Young year

I have a friend named Hu Jiaming, who always calls himself my brother because he is a few months older than me.I don't admit it, but everyone calls it that. "Xiao Nian, your brother is here to pick you up to school!" Alas, when did he say that my brother is all him!

I didn't like him when I was in elementary school, really, he didn't write his homework, and he talked very loudly in class.In the fourth grade, Teacher Zhang approached me and asked me if I would like to be his deskmate and take him to study hard.I am the child who listens to the teacher's words the most. I nodded with the desire to win and I was determined to transform Hu Jiaming into a good student who studies hard.

I didn't intend to be friends with him at the beginning, and I only dated him because it was a task given to me by the teacher.But later I found out that Hu Jiaming is very interesting and he is very good at telling stories.At that time, my mother was very strict and could only watch TV for half an hour a day, so he would tell me about TV series every day.

He can't see his nose and eyes clearly after wearing white shoes for half a day, wears a red scarf to tie a knot, goes upstairs and jumps up and down four steps, and even copies my homework...but he lends me his compasses when I forget them Go out and stand for punishment, fight for me when someone is in trouble, ride my bicycle to pick me up and go to school (but fell me several times).

"Bai Xiaonian, I don't think the flowers in the second class are as beautiful as you." Hu Jiaming always likes to touch me, he is like a piece of brown sugar, if it sticks, you can't get rid of it.

So I couldn't leave him behind. Hu Jiaming really studied hard. He who hates mathematics is willing to do two more sets of papers because he wants to go to junior high school with me.

That was also the first time I went against my mother's wishes and chose No. [-] Middle School.Hu Jiaming is to blame for all this, he led me badly, and made me rebel again and again, saying "no" to my mother.

Hu Jiaming, he is so bad, he is so bad that I want to lock him up so as not to cause trouble to others.He is so kind that I couldn't help but cry after losing him, thinking of where to find such a good him, willing to run back and forth in winter to buy sugar-fried chestnuts for me, to sit in KFC all morning with me in cram school, Warm my cold hands and feet in bed...

I have to admit that I am a narrow-minded person, I can't understand him having a girlfriend, I just want the back seat of the bicycle to sit only for me.

It's okay for him to kiss me and play tricks on me, because he is Hu Jiaming, mine.I don't allow him to do this to others, if Bai Xiaonian wants to be the most special one.

At that time, I was so innocent, leaning in his arms, I felt that I could spend my whole life with him.That's what Hu Jiaming promised, he said: "Bai Xiaonian, marry me in the future, and I'll cook delicious food for you every day." I got angry and beat him, but I was very happy in my heart.

Mom said to study hard, and when you graduate from the third year of junior high school, you can meet Jiaming and have fun.So I studied hard. I am not a genius. When I write questions, I think I am really tired. When I am tired, I think of Hu Jiaming, so I let myself write for a while, thinking that the more questions I do, the closer I will be to him. closer.

But my mother lied to me. After the third year of junior high school, there will be senior one, after the first year of high school, there will be senior three, after the third year of high school, there will be university... I can’t wait for Hu Jiaming to pick me up on a bicycle.

And, Hu Jiaming didn't want me anymore, he replied to my messages more and more slowly, and passed me several times, but he avoided me.

I have posted countless Moments, each of which can only be seen by him, but he has never commented or liked it.I am like a crow throwing stones, waiting for the stones to fill up the glass bottle to drink water, but this bottle is like a bottomless pit, I fly all over the mountains and valleys looking for stones...

Can't fill it up, can't fill it up at all... I'm tired from flying.

I went to his school, waited until after school, and met him from afar.He looks good, I hope he is good, but when he is really good, I hope he is not so good.Hu Jiaming didn't know that Bai Xiaonian was a despicable person, and wished that he had trouble sleeping and eating, and became thinner day by day, so that he could believe that he thought about him.

I went to our junior high school again, and I wanted to eat a pack of sugar-fried chestnuts, but the "Huairou Chestnut" at the school gate had turned into "Zhengxin Chicken Chop" at some point.The boss asked me why I was crying, and I ran away.

Could it be that in Hu Jiaming's heart, Bai Xiaonian has been replaced by someone else?Are we never going back?

Hu Jiaming was a heavy snow that lasted for six years and fell on my roof. I thought that thick layer of snow would stay on the roof forever, but one day the snow stopped.When the sun came out, the layer of snow that had been with me for a long time melted quickly.

By the sophomore year, the number of years we had been apart was almost equal to the time we spent together.So I added the time before the fourth grade, and after another four years, I forgot about him.

The snow in the shadow of the eaves has not melted for a long time, I hide them in the refrigerator, how can I be willing to melt the snow... How can I be willing to forget him?

My mother loves me very much, and she is afraid that I will suffer hardships if I become a homosexual, but she doesn't know that without Hu Jiaming, I will suffer more than this, and my heart will be torn apart.

"Brother, who do you think I met when I went shopping with Mom?" Jiayuan casually mentioned this matter at the dinner table, "I met Hu Jiaming, is he your junior high school classmate? We seem to have had dinner... God, his child They are one year old!"

When I heard this, the bowl in my hand dropped, and the tiles were broken all over the floor, so I bent down to pick it up.

"Why are you so careless! I'm going to get the broom..." Jiayuan saw that my voice was quiet again, she was worried and puzzled, "...Brother, why are you crying?"

Almost on purpose, I pressed my hand on the broken porcelain, drawing a bloodstain.There were scarlet spots on the ground, mixed with some of my tears, and a few big drops fainted.

My mother came over to hold my hand, her eyes were full of tears, she asked me: "Xiao Nian, does it hurt?"

I said it hurts, it hurts too much.

It's all over, Hu Jiaming and I stopped at junior high school classmates.What I hate the most is that I learned all this from someone else. Why, didn't he say he wanted to marry me?Why didn't you tell me about your marriage, and who replaced me as the treasure in your heart?

"Mom, are you satisfied? I broke up with him..." I frightened my sister and my father like crazy, but I couldn't hold back my tears. I could only cry, and I couldn't even let him see , "It's a clean break, Hu Jiaming doesn't like me anymore! He doesn't want me anymore!"

I love my mother and I can't hate her.Watching her hair gradually graying, her stature shrinking even shorter, the hands that touched our heads were already full of wrinkles, her eyes were full of tears, she choked up and pretended to be calm: "Don't cry, baby... "

Who should I hate?I have no one to hate.

Now I feel that everything I just did was unreasonable. I put the broken bowl into the trash can and stood up regretfully: "I'm sorry, I'm too tired..."

I went back to the room and took my mobile phone and clicked on his dialog box. The chat records only contained mutual birthday congratulations.No need, I don't know what to say to him.

Late at night, my mother knocked on my door again.

"Baby, my mother asked you, I remember that female classmate... Fake, he is not married, he has always been single." She showed me her mobile phone and looked at me cautiously, she also just cried But, "you go to him, mom won't stop you."

I hugged her tightly, and neither mother nor son spoke again.

……

I decided to go to him once. If he still loves me, he will treat me as a baby. If he doesn't love me, I will be nothing. But even if I put all my eggs in one basket, I still want to see him.

I want to tell him, Hu Jiaming, I have been waiting for you for many years, if you don't come to love me, I will die.