unspeakable love

Xu Xiaochuan was thinking about it in a daze. At this time, he thought of Lin Kai's goodness, the man who has been taking care of himself thoughtfully. What is he doing now?If Lin Kai was here, he would definitely not make himself so uncomfortable. He would feed himself medicine and water, and then cook himself a delicious meal. Xu Xiaochuan really hated himself. How come I don't know how to cherish my side?I really want to see Lin Kai again before I die, and say thank you to him.

Eyelids are getting heavier and heavier, Xu Xiaochuan felt that he was going to die soon, it is said that people will have hallucinations before death, and it seems true that they can see the person they want to see, and he opened his eyes and saw Lin Kai He still smiled at himself so softly, and his voice was still so magnetic and so pleasant and gentle.

"Lin Kai!" Xu Xiaochuan struggled to raise his hand to touch that person's face, but he really touched it, so warm and real.

"Xiao Chuan! Xiao Chuan! Be sober! Xiao Chuan..."

Lin Kai's anxious voice rang in Xu Xiaochuan's ears, looking at Xu Xiaochuan who was burning on the bed and his face was flushed, at this moment Lin Kai's heart was in his throat, and his heart ached.

What Xu Xiaochuan saw was not a hallucination, Lin Kai really came to him.After Xu Xiaochuan left, Lin Kai was depressed. He came today to apologize to Xu Xiaochuan and make up, hoping that Xu Xiaochuan could forgive himself, but he never thought that he would be so ill.

Lin Kai hurriedly picked up Xu Xiaochuan, then hurried out of the room, carried him into the car and rushed to the hospital at high speed.

When Xu Xiaochuan opened his eyes again, the first thing he saw was the white ceiling, and then he smelled a smell of disinfectant, and he found himself lying on the hospital bed and receiving an IV drip. The familiar and pleasant voice sounded: "Xiao Chuan, you're awake!"

Lin Kai's voice sounded very happy, and seeing Xu Xiaochuan wake up, a bright smile suddenly appeared on his face.

Xu Xiaochuan turned his head to look at Lin Kai in surprise. Last night he felt that he was hugged by a pair of warm and strong arms. He thought it was his hallucination, but he didn't expect it to be real. Lin Kai really appeared in his Right now, at this moment, Xu Xiaochuan's heart was full of mixed feelings, moved mixed with guilt and bewilderment, he didn't know how he should face Lin Kai, he didn't believe his words and even called him a despicable and shameless villain, but Now this man who was insulted by him stays by his side to take care of him, he always has that gentle smile on his face, he is always so kind to himself, no matter what he did wrong, he can ignore it.

"Xiao Chuan, how do you feel now?"

Lin Kai looked at Xu Xiaochuan with concern and asked, with the usual gentle smile on his face.

"Lin Kai, I'm fine, thank you."

"Xiao Chuan, why don't you know how to take medicine when you have a cold? Do you know that you have pneumonia! Really!"

Lin Kai is now angry and distressed. Xu Xiaochuan didn't take good care of his body, which made Lin Kai feel distressed and uncomfortable. He couldn't see Xu Xiaochuan suffering and wronged the most.

Faced with Lin Kai's concern, Xu Xiaochuan felt even more guilty. He felt sorry for Lin Kai.

"Lin Kai, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have disbelieved you. I shouldn't have called you a despicable person. I'm an idiot. I'm so stupid. He Xiaoying really lied to me. I should have listened to you in the first place. I It’s a fool!” Xu Xiaochuan shed tears unconvincingly while talking, saying that a man’s tears are not easily flicked because he has not yet reached the point of sadness, and now Xu Xiaochuan is full of remorse, he feels that his heart has been hollowed out Lost, lost everything, how do I get back the feelings I gave and the heart I gave?He naively thought that he and He Xiaoying could enter the palace of marriage, have a lovely child, and live a happy life.But all of this will come to naught, and the good wishes will come to nothing after all.

"Xiao Chuan, don't act like this!"

Seeing Xu Xiaochuan like this, Lin Kai's heart was as painful as being cut by a knife. He watched Xu Xiaochuan raised his hand and gently wiped away the tears from his eyes, so tender and affectionate.

Regardless of the strange gazes of other patients in the ward, Xu Xiaochuan cried willfully like a wronged child. The more he wiped the tears, the more tears he wiped, and Lin Kai couldn't finish wiping them.

