The first love of the mermaid prince

My consciousness left Boris' body and gradually rose in the air, reaching the end of the sky.

My soul core passed through the tunnel of the magic scroll in the opposite direction from when it was started, passed through the black beam of light, and returned to the real world.

When I opened my eyes, what came into view was the ceiling of a large square room, and I was in Su Xuexuan's original body.I spread my hands and sat up, looking around subconsciously.

"Xuexuan, you're awake." Yilan walked towards me from the door not far away, with a consistent smile on her face.

"You're back?" I couldn't figure out why, "Why are you back?"

"I was worried about you and wanted to come back to you, so I came back." He came to me with a smile on his face, and sat down next to me, which would be a usual habit.

"Aren't you angry?" I turned my head away, shocked.

"Don't be angry, nothing serious happened, the most important thing is that you and I are together." He looked calm, his eyes were bright, everything was just like our usual.

I don't know why, I feel very strange, there is an indescribable strangeness.In my perception, Yilan is very serious about love, and their mermaids are surprisingly serious about everything related to love.And my deception to him before clearly made him so disappointed in me, but now he doesn't care about it, completely as if nothing happened, as if it was nothing at all.Obviously this is the best result, but I feel something is wrong instead.

He stood up and helped me up.He held my hand with a very natural expression, looked at me and said: "Xuexuan, shall we go for a walk together?"

I instinctively withdrew my hand, "I!..." I quickly shook off his hand, "I'll go out and be quiet!" I turned around and ran out the door.

After running for a while, I happened to find a room in front of me. I went in and found that it was a bathroom with a washbasin in it.I went directly to the wash basin, turned on the water hose, splashed water on my face with both hands, then put my face under the water hose of the wash basin, and let the water wash over my face and cover my whole head.

Drops of water slid across my cheeks, and the tactile sensation of the traces was like tears, but no matter how the water drops flowed, they couldn't drain the pain in my heart.At that moment just now, I found that I had some resistance in my heart, I couldn't accept Yi Lan's intimate behavior at all, so I instinctively rejected him.

Now I can't accept Yilan's touch at all.

Whenever I was touched by Yilan, the image of Yelie in the tower would appear in my mind.Every time I see my lover Yilan, I think of my enemy Yelie.His appearance in front of me overlaps with his appearance in memory, and his touch immediately evokes his actions towards me in memory.

why?

Why did you do those things to me?

Why did you do such an unforgivable thing to me in the past time and space, but now you walk around me with an innocent face, completely unaware, and I am the only one who bears the burden?

I know, but he doesn't.Yilan doesn't know everything, only I am clearly engraved in my mind, and bear those painful memories alone.

ah?Then how can I be with him?

As long as I hold hands with him, I will think of Ye Lie's overthrow.As long as I hug him, I will think of Ye Lie's abuse.As long as I kiss him, I will think of Ye Lie's strong kiss.As long as I sleep with him, I will think of Ye Lie's rape.

Now, no matter what Yi Lan does, I will always think of Ye Lie.

Those memories, cold to the heart, biting to the bone, are the memories I can't bear to look back on.Just thinking about it in my head makes me tremble all over. I can't imagine how I can be with someone who has the same face as Ye Lie.

Especially since this man was the one who had terrified me before.

God's will tricks people.

After I washed my face to clear my mind and finally calmed down, I silently returned to the large square room.Yilan said that I just woke up, and he was worried about my body, and told me not to run around, and he would stay here to accompany me after I cultivated here for a while in Moren Mountain.I don't think this is like his usual personality, is this Yilan who puts the people first in everything?I said that we are staying in the deep mountains now, and we don’t know what the outside world is. Maybe the outside world has been turned upside down, after all, the seal has been lifted.Yilan says it's okay.

So, we continued to live in the mountains.

We have lived together for a period of time, and everything seems to be normal, but in fact, earth-shaking changes have taken place.

I just found out now that I am actually different from the male protagonist of a slam novel that many people say is "saying that he is a straight man and always yelling that he doesn't like men, but after a few chapters he bends". I really don't like men. (kind), I just traveled to another world, and was moved by the mermaid, a creature born for love, the most affectionate and holy, that's why I like men (fish).If I were in the human world on Earth, I really wouldn't like men (types).The man (fish) in the current life is a monster who was born for martial arts, turned into a man (human) and came to me, so I dismissed it.Yes, I am attracted to Yilan because of the unique qualities of mermaids in him, which make my sexual orientation transcend race and gender.I really have no interest in men (kind) from start to finish.

Here comes the question, what if the merman in my heart is not as affectionate and sexual as I imagined?

What if he had been violent, mean, and even sexually assaulted me?

So, will I still like this merman fish?

I do not know.

Ever since I came back from the world of magic scrolls, I don't have the same feeling towards Yilan as before.I think Yilan around me is weird, and I also think it's weird for me to get along with him.I don't know if he changed or I changed.Or, is this the so-called "post-marital syndrome"?Because a relationship is established (similar to "marriage"), the feeling towards this person changes.Marriage becomes marriage, and love is two different things.

But why is this so?

I obviously loved this man so much back then.

Yes, I don't like him now, but I still love him.

I don't know if anyone can understand this feeling.I said that what I don't like is the person who eats, drinks, and sleeps beside me now, and the living person who walks around me.I said that what I love is the beautiful and gentle boy in my memory, the light blue mermaid who can smile and sing by the water.When I see this person next to me, I just feel bored.When I think of that figure in my mind, my heart still throbs wildly to this day.

I have no heart for this person beside me, only indifference when facing him.My love existed in that ephemeral bubble of the past, and I still love.

It's almost like schizophrenia.They are obviously the same person!