he summer winter

After a few laps on the open street with few people, we finally stopped at Jingshan Front Street, where the soft wicker hangs down. Across the Tongzi River, there are the vermilion walls and green tiles of the Forbidden City.At night, the tourists disperse, and only a few nearby residents come out for a walk or walk their dogs.

Xia Yue hadn't been here at night, lying on the fence and looking around, his cheeks suddenly turned cold, but it was Chi Lidong who took a can of Coke and stuck it on his face.

He took it, looked at Chi Lidong again, and said, "I don't have a backpack today, where did it come from?"

Chi Lidong proudly showed him the empty pocket of his clothes, and said, "This pocket is very big and practical. There are also chocolates here. I'll ask for some later if I want to eat them."

Xia Yue said: "I have a tooth decayed, so I can't eat sweets all the time."

Chi Lidong was a little disappointed, and said: "Swiss chocolates, given by my dad and friends, are only a few dollars in total. I brought them all for you. Don't you really want to eat them?"

Xia Yue said: "Is it specially for me?"

Chi Lidong said: "Yes."

Xia Yue laughed and said, "Then give me a piece."

Chi Lidong: "Aren't you afraid of tooth decay?"

Xia Yue: "I'll go back and brush my teeth well."

Chi Lidong took out a piece, and saw that Xia Yue's hand was occupied by Coke, so he peeled it off and handed it to Xia Yue's mouth.

Xia Yue opened his mouth and bit half of it.

Chi Lidong said: "Is it delicious?"

Xia Yue: "It's not too sweet, but a bit bitter."

Chi Lidong: "Isn't it sweet? I haven't tasted it yet."

He stuffed the remaining half piece of chocolate into his mouth, and said quickly, "It's pretty sweet."

Xia Yue smiled and said, "Who told you to eat it? I've already bitten it."

Chi Lidong: "..."

Under the dim streetlights, he couldn't really see his expression, but Xia Yue could feel his shyness and panic at this moment.This made Xia Yue feel extremely sweet.

The river surface reflected the stars, and the stars fell on Xia Yue's heart.

Classmates and friends have all noticed Xia Yue's change. This change does not mean that he has an extra large tail, but that he suddenly doesn't like to play anymore. Almost all the clubs in the school have withdrawn, and there is an extra pile of CFA textbooks on the desk.

It's like a young ranger who believes in drinking today and getting drunk today, suddenly decided to take a test for fame.

After being teased by everyone a few times, Xia Yue also teased him back. He is a little bit proud, and now he has no way to share his heart with his confidants and friends.One day in the future, he will have to face the small punishments of the secular routine, and he hopes that by then, he will have enough confidence.

He is making himself better for love.He felt that Chi Lidong was doing the same.

One day at noon, they were reading books and writing papers in the library.Because of sleepiness, Xia Yue randomly found a book to change his mind. The boy sitting opposite him noticed the "Thus Spoke Zarathustra" in his hand, and took the initiative to chat with him with great interest.The other party is a Ph.D. student from the School of Philosophy of the school, who knows a lot. Xia Yue is a half bottle vinegar. Lloyd then mentioned Zhang Ailing, who was deeply influenced by Freud's theory, and then naturally discussed several modern Chinese literati, Gu Cheng, Haizi, Wang Xiaobo... until the library gradually increased in the afternoon, it was not easy to influence Others, they stop.

Xia Yue continued to study his CFA, but Chi Lidong threw his notebook aside and took the Nietzsche that Xia Yue read just now to look through it.

Xia Yue: "..."

Chi Lidong: "..."

When he was about to leave the library in the evening, he tugged Xia Yue's sleeves and asked in a low voice, "What books should I read so that I can chat with you like that?"

Xia Yue thought he was just talking, but later on he really read it with Wang Xiaobo in his arms every day, and took notes and excerpts seriously.

Everything is fine, just a little bit off.

Xia Yue also didn't know what was wrong, he could feel that Chi Lidong liked him, but he couldn't feel that Chi Lidong really wanted to fall in love with him.It seems that just seeing each other and playing together every day like this is already very satisfying.

Is it because athletes always train in closed doors that they mature so late?

In front of Chi Lidong, he purposely chatted for a long time with Xihua who he met by chance, showing enthusiasm towards the girl that he didn't usually have, completely leaving Chi Lidong aside.

The flower girl had a good personal relationship with him, and felt that he was abnormal, but she didn't expose him, and played the suitor and the pursued together for more than ten minutes.

