anzi

As Anqi got better day by day, he talked more and more, and his temper became more lively.But in contrast to him, Huo Jingze remained silent day by day.An Dong, Jin Jingnian and Xing Yu all talked to him one after another. Although they didn't say it directly, Huo Jingze knew that they were all worried about An Qi's future with him.

Later, Huo Jingze talked to his parents again, and then became more and more silent.

After more than three months, Anqi finally recovered, and he was able to walk slowly with the aid of crutches.

After four months, I finally lost my crutches and walked around on my own, but my limp was as fast as a turtle.

During that time, Xing Yu often stewed bone soup for him, saying that it had a miraculous effect on bone healing, so An Qi drank it obediently, and almost vomited in the end.

When the autumn and winter semester of junior year was approaching November, An Qi went to school to withdraw from school. He hardly attended a few classes in the previous semester, and later applied to the school for a temporary suspension due to injury, but he hadn’t attended classes for so long. Qi didn't like this major, so he resolutely chose to drop out after discussing with several of his parents.

After finishing the formalities, An Qi went to the dormitory to pack his unnecessary things. Tang Ye helped him clean up beside him, and said enviously, "How nice it would be if I were you..."

An Qi was a little carried away, and said: "You might as well drop out of school, brother, don't waste your wonderful youth on things that torture yourself."

"I can't take a break from school."

An Qi said, "There's nothing I can do. As soon as the application is submitted and the formalities are processed, I will be dismissed."

Tang Ye hesitated for a long time, and finally said as if he couldn't help complaining: "You are not me, you don't understand how important family and origin are to ordinary people like us and how far away. You can suspend school without any scruples , leave school, even if you don’t have a diploma, you can do what you like, and boldly pursue your own ideals, because you have confidence, and your family is your confidence.”

An Qi subconsciously wanted to refute, but was stopped by Tang Ye and said: "Yes, you have never relied on your family, but the influence of the family is invisible and huge, and it was doomed from the moment you were born. Can you Deny that if you were not born in the military region, without such high-status and accomplished parents, you would have experienced sitting in an airplane and overlooking the ground from the sky when I was a child when I was a child? Have you ever touched a car and driven a racing car to know what you really like? Find the ideal you are fighting for? Can you buy several sports cars at sky-high prices just to study the parts inside it?"

An Qi's face turned red when Tang Ye said it.

"We are not in the same world at all, and I can't live unscrupulously like you."

In the end, An Qi fled downstairs with his scattered things in his arms, threw them into the trunk and got into the car.

Huo Jingze asked him that everything was packed.

An Qi nodded, and couldn't help but tell Huo Jingze what happened just now.

Huo Jing chose to drive home, and said to An Qi absent-mindedly: "Maybe our thinking is a bit extreme, but our different identities do not question other people's right or wrong position."

An Qi put his hand into the hat and scratched it, frowned and said, "I don't think there's much difference. If he really doesn't like it, why waste his time and energy on it and make something he likes?" Is something bad?"

"He may be trying to do it, but with little success, so he has no fighting spirit. Maybe he is right, after all, for him, resources are too limited, and the more bleak the road ahead, the less he dares to leave the old road , can only stand still."

An Qi sighed, "If he needs me in the future, maybe I can try my best to help him. By the way, shall we pick up Zha Mao?"

"Zha Mao was kidnapped by my grandpa, and he ruined all the medicine garden that my grandpa tidied up this year."

An Qi snorted, "Is this old man going to return the dog to me?"

Huo Jingze laughed and said, "Zhimao has released his natural instincts there for so long, I'm afraid that if I take it back rashly, I won't be able to trap him at home. If he jumps out the window, it will be over."

An Qi sighed: "Forget it, let's go home, and someday go to your grandpa's to see the fried hair." After he finished speaking, he touched Huo Jingze's hand and said meaningfully: "I haven't seen you for a long time. Exercising, it makes me scratch my head, let's go home and exercise?"

Huo Jing chose to smile, and drove home without saying a word.

As soon as An Qi entered the door, he put his arms around Huo Jingze's neck and stopped talking. He kissed the sofa from the door and was about to take off his clothes, but Huo Jingze grabbed him abruptly. So An Qi gave up taking off his clothes and focused on kissing people, constantly teasing Huo Jingze's mouth was wrapped, and the two kissed into the room again, taking off their clothes again and being blocked again.

Anqi was furious, angry, and shouted: "Huo Jingze!"

"Anqi," Huo Jingze's expression was suddenly indifferent, and he asked softly, "Can we talk first?"

An Qi frowned, and reluctantly lay down in Huo Jingze's arms, "What are you talking about?"

