I'm sick for Mr. Lu

No matter how many years have passed, Lu Zelin will probably be full of fear for the dishes Su Xingyu cooks with his own hands.

The two sat down, and the egg roll also jumped onto the nearest chair. It sat there with a cute and sensible appearance, which meant that it wanted to beg for some food.But the egg roll is getting skinnier now, and its cuteness has become its disguise. When they didn't pay attention, they jumped onto the dining table.

When Su Xingyu saw it, he wanted to hold the egg roll down. After all, the food eaten by humans was too strong for animals, and eating the egg roll would be bad for his health.

But who would have thought that the egg roll that was about to eat a certain dish, and after sniffing the taste with his nose, he left by himself.

Lu Zelin watched the egg roll slowly go back to his nest and lie down, feeling even more frightened by this table dish - what is in it?It must be really poisonous, right?Otherwise, why did the egg roll leave after smelling it?

Su Xingyu opened two bottles of red wine and poured a glass for Lu Zelin, then he just drank without touching his chopsticks.Lu Zelin thought that Su Xingyu would not poison himself to death, but in fact he still didn't have the courage to use his chopsticks.

But Su Xingyu just stared at Lu Zelin, so stared at that Lu Zelin had to pick up the chopsticks and eat with a bite of food—forget it, let's die, we will die in the end.

In fact, Su Xingyu's cooking is not unpalatable, but the taste is special. Lu Zelin can taste it after one bite. This is Su Xingyu's cooking.

Well, it probably smells like dying.

Seeing that Lu Zelin swallowed it, Su Xingyu smiled and said, "Don't worry, I didn't poison or take any medicine."

I ate a sip of food and drank a glass of wine.

Lu Zelin feels that wine can give him strength, and the so-called borrowing wine to strengthen his courage is probably like this.

Su Xingyu poured a little more for him: "...did you do it so boldly?"

Lu Zelin smiled: "Drinking, just get drunk, or do you have to go through the process first?"

This sentence was originally said by Su Xingyu.

At that time, they were obsessed with bars, and they ran there after get off work every two days.

Although the memory is a little fuzzy now, there must have been a lot of troubles at that time, so Su Xingyu went into the bar and drank one cup at a time.

Lu Zelin accompanied him, seeing him drinking like this, always felt hurting his body, so he said, "Why are you drinking in such a hurry? Can't you drink more slowly?"

That's how Su Xingyu replied to him: "You can drink slowly or quickly, but you're all drunk anyway, just get drunk, what's the procedure?"

They can revisit the conversations many years ago, but the state of mind and the feeling of treating each other many years ago, it is difficult to go back overnight.

Su Xingyu drank more than Lu Zelin, and his eyes grew hot when he remembered some things that happened before.He stood up: "Suddenly remembered that there is still soup, I'll go get it out."

Lu Zelin watched Su Xingyu enter the kitchen, was slightly lost in thought, and after drinking another glass of wine, he followed into the kitchen.

Su Xingyu was really serving soup, milky and milky fish head tofu soup - Lu Zelin saw it and just wanted to shake his head and say no... Maybe there was a reason for this, he first asked Su Xingyu to put down the soup in his hand.

Su Xingyu also understood what Lu Zelin was thinking: "...Don't worry, here..."

Before he finished speaking, he was carried into Lu Zelin's arms.

Lu Zelin said, "...Xingyu, I'm sorry..."

"..." Su Xingyu said with a light smile, "In the past few days, there are many things you want to say but dare not say, want to do but dare not do, the most you say is sorry, so far, are you still sorry?"

"I'm sorry, I owe you my whole life. Even if you forgive me, I can't forgive myself..."

Su Xingyu probably knew what Lu Zelin was going to say. He wanted Lu Zelin to stop talking, but it was still a step too late.

"For our children, I'm sorry... Xingyu, it took me a long time to understand. For a while, you often brought up children-related topics in front of me. At that time, I thought you were just talking casually, but I later realized that There is a reason for this... But I didn't understand whether you have other meanings, I am always like this, not considerate enough, and even blamed you, why don't you want to tell me the truth..."

During this period of time, Lu Zelin said sorry to Su Xingyu a lot, said a lot of apologies.But it was the first time that he told Su Xingyu so clearly about the child.

He knew that this was not only his deepest point of guilt, but also the deepest pain point in Su Xingyu's heart... But if no one mentions it, if they don't face such a point, their relationship will always remain so. No more, like a stage separated by a layer of gauze that cannot be torn off.

Only by facing such pain directly can we come out of this pain.

Su Xingyu's performance was very indifferent. He patted Lu Zelin on the back lightly: "...Maybe this is God's will. God sees that we are not qualified to have this child at all, so we just want him back."

The more Su Xingyu said that, the more distressed Lu Zelin felt when he heard it.He still remembered how Su Xingyu blamed himself sadly when he woke up in the hospital, that was the real Su Xingyu: "You blame me, it's all my fault, how could you not be qualified to have this child... It's just that I'm not good enough , it must be because the children hate me so much, that's why they don't want to stay..."

"...Don't say that, I hid it from you from the beginning... You also said that you don't like children, so I should ask your opinion first..."

Lu Zelin hugged Su Xingyu even tighter: "Even if I don't like children, I wouldn't dislike our children! I just never thought that we would have children. It would be so troublesome for the two of us to have children. What's more, I don't think I can be a good father, so I just said I don't like it!"