When the girl left, he asked Chi Lidong: "Is it pretty?"

Chi Lidong looked like he was wandering: "...beautiful."

Xia Yue said: "It's the flower of our department, many people chase after it."

Chi Lidong: "Yes."

Xia Yue: "I'm chasing her too."

Chi Lidong: "..."

Xia Yue: "What do you think?"

Chi Lidong: "...others can't do it, but you can definitely catch up."

Xia Yue was about to explode, he didn't want to study, and said he was going to play games, but Chi Lidong didn't know that he had given away the game account, so he went to the Internet cafe with him.

The two sat next to each other in front of the two computers, Chi Lidong didn't turn on the computer, and sat there with a dull expression on his face.

Xia Yue noticed that he was depressed, so he kept on doing nothing, opened the QQ zone of the girl Xihua, and looked like an infatuated kind, and swiped the screen to leave a message to express his "like" for the girl.The girl quickly called and asked him: "What are you doing?" He quickly got up and went to the side, explaining in a low voice.

Chi Lidong looked at it from a distance for a while, then turned his head and turned on his computer, put on his earphones, and clicked on a video of a Sanda match.He doesn't play games very much. He used to accompany Xia Yue to Internet cafes, and the number of times he played with Xia Yue was not many. Xia Yue often played. He watched videos by the side. Most of the time he watched some funny and mind-free movies and TV shows. I recommended him to watch "Friends", and he became addicted to it later.I have hardly watched any Sanda video, whether it is a game or a technical commentary.He once said to Xia Yue that after retiring due to injury, he always felt unwilling. It was okay to punch sandbags by himself, but it was easy to get sad when he watched professional things.

But he read it today.

Xia Yue observed him secretly. He was indeed unhappy, but he didn't know if it was because of the video or something else.

this fool.

Xia Yue squeezed over, pretending to watch, Chi Lidong took off the earphones and wanted to put them on for him, but he didn't want to, and said, "I want to learn Sanda too."

Chi Lidong: "I will teach you another day."

Xia Yue: "Do I want to buy any equipment?"

Chi Lidong: "No need, I have plenty at home, you can pick and choose."

Xia Yue: "Then go pick it now."

Chi Lidong: "...to my house?"

Xia Yue: "Can't we go play?"

Chi Lidong looked at him with complicated eyes, hesitated for a long time, and finally said: "There is nothing wrong with it."

Chi Lidong took him home that day, and he not only got a new pair of gloves, but also got a boyfriend.

This is an unparalleled period of youth in his life, short but radiant.

He has obtained the greatest tenderness and given the greatest courage here, and what he has gained and lost is the most extreme existence in this life.

So that the desolation ended, and people went to the sky, leaving only himself, and every time he wanted to leave, he was always held back by nostalgia, and then roots took root under his feet, and it was difficult to move, so he could only accept his fate and grow here.

Later, the annual rings turned round and round.

He still can't hate Chi Lidong, a large part of the reason is that he knows that Chi Lidong never thought of lying to him, otherwise it wouldn't be after he took the initiative countless times that he finally confessed his sexuality and liking.

Even after confirming the relationship, Chi Lidong has always restrained himself from overstepping the threshold. He didn't understand it at the time, thinking it was just the shyness of a late-blooming athlete. Only after they separated did he realize that Chi Lidong was just clumsy and wanted to give " Going astray", he left a retreat where he could retreat.

It is not accurate to say that I have never hated at all.It's just that his insignificant hatred dissipated between heaven and earth as the transoceanic package disappeared during delivery.

It wasn't his hatred that was contained in the package he sent back to China from the UK.

When he went abroad, the sandbags he consigned to the UK from thousands of miles away from China exploded due to the high air pressure when he opened it at the airport, and the sand inside leaked everywhere. He knelt down and cried loudly at the airport.Why didn't he keep anything in the end.

Fortunately, the leather outside the sandbag was not completely broken. When he gave it to Chi Lidong, the name he signed on it and the Q version of himself were still there.After calming down, he thought that the explosion of the sandbag might be a good sign, and he could start a new life, so he might as well say goodbye to the past completely.He wrote a letter to Chi Lidong and sent it back to China together with the outer leather of the sandbag—the letter was almost full of swear words.

Later, he studied and worked, from England to Hong Kong, and from Hong Kong to Shanghai.There were also people who pursued him, and he also thought about trying to accept it, but he was always dragged back by the concern in his heart just before he took a step.