"Xiaochuan, you still have me! I will never leave you! I will always be by your side." Lin Kai's eyes were so firm, he couldn't live without Xu Xiaochuan, and he couldn't do without this man himself. Happy, alone is also very poor.

Xu Xiaochuan looked at Lin Kai with tears in his eyes. He understood Lin Kai's feelings for him. That day Lin Kai told himself that he had always loved him and had never forgotten him. He knew that Lin Kai couldn't let him go. Treat them as friends, but as objects of love.But how can a man be with a man?Xu Xiaochuan felt that it would be good if he was a woman. He has no reason not to love a man like Lin Kai, but he is indeed a man. How can he repay Lin Kai's deep friendship?I am afraid that he is doomed to fail Lin Kai in this life. When Xu Xiaochuan thinks about this, he feels sorry for Lin Kai. He feels that he is a bastard who never ends to ask Lin Kai but cannot give Lin Kai what he wants.

"Lin Kai, I'm sorry! I owe you too much! Don't be so nice to me anymore! Just let me fend for myself!"

Xu Xiaochuan looked at Lin Kai with despairing eyes, his heart was ashamed now, He Xiaoying gave him a big blow, Xu Xiaochuan really collapsed.

"Xiao Chuan, how can you say such a thing? Is it worth it for a woman who cheated on you? You don't need to think about anything while recuperating now. After you are discharged from the hospital, everything can start from scratch. It's no big deal!"

"Lin Kai, I can't get your money back in a short time, I'm afraid it will take a long time..."

Lin Kai interrupted Xu Xiaochuan impatiently: "Okay! Don't mention the money anymore! You can pay it back if you can, and forget it if you can't! I don't care about the money."

Hearing what Lin Kai said, Xu Xiaochuan felt even more uncomfortable. Lin Kai always tolerated everything about him. No matter what he said or did to hurt him, Lin Kai would just laugh it off. Don't take it to heart.

"Lin Kai, I'm afraid I won't be able to repay what I owe you in this lifetime!" Xu Xiaochuan closed his eyes in despair.

Lin Kai doesn't want anything, money, status and reputation are not important compared to Xu Xiaochuan, he can want nothing, he just wants Xu Xiaochuan alone, even if he has to trade the whole world for it.

During the two days when Xu Xiaochuan was hospitalized, Lin Kai would come to the hospital to take care of him after work, prepared dinner for him and brought it over. Xu Xiaochuan had just recovered from a serious illness and couldn’t eat too greasy food, so Lin Kai made some for him. For porridge and side dishes, he knew that Xu Xiaochuan liked to eat bananas and grapes, so he bought some for him, washed them and put them on the table. After eating, he would eat some fruit to supplement his vitamins.

Under Lin Kai's careful care, Xu Xiaochuan finally recovered and was discharged from the hospital after two days of intravenous drip. After all, young people are in good health, and there is no major problem no matter how hard they are.

Lin Kai took Xu Xiaochuan out of the hospital and sat in Lin Kai's car. Xu Xiaochuan felt a little uncomfortable. He knew that Lin Kai had such feelings for him, so he would feel nervous when he was alone with Lin Kai.

After Lin Kai fastened his seat belt, he started the car, but the direction of the car was not his own residence, but Lin Kai's home, which made Xu Xiaochuan's expression froze.

"Lin Kai, you're going the wrong way. You should turn left to get to Shengli Street." Xu Xiaochuan hurriedly reminded Lin Kai.

At this time, Lin Kai said calmly: "I know, let's not go to Shengli Street, let's go home! I won't let you live in that dark and damp basement anymore. I already moved your luggage last night." Back home."

Xu Xiaochuan was taken aback by Lin Kai's cutting first and then playing. Do you really want to go back with Lin Kai?

"Lin Kai, it's impossible for me to like men!"

Xu Xiaochuan turned his head to look at Lin Kai stubbornly.

It's this sentence again, Lin Kai is used to Xu Xiaochuan saying this, but Lin Kai will not give up.

"Xiao Chuan, how do you know that you won't fall in love with me if you don't try? Maybe you are not as straightforward as you think, maybe you don't even know that you can fall in love with men, don't you still think that you can only fall in love with me? Do women get happiness only when they are together? Have you not been disappointed with women yet?"

