Feather to Luoshui, the wind does not blow

My name is Ye Ziluo, and Ye is the surname of the country. I am the only heir and only princess of Yegan Kingdom.

What a noble status this is, how many people are envious of me?A life of rich clothes and good food, and a status above tens of millions, this is the happiness that many people desire.But is this considered happiness?

Besides being the queen of Yegan, my queen mother also has another identity, that is, a highly respected monk.But I don't know much about her and the past between her and her father, because I have never seen her.

She was pregnant, but she was revenged by the evil spirits who had grudges in the past, and the immortal medicine could not save her.In addition to facing the only love of his life, the only love of his life will fall in front of him, and die, he also has to put away that powerlessness and sadness, issue an imperial decree, pay heavily to medical technicians, and search for elixir across the country. Then ask the best doctor to give me a safe birth with the most precious elixir.

The queen mother tried her best to protect me, but in the end she could only give me life, but she couldn't leave me a healthy body anymore.Illness has been with me for as long as I can remember, or perhaps earlier.Because if I wasn't the princess of Yegan Kingdom, I might not even have the chance to come to this world to have a look.

Although my father never said how many hardships and setbacks he has encountered in order to keep me alive, I know my body well.Thinking that I am alive, the painstaking efforts that must be expended in it must be unimaginably huge.

My father once said that when I was young, I had only two situations, non-stop crying when I was awake and intermittent light sleep after crying tired.It was said to be crying, but in fact it was just some thin groaning sounds, with a restless crying tone.Sleeping is also restless, and I often sleep for a while when I am tired from crying, and it is more appropriate to say that it is sleep rather than lethargy.Thin and thin like a small paper man, fragile and fragile, as if he was about to fly away with the wind if he didn't pay attention, and after abandoning this mortal body, he became an elf in this world.

When my father said these things, he always liked to caress the top of my head with his wide and warm palms, and with a happy and gratifying smile, he looked at me lovingly, and behind me, he turned into another kind of more A deep and wordless love, with crazy and depressing longing like a tide.

In my heart, the father is the one who suffers the most.He is a king, without concubines and concubines, but he is trapped in the imperial city full of memories, guarding the right to look down on the world, and he doesn't even have anyone to share this right, or even to tell his joy, anger, sorrow and joy.The former lover has passed away, leaving him only a daughter who may leave him at any time.

In fact, loss and death are not terrible, what is terrible is the unknown and emptiness.The lover returns to dust in front of him, and all he can do is wait and face it helplessly. Even if he is the king that everyone should submit to, he can't change this result.This kind of despair and exhaustion is going to happen again now, and we must always prepare for the bubbles of hope to disintegrate into fragments in the sun and disappear into nothingness little by little.This kind of torture is cruel and hopeless, but the emperor is still content with it, prolonging this anxiety and despair with all his strength.

He cherishes me to the extreme.Apart from official business, Father spends the rest of his time on me.Find ways for me to continue my life or simply accompany me by my side.

Growing up in a pot of medicine, the effect on my body was minimal, but it was added to my brain, which made me mentally mature early.I have been very aware of my physical condition since I was a child, and I also understand that my father's persistence is futile.But I always endured the torment that life would be worse than death, and I didn't say the sentence of giving up.How cruel is it if the meaning of life, the purpose of living and hope are shattered when you insist on it?That lofty king is my most gentle and kind father.He said that I was the last meaning of his life, he didn't want to be imprisoned alone in this empty and deserted palace, he didn't want the imperial city to be just a symbol of power, he wanted it to look like a home, he only had me.So I think, no matter what the result is, as long as I work hard to live a little longer, there will be a little more warmth here, and he will be a little happier.To make him happy for a moment is the only belief I persisted in that cold palace under the torture of illness.

