball of flames, haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah~"

The tune of this song is gentle, but there is a hint of determination in the enthusiasm of the words. The more the monk listened to the door, the more uncomfortable he felt. Finally, he yelled: "Ah—you don't want to sing any more!" After shouting, he ran downstairs .

Xu Xian flicked his sleeves boredly, "Cut! I can't resist being teased!"

Lying on the cotton batting and looking at the beams in a daze, Xu Xian suddenly heard a 'clang', as if something had fallen into the room.

He got up from the bed, went outside, and saw a hairpin on the ground with a pearl the size of a thumb embedded in it. "This is... Xiaoqing's hairpin?" Did Bai Suzhen and Xiaoqing come to save him?

Xu Xian stood upstairs and looked down. On the roof of the Swallowing Cloud Pavilion, Xu Xian saw Xiaoqing waving.

Xiaoqing waved at Xu Xian, she pointed at herself, made another grimace, then waved her hand, making a big cross with her arm.

Xu Xian guessed that someone was watching, so he couldn't speak, right?What Xiaoqing meant just now was that she...couldn't beat...Fahai?

There was no other way, so Xu Xian also gestured.Holding the corner of the robe, he turned around in a circle, then waved his hand, then pointed to himself, and finally put his hands on his hips.Didn't your sister come to rescue me?Is she still angry?

Xiaoqing frowned, what does this mean, he didn't have clean clothes to wear, so he was angry?

Xiaoqing tugged at the hem of her skirt, then waved her hand.She stretched out two fingers, gestured for a two, and then pointed at Xu Xian.Let alone the skirt, where is Erlang Shen?Why didn't I come to save you?

Xu Xian nodded with a smile, Xiao Qing meant that Lady Bai was not angry anymore, they both came to save her.Great to finally be home.

Seeing that Xu Xian just smiled and didn't answer her question, Xiaoqing anxiously gestured again.Where is Erlang God?Why didn't I come to save you?

Xu Xian cupped his hands at Xiao Qing, saying no thanks for his great kindness, he will definitely be grateful to you after he goes out.

Xiaoqing stomped her feet anxiously, Xu Xian, a fool, did he understand what he was gesticulating?