Huo Jingze stared at the ceiling, as if he had finally made up his mind, he asked, "An Qi, why do you like me?"

"I..." The first question stumped An Qi, who really didn't know what to say.

Huo Jingze asked him: "At first, you got close to me because you thought I would care about you and take care of you, right?"

Anzi nodded.

Huo Jingze asked him suddenly: "Do you regard me as your father?"

An Qi chuckled: "How is that possible! My dad doesn't look like you at all."

"I'm not talking about looks, but about that feeling. When I took care of you at that time, it reminded you of when your father took care of you when you were young, didn't you?"

An Qi nodded honestly, and then immediately explained: "But not later! After we were together, I clearly knew that you are you, you are different from others, and what you gave me is what no one else can give me."

"for example?"

"Accompany and family." In fact, there is another most important reason An Qi didn't say, because he didn't know how to say it, every time he had doubts or got stuck in choice, Huo Jingze would guide him well. one direction.

"But anyone who likes you will give you these two things."

An Qi was a little disgusted, and drew circles on Huo Jingze's chest with his fingers: "I don't care much, I only like what you give."

Huo Jingze put his arms around Anqi's shoulders, his eyes fell on the wall lamp on the edge of the ceiling, and asked deeply, "Anqi, have you thought about our future?"

"Yes!" An Qi raised his upper body excitedly and looked at Huo Jingze and said, "When I was the most boring in the hospital, I was thinking every day, when you were not at work, we could go for a ride with fried hair, go for a walk Skateboarding, going for a run in the countryside, or watching a movie, climbing a mountain, traveling, how romantic it is.”

"You're talking about the future, but I'm asking about the future."

An Qi frowned, feeling that Huo Jingze was too inexplicable today, he was a little absent-minded early in the morning, he didn't talk to him very much, he didn't smile much, as if he was like this when he was hospitalized.

Huo Jingze asked him, "For example, when you were 36 years old and I was 51 years old."

An Qi thought for a while and said, "It hasn't changed much from now, right? You're still your doctor, and I'm still modifying my car. Was the fried hair still there?"

"What about when you were 51 and I was 66?"

"66... ​​You should retire, right? Then I will accompany you to do whatever you want, such as traveling around the world, and... oh, what are you asking for!"

Huo Jingze asked him again: "When you are 66 years old and I am 81 years old, like my grandfather, what will happen to us?"

An Qi was silent, thinking of Grandpa Huo Jingze's thin body, hunched back, and the way he wobbled when he walked, what else could he do at that time?walking the dog?Grandpa Huo didn't seem to be moving.Looking at the vegetable garden?It's a pity that I can't work in the fields myself.reading?My old eyes are blurry and I can't see the words.

"My grandfather can still see his children and grandchildren around his knees, but we have no children. What should we do at that time?"

An Qi raised his body, his expression was uneasy, and he frowned and asked, "Huo Jingze, what are you going to do?"

Huo Jingze looked at the ceiling and was silent for a long time, but finally he said calmly: "An Qi, let's break up."

An Qi looked at him without speaking for a long time, and asked in disbelief: "Huo Jingze, you want to break up with me just because of those illusory and invisible futures?"

"That's not illusory, that's something we have to think about."

An Qi watched him sit up, and growled: "Isn't it good for us to live happily in the present? Why bother to involve the future that can't see anything! That's right, when you asked me just now, I really answered no. Come up, but the road is walked out step by step, how can I know what will happen in the future if I have not walked through it!"

"Then you are ready. When you are at your father's age and watch your lover become like my grandpa, have you thought about it?"

Anqi was annoyed: "I haven't thought about it and I don't want to think about it! I just want to walk down with you!"

Huo Jingze sat up and leaned against the head of the bed and saw Anqi's red eyes, "Anqi, I always thought that living in the present and living in peace and stability in this world are somewhat irresponsible behaviors, not doing anything for the future. Good plan, without sufficient consideration, just do it according to your own momentary liking, if you wait until later, your mood changes again, what should you do at that time, regretting at that time is useless.”

“就是因为我们年纪差了15岁你就要和我分手？那些20岁的找个40岁的有的是，还有20岁找80岁的呢，你凭什么相信我们之间没有未来！你凭什么否定我们之间的一切！”

"I didn't deny it!" Huo Jingze clenched his fists, "I don't know what those people think, but I know my own thoughts, don't say you are a man, even if you are a woman, I still have to think about it. When you are successful in your career and in good health, I am too old to walk, how will you introduce me to others?"

An Qi said stubbornly: "But we can go on together, if we haven't reached that point, how do you know I can't do it!"

