disqualified hero

The efficiency of Chongming Middle School is very high. Shuji Tsushima was assigned to the class as quickly as possible. The teacher in this class was a little enthusiastic about him. It may be that the full-score test papers caught his eyes when he entered school.

Grades, grades, grades, awards, awards, awards, other than the above, the school doesn't care much.

The teacher said cryptically, "Compared with public schools, our school is more impersonal." He said, "Students may care more about their own affairs."

[Sophisticated individualist. ] Shuji Tsushima suddenly thought of the definition that Dazai once gave to the University of Tokyo. Many elites in the world are utilitarian and individualistic.

"I understand, teacher." He smiled and nodded in response, and the teacher said with a sigh of relief, "If you have any questions, you can talk to the life teacher."

Open the door of the class and enter the classroom. The classroom is quiet and spacious. The bell for class has not rang yet, but there is no whispering. Shuji Tsushima looked at the students who were hard at work, and forced a smile on his face. The teacher walks in a very strange posture in the promenade that he walked through. First, he sticks out his toes cautiously, and then lands lightly on the soles of his feet, as if he is afraid of making noise.

"Try not to make noise when walking." The floor is made of marble, and the heels of the uniform leather shoes issued by the school are inlaid with steel plates. It is not easy to make no noise. "It will disturb other students."

Shuji Tsushima just said "I understand".

The teacher put the lesson plans on the podium and made a little noise. Only a few students looked up at him, and most of them didn't even give him a look. They didn't look up until he coughed.

"Let me introduce today's new classmate, Osamu Dazai."

Tsushima Shuji used Dazai Osamu as his pseudonym.

Those students turned their heads in unison, staring at him with black and white eyeballs. Their movements were too neat. Looking down from the podium, they could only see the arc of their turns, the angle of raising their heads, and how far they opened their eyes. Imprinted in Shuji Tsushima's eyes, he always felt that what was staring at him was not a group of people, but a stylized doll.

They seem to be different, but they are actually the same.

[really interesting. ]

……

Before taking up the job, Oda Sakunosuke went through a brief training, and the life teachers of other grades introduced the job content to him. He heard the other party talking non-stop, and he was a little confused: "Do you start working as soon as you enter school?"

The life teacher's eyes flickered, and he hesitated in speaking. Oda Saku just stared at him. His eyes were actually empty, but for some reason, the teacher read tolerance and patience from the other person's eyes, so he spoke slowly. It has become smoother: "Under normal circumstances, we will have a training period of one to two months. Considering that it is August now, this semester will only start, and the teachers who take office will start training in June. If you enter the job now, you should They don’t enter work until winter.”

Oda said: "Is this a special situation?"

He is sharp and to the point.

"Ah." The teacher looked left and right, and then said after wandering for a while, "Because there are not enough people."

"Manpower?" he said, "Life teacher?"

"Yes." He seemed to have thought of something terrible, shrunk his head, "the students here, they barely respect the teachers, but I heard that they will bully some weak teachers who don't teach well, and treat us Even less respectful, the previous Sanchuan was bullied by students until he left."

"Ah, bullying, is it the kind of campus bullying?" Oda Saku still had no idea.

"Almost." The man muttered, and he was filled with righteous indignation, "Put frogs, ants, and centipedes in the closet, lock the toilet, and tear up books," he paused, even more angry , his hair was almost standing on end, "Those students, little bastards," he immediately shut up after finishing speaking, this is not what the teacher should say, "Then it got worse, and even dared to beat the life teacher, and now I don't know who did it. "

Oda was surprised, it was quite different from what he thought: "Beat up the teacher?"

"That's right." He said, "Those students didn't respect what the teacher said at all, and they were under a lot of pressure. They vented their pressure through violent means. Didn't you hear that the disadvantaged students in this school are also very persecuted." He concluded, "If it weren't for the high salary, who would stay in this kind of place."

After venting, he was in a much better mood, but he was also worried that Odasaku would retreat, so after explaining the rest of the points, he told him, "I will start working tomorrow", and then ran away to do my own business.

"By the way." Everyone ran away a few steps, and turned around to say to Oda Saku, "If you find a student's internal problem, don't intervene, let them solve it by themselves, if you intervene, even you will be retaliated against, listen Are you here?" Like a chicken waiting to be slaughtered, he thought of something that made him shiver, retracted his neck, and ran away in a hurry.