I always have a smile on my face, not because I am happy, but because he needs my happiness, and only with my happiness can he be relieved and happy.I can see my father's worries and sorrows, even though he is always so confident and reassuring in front of me.I am not the only one who knows about my body, but my father never mentioned it.Xi’er, she’s recovered very well recently. This medicine works, so don’t worry about it. If you feel uncomfortable, tell them immediately. If I’m not here, tell the doctors. Don’t be careless, you know—this is what he often says What I said, I often go along with him, the medicine is not so bitter after drinking, and my body has really improved recently, the medicine is very effective, and the pain is not so bad.Talking a lot, it seems that I can really convince myself that the situation will really get better.Facts have become tacit secrets.

So, should I be happy?In fact, in the first five years of my life, I never explored the meaning of this word.Because for a person who will die at any time, living is already the whole life.Such a life cannot imagine and describe the future.Then, there is no value in thinking.It's like picking up a pen, emptying your mind, and drawing a straight line on the rice paper. At some point, the ink will run out and the line will be broken.No accidents, no ups and downs, quietly waiting for the moment when the ink is exhausted.So for the first five years of my life, I was waiting, waiting to die.

Later I realized that my idea was completely wrong.My waiting is not to leave, but to let me understand what happiness is.Not because I am a princess, not because I can grow up safely, but because I met the right person, this is happiness.

I was in the imperial garden, it was still the same afternoon, the same sunshine.The place is warm and the flowers are bright, making people lazy and relaxing.I squinted my eyes slightly, feeling the anger in the garden, thinking that I changed the prescription again today, wondering how the new medicinal soup would taste?Then I laughed at myself, no matter what the prescription is, the medicine will be bitter.Just as I was in a daze, I saw Huashen and the two of them were the maids by my father's side, and the one in the back was something I had never seen before, a child about my age.

Her name is Feng Xunyu, and her father asked her to be my playmate temporarily.It was the first time I saw someone so young.Father has no concubines, and has no heirs other than me. In my case, even recruiting ministers and heirs into the palace would be superfluous.When I saw her for the first time, my heart was full of joy and anticipation.She wore her hair in a small bun, showing no signs of anger or emotion. She was wearing a long dress with tight sleeves and leggings, showing her ability and agility.She didn't show a complimenting expression because of my status, she stood upright in front of me, but stared at me unabashedly.Seeing her in a daze, I only found it interesting in my heart, thinking to myself, what kind of person should this be?Although that delicate and handsome face was faintly alienated, but there was a bit of stupidity in the eyes that looked at me, he must be an interesting and awkward person!I thought about it, and felt that she was really cute, so I laughed out loud.

Jin Yu who was behind her didn't understand etiquette, she wasn't flustered when she saw her, but her expression became more serious. She looked away from me and straightened her expression again. I could see that she was upset.I stopped Jinyu, but I wanted to know her more and more.Jinyu was about to say something, but I coughed uncontrollably.She must think I'm useless... Thinking of this in my heart, I coughed even more.The doctors guarding me surrounded me one after another, and I was used to it.However, I saw her change of expression, huh?Frowning?Or do you think I'm making too much of a fuss?A little uncomfortable, a large group of people came up to serve.I was still thinking wildly, but I saw her stepping in front of me, unable to see what she was doing, and let those around me disperse.She gave me a pill and put her palm on my shoulder, I just felt a warm current rushing through my body, the pill melted in my mouth, and my body became much lighter.She is sending me spiritual energy?She didn't hate me.Before I could be overjoyed, those attendants were terrified. Jinyu wanted the guards to take her down. I wanted to stop her, but the breath I had finally calmed down was aroused again, and I coughed.She did the same to disperse the guards, and then another stream of heat entered her body, soothing the discomfort in her chest.She said, let them all retreat, the crowd is too boring.I was finally able to speak, and for the first time realized the existence of those attendants, and felt that it was noisy.

Since that day, she has always been by my side.I guessed right, she really is an interesting and awkward person.She can tell many interesting stories, show me martial arts exercises, or amusing little Taoism.She loves to hold me in her arms and walk around the palace.Because of her, I began to understand what it means to not want this place to be just an imperial city, but to make this place a home.

