Goodbye Midsummer 2

Dinner took place in silence.

It's still the small dining table, the spices are still placed against the wall, and there are still small warm lamps above the head. Two people are just right, one more person is too crowded, and one less person is too lonely.

They ate in silence, and no one tried to break the silence.

After dinner, Shen Yi said that he would go downstairs to buy a drink, picked up the key from the shoe cabinet in the entrance, and went out.Qin Yang stayed to wash the dishes, but after 10 minutes, Shen Yi still hadn't come back.

Qin Yang opened the refrigerator door and saw that it was full of juice sodas, so he roughly guessed what was going on.

A small park at the corner downstairs is very quiet, and the children who like to play here on weekdays have all gone home because of the evening.Only the lonely amusement facilities are left, dragging out lonely shadows under the dim street lights.

In a corner of the small park, Shen Yi was sitting on a swing, with his face deeply buried between his knees, his back trembling constantly.

It was only when Qin Yang approached slowly that he heard extremely suppressed crying from over there.

The slight whimpering made his heart hurt more than the heart-piercing cry.He wanted to go to that person right away, hug him, and tell him, I'm not leaving.

However, he recalled the torment caused by his futile longing in these thousand days and nights, and the despair that came with this hopeless love.

In the final analysis, Shen Yi just loves him as a younger brother.There is no possibility of another relationship between them.

Always be brothers.

Eyes are swollen from crying.

Shen Yi sat in the small park, staring blankly at the dark bushes ahead, like a wandering ghost.

He rubbed his eyes, trying to make the swelling disappear as soon as possible, but found that he was just doing futile work.

After returning to the house, he saw such red and swollen eyes, how should he explain it to Qin Yang?

Forget it, let's not go back so early.

He bought a can of ice water from a roadside vending machine and put it on his eyes as an ice pack.The swing frame in the small park creaked, and he looked down at his own shadow stretching under the streetlights, and his thoughts kept wandering.

Qin Yang will not come back again.This is the last side.

Thinking of this, his heart ached.

I can't say anything to keep him, after all, it was me who made him make up his mind not to come back.

He loved so painfully that the pain could only erase me completely.

and I?What qualifications do I have to let him stay by my side?In what capacity do I want him to stay with me?

Can I give the love he wants?

If you can't give it, let him go.

let him go.

Even if there are thousands of reluctance in my heart.

When Shen Yi came back, he brought back a few bottles of beer.

Sitting in the living room, Qin Yang looked at Shen Yi with his eyes swollen from crying, and handed him the beer.He suppressed the pain in his heart and pretended he didn't know anything.

The two sat on the sofa, relatively speechless, just drinking in silence.

Shen Yi turned to him, leaning his head on the back of the sofa, his out-of-focus eyes fell on the floor, and suddenly said: "Do you still remember the first time we met? By the river, you taught me like an adult... At that time, you were only 14 years old, and now you are 20 years old. In the blink of an eye, six years have passed."

"I've grown up." Qin Yang smiled.

"Well, you've grown up." Shen Yi looked at him, then slowly looked away, "In the future, you will definitely meet more and better people who love you sincerely and won't make you suffer so much."

Qin Yang's eyes were hot, he barely held back his tears, and looked at him: "I have always felt very lucky to have met you."

Shen Yi squeezed the corner of his mouth reluctantly, but his smile collapsed in an instant.

"Me too..." Shen Yi slowly raised his hand, covering his eyes, two lines of tears fell uncontrollably, "If I hadn't met you, I would have become a cynical person."

He gritted his teeth and tried not to cry, only to find it was futile.Simply bury your face in your palms, deceiving yourself.

"I'm sorry, Qin Yang... People like me don't know what love is at all. My parents didn't teach me to love, and I don't know how to love others... You shouldn't like people like me at all. "

Shen Yi wiped away the tears on his face, recovered from the short-term emotional breakdown, and stood up before Qin Yang could speak:

"I'm going to wash my face."

After that, he turned and walked to the bathroom.

Qin Yang stayed on the sofa alone, recalling the tears on his face and those words just now, it was heart-wrenching pain again.

Ten minutes later, Shen Yi came back, looking calmer, but his expression was still lonely.

The night scene outside the floor-to-ceiling glass is bright and beautiful, but in the eyes of these two people who have their own concerns, it is nothing but meaningless light spots and lines.

"Recently, I often dream of you." Shen Yi said suddenly.

Qin Yang's heart trembled again.

"In the dream, you suddenly disappeared. Thinking about it now, maybe this is an omen." His out-of-focus gaze fell into the distance, as if he was about to go away at any time.

"I never realized that you are so important to me before." Shen Yi turned his head to look at him, and smiled bitterly, "Although this sentence is disgusting, it is also the last time I said it to you. From now on, you Can't hear it anymore."

——I'm worried that until the end, you don't know how important you are to me.

Qin Yang's heart, however, is like a pool of water that has been muddied, becoming more and more confused in the whirlpool.

The reason why he was able to say so resolutely that he would never come back was because he always thought that Shen Yi didn't love him.But why do all the signs today point to another possibility?

Why does Shen Yi's heart-wrenching pain make him feel that he is not just wishful thinking and unrequited love?

He also hated himself: Why did he still hold such unrealistic fantasies even when it was the last moment?

but……

but……

What if, what if...

In case, there is a one in ten thousand possibility for Shen...

like me……

With a "click", the light suddenly went out.The two fell into sudden darkness at the same time.

"It may have tripped." Shen Yi said, and was about to get up to check the switch, but someone held his hand in the dark.

In the darkness, Qin Yang's hands trembled slightly, feeling a little cold.

"Qin Yang? What's the matter?" Shen Yi sat back on the sofa and leaned forward with some worry, "Are you uncomfortable?"

One side of Qin Yang's face was in the dark, and the other side was illuminated by a distant night light.In the half-light and half-darkness, his eyes looking at Shen Yi became more blurred.

In an instant, emotion overwhelmed reason.

He approached Shen Yi, and slowly covered the other's lips.

Don't dare to act recklessly, just like a devout believer, only dare to touch lightly with fear, wanting to get more warmth, but worried about being disturbed.

In the darkness, he kissed Shen Yi tenderly, with the determination of a moth to the flame.

When they parted, he was mentally prepared to be blamed, but found that Shen Yi just looked at him blankly, apart from surprise, there was also an inexplicable emotion in his eyes.

"I'm sorry..." He was discouraged first, and then laughed at himself, "This is, the last time..."

The barely squeezed smile seemed to be crying.Even in the dark living room, Shen Yi could clearly see the change of expression on his face through the light outside the window.

"Recently, I often dream of you." Shen Yi said suddenly.

"I dreamed that I disappeared." Qin Yang took the words.

Shen Yi nodded, looked at his sad side face, and couldn't help saying: "But in the dream, every time you disappear, you will return to my side."

Qin Yang was startled, and slowly turned to look at him.

"I will hold you in my arms and kiss you like a child." Tears fell from the corners of my eyes again, and Shen didn't intend to wipe them away. "I didn't know how important you are to me until then."

Qin Yang stared at him blankly, speechless.

"It took me three years, until today, until now, to know how important you are to me."

Shen Yi stretched out his hand to caress Qin Yang's cheek, and pressed a kiss on his forehead, followed by his eyelids.Finally, the kiss landed on his lips.

Salty, mixed with the taste of tears.But Qin Yang felt that this was the happiest taste in the world.

He held Shen Yi's face tremblingly, unable to believe it.

"is this real?"

Shen Yi pressed against his forehead, and slowly closed his eyes:

"I don't know, maybe we are all in a dream."