[That's what I said, but I don't know exactly what will happen. ] Oda prepares to go back to the room assigned to him by the school. As another teacher said, the treatment of these teachers and staff is very good. The living place is comparable to a hotel, and you can check in with your bags. He was reminded by Shuji Tsushima I brought two sets of clothes to school, and I felt that it was enough.

On the way back to the room, you have to pass through the large playground. The teacher’s residence is separated from the students’, and the treatment is better, and the location is a little remote.

When Odasaku walked, his mind was empty. He just took this opportunity to appreciate the beautiful scenery of the campus again and appreciate the almost purely Western-style buildings. There are many Western-style remnants in Yokohama. After the war, it became a paradise for soldiers. It is said that many women in the venue at that time became prostitutes, while the men became beggars.

[What was the predecessor of this building, maybe the Governor's Palace, was there a Governor at that time? ]

His associations are grotesque and strange. After hearing some of his whimsical ideas, Shuji Tsushima laughed loudly, saying that he did not expect his associations to have Baroque colors.

He should be talking about the Baroque in literature, which is full of deliberately crafted art and gorgeous forms, but the content is empty and not worthy of in-depth scrutiny.

The low and weak sound came into his ears, and he thought of the violin, the bow and horsetail vibrating on the strings at a high frequency and in a small range, what kind of sound came out, like a human moan, It was accompanied by heart-wrenching pain.

That was the voice he heard.

Oda Sakunosuke quickened his pace, rounding the last corner of the building, his footsteps were so light that he almost disappeared, and no one could find his trace as long as he wanted to.

Three people are beating one person.

The person who was beaten was a man. He knelt on the cold and hard tiled floor and covered his head with his hands. Surprisingly, there were three men and one woman, more precisely two men and one woman. The man punched him The victim's schoolbag was kicked further away, and the books and stationery inside were scattered into a ball.

There is a pond near here. Although there is a water changing device in it, the gardener has neglected to clean it recently. The water has not been changed for a while. The water is dark green, with an annoying moss floating on the surface, and there are a few dead leaves. , other than that is the lone textbook, it is spread wide, the white pages of which cannot be read clearly are soaked in disgusting water.

Oda Sakunosuke took a second to think about whether he should deal with this matter. To be honest, the complexity of his past is beyond normal human comprehension, just like people never know how a person can have both A kind soul and a job called killer.He is kind and numb, and has a high tolerance for pain. Before Dazai Osamu's incident, he hardly knew what pain is, let alone know that death will bring pain to those close to him. Son.

Because I was forced to understand—like a mollusk snail was suddenly pulled out of its shell, and someone sprinkled salt on its soft body, and the kind side of the soul made him unable to treat others after experiencing the pain. Do something that causes suffering.

Even so, Oda Sakunosuke still cannot appreciate the harm that bullying brings to the weak. He believes that beating is commonplace, and it is an inseparable part that must be experienced in the process of human growth.

[Teacher, you shouldn’t stand by and watch bullying. ]

It is actually this idea that guides his behavior. He learned from the novel that a teacher with a conscience cannot ignore his students being hurt.

"Hey, you guys." His voice was still flat. In the words of Shuji Tsushima, eternal calm is one of the rare "charming qualities" in Oda Saku, but few people can understand it. What?"

The content of the words lacked deterrence, the three students looked up at him, and then showed a weird smile of disdain, and then they went on with their business, punching and kicking the students.

The student who was attacked took a look at him through the cover. Oda Saku knew him. I saw this student in Ibuku's classroom yesterday. It doesn't mean that he has a good memory. The other party has the same, super-memory-like memory.Oda Saku remembered him only because the boy named Tokai was too conspicuous.

[His eyes, the way he looks at Ibuku is like looking at a god. ]

[It's really distressing. ] He looked at the students who were still punching and kicking, and wondered if he should take some excessive measures to stop them, [Teachers can’t hurt students, right, in this case...]

With a kick, he rushed to Donghai at a speed that was almost impossible to catch with the naked eye. His posture was comparable to that of a vigorous cheetah. His body was very flexible and flexible, and he could get into the gap between people and block the poor Donghai. In front of him, and the above series of actions only happened in a few breaths, he gently released the student's strength, did the student's stretched limbs touch him, maybe not.

In the next second, he brought Donghai out.

"Even if you can't achieve friendship between classmates, you must avoid physical collisions." Oda Saku said, "Class is about to start, won't you go?"