I no longer have to live a life day after day like a straight line without ups and downs. I will start to be happy or sad, thinking, sharing, and pouring out my heart.

I want to tell her a lot of things, I want to tell her that in fact, my body has never improved, and I will be in pain at any time. No matter how long I drink those medicinal soups, and I change the formula several times, they are all too bitter. pharynx.I am very afraid, very afraid of the unknown, I am afraid that I will die suddenly, and my father sits on the throne alone, and there is no one who can speak his mind.I am very unwilling to die like this, what kind of world is it outside the imperial city?I am very envious, I have a pair of legs, but I can't run, even standing up is a luxury.Actually, I just want to have someone who can talk to me, and it will be much better if I say it, even if I die, I will have no regrets, because at least, there are people in this world who know what the real me is like, and I can be counted, the real one. came to this world.

She is a very gentle person.She always yells at me and talks nonsense, saying that her master will definitely have a way to cure me.With that confident and unquestionable appearance, I don't think anyone would reject such a sunny person.

My royal father allowed her to mess around, and repeatedly assured that she seemed bold, but she was actually a meticulous person. Although she was dismissed as a servant, with her around, there would never be any problems.I think it's because of Daoist Feng, and seeing her medical skills when we first met, that my father acquiesced.

I don't know why my father invited Daoist Feng to the imperial city, but I know that he has to be busy because of this.He would even leave the imperial city and not see him for more than a month. Even in the imperial city, he would only occasionally visit me, sit for a while and then leave in a hurry.This unprecedented situation made me feel anxious.Ayu didn't know anything about this matter, but I began to worry about gains and losses.With Ah Yu, the days passed too quickly.I don't know why she came to the imperial city, but I know that she doesn't belong here.

I cherish the days with her, if I am going to die in the next moment, then it is good to see her in the first second of my life.The first sigh, why time flies so fast?

Finally, when the father and Daoist Feng returned again, everything changed.Later I heard that Feng Dao Changxian had gone.Since Daoist Feng came back that night, Ayu has been staying in her bedroom without seeing anyone. When the palace servants reported that she fainted on the bed, the uneasiness I had suppressed for many days finally broke out, and I panicked. Send someone to see her.

Knowing that she fell asleep only because she was exhausted, she let go of her hanging heart a little.Messy hair, frowning brows, and obviously haggard appearance made me feel sorry for him.I dispersed everyone and stood by her bed, not daring to let people retreat too far, but sent all the people in the inner room to the outer room.Just looking at her like this, I wanted to caress her cheek and tell her that I was still there, but I sighed to myself, I don't know how long I can live, how can I let her rely on me.

I just looked at her like this for too long, I just wanted to imprint her appearance in my heart and engrave it in my bones.But the unbelievable body couldn't hold on anymore, so I had to lean on the wheelchair and breathe lightly.

She woke up, I felt it, but didn't get up.She looked at me blankly again, but it was no longer because of me.I opened my eyes, and she seemed to have regained her composure, and she also looked away.I call her, Ayu.Because of this, her eyes returned to me again.But it was only a short and ecstatic stay, and then avoided it again.

She was leaving, I heard her say it herself.She turned her head, not daring to face me, what a fool.I clearly told myself not to cry, but at that moment, the spring water welled up in my eyes and then fell down my cheeks.She must have been afraid of hearing my persuasion, and couldn't bear to leave, that's why she didn't dare to face me, right?I wanted to laugh at her stupidity in my heart, but I was buried deep in a stronger sourness.I tried my best to calm down the choking in my voice. I wanted to save my most beautiful side as the last memorial, but I didn't expect that the tears would not stop no matter what.I can only hang tears all over my face, smile and say yes.

Seeing her surprise, she took out a small compass the size of a palm from her arms and handed it to me.I took the compass and saw the reluctance in her eyes and the look of forcing herself to be cruel, she is really a weird person.She said, this compass can let me find her.Because of this, I looked up at her.to find her?I never thought about it, and I dare not think about it.However, it is also good to have a thought, there is always some hope in life, even for a person like me who may meet death at any time, isn't it?

