when you look at me

The last time Yuan Yiping hung up on Chen Shuo in such embarrassment was in his sophomore year.He accidentally saw the photos in Chen Shuo's phone, and Chen Shuo ran away holding the phone.Yuan Yiping endured a week of shock and anger, and then received a call from Chen Shuo.

The Nokia N96 given by Chen Shuo vibrated in his palm, as if it was pricking his hand, and he threw the N96 far away.But the two words on the screen were black and white, Chen Shuo——Chen Shuo, it was like a spell, or rather, a curse.

If he didn't answer, the phone kept vibrating, and after one call was finished, another call came.Yuan Yiping knew that he had many ways to reject the call, such as turning off the phone, or leaving the phone where it was and then going out.But there was a flash of luck in Yuan Yiping's heart, in case Chen Shuo was just being harassed, in case... there could be many reasons.

When it came to the sixth call, Yuan Yiping pressed his lips tightly and answered it.

Later, Yuan Yiping thought that at that time, if Chen Shuo could find a reason—no matter how far-fetched or full of loopholes the reason was, he would probably believe him.

But Chen Shuo was quiet for a few seconds, and said in a low voice, "I'm sorry, Yiping, I—"

Yen Yiping didn't know what was behind "I" until now, because he hung up the phone violently with trembling hands.

The moment I pressed the red button, there seemed to be something in my heart that completely fell apart.

Then, like avoiding snakes and scorpions, he changed the phone number.

"Yuan Yiping, let me finish. Before we met in Changsha, we hadn't seen each other for five years. How should I say it? I think this is fate. I thought I didn't feel much for you after so many years, but It turned out not to be like this. That night on the bank of the Xiangjiang River, I really wanted to hug you. In my eyes, you were still that sixteen or seventeen-year-old high school student playing basketball alone on the basketball court, and I watched you quietly. I know you hate me and look down on me, but can you not give me a chance. I am 33 years old this year, and now I am very anxious when I think of you. I am afraid that one day I will be really old. I was persistent in the first half of my life. It has become a joke for the rest of my life."

Ten minutes later, Chen Shuo sent such a message on WeChat.

Yuan Yiping stared at the screen without moving for a long time.

What was persistent in the first half of life has become a joke in the second half of life.Yuan Yiping thought that Chen Shuo had the confidence to be persistent, because Chen Shuo knew that he was special to Yuan Yiping.

Since when?Ten years is too long.Was it when Yuan Yizhi first introduced them to each other?At the draft beer stand with noisy people, Yuan Yiping's nose was itchy due to the smoke from kebabs. Sitting opposite him, Chen Shuo had crescent-like eyes, which made Yuan Yiping realize for the first time that he might understand What is "tenderness like water"; or later when Chen Shuo watched "A Chinese Journey to the West" at Chen Shuo's house, Chen Shuo's tears flowed down his cheeks with a thud, as if hitting Yuan Yiping's chest.When exactly did it start?I don't know, I can't tell, but when Yuan Yiping realized it, his eyes were already like moths tending to the light, and he couldn't help chasing Chen Shuo's eyes.

At that time, Yuan Yiping even thought, how could Chen Shuo and Yuan Yizhi be together?An accountant in the office of the largest state-owned enterprise in Gancheng, and a supermarket clerk who didn't finish high school.

When Yuan Yiping thought this way, he knew that he was not marveling at the beauty of love.

He is jealous.But he can't say, because Yuan Yizhi is his brother.

Thinking of Yuan Yizhi, my heart sank again.Yuan Yiping wiped his face vigorously, he felt that he was an asshole - even though Chen Shuo was no longer Yuan Yizhi's boyfriend, Yuan Yizhi would always be his brother.

Yuan Yiping said to himself silently in his heart, you can't bully the dead, Yuan Yiping.