Lin Kai didn't know what method he could use to make Xu Xiaochuan completely stop thinking about women.

Xu Xiaochuan was stunned by Lin Kai's words, he turned his head and looked at Lin Kai in disbelief: "What did you say?"

At this time, Lin Kai suddenly stepped on the accelerator, and then parked the car on the side of the road.He turned his head to look at Xu Xiaochuan and said very seriously: "Xiaochuan, don't you have any feelings for me? To be honest, if you were a woman yourself, would you fall in love with me?"

Xu Xiaochuan blurted out almost without thinking: "Of course! But I'm not a woman!"

This is an unchangeable fact. Even if Xu Xiaochuan's brain is burnt out, he still knows that he is a man. Does he want to have a sex reassignment operation by himself?

Hearing Xu Xiaochuan say that Lin Kai already felt very happy.

"Xiao Chuan, if you say that, it shows that you have feelings for me. What you can't cross is the boundary of gender. You care about being a man. If we ignore this, you can love me and we can love each other!"

"Lin Kai, are you confused? How can I ignore the fact that I am a man? I am a man! And you are also a man, how can we love each other? How can there be love between men?"

"Xiao Chuan, why don't we try it! You and I live together for a month. We live like ordinary couples in this month. We eat together, go shopping, watch movies, and go out to play together. Of course, what couples should do We have to do it too, like kissing..."

Lin Kai said tentatively, he carefully looked at Xu Xiaochuan's face, wondering if his words would turn Xu Xiaochuan's face, but Lin Kai still wanted to give it a try, this was his last hope.

"Lin Kai, I..." Xu Xiaochuan looked at Lin Kai in bewilderment.

At this time, there was a bitter smile on Lin Kai's face: "If you can't fall in love with me after a month, then I will give up completely, but if I don't even try, I won't be reconciled. I hope you can promise me that if you really believe that you won't like men, there is nothing to worry about, isn't it?"

Lin Kai has always believed in this point. He felt that it was absolutely impossible for him to fall in love with a man, so he finally agreed to Lin Kai's condition. If this can make Lin Kai completely give up on him, Xu Xiaochuan is willing to give it a try. After all, he does not want to lose Lin Kai is a friend.

Following Lin Kai back home, Xu Xiaochuan returned to the upstairs room, and sure enough, he saw the suitcase in the corner, opened the closet and his clothes were hung in it.

"Xiaochuan, welcome home!" Lin Kai walked over and gave Xu Xiaochuan a warm hug. Xu Xiaochuan instinctively wanted to push Lin Kai away, but Lin Kai hugged him tightly and did not let go. The grip became tighter, as if worried that Xu Xiaochuan would run away suddenly.

"Xiao Chuan, don't forget our promise! You are my lover now! I can hug you! Don't resist!"

Lin Kai's voice was full of bewitching, gentle and ambiguous. Xu Xiaochuan hesitated for a moment and stopped struggling. His face was pressed tightly against Lin Kai's wide and warm chest. Xu Xiaochuan felt very nervous when Lin Kai hugged him so closely. , but without disgust.

Seeing that Xu Xiaochuan didn't resist him, a gentle smile appeared on Lin Kai's face.

Xu Xiaochuan just let Lin Kai hug him for a while, then he was let go.

Lin Kai looked at Xu Xiaochuan with a smile, and he found that Xu Xiaochuan was blushing at this time.

Xu Xiaochuan lowered his head and didn't dare to look at Lin Kai's face, his face was blushing as if he was about to bleed.Looking at Xu Xiaochuan like this, Lin Kai felt that he was even cuter, and couldn't help but lowered his head and planted a kiss on his cheek.

This kiss made Xu Xiaochuan even more at a loss, he turned his head to the side shyly, his face was blushing and his heart was beating, he raised his hand to touch the place Lin Kai kissed and felt it was extremely hot.

"Okay Xiaochuan, you rest for a while, I'll go down to prepare dinner, we'll have dinner later." After speaking, Lin Kai turned around contentedly, walked towards the door and left the room, leaving Xu Xiaochuan alone at a loss .

Sitting on the bed, Xu Xiaochuan was in a daze alone. It felt strange to get along with Lin Kai as a lover now, but Xu Xiaochuan found that he didn't really hate Lin Kai's behavior towards him. In his mind, Lin Kai was not someone he would hate.