She looked at me stupidly again, and then tied the jade pendant around her neck around my neck.The jade pendant fell on her chest with her warmth, her expression was very serious, her movements were very gentle, the cold fingers swept across the back of her neck like a feather, and quickly withdrew it.But her eyes dodged and she stopped talking.

When was the last time you sat like this?I can't remember clearly.In my memory, she always has something to say, mixed with book language, with some humor, talking about the sea and mountains, forests and wilderness, experiences and interesting things, when I am with her, I always smile.

A dog barking in the distance stopped my thoughts, it was Wanli coming.It came in wagging its tail and turned around me. After a while, it lowered its tail again and lay down in front of my wheelchair.Wanli is very smart.I thought, even if she had to leave, it would be nice if she could stay a little longer.But she refused me, picked up the coat, and left without looking back.

I just watched her disappear from my sight like a gust of wind, which made me feel like a dream.Wan Li bit my trouser leg and whimpered, as if trying to pull me to get her back.I want to bend down and hold it in my arms, but I can't even touch it.I had to go back into the wheelchair again.I can do nothing without her, without those attendants.

I am a useless person who will die at any time, and I can't even pick up a puppy.What qualifications do I have for you to stay?You are the Feng family, the Feng family who guard the world.The responsibility you bear is something I cannot share. Letting you go from here and from me is the only thing I can do.It's just a pity that there are more unsatisfactory tears and no pure smile left for you, which makes you embarrassed again.You are everywhere, the wind that everyone is chasing, you will not and cannot stay in this square inch.And I'm just a pool of stagnant water, quietly waiting for the day when it dries up.I can't keep it, I can't tell her, I will always wait for you here, if I come back when I have time, I will take a look.I can't give any guarantees, I can only watch her go, walking away with nothing.Except father, the only person I care about. When she needs warmth and support the most, I can't give her anything. The only thing I can do is to let her leave me.Such irony, what kind of princess is this?I finally felt the feelings of my father, and there was nothing I could do.What is the difficulty of life and death?Most afraid of powerlessness.

Wan Li seemed to understand what I meant, and understood that she would not come back again.Reluctantly, he lay at my feet again, looking in the same direction as me.Being with her for one year and 110 seven days allowed me to find the answer to happiness.What is happiness?Happiness is being with her.Now, it's okay to die, right?Although compared to before, I have a little more reluctance and nostalgia for this world.

I went back to my day-to-day life, only in a different mood.In the imperial city, there are figures from memory everywhere as far as the eye can see.I no longer just sit quietly in a wheelchair, dozing off in the corner of the imperial garden.I began to like every brick and tile, every plant and tree around here.I often order people to push wheelchairs and slowly walk through every inch of land in the imperial city.It was here that she hugged me for the first time and jumped to the top of the tree, here she plucked all the bouquets just to make a flower crown, and here she caressed my face and praised me seriously so beautiful.The jade pendant with her body temperature has been buried in her chest to warm her heart, just like the temperature in her palm.That small compass also made a home in my hands, always giving me the illusion that I could see her again.

Father finally told me what happened.A year ago, Daoist Feng came to the capital and told his father that there was a big monster that even he was not sure to defeat.Afterwards, rumors of rampant evil spirits continued to be heard from outside the palace, and the people were panicked, and the people were in dire straits.The head of the wind channel calculated the best time to eliminate it, and then made preparations during this year.Feng Daochang bluntly said that he needed the help of his father, and went out to investigate Fengshui in person to collect news about the big monster.Daoist Feng had no choice but to keep her in the imperial city, so I was able to meet her.

