Brother thank you

【13】

Li Shengxu's character is very boring, he only took the initiative once in his life, that is when he was a young boy, he hugged Xia Yan tightly from behind, and asked him in a low, hoarse but alluring voice: "Can I like you?"

Xia Yan still remembers the feeling of the crisp electric current flowing from the ears to the soles of the feet. It was also that time after Li Shengxu told him that he liked it, they seemed to never express this word again.

At the age of seventeen or eighteen, he can take any jokes at ordinary times, but he will be shy when he is serious.

But this time, let him tell Li Shengxu.

"I like you, since I was 28 years old." Xia Yan's brain started to feel dizzy again, and even his eyelids felt like they were burning.

He propped his hands on both sides of his body to forcefully stabilize the body that seemed to be shaking, but he still slowly stretched out a hand towards Li Shengxu.

When I dreamed back at midnight, the feeling of not being able to get what I wanted, and losing love was so painful that it was hard to breathe.But now that the person he misses is right in front of him, how can he resist fighting for it again?Xia Yan knew that if he left this door like this today, he and Li Shengxu would no longer be from the same world.

How long has he been waiting for him?Eight or nine years?But after such a long time, he still remembered.It is said that time can wash away everything, so when will he forget Li Shengxu?Another eight years?nine years?Or forever?

But now Li Shengxu just stood there dumbfounded, ignoring his outstretched hand, and didn't respond at all.I have to say that Xia Yan, who hadn't cared about any problems for a long time, really panicked this time.

Facing the other party's eyes that wished to tear him apart, Xia Yan felt that he was probably wrong about what happened last night.But he still struggled and said: "Hey, don't talk, can you forgive me? Otherwise, you will beat me up and vent your anger."

Li Shengxu remained indifferent.Xia Yan was at a loss for words, it seemed that he was being sentimental and thinking too much.

Xia Yan's originally high head seemed to lose strength, and then gradually lowered.

He really has no strength, just like the last time he was seriously ill, the world collapsed again, and his whole body became torn apart.

At this moment, Li Shengxu finally spoke out.He opened his reddened eyes and asked in a hateful voice: "Are you able to use liking for anyone, and give it up easily?"

"I didn't..." Xia Yan suddenly raised his head.

"Then who was that person in the hospital yesterday, who helped you with business? What do you call him? Senior brother? He's very kind, then you and him..." Li Shengxu couldn't continue.

"..." Xia Yan was completely speechless.

"Actually, you didn't do anything wrong, you just don't love me, so you don't need to apologize." Li Shengxu said with a sigh.

"I'm not……"

"Let's go." After Li Shengxu finished speaking, he turned around and walked towards the stairs.

"I love you! Who says I don't love you anymore, but back then my mother..." Because of the cold, Xia Yan's nasal voice became very heavy, and it sounded a bit like crying, completely gone from the usual unscrupulous giggles. tone.

Li Shengxu stopped walking away.Although his back was still facing him and he didn't turn around, Xia Yan couldn't take care of that much anymore, and poured out all the things of these years like pouring beans.

"So I was wrong. I knew that the two of us could not have a future, but I still provoked you, and finally rejected you like that."

"I love you, just like my own life, but for my mother, I don't want anything!"

"After all, I was actually cowardly, because I felt too tired, so I didn't fight hard..."

Xia Yan was talking all at once, he didn't even know what he said, he only knew that if he didn't say it now, he might never have another chance.

"Then what's the point of you telling me these things now?" Li Shengxu finally interrupted him, striding forward to him again, holding Xia Yan's shoulder and shaking desperately: "Then what are you telling me now? What's the meaning?!"

In the next second, he slammed Xia Yan's head on his shoulder, his tone full of pain: "Your mother... had an accident in the year you finished the college entrance examination? Why didn't you tell me earlier, if you Tell me earlier, I am with you...I am with you..."

If it wasn't for the teardrops hanging on his face that wet Li Shengxu's clothes, Xia Yan wouldn't realize that he was crying.He felt a little bewildered and didn't speak in a daze.

There was never a second when he didn't want to reunite with Li Shengxu, but at that time his mother passed away in an accidental car accident, if he went to find Li Shengxu, he would always have a feeling of "finally when his mother passed away, he could go to Li Shengxu", so Can't think and can't find.

But at that time, suddenly losing the only relative in the world, it was as if he had been abandoned by the whole world. It took Xia Yan a long time to stand up again.

Renting the old house under his own name in exchange for tuition fees, Xia Yan went to school to report to school with his own luggage on his back. He was alone and had no home. He lived in a dormitory all year round. His heart felt so empty that it hurt. Fantasizing that Li Shengxu is by his side, studying, living, and sleeping with him has become the only source of support and happiness for him.

A person has been silent for a long time and read a lot of books, which also made him understand that his previous thoughts were biased, homosexuality is not a fault, and the future has become brighter—he believes that there is still hope for him and Li Shengxu of.

Then, by accident, he saw the scene in the rain.

Li Shengxu has a slight obsession with cleanliness, and never walks shoulder to shoulder with anyone, let alone the opposite sex.The only possibility is the relationship between boyfriend and girlfriend, and he doesn't reject that girl.

Because I thought about it day and night, I thought the other party felt the same way... Only then did Xia Yan realize how naive and idealistic he was.

But that's what he was.

Not only did he lose his relatives, but even the fantasy in his head was already with someone else in reality... All his dreams and sustenance were in the torrential rain that night, like water drops falling to the ground, all of them fell apart.