Seriously speaking, Chi Lidong is not the most handsome, let alone smart, and his personality is not very good.But there is such a strange thing, this person is by no means the best, but it seems that the creator tailor-made it for his preferences, even if there are all kinds of bad things, he can only be attracted by this person.

If it's not this person, it's the same with anyone.Some people may choose to let go, but he can't, he only wants this one.

Parents, sister, and many friends can't understand why waste a good time on one person.He also couldn't explain it clearly to everyone. He thought the meaning of time was that when he was with that person, life was short.Otherwise, for him, time is just approaching aging and death day after day.

Later, the end of the story can't be regarded as a happy ending, he just finally got what he wanted.

After more than ten years of wandering, he has found his inner peace, which is enough.

One autumn, the family went to Xiangshan to play, but did not go back at night, and lived in an old house near Chi's family.

Xia Sinian has grown into a ten-year-old boy, a bit naughtier than when he was a child, very much like Xia Yue when he was a boy.He was playing in the glass greenhouse in the backyard, and found a tattered package from the debris piled up in the corner, and he could only vaguely read part of the writing on the list.

He called his fathers to come and see as if offering a treasure: "Look what I found! A package from London!"

Xia Yue: "..."

Chi Lidong cooperated with his son exaggeratedly: "It's from London! It's so amazing! Let's open it and see what it is!"

The moment Xia Sinian took out the sandbag leather from the package, Chi Lidong's expression changed.

The boy quickly found the signature and Q picture on it, looked at his fathers in surprise, realized that something was wrong, and said, "I suddenly want to go to the bathroom." He dropped the things and ran away.

Chi Lidong squatted down and opened the package completely. The leather that had been placed for nearly 20 years had faded and turned white, and the signatures and paintings left by the markers had also faded a lot.There was also a letter in the package, and the letter paper had also changed color.

Xia Yue remembered those pages of swear words, and said awkwardly: "I advise you not to read it."

Chi Lidong ignored it and opened the folded letter paper. The letter was written to him by the young Xia Yue. The handwriting in the letter was neat and beautiful, and the swear words were like writing love poems.

Chi Lidong squatted there and watched for a long time.

Xia Yue said: "Haven't you finished reading? What's so good about those words?"

Chi Lidong remained motionless.

Xia Yue said: "Don't look at it, go cook, and when your son has no food, the house will be demolished."

He suddenly felt something was wrong and walked over slowly.

Chi Lidong was crying.

Xia Yue: "What are you doing? Why are you still crying after scolding you?"

Chi Lidong cried more and more fiercely, still holding those few pages of letter paper in his hand.

Xia Yue was bewildered, and snatched the letter paper. After a few pages of insults that hurt his ancestors, at the end of the letter, "You treat me so badly, but I still love you. If you can't bear to part with me, can you Come to me? I'll wait for you, but not for long."

Xia Yue no longer remembers writing such words.

Chi Lidong cried very cruelly, Xia Yue had no choice but to coax him by patting his head like coaxing a big dog: "Okay, okay, when your son sees it later, it's not ashamed to be ashamed."

Chi Lidong: "A person like me, how can I be afraid of losing face?"

Xia Yue said: "Then how long are you going to cry?"

Chi Lidong stood up, with tears all over his face, and said, "I haven't done anything well."

"You're always waiting for me."

"It still can't wait."

"You have achieved ninety-nine percent, just wait for me to do the last point."

"I never did either."

"For so many years, you are not worth it."

Xia Yue looked at him for a long time, and said, "I waited for the most important one, and everything was worth it."

In this abandoned glass greenhouse surrounded by lovely wild flowers, weeds and vines, Xia Yue clearly told his dull lover for the first time that he had understood each other on that night that meant a lot to them. Duplicity.

After returning home, Chi Lidong refilled the broken sandbag with sand, and then clumsily sewed it up stitch by stitch. Naturally, it was useless to use it as a sandbag for boxing exercises, so he put it in his and Xia Yue's bedroom to do it. decoration.Get up every morning, open the curtains, the first ray of sunlight in the morning shines on this lost sandbag, the name Xia Yue signed and the villain he drew when he sent him back then are still clear.

Just like their love, it has never been so clear.

(Finish)

The author has something to say: this is the end of the main text and extra episodes, thank you all, see you in the next story, the copywriting of the new article will be posted in the last two days, and the pit will be opened in June. Interested friends can bookmark the column and pay attention