The opposite of a social animal is—

Today is also a day of rest.

Since that day, my parents stopped letting me go to the company, saying that I would give myself a one-month vacation.

It doesn't matter if you are on vacation, anyway, your performance in the company is no different from being on vacation.

Kuang Zefu stood by the lake again, looking at the fluctuating water surface, he thought back to that day.

As long as he closes his eyes, he always thinks of that afternoon.Why did such a terrible thing happen in such a sunny afternoon?

If, at that time, I didn't go swimming; if, at the beginning, I didn't go out with him.Or if I can exchange my life for his... Unfortunately, none of these things will happen.

The memory of that day was so deep that he could recall every detail.

That was when he was ten years old, he took his elder brother Kuang Zetian's hand to the lake, and said he wanted to swim by the lake. Kuang Zetian advised him why not swim in the pool at home. Swimming in this lake outside is very dangerous. He was stubborn. It is said that the swimming pool at home is not as natural as the outside. In the end, Kuang Zetian couldn't persuade him and had to let him go into the water, but the water quality was not very good. Kuang Zefu had leg cramps and almost drowned in the water. He couldn't swim, so after Kuang Zetian fell into the water, his first thought was to catch him, but he slapped Kuang Zefu's hand away. When he came back from looking for others, Kuang Zetian had drowned.

Before Kuang Zetian was born, the relationship between the two was neither good nor bad, but Kuang Zetian's talent could always suppress Kuang Zefu unintentionally, and his parents often compared his brother's deeds with Kuang Zefu, as if they were at the dinner table One of the indispensable topics of my parents is to talk about what Kuang Zetian has done recently, and the most frequently said sentence of Kuang Zefu is:

"You should learn more from your brother. 』

And Kuang Zefu had been working hard before Kuang Zetian was alive, striving to be the best in his studies, and he didn't try to make his parents worry about his life.

But after working hard, he also deeply understood one thing.

He can only follow in his brother's footsteps, and it is simply impossible to surpass his brother.

His feelings for his brother included respect, pride, envy, and even hatred.

Even though I was given the word "endowment" of "talent" in my name, but in fact I have no talent, I will never... be inferior to my brother.Kuang Zefu often thinks so.

After Kuang Zetian's death, Kuang Zefu knew that he would never surpass Kuang Zetian again in his life.

No matter how good he is, he will not be seen by his parents.

From the day after Kuang Zetian passed away, the one thing Kuang Zefu feared most every day was eating at the dining table.When eating, parents would still talk about Kuang Zetian, but to Kuang Zefu, most of them would be "Why can't you even achieve half of your brother's grades?" They even hinted why Kuang Zefu died of your excellent brother instead of you. .

"If you disliked me so much, why did you give birth to me in the first place?" Kuang Zefu was severely beaten by his father after he accidentally confide in his heart once. Didn't say anything superfluous.

People like me are better off dead, right?Will my brother come back after I die?Once this kind of thought popped up, it grew wildly in his heart like weeds, so Kuang Zefu tried to commit suicide more than once, such as hanging himself, cutting his wrists and taking overdose of medicine, even wanting to reproduce the scene of Kuang Zetian's drowning day, Kuang Zefu Lying in the water and watching the water lines in front of him gradually lose consciousness, but in the end he was met by the servants at home and stopped his behavior. His parents punished Kuang Zefu after they found out and told Kuang Zefu: "Even if you will never be as good as your brother , but now you are the only son in our family, you must take over the family business."

After that, one year, two years, I don't know how long it took, Kuang Zefu has been working hard to become a "qualified heir who can approach the level of Kuang Zetian". Although he knows that this will never be possible, it is the only way he can. I did something to satisfy my parents a little bit.

The style of his clothes from then to now was chosen by his parents according to Kuang Zetian's style.

Before he knew it, his style of choosing clothes was very similar to that of Kuang Zetian.

When he entered the company on the first day, he saw the layout of the office and knew that it was arranged for him by his parents according to his brother's style before his death.

Kuang Zefu smiled self-deprecatingly.

The shadow is also good, it shouldn't be bad if it goes on like this.

until.

When Kuang Zefu was told by his family that he was going on a blind date with a young lady, after much deliberation, Kuang Zefu finally confessed to his parents that he was gay, and then his parents scolded him and pressed him with his elder brother: "God Ah, how could I have given birth to such a wicked child, if Zetian was still alive, we wouldn't need to cultivate such a wicked child!"

Hearing these words, Kuang Zefu collapsed like a camel crushed to death by the last straw.

All his persistence all the time seemed to be laughing at his stupidity.

Yes, yes, no matter what you do, you will not be recognized.

That being the case, I will make a solid piece of mud that cannot support the wall.