Thinking of how proud she was when she talked about her master, she probably didn't know that my prescriptions and elixir were always given by Daoist Feng, right?But such an omnipotent Daoist Feng, her most respected and beloved master, still failed to survive the battle with that evildoer in the end.She must have a lot to say to me, right?Do you want to express your feelings or do you want to lie down there and cry?She must be lonely and scared, right?A person wanders in this world.

I don't know why, but after this matter ended, the father became busier than before.I spend all my time paying attention to the news outside the palace.She is a powerful wind that sweeps away evil spirits and the hope of the people.The after-dinner talk in the market was all about her.She went to Qingli today to kill the evil spirits, yesterday went to Genshan to kill the tiger demon and so on.News of this came every day, and she became famous in Yegan country.It is said that she is very Taoist at a young age, that she is upright and selfless, and she is the pride of the Feng family, the gospel of the people, and a model of monks.

I am not happy at all.That fool must have a lot on his mind, right?If it goes on like this, even she won't be able to bear it.Will she eat well?No one cares, she must not be able to eat again!Where will she sleep?Will it be cold at night?Yegan is so big, she must travel frequently, Yujian must fly very fast, what should I do if I get cold?Go wherever there are evil spirits in such a reckless manner, what if you encounter some difficult things?No matter how powerful she is, she is still just a child... Will she occasionally think of me in her spare time?

Night work is peaceful, every family does not close their doors at night, and evil spirits do not come out.The person they worshiped was just a seven-year-old girl.I look at the rotating pointer on the compass every day, and she and I are not from the same world after all.

Father knows what I care about, and he always praises her by my side.He doesn't know, what I care about is not how good she is, but whether she is happy.

I like to hold Miles and tell him my worries.My father didn't want me to keep it. It was Ayu who said that it was full of spirituality and could understand human nature, and Taoist Feng also nodded his approval, so my father reluctantly agreed.Ayu took me to sit on the wall of the imperial city, looked into the distance and said that he would take me to travel thousands of miles, see thousands of mountains, and jump across the sea.What she said was so beautiful, I couldn't imagine the beauty.I sketched that picture in my heart, she took me to the sword above the blue sky, the blue waves connected with white clouds, the mountains and rivers reflected the green mountains, I would hug that ball-like puppy, nest in her thin arms, and let the breeze lighten up together Caress, travel across the thousands of miles of Yegan territory.I gave the puppy the hope in my heart and called it Wanli.

I am a cripple who can hardly even stand up. If I die, it can also fulfill my dream for me.

Wan Li is really sensible, he is originally a lively character, but because of me, he is unreasonably quiet.Accompany me to listen to the palace people talking about the outside world, or just lie at my feet silently, with the same tenderness as her.I talked to it, chattering, and it has never been impatient. Occasionally, it would stretch out its warm little tongue and lick my palm, probably to comfort me.

Father is still busy, and the time to see me is getting less and less.But Wan Li grew up day by day. In the blink of an eye, in three years, he stood up as tall as my wheelchair.I can touch it without the help of the palace servants, but I can't hold it anymore.

I want to tell that person that Wan Li has grown so big.It's been three years and I'm still alive, have you forgotten me?

Is it my miss that has reached her heart?Otherwise, how could she have come out of my heart?I have always slept lightly, because my body is tormented at this time.But if it wasn't like this, how would I know that she came back to see me?

She caressed my eyebrows, and rubbed her callused fingers between them, scratching the ripples in my heart.She patted my shoulder and coaxed me gently. I endured my sore nose and longed for the familiar smell on her body.Is this person finally willing to come back and take a look?

She covered my hand, but saw the jade pendant around my neck shining brightly, and then she lay down beside my bed and fell asleep.I opened my eyes, and couldn't believe that the person I was thinking of was so close to me at this moment.She knelt by my bed, held my hand tightly, and fell into a deep sleep.The light of the jade pendant has dimmed. I wanted to look at her carefully, but I fell asleep at some point.I didn't wake up until the temperature in my hands lost.Squinting his eyes slightly, he watched her stand up in a panic, wipe away the tears hanging on her face indiscriminately, and leave in a panic.