"You...you went to look for me that day? Were you in the rain all night?" Li Shengxu asked with a trembling voice, his beautiful eyes widened.

Xia Yan spread himself flat on the tatami, and said in a nasal voice: "Uh...not even a night, well, I suspect that I may be mentally retarded..."

"She's not my girlfriend." Looking at the person lying there in a big character shape, Li Shengxu really wanted to crush him in his arms.He said: "She likes me, but there is nothing between me and her. I was sick that day, very sick. The store manager knew her and knew that we were schoolmates, so he called her. I Also sick and confused, but I can assure you we have nothing."

"Huh?" Xia Yan, who felt seriously top-heavy, still forced himself to raise his head, and said in shock, "Then you... you you you..."

"I'm waiting for you." Li Shengxu sighed, bent his knees and sat down beside Xia Yan's lap, "Don't you understand, Xia Yan? I'm waiting for you."

"Hey?!" Xia Yan almost jumped up, staring his eyes that were wet from fever, "Say it again?!"

Li Shengxu pressed Xia Yan back to lie down, but directly pressed Xia Yan on his lap.He said rather weakly: "I'm not waiting for you... Well, I tried to like others in the past, but I didn't feel it... I haven't had it all the time, and then so many years have passed."

Xia Yan grabbed Li Shengxu's hand that was pressing on his face, the coolness of the other's palm made him feel very comfortable, he blinked his bright eyes and said: "Then I am not, I just like you, I never thought of going Like others."

From the time when Li Shengxu hugged him on his lap and learned that the other party still likes him, even if Xia Yan's previous skill of spreading lotus flowers with his tongue has returned, the stupidity and clumsiness that only appeared in front of Li Shengxu before are all gone. disappeared.

Xia Yan said: "Before I thought there was no possibility for us, so I thought about it long ago. It doesn't matter how well you live in this life. If you are poor, I want to be poor with you. If you are single, I will accompany you to be single. You are married... I just hid and watched secretly, watching you have children..."

"Xia Yan!" Li Shengxu interrupted him, angrily said: "You don't even try to fight for it, you just think about the rest of your life?! You fucking... let me tell you what to say about you?!"

It was rare for Li Shengxu to swear, and Xia Yan smiled nonchalantly after hearing this: "I went to fight for it... At that time, I heard that your family was in decline, so I went. It was you and that woman..."

The more Xia Yan talked, the more angry he became. If Li Shengxu hadn't been sick at that time, and if he hadn't been so glass-hearted and didn't dare to appear in front of him, maybe they would not be what they are today.

So can you not be angry?After so many years of abruptly missing it, Xia Yan's intestines are about to die.

"Okay, don't be angry, it's my fault." This time he completely hugged Xia Yan into his arms, Li Shengxu was no longer cold, and said in a warm voice, "It doesn't matter whether life is good or bad... Do you think I Don't you think so, do you think I'm really in the bottom of my family?"

"Huh? What do you mean?" After many years, Xia Yan put his arms around Li Shengxu's waist again, clasping hot fingers on his back slowly but firmly, listening carefully to every word he said.

Lee Sung Wook said: "You said that homosexuality has no future... After you don't want me, I will come out with my family."

"I was also stupid at the time. I just wanted my family to accept that I was gay, and then told you that homosexuality has a future. That was the only way I could think of, but the result was very unsatisfactory."

Xia Yan's fingers tightened suddenly, and he said with a distressed expression: "Then you go to Erben and work part-time...you and your family..."

"Well, I had a falling out at that time, and I didn't have the heart to study. I failed the college entrance examination and went to study in a foreign university, and then I was expelled from the house as a matter of course." Li Shengxu patted Xia Yan lightly, comforting him, and his voice was more gentle. Said: "But I don't feel anything, my emotions have always been in a very numb state, and after so many years, my family has lost their temper. I just wonder why I haven't brought a boyfriend home yet."

Xia Yan was lying in Li Shengxu's arms, listening to the heartbeat of the long absence, and secretly wiped the corners of his slightly moist eyes with the other's clothes.

"Li Shengxu." The rain-washed sky was clear and blue, and in the bright sunshine, Xia Yan softly called out this unforgettable name that has been lingering in his mind all the time for so many years.

"Huh?" Li Shengxu held Xia Yan tightly in his arms.

"I've been waiting for you at the same place." Xia Yan said.

Time is rushing forward like a crazily tide. With the development of science and technology and the rapid changes of the times, friends and classmates are getting married one by one, and all the people and things are flying past him. Only Xia Yan is still standing there, motionless. Standing there, unable to keep up with a little change.

Without Li Shengxu by his side, he didn't want to move at all.He was also afraid that if he moved, Li Shengxu would not be able to find him.

"Come home with me, Xia Yan." His chest trembled, and the other party's voice rumbling into his ears, Xia Yan heard Li Shengxu say this.

"Tsk, of course I have to return." Happiness came too suddenly, Xia Yan didn't miss the opportunity, and simply hung himself on Li Shengxu like an octopus, "Wherever you go from now on, I will follow you." where to."

The author has something to say: I originally wrote it casually by practicing my pen, but then I couldn't help but finish it.

This article is like a kind of redemption to me, about the regrets of the past, about the future.

Whose youth is not confused? 23333, but I hope that at least there are lovers in the world who can get married in the end, and no one should be infatuated.

After the story is explained, there will be a special episode later, who will be responsible for distributing candy.

If any friends happen to pass by, please help to bookmark the author's column~

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Life is still beautiful.At least he is wonderful enough, grateful, and caring.