Huo Jingze reached out to hug him, but Anqi waved him away angrily. Huo Jingze grabbed him persistently, put his arms around his neck and asked him, "Anqi, I just don't want you to regret it in the future. When I was seriously injured and unconscious, I saw your mother, your father and Mr. Luo, how did it feel when the three of them told each other about their mistakes in the past? The three of them hated their mistakes for 20 years because of a momentary mistake and impulsiveness, and finally waited for the consequences It’s only when it all lands on you that you feel repentant.”

An Qi grabbed Huo Jingze's front and trembled slightly.

"Anqi, I don't want you to be like them. That's right, you like me very much now, but after the passion fades away in the near future, there will only be a life that doesn't change much day after day, year after year, I'm afraid you will feel boring at that time, regret it, and feel that I have harmed you."

An Qi said eagerly: "No!"

Huo Jing chose to press Anqi's forehead, "As you said just now, how do you know if you haven't made it to that point? At that time we had nothing, we had no children, we only had each other. Will it be by that time? Just look at each other and hate each other? Hate each other?"

An Qi's tears fell on the clothes, one drop after another.

Huo Jingze blinked and covered his tears, "Anqi, shall we separate for a while? I'll give you five years, and I'll give you five years to think about our future. I hope you can think clearly after five years. , Do you still want to be with me? Is that okay?"

An Qi clutched Huo Jingze's clothes, his shoulders trembled slightly, and his voice seemed to come out of his throat, "But, I don't want to be separated from you."

"I don't want to, you're so nice, I'm afraid you'll disappear as soon as you let go," Huo Jingze held An Qi's slippery face, forehead to forehead, tears flowed into each other's mouths, tasting each other's bitterness. "However, I have been thinking about it for a long time, countless days and nights. When you opened your eyes, I began to think about our future. The more I thought about it, the more I was afraid. I even thought that I might not live to the age I imagined. But I am gone, you are alone, I am afraid that you will feel lonely again, and you will feel that your home is gone, but at that time, I can no longer hold your hand or kiss your face .”

An Qi tugged at Huo Jingze's back and growled, "Why do you think about these things!"

"Because I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I don't want it to be just a momentary impulse. I don't want it to be because of the warmth of being with each other for a while. It's a promise that can only be made after careful consideration, waiting and the test of time."

"Huo Jingze, why are you doing this..."

"At least now, you have parents who love you and a warm home to protect you. I think I can leave for a while."

"You are different! Why can't I have this family when I have that family, why do I lose this when I get that! Why are you doing this to me!"

Huo Jing chose to kiss his wet lips, and asked him in a low voice, "An Qi, promise me? We'll be separated for five years, and there's only five years left. Let's think about each other carefully, shall we?"

Anqi gritted his teeth, but still refused to nod. Huo Jingze took his hand and slowly rolled off the ring from the root of his finger. Anqi hooked his finger vigorously, and pushed Huo Jingze's hand with the other hand, but After struggling for a long time, Huo Jing chose to take off the ring in the end, his fingers were red.

"Huo Jing chooses you bastard!" An Qi stretched out his hand to hit him, throwing him on the bed, trembling and convulsing, his hands had no strength, his fists were like raindrops falling on flower petals, trembling and shattering. "You bastard! You bastard..." Huo Jingze hugged him, hugged him tightly, his trembling and panting chests pressed against each other, and the aftermath of the resonance was pain.

Huo Jingze hugged him tightly, kissed his face with wet lips, licked away the tears on his face, and kissed his earlobe.

An Qi gritted his teeth and pulled Huo Jingze's clothes. "Okay, I promise you! I promise you!" He seemed to hear a loud bang in his ears. He thought he had Huo Jingze, Bo Mao, and his own home when he said these four words Suddenly turned into ruins.

For the first time in half a year, it was like the roar of a train when we parted.

They tore their clothes vigorously, hugged each other vigorously, kissed each other desperately, and collided and lingered with each other desperately, not knowing when and where.

again and again.

When the trembling calmed down and the breathing was stable, the body was only cold.

"Are you going to work during the day tomorrow? I happen to move all my things out. Leave the fried hair to you, I don't want it anymore."

"Don't you think about it?"

"With it staying here with you, I won't go too far."

"It is said that 36 is a hurdle, but you are really a big hurdle for me." Huo Jing chose to press behind him, and kissed heavily and lightly on the suture line left by his right shoulder blade. "Did I sew my heart in when I sewed your wound?"

An Qi laughed, and the tears kept flowing down and melted into the pillow, "It's good, I have two hearts, and when one dies, the other remains."