Su Xingyu's eye sockets became hot again, and he desperately opened his eyes wide, not wanting tears to fall.Lu Zelin's conjecture was correct, this child was indeed the biggest problem on Su Xingyu's mind.

Lu Zelin asked: "... Will we still have a chance?"

Su Xingyu took a deep breath: "It's impossible... This in itself is something that can only be done according to abnormal reason... What's more, I had a child at an inappropriate time, and I didn't keep it at an inappropriate time... When the child was lost, he took away a lot of things that he needed to survive. These things can't be repaired by myself... So, it's all God's will..."

Lu Zelin really wished he could slap himself twice, he should have asked a long time ago, he shouldn't have let Su Xingyu keep these things in his heart for so long: "...then you went to Hong Kong some time ago and fell ill when you came back The day of... is because..."

Su Xingyu nodded: "...Yes, because I want to have a child, and Ye Weimian happened to be researching this project, so I volunteered to go to Hong Kong to be No.1 in this experiment..."

Lu Zelin felt more heartbroken the more he heard it.

Recalling that time now, the relationship between him and Su Xingyu was indeed a little distant.He didn't know what the reason was, and he had clearly decided to spend the rest of his life with each other, but sometimes, the reality was that there would be some slack that made people feel powerless for a long time.

And under such alienation and slack, there is still uneasy suspicion and jealousy.

There has also been an act of gradually qualifying.

At the same time, Lu Zelin often fell into a state where Su Xingyu was very irritable when Su Xingyu wasn't around - but in fact, he didn't want Su Xingyu to be by his side for any important reasons, he just wanted to see Su Xingyu, and only when Su Xingyu was around could he feel at ease.

Lu Zelin always thought that he and Su Xingyu were hiding secrets from each other during that time—although the reality now seems to be the case, but Su Xingyu's secrets are not any issues that he has worried about in his heart. Su Xingyu's secrets are ultimately for the sake of he.

Leaving aside some issues related to himself, it is actually very simple for Su Xingyu to want a child.The current medical technology is so developed, as long as Su Xingyu is willing, he can choose the hair color and wink that the child may have in the future, choose the appearance and education of the child's mother...

But Su Xingyu didn't, he would rather suffer on himself, use himself as an experiment, in order to have a child of them - they, it's them, it's Lu Zelin and Su Xingyu - not any other woman, let alone any other man - — This is such an incredible thing, if Lu Zelin just heard about it, he would not believe it.

But for something that he wouldn't believe, Su Xingyu tried it on himself.

Even if Su Xingyu said it was only for himself and everything was his own will, Lu Zelin knew that if Su Xingyu didn't have himself in his heart, how could Su Xingyu do such a thing.

Su Xingyu still has himself in his heart all the time.It's just that I, unintentionally, failed to live up to this intention and became a person who was not worthy of Su Xingyu's efforts.

"...Xingyu..." Lu Zelin suppressed the too intense emotions in his heart, even his voice changed, it became hoarse and ugly, like some ugly beast screaming, "...how are you, so stupid..."

Su Xingyu was already a little out of control, and when he heard Lu Zelin's voice, he felt even more uncomfortable. He wanted to hold back his tears: "...I'm so stupid, I can't find anyone smarter than me...I I can remember the names and ingredients of all poisons in the poison library, I can synthesize poisons that have not been included, and I can turn poisons into good medicines... Dozens of my papers have been published by authoritative magazines I'm so stupid, I'm a genius..." Su Xingyu was obviously a little incoherent, but if he didn't speak, tears would come to his eyes—but in the end, tears still fell, he said so much, said that he It doesn't matter how smart or genius he is, he is just an unlucky guy who lost his child.He couldn't even leave a child behind.

As soon as Su Xingyuyi burst into tears, he couldn't hold on any longer and fell to the ground weakly.Lu Zelin couldn't hold him steady, so he sat down on the ground with Su Xingyu.

Su Xingyu leaned his head on Lu Zelin's shoulder, and pinched Lu Zelin's sleeves with one hand until they were wrinkled, crying uncontrollably: "...why, why do I care... always leave me... I can't save my mother, I can't leave a child ...Why, even you have to betray me..."

Lu Zelin knew that what Su Xingyu needed more at this time was to vent, so he suppressed the pain in his heart and dared not make a sound, but still held him tightly with both hands.After Su Xingyu's mood stabilized a bit, Lu Zelin said: "... Xingyu... I won't be confused again... I will treat you well for the rest of my life..."

"...But I am in so much pain, when I think of the things that happened, I feel so painful..."

"... Xingyu, let me make it up to you, let me make it up to you..."

The author has something to say:

I feel that this chapter is still quite heavy.

But it's almost over!

Although I think this chapter is quite heavy, in fact, when I typed the lines, what I thought in my mind was very dramatic

For example, when Lu Zelin apologized, I always thought "I'm sorry, I'm sorry for a thousand, I'm sorry for 1"

When Su Xingyu said he was in pain, I really wanted Lu Zelin to say "Let me heal your pain"

I really think it's funny when I think about it hahahahahahaha

Then in the second half of the code, my friend also sent me a funny video. The key video was really funny, which caused me to jump out of a relatively heavy state and into a world of stupid hahahaha OTZ

The following plot is basically non-abuse, work hard to update the day until the end of the main text