An American Homo in Paris

Marais

The best part of Benjy's day came when Allen got home.

He never—didn't even think he would—until he was in a foreign country did he understand what homesickness really was;At this time, even an English word can make him feel very kind.

Only when he was with Allen, he didn't have to pretend to understand the strange language; he didn't have to scramble to look up the dictionary and make a fool of himself in front of everyone; Cringe with characteristic, French contempt.

So when Alan opened the door and yelled, "Hey, Benjy, are you home?" Benjy rushed up to him like a puppy.

"I miss you so much." Benjie put his arms around Alan's waist and gave Alan a kiss, but instead of indulging in it, Alan quickly pulled Benjie away, and Benjie was almost sprained.

"Honey, are you still—are you still in your pajamas?" He loosened his tie, taking a look at Benjy's outfit, "You're still looking attractive in it, but you haven't been out all day, have you? "

"Well, I only went out once at lunch. But I was busy writing."

Allen rolled his eyes, "Yeah? How's your 'Gay America in Paris' blog doing? What crazy adventures did you write about today?"

oops.Well, it seems like Benjy hasn't updated his blog in weeks; it doesn't seem like he's been out of their place much either.But Allen doesn't need to be so serious.Because the diary he was about to write about Versailles had a ton of photos to deal with: he'd have to tag all the pictures before the whole shit was done.When Allen said that he came to Paris without doing anything and was getting more and more decadent, he felt very sad.

"I'm in Paris because you said you needed me. I'm writing this blog to make this transatlantic trip not just about you, but about our lives."

"God, Benjie! Don't you understand? I can't explain to my colleagues at work what you do," Allen covered his face with one hand, "I can't talk to you in pajamas so serious topic."

Benjie looked down at his well-worn sweatshirt and the commemorative T-shirt of the '[-]-meter long-distance race around the Lake Hauser Lake Ice Breaking Season①'.When he was in the United States, he would never mind going out dressed like this, but this is Paris, and he would be despised if he dressed like this.Even so, it didn't stop him from going out to buy French sandwiches for lunch in this outfit.

①TheHauserLake10KIceBreakerRun, a long-distance race around the lake held in Hauser Lake, Montana every spring when the ice breaks.

He probably shouldn't have told Ellen about it.

"Can't you tell your friends at work that I'm a blogger? I can wear jeans, okay?"

"Don't come here. I'm talking to you about this matter very seriously. Don't keep avoiding the point."

"I didn't. You haven't said anything yet. What happened?" Benjie reached out to grab Alan, but was pushed away.Who the hell is avoiding now?

"Do you remember Henry?" he asked.

Benji shrugged.Keep in mind that all of Alan's co-workers are working the equivalent of a full-time job. "The blond one?"

"He's not blond." Allen shook his head. "You've seen him three times. The one with the black hair and the beard."

"The blond one speaks English. He's pretty good looking."

"They all speak English. But if you try to speak French as much as possible, you'll become more fluent. Henry is gay, too, after all. He takes me to Bourgogne on weekends."

"Oh..." After staying in France for nine months, Benjie finally learned that Bourgogne means "Burgundy", and the red wine produced there is famous all over the world.But he hasn't had a chance to go there yet.Oh sure, he could have gone alone, but now he can't even carry out the simplest conversation in French, and he suffers wherever he goes.But what Allen said didn't sound like he was taking him there too, what he meant was more like—"It might be interesting to go there."

"Benjie, this is my date with him. I'm going on a date with Henry this weekend. When I get back, one of us will have to move out of here."

Hearing these words, Benjie's stomach convulsed, making him want to throw up.

"Are you...sorry, you mean...this is..." Good.He can't even speak English today.

"I signed the contract to rent this place. However, if you can pay the rent, we will figure out what to do next. After all, you want to live in the gay area—"

Allen's cell phone vibrated, interrupting what he was going to say next.He glanced at the message and replied the text with a smile.

"Listen, I have to go. Henry is waiting for me. I'm sorry." Allen pressed Benjie's shoulder, as if this would offset the impact of what he said on Benjie, "I'll be back on Tuesday, when we Say more."

This guy is fucking breaking up with me.

Want me to move out?Allen is the one who wants to work, has a job, and earns an income!He's the one with the work visa!He's the one with crazy programming skills that the tech companies in France will be vying for!He's the one who dragged Benjy halfway across the world to this place and made him a househusband!

Benjy had no money to pay the rent at all.He also has no money to go home.Here he lived completely, utterly on Ellen.And Alan wants to spend a romantic weekend with a man named Henry with red wine!

He staggered into the bathroom, barely spitting out all the French sandwiches he had eaten.

***

Gay America in Paris

That cheese is all alone②

②This is the last sentence of the nursery rhyme "The Farmer in the Dell" (The Farmer in the Dell); in the nursery rhyme, all people, animals, etc. that appear before the cheese have companions, only the last cheese does not.

Yes, yes, sorry I haven't updated the blog lately.I did take a trip to Versailles with my camera and I'll be posting pictures.But this blog is about me personally.A year ago, I gave my blog this name as I was getting ready to move to gay capital Paris with the love of my life.You all know how much this fucking meant to me and how fucking emotional I was.You join me in laughing at me for my verbal flaws, drooling over my favorite street food with me, and admiring my photos, especially my selfies.You're such a bunch of cute little bitches.You guys make me feel like I'm not alone when I'm homesick.I think that's why I'm writing this: I'm lonely.I'm injured.

Because I was dumped.

I wish I could say that everything is the best arrangement now; or I can objectively evaluate this relationship like an outsider.But in reality, getting dumped really sucks.Not to mention I was dumped in a foreign country, unemployed and unable to work legally, and didn't speak French.Oh, there's something French about this shit.

I don’t know when Alan used “MDR③” instead of “LOL” when he texted me; I don’t know when the accent he thought was cute made him feel embarrassed to go out with me; I don't know when I actually started to hate him, and I don't know when he stopped loving me.

③LOL is the abbreviation of English "laughoutloud" (haha), and MDR is the abbreviation of French "mortderire" (laughing to death).

I'm thinking of a new name for this blog.I can only think about it, and then call my mother-I know, I am such a grown-up, and it is ridiculous to ask my mother if something happens.But without a work visa, I can't do anything here.She called me money for the plane ticket.I plan to leave for China tomorrow, and I have to pass through many transit stations on the way. I will update the blog as much as possible.

Not only was I homesick, I was heartbroken.Not in the mood for a selfie today.

Benjamin

comment:

Boyluvsboys: Does that mean you're single now?just kidding.Sorry for you, man, hold on.

CarrieandMike: Benjamin!My goodness!I saw your YouTube video and came straight to the blog to check it out!Call me!