The three students stared at him, well, now their eyes on the new teacher have also changed, they are assessing, assessing Odasaku's aggressiveness, or remembering his face.

……

"Then, and then!" Shuji Tsushima rested his chin with both hands, the flesh of his cheek was supported upward by external force, coupled with slightly rounded eyes with drooping corners, it was very cute, he had a youthful look on him, which was different from him The natural precocity is contrary, but Shuji Tsushima always has many contradictory qualities in him.

"Then, there is no more." Oda said, "The three students left, the one who was bullied, I originally wanted to take him to the infirmary, but he left by himself, he is called Donghai, I I saw the name on his notebook." He was in a hurry when he left, picked up his schoolbag and ran, picked up the pens and erasers scattered along the road, but didn't have time to take care of the notebooks farther away, Oda Saku didn't know when the person left Out of some mentality, I picked up the notebook, half of it was soaked in water.The words on the cover hadn't soaked with the water yet, so Odasaku could see clearly.

"Shota Tokai."

"what? What."

Oda Saku said, "His name is Tokai Shota."

"Oh." Shuji Tsushima said, "Aren't you the unlucky ghost who is in the same class as me?" Seeing Oda Tsukuru looking at himself in confusion, he explained in detail, "Same class and grade, it's an incredible fate, right?"

"No, I don't think so." Oda Saku said, "There are only three grades in total, and there are four classes in each grade. It's not very high in terms of probability, and it's impossible for you, Tsushima, not to investigate before you enter the class. , frankly speaking, there is nothing accidental about it."

"You're really boring." Shuji Tsushima said, "I shouldn't have asked you to guess this question. You see, Odasaku, you know me far better than others, so in terms of small-scale surprises Slightly insufficient."

"Then do you think there is something wrong with Donghai?" Oda Saku asked again.

"I'll correct my words." Shuji Tsushima said after a moment of silence, "You are very interesting, I like your intuition as precise as a wild beast."

"You are such a hard-to-please person, Tsushima." Oda Saku said, "I like you for a while and don't like it for a while. People who are too fickle always make people puzzled."

"Okay, okay." Shuji Tsushima's smile widened, "As you said, I'm a hard-to-please person, so let me tell you something interesting about Tokai Shota I observed in class Bar."

……

Shuji Tsushima has a way of figuring out people's hearts. Natsume Soseki and Taneda Santohi know this, and think it is the special talent of the "Tsushima" family. If he wants to, he can make people hate him quickly within 10 minutes. At the same time, It's okay to make people like him quickly within 10 minutes.

After entering Chongming Middle School, he quickly formulated a strategy and decided to make half of the people like him and half of them hate him.

"My name is Osamu Dazai." When he introduced himself, those eyes that were born with peach blossoms flew around the classroom, and when he saw them, most unaccompanied women and some men would feel that they were "loved". illusion.

The so-called "feeling of love" in his eyes is exactly what he said.

After class, it is rare for the students not to be immersed in their homework and gather around the newcomers to ask questions. They also know how difficult the transfer test in Chongming Middle School is. The students are all very smart. Guess a lot and get closer to him.

"Dazai-san, Dazai-san." The voice was like a melodious bird, "Where did you come from?"

"A little-known public school in Tokyo."

"Dazai-san, have you passed the transfer test?"

"Ah, this score is amazing!"

"That's great, do you have any clubs you want to join?"

"Do you want to come to our tennis club?"

"The Kendo Club National Competition has also entered the top ten."

"Home Economics? Our biscuits are delicious."

"Robot, robot..."

Suji Tsushima suddenly became interested. The one who invited him to join the robot club was a well-dressed male classmate. He had an unconcealable pride on his face. Looking at his hairstyle and figure, he was much taller than most men of the same age. To be outstanding or exquisite, and when he looked at Tsushima, there was a certain kind of look in his eyes. When he found that Tsushima Shuji was looking at him and showing a knowing smile, the light in his eyes became even brighter.

"Robot club, sounds very interesting." He asked eagerly, "This classmate, what's your name."

"I'm Takano Kazumoto, the president of the robot club."

"Are there other members of the robot club besides you in the class?"

"There are Ono, Si, Mingshan..." At this point, Gao Ye and Yuan paused, and said in an extremely disdainful tone, as if talking about the scum of the world, "There is also Donghai."