Since what I do is always wrong, then I do nothing well.

Once again, Kuang Zefu, who deeply understood this point, showed a look of "I can't do it" and "I'm a useless person" in the subsequent training as an heir. In the end, his parents also gave up and decided to go abroad to find qualified heirs.

And it was a chance to notice Chi Jie.

I had no impression of Chi Jie and Kuang Zefu at first, only that he was the new butler who came to the house not long ago.

And on this day, he overheard the call between Chi Jie and his family members by accident, and through other people, he got a general understanding of Chi Jie's basic situation, and the fact that he came here to avoid the blind date at home.

Compared to himself, he was already extremely happy.

Chi Jie's family is very harmonious, and seeing him wanting to escape from the house, Kuang Zefu had a dark thought: Since you hate the happiness God gave you so much, then I will drag you into the mud together alright.

From that moment on, Chi Yu became a pawn in his plan.

When he was at work, he began to idle around doing things that had nothing to do with work or absent from work directly; he fooled around with the dudes outside, and when he pretended to be drunk, he bet with them that he would break his housekeeper within the deadline. At home, he began to harass Chi Jie endlessly...

He knows that his parents can know everything he does in the first place, and he just wants his parents to know.

He asked Xu Qingqing to help him choose women's clothing, so that he could show his head in front of Chi Jie; he asked Chi Jie to help him take a bath, and every time he looked at Chi Jie's disgusted face but did not dare to attack, he would feel deeply: ah, I really am rubbish.

And the reason why he didn't choose to take a shower at that time was not only because it was convenient to order Chi Jie to help him take a bath, but also because he would sit in the bathtub for a while every time he took a bath, and whenever he looked at the water, he would unconsciously recall Looking at the scene of Kuang Zetian falling into the water that day.

How painful that must be.

I'm sorry, brother.

Can't save you.

Everything is my fault.

And that Grimm's fairy tale was a storybook that Kuang Zetian bought for him when he was a child. When he listened to the stories in it, he would think of Kuang Zetian, his death, and everything at the dining table.

In this way, he told himself over and over again, "I'm going to do what this 'crap' of me should do."

I'm sorry, brother, I can't live as your shadow anymore.

Because even the identity of the shadow cannot be recognized at all.

Who am I now?

What kind of state am I living in now?

Am I alive?

I, who gave up everything, have been waiting for someone to reach out to me.

But I also understand.

No one can save yourself, and you don't need others to save you.

Although he said so bravely, but at night, his true feelings would be revealed.

Although it has always been painful, he never thought about it before, but today, somehow, he wants to ask God:

"God, how much I want to be normal."

------

Kuang Zefu: ...There is such a thing, I always feel that it is very irrational for me to think that your life is carefree at the beginning. kind of past...

Tang Liyi: It's okay, anyway, it's you, not me, who is in that body now.

Kuang Zefu (anger gradually rises):? ? ?It's a pity that I still feel sorry for you?

Tang Liyi (laughs): But at the time, you thought I looked down on you when I said you were ordinary, but in fact I envied the lives of ordinary people very much. It is actually very difficult to live an ordinary life.As for why I said something similar to how the young master's life is better... Part of it was because I was afraid that you would feel more uneasy.

Kuang Zefu: ...is that why you don't work hard?

Tang Liyi: Slightly slightly slightly slightly.

Kuang Zefu: That's not quite right. You should have been working hard at first, so why did Tan Qi sound like you were fishing for fish from the very beginning?

Tang Liyi: She was later promoted to be my assistant. The time when she was promoted was about the same time as when I gave up my job, so it was normal for her to think that I was a small fisherman.

Kuang Zefu: Then again, why is my memory of you incomplete?

Tang Liyi: I really don’t know about that, maybe...God thinks that one person is enough to experience this kind of memory, so he cut that memory in your brain with “scissors”, right?

Kuang Zefu: Then in the end I suddenly wanted to cut my face with a knife to make amends to Chi Jie?Could it be that it is influenced by your feelings that part of your memory is not in my head?

Tang Liyi: Hey, aren't you acting? So you're serious?

Kuang Zefu: ...Does this kind of thing involve acting?

Tang Liyi (spreading his hands after thinking for a while): Who knows, is it influenced by me or is it your real thought.

Kuang Zefu: Wow, you said that I am an ordinary person. Generally speaking, ordinary people do not have...

Tang Liyi (staring at Kuang Zefu): Really?Is it difficult to maintain this "ordinary"?Maybe you also need to do similar things to maintain your own heart.

Kuang Zefu: Wow, the more I talk about it, the scarier it gets. Is it really okay?

Tang Liyi: Didn't you start it in the first place?

Kuang Zefu: All right, all right, my fault, my fault←_←

His day - END.