middle aged

The life in Z City for the first time is simple and clean. Living on campus, Mo Fanfan lives in standard classrooms, laboratories, canteens, and apartments every day. The environment on campus is pure and fresh. He said that it was a good place to adapt, and the college also took care of him. He hadn’t lived in China for a long time, and only two elective courses were arranged in the first semester. There is always a hopeful smile on his vigorous face.Every time Mo Pingfan saw them, he would think of the past, the teenage age, the impulse and passion in this land.

Since he decided to come back, he knew that that person must be here.

That person has been like this since he was a child. He looks sharp on the outside, like a tough character, but deep down he is extremely soft. At that time, he was only a teenager, and he liked to take care of the people around him without hesitation. He would be more willing to shoulder the responsibilities of the family. In that case, he would not leave Z City, let alone stay away from his parents.

In this way, with only this little understanding, Mo Pingfan returned to Z City impulsively, and signed a two-year scientific research exchange agreement with Z University.In fact, to put it bluntly, Mo Pingfan was betting, betting almost crazily, betting on the chance of meeting him in the vast sea of ​​people, betting on the emotion left after the erasing of the years, betting on the only remaining emotion in the hasty memory.

In the first two weeks when he first came to Z University, when the night was quiet, Mo Fanfan always felt that he was crazy. With such a probability of finding a needle in a haystack, his chances of winning the bet were extremely slim. Taking a step back, he won the bet , I saw him in the vast crowd, but as for him, has he already married and had children, has he already married and started a business, has he forgotten who he is?

What's more, back then, it was Mo Pingfan who chose to leave first.

For many nights, Mo Fanfan wondered if he could quit now if it was really a losing game, but when the sun rose after a night of tossing and turning, he always had a glimmer of hope.In these 18 years, he met others, he warmed others, but often in the end, those people always left him.

He remembered that everyone who left him would say: "You are fine, but you don't love me."

Until more than a year ago, when the last object dragged his luggage and left his hut in Japan, he said to him: "It's not that you don't know how to love, but your heart has already been filled by one person. There’s no way to squeeze out a penny for others.”

The slow-witted man only realized later that he dug deeply into his heart like a fool. At that time, he realized that the softest part of his heart was quietly locked by himself with a small box, and the box There is only one person's name - Qi Yunze.

The emotions of youth are always buried the deepest and remembered the farthest. In fact, when I think about it carefully, Qi Yunze is only accompanied by Mo Fanfan for half a year. A person’s life has dozens of years. What is the half a year worth? Well, what's ridiculous is that feelings never depend on time to win or lose.

From then on, Mo Fanfan decided to return to China. The sensibility in his heart surpassed the boundaries drawn by reason, and he was out of control. The impulse to see this person again surrounded Mo Fanfan, and Zeng even made him unable to let go. Admitting his cowardice and timidity more than ten years ago, he admitted that the multiple-choice question more than ten years ago, he still made a mistake after all.

Wrong, there is always a price to pay.

In the worst ending, he is already married and has children, and even has both children. He has long forgotten the ignorant emotions he had when he was young, and he has forgotten who he is.

Such an ending... When Mo Pingfan was in Japan, he quietly asked himself whether he could bear it. After thinking for a long time, and only half a day, he made up his mind. If the ending is really like this, then at least let me see him truly happy. .

I came here with impulsiveness, but when I came to reality, it looked different. I found the community where I used to live with my mother based on my memory, but this place had already been demolished and rebuilt, and it became a sports square in the old city. I asked my senior brother to find the person in charge of teaching at No. 12 Middle School in Z City, but found that the alumni address book only existed ten years ago. Even Mr. Li, the head teacher at that time, followed her husband to Shenzhen to start a business [-] years ago. up.