The word "Donghai" has a weird magic power, let alone Takano, even the other students around him have an unhappy look on their faces. When people mention bedbugs, mice, and cockroaches, their expressions should be similar to them. The look of disdain and disdain should be given to the filth in the sewer, not to people.

[Ah, found the situation. ]

Shuji Tsushima happily thought: [There is nothing new, but discoveries on new maps are always gratifying. ]

He hesitated to speak, as if he had discovered something but didn't dare to say: "Mr. Donghai...is there something wrong?"

Takano thought: [Hey, Dazai-kun was transferred from an ordinary school. Even if there is campus bullying in those schools, they are only of ordinary grades. He must be a top student, but he is so cute and has a pleasing personality, it is impossible for him to be rejected by the whole class, so he will never see bullying. ] In his heart, Shuji Tsushima's image has been coated with halos, and Takano's associative ability is too strong, and he has already thought of the subsequent scene of falling in love with his new classmates.

Thinking of this, his expression became more kind: "No, it's just that healthy people will not take the initiative to come into contact with pathogens, and clean people refuse to come into contact with dirt. When getting along with Donghai students, we must follow the above principles."

After he opened his mouth, the students also rushed to add.

"Jun Donghai is a very strange person."

"He was very gloomy and his grades were not good."

"Say weird things."

"The last time someone peeked at his paintings, Donghae exploded and threw his schoolbag out."

"It's just a weirdo. I heard that he still fantasizes about jumping off the top of the tower."

"I can't understand it, I can't understand it at all."

"I stick to Teacher Jingfu every day."

"Teacher Jingfu must have sympathized with him before talking to him."

[Well Fu. ]

Shuji Tsushima paused, he couldn't help thinking of Ibukuro's appearance, and there was an emotion in his heart that could not be described in words. He saw Ibukuro wearing a small suit, listened to him talking about art-related topics, and thought of his spiritual language. Take him as an analogy with the imagination of Osamu Dazai in his heart.

[Really annoying. ]

[It's really annoying. ]

He can't tell what he hates, but many years after Osamu Dazai's death, he will still be attracted by a shadow on the street, a windbreaker in a window shop, a book on a shelf, even if it is a similar voice , will make him unable to bear to listen.

[I am looking for his shadow. ] This is a fact that Shuji Tsushima is unwilling to admit but has to admit.

And he found the shadow of Osamu Dazai in Ibuku.

"I understand." He looked at the people around him, and everyone said "I am well-intentioned". Do you think they are ugly, maybe they are ugly, but when school violence becomes a collective movement against individuals, Everyone genuinely loathes victims and thinks they are normal.

And is the victim really innocent? Not necessarily. He always has traits that make everyone target him. Some of them may be weak, but most of them are considered "weird" by social groups.

"Thank you for your reminder." So Tsushima Shuji also showed the same smile as the others.

……

"What happened next?" Odasaku asked again.

"you guess."

"It should be you who went to contact Donghai." Oda said, "Tsushima, you have a bad side in your character, you like challenges, and you like to open people's wounds. I think you must go to Donghai." He said And sharply said, "Is there something wrong with him?"

"It's not sure yet." Tsushima Shuji replied happily.

"However, he really likes Ifuku-sensei."

Coincidentally, Tsushima Shuji's class had Mr. Ibushi's class that day, and the time was scheduled for the last session in the afternoon. This was garbage time. After a busy day, the students' learning motivation had dropped to the minimum.

"Only the first and second grades of senior high school have painting classes. The first and second grades have one session a week, and the second grade has one session every two weeks. During the exam period, it will be changed into a practice class." Shuji Tsushima sat next to a figure. The tall girl, named Gaoyuan Puli, can be called a rare good person through brief contact, at least she didn't speak when everyone in the class mocked Donghai in the morning.

"He occasionally brings the violin," Gao Yuan said, "We all like him."

Shuji Tsushima has always kept his eyes on Donghai, no matter when he nods his head to talk to the people around him, or when he is listening to a class or completing his homework, he will look at him from the corner of his eye, including when talking to Takahara Puri.

So he knew that Dong Hai was really not a likable guy. His posture was very bad, his back was bent, his hair was too long, and his bangs blocked his forehead. When looking at people, he had to look through strands of hair. He is always a gloomy guy. The teacher asked him to answer questions in class, but he always couldn't answer, and he looked like he was wandering away.

