lie

I reunited with an old friend a year and a half ago—but actually, I stopped thinking of him as a friend a long time ago.

I unilaterally re-meet him after 17 years of not thinking of him as a friend.

He didn't see me at the time, and was patiently tying the shoelaces of a mentally handicapped child.The child's saliva dripped onto the back of his hand, he smiled nonchalantly, and patted the child on the shoulder after tying his shoelaces to let him continue playing.

In recent years, I have often seen him on TV. Except in film and television dramas, I hardly saw him smile once, but the smile he showed to that child was so warm and natural.That smile is still etched in my mind.

I didn't go up to meet him, on the contrary, I avoided him on purpose.Because of a certain job, he and I would go to the same place every week. While I deliberately avoided him, I observed him secretly.

I blamed him for 17 years, but it only took one year to completely change my inner feelings.

Later, finally, because he appeared early, I couldn't avoid it in time.We were thus truly reunited.

For the fact that I no longer regard him as a friend, he who once deceived me asked me not to forgive easily, so I secretly decided that I would tell a lie and keep him in the dark forever as a way of revenge.

The lie: I'm not hopelessly in love with him.

Beneath this lie, I became friends with him again.

There are so many strange things in this world.For example, I was so resentful, but easily fell in love with him.Another example is that he and I are friends, but everyone thinks we are at odds.

Out of aggrieved, we decided to sell corrupt hype.

In this operation, he once did such a thing: in the crew we were filming together, he invited everyone to a big meal, because he heard that I like siu mai, so he bought siu mai for me alone.

When he asked me to take a photo of the siu mai and put it on the Internet, I thought, how good would it be if the siu mai was really prepared for me?

Yes, that's what I did to myself.I lie and deceive him all the time, and I am always hurt by myself.

again and again.

It was obviously a falsehood created by myself, but because it was not true, I was deeply hurt.

Once, on the plane, he just made a casual joke, and I overreacted because he cared too much.I tried my best to act in front of him and continued to act out my lie, but for the first time, I had the idea of ​​going all out and trying.

True, he's never had girlfriends, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm hopeless.

I really do feel hopeful.Maybe it's all an illusion, but I feel it time and time again.As a pessimist like me who doesn't quite believe that good things will happen to me, it really takes courage to think that maybe he's on the same page as me.

At that time, he was happy because I won the Best Actor Award at the Tokyo Film Festival, and he held my drink for me. I really thought that maybe he also had the same heart with me, so I summoned up the courage to say that I should not get married...

His reaction made it clear to me that he was a straight man, a straight man who never even dreamed that his friends were gay.

So, the lie continued.

I planned it out and was going to cheat him for the rest of my life.

We are also deceiving netizens.Keep making everyone think that our relationship is ambiguous.

— In fact, our relationship is more ambiguous than we would like you to think.

Soon I changed my plans again.

He taught me to face the world with a more optimistic attitude, so I began to believe that good things must happen.

For example, I had the courage to tell him how I felt.

For another example, he smiled and replied that he also thinks the moonlight tonight is so beautiful.

I tried to fight for that good thing to happen to me, but what I didn't expect was that we were punished dramatically for deceiving netizens before it was too late.

This time, we became pawns to deceive netizens.

In fact, there was no hotel opening, but some ambiguous photos were released. In the photos, we just changed the tires, but it didn't look like that at all.

Selling rot and playing ambiguous is different from real coming out. The key point is that at this time, I have the opportunity to take part in Hollywood blockbusters.If the speculation about my relationship with him becomes irreversible, maybe we can still stay in show business, but our development will definitely be limited, and the most certain thing is that I will lose that Hollywood blockbuster.

I once told him that my dream is to become a star and go to Hollywood to make movies.

And he replied to me at the time that he would help me realize my dream together.

He means it.

Many people should know that my acquaintance with him started with a lie. 17 years ago, he cheated on me.He befriended me, but everyone thought it was my delusion.

Seventeen years later, he repeated the lie.Only this time, he became friends with me, but everyone thought it was his delusion.

Then, he announced his retirement from the entertainment industry forever.

Everyone should be familiar with his personality. With his personality, it was revealed that he sold rot for self-hype. As a result, he was slapped in the face by reality on the spot and said that there was no such thing. He would be ashamed and angry to death.

But that's how he chose to quit the entertainment industry forever by using the method of framing himself to sell corruption and hype.Perhaps this is a greater price than his real death, but he chose to pay this way because he hopes that I will have the opportunity to go to Hollywood, and he hopes that I can continue to stay on this stage.

He wants me to be able to achieve my dreams.

I want to be a star, I want to go to Hollywood and make movies.

But in fact, I want to be a person who follows my heart.

I think, today, the reason why things have become so bad is because I didn't follow my heart very well.I didn't tell myself, I didn't tell him, I didn't tell everyone, and that's how it got out of hand.

There is no way for me to make the bad influence that has been caused disappear, and the language of apology is weak.The only thing I can do is stop letting the lies continue.

So, I choose to speak the truth.

Everything.

And the most important sentence -

I love you, Li Muyan.

That's the only reason I'm doing this stream today, please don't send me a sports car or anything.

However, thank you for the twelve yachts sent by the cactus in a row. (Smile)

(End of the article)