can't get what you want

A lot has happened in recent times.

Let me sort it out and tell you about it.

Right from the very beginning, I was imprisoned by an admirer.

I only found out later that the other party was a boy I met by chance. At that time, I was also in a low mood. I was sitting on the edge of the cliff to enjoy the wind. He wanted to jump off the cliff. I stopped him, comforted him, and left.

He thought that I saved him, but he didn't know how depressed I was at the beginning, and even had the same idea of ​​jumping off a cliff as he did, but his appearance made me feel that my life was still meaningful.

According to my current lover, when my mood suddenly improved, there were many private detectives around me who followed me. I don't know if it was sent by him.

But they didn't expect to meet again, but in such a way of hurting each other.

I don't want to think about what happened during the time I was imprisoned. It is probably the dark history of my life.

If you are reading this, don’t learn this kind of behavior. People are born free. If you love someone enough, you should respect the other person’s independent personality instead of treating the other person as your own subordinate.

Fortunately, I escaped in the end, although I still couldn't do without the help of my current lover.

I also met a mysterious woman at that time, I guess my lover made some kind of deal with her, but my lover told me not to worry, it shouldn't matter.

Speaking of which, I have known my lover for so many years, and I have always regarded him as a brother, but I never thought that the other party actually likes me.

In other words, this kind of feeling is deeper than liking, and it can even be called love.

If it wasn't for the doctor he invited for me to have that kind of thought towards me, and I didn't know why at the time, I actually agreed to the other party, but was caught by him who drove back, and confessed out of control, I'm afraid I would never be able to None will know.

After all, he has always been too concerned about my emotions, and because of the kidnapping incident, I have a psychological shadow on homosexuality, and he will not tell me everything.

My lover knew very well at that time that once his love was spoken, it would add another layer of burden to me who was already emotionally unstable.

But maybe the doctor's hypnosis succeeded—that's how the doctor described what he did to me later, although he expressed his regret that the last fruit was snatched away, and I thanked him indifferently.I didn't feel sick at the time, but the sudden identity change from brother to crush made it difficult for me to face it for a while.

I did something that is still ashamed to think about, I ran away.

But the apartment I was renting had already been checked out, and I didn’t know where to live. I just received an inquiry from the previous tour group on my mobile phone. Because I couldn’t get in touch, they had been waiting for me and didn’t start the trip.

I remembered that mysterious woman's suggestion and accepted the other party's invitation.

After we met, I found out that the head of the tour group was actually one of my juniors, and it was he who, against all odds, insisted on waiting for me to come back.

Although I don't know him well, we have a school friendship after all, and he is also very talkative, so we became acquainted without knowing it.

To stay in a hotel at night is to form a team by ourselves, and I don’t know anyone else in the brigade well, so I stayed in a room with my juniors.

Because of that incident back then, I was very sensitive to same-sex touch. My junior was about to sit by my bed and wanted to have a conversation with me, but I reflexively pushed him down.

The atmosphere was a bit awkward, but he quickly laughed and apologized to me instead.

Feeling sorry, I agreed to the other party's request to share the same bed.

Thinking about it now, I was really naive at the time, and I couldn't even see such an obvious intention.

He's been very well behaved the other night, and I didn't think much of it.

In those few days, my mind was distracted by another matter. I always felt that when I was traveling, I seemed to see my brother in the crowd, but when I looked for it seriously, I couldn’t see it again.

I hypnotized myself that it was me, even though I knew perfectly well it must be the coward.

In fact, in the past few days of traveling, my heart has almost been untied. Maybe I still hate same-sex contact with same-sex, but if it is him, I don't feel disgusted.

Maybe this is from 13 years of companionship, I don't necessarily love him, but I don't want to cut off our friendship because of this, although this friendship is only my one-sided.

After all, I am a little selfish, I like him out of friendship, but that is not love, even if I call him a lover now, I still haven’t fallen in love with him, but I want to use love as bait, so that this always behaves in front of me Hesitant and cowardly cowards come out.

One night, because I didn't sleep well enough, after hearing my junior confess to me, he became my best bait.

The coward bit the hook willingly.

Perhaps any man, in front of a rival in love, always puffs up his feathers like a rooster, aggressively, as if he wants to kill the other party.

I just wanted to laugh out loud.

But the rooster who just won the fight turned his head in front of me, as if he had been plucked all his hair.

I wanted to sigh again, so I cupped his face and kissed it.

I don't feel anything about kissing, as long as it's not the saliva exchange of tongue kissing, it's the same as kissing my own hand.

But my new crush is clearly happy.

What follows is a day-to-day routine.

Later, I met the crush again.

At my wedding with my lover.

The invitation was given by my lover, he wanted to let the whole world know about our marriage, not to mention his former love rival.

The other party blessed me. Although the expression on his face could not be described as happy, the blessing was very sincere.

But it is me who is blessing, not me and my lover.

I thought about it, and told the other party: "If you hadn't adopted that method at the beginning, maybe we would still be able to."

It was my little revenge on him.

"Since you're here, let's have a good taste of the food here. The dishes made by this cook are delicious." I turned and left.

There was still a small accident at the wedding. The doctor from before also came. I was confused by him and almost ran away with him.

The doctor said that his hypnosis only magnifies the true desire in people's hearts. Even when I was dragged away by my lover, he kept persuading me not to be bound by the past, and to go to a new freedom with him.

Don't trust the doctor, he doesn't have half the truth in his mouth.

The author has something to say: I don't want to write down many things in detail, and the writing style is a bit awkward, so it's good to end like this.

Depending on the mood, I may write about other people's side stories, about things that Gong doesn't know.

Well, this article is officially over, pit-1√