The situation changed at a certain moment, that is, at the end of the penultimate class, Dong Hai, who was curled up, suddenly changed. It didn't mean that his appearance became handsome, but that he was trying his best to stretch his back, like The worker straightened the bent steel bars bit by bit. I don't know how effective it is, but you can see that he worked hard.

As for the expression, it is no exaggeration to say that it is like a dull puppet being injected into the human soul, his gray eyes become bright, and there are dancing flames burning in the pupils, which are emotions and beliefs.

"Ah, Teacher Ifuku is here."

The class is alive, and with hypocritical smiles, the society-like men and women have returned to their proper age. A man in a white vest walks in. He is wearing a dark shirt with a light vest and the same light suit pants. His shirt is exposed. There is no wrinkle on the outer part. He wears leather shoes, and the heels of his heels step on the tile floor unruly, making a pleasant crisp sound.

"Good afternoon, students." No one thinks he is a teacher. Ifuku has a strange appeal. He can pull you into his own "atmosphere". Shuji Tsushima squinted his eyes and looked at him. student, so he can analyze the characteristics of men with an almost calm attitude.

[I know why there is a shadow of Osamu Dazai in him. He has an inhuman charm of an artist. It is hard to say what it is, sensitive and fragile, nagging, extraordinary empathy, and overflowing compassion?Anyway, these are some qualities that ordinary people don’t have. The sunlight outside the window seems to favor him more. The summer evening comes very late, and the light at four or five o’clock is still very bright. They are projected on the marble floor, and this man walked into the sunlight inside. ]

Shuji Tsushima thought maliciously: [He must have done it on purpose. A person like him is either chaste and can’t distinguish his own charm, or he is deliberately trying to create his own uniqueness. In short, his appearance of crossing the sun has Some kind of religiousness, disgustingly, his religiousness reminds me of Russians who should be buried in fish belly. ]

The appearance of Jing lying in the sun is as pure as a holy son.

[This is different from Dazai, Dazai’s inhuman nature is definitely not like him, Dazai, he is more complicated... He longs to be a member of human beings, now that I think about it, I can always see a different kind of melancholy from his face, he Melancholy is human. ]

[Well, I don't understand. ]

"I heard that there is a freshman in the class." Ifuku blinked mischievously, "Welcome to this lovely big family."

Shuji Tsushima responded with a smile on his face, he thought: [You call Chongming cute? ]

"Okay, we don't have much time, let's take a look at today's class assignments." Jing Fu said, "One class must be endless, and you all know that I will never embarrass everyone in terms of grades. Do you want to do it after class?" Continue to draw, leave it to me if you need it, you can do whatever you want, I don’t care much about that, even if some students don’t like this painting, they don’t have to draw, in the end I just share my hobbies with you, let everyone Let's appreciate it together."

He unfolded a huge sheet of paper and pinned it to the blackboard.

"Anyone recognize this painting?"

The girl in a long skirt lay quietly in the lake, with some aquatic plants and flowers planted on her sides.

"Student Banzhai." Seeing a girl raise her hand, Jing Fu asked her to answer.

Itazhai Xin is one of the best students this year. She is a cadre of the student union and the president of the art club. As a non-professional, she's amazing.

"It's "Ophelia" by John Avarret Millais." After answering, she sat down with a demure posture, like a famous lady.

"That's right." Ibuku said, "I don't need to tell the story of Ophelia, the sister of Laertes, the lover of Hamlet, the daughter of the minister Polonius, she is the embodiment of purity, kindness and beauty. A victim of the powerful society, she fell into madness in the incomprehension and spurning of the important men in her life, and flew into the river and drowned." Jing Fu spoke as if singing, and he touched the painting emotionally, "She is one of the women I love. One, beautiful and fragile, can you imagine her emotions before death? Helplessness, anger, madness, and the nobility and tranquility of death. I guess she may long for death, and only death can give her some happiness and comfort. "He talked about lyricism at length. The following students may not be able to understand the artist's emotions, but they are willing to listen to Jing Fu's words. His voice is so pleasant, and his expression is very charming.

"Mirez's Ophelia is my favorite. His Ophelia is as natural as if blown by the wind and fell into the water, even the expression is serene."

Dong Hai couldn't hold back anymore, there was too much movement there, Shuji Tsushima didn't pay attention to him, this man was panting like a bull.

[...]

Ifu smiled and said, "How beautiful, Ophelia, who is between life and death."