The clues that were originally vague have been completely broken until now. China has developed too fast in the past 20 years. The high-end business districts, wide streets and towering office buildings have washed away the original simplicity of this small city. No matter how difficult it is to find the memories of the past, Mo Fanfan stood in front of the old campus of No. [-] Middle School in Z City, looking at the familiar stone statue of Confucius at the entrance, and the unfamiliar large LED screen behind the stone statue.

All the prosperity in front of him was a little unreal, but the result was real and a little scary, and the ethereal and silky connection with Qi Yunze was still broken. I knew it was a matter of little hope, so what was I asking for extravagantly?

"Daddy, Daddy, I want some marshmallows."

Mo Fanfan looked down and saw a little girl hugging his thigh. When he looked up, he saw that he was hugging wrong, and burst into tears.

"Daddy, daddy, I want daddy, wow..." The little girl in this age group had a loud voice. Mo Pingfan had never coaxed a child before, so he had never seen such a formation before.

"Little friend, don't cry, don't cry..." I could only squat down and say a few words of consolation, but it seemed useless. The little girl cried louder, and the veins on her forehead were about to burst out. , the small face was flushed, teardrops were falling down, the small body seemed to store infinite energy, the voice became louder and louder, and the passing pedestrians began to point and stop to watch.

Suddenly, an older little boy emerged from the crowd, and held the little girl's hand, "Sister, don't cry, where are Dad and Mom?" Crying, ashamed."

Seeing the little boy, the three-year-old girl immediately broke into a smile. The tears on her face were not wiped clean, so she laughed. Mo Pingfan was dumbfounded. This child...has he ever learned how to change his face...

"Brother, I can't find my father, and I want to eat cotton candy again."

"Why are you running so fast? Dad said he would buy you cotton candy."

The little boy dragged the little girl and walked in the direction where the little girl came, and the crowd dispersed. Mo Fanfan stood up and looked at the backs of the two little brothers and sisters holding hands. Although the boy was small, he looked only six or seven years old. His younger sister's hands are obviously very stable. When encountering potholes on the road, he still knows how to take his sister to detour, even if those small potholes are for him, he can walk over them with one step.

The child's father is also such a responsible, loving and caring man.

Watching the two children gradually go away, Mo Fanfan is also preparing to go back to school. Although the sun is still shining on Sunday afternoon, there is still no light in his heart. It has been a month since he came to Z City, but he still has nothing. Among them, what is there to be unwilling to do?

Looking back at the familiar school gate, the last place where memories are kept, will collapse in a few months and will no longer exist. It seems that this trip back to China was a wrong trip after all.

"Bebe, run slower, Dad can't keep up with you."

"Dad, Dad, I was here just now, the little monkey must have fallen here."

It was still the voice of the little face-changing expert just now. Mo Fanfan looked down, and sure enough, a doll of a monkey with a big mouth fell at his feet. The doll was handed to the little girl who ran over, but she saw a familiar face behind her.

The heart contracted violently, and the surrounding air seemed to freeze. Mo Fanfan once thought of dozens of words in his mind that he should say when he saw him again, but when this person stood in front of him alive, , but he felt that his throat was blocked by cotton, and his ears seemed to be blocked. He couldn't say anything, he couldn't hear anything, and the only thing he could feel was the "thump...thump... ..." The heart beat faster and faster.

Mo Fanfan felt that his current appearance should be very embarrassing, very embarrassing, holding a doll in one hand, and standing there stiffly, because of the violent contraction of his heart, his face must also be flushed, and his eyes are like this. Looking straight at the other party... No, I have to say something.

He tried to open his mouth, but his tongue seemed to be ironed straight, and he couldn't utter a single word...

"Uncle, can you give me back the big mouth monkey..." Qi Beibei finally couldn't help it after being quiet for too long, raised his head, opened his big eyes, and looked at Mo Fanfan.

"Oh..." The root of his tongue, which had been stiff for a long time, finally softened a little. Mo Fanfan finally uttered a word, and handed the big mouth monkey to the little girl. The moment he lowered his head, his sanity finally came back.

It turned out that what was waiting for him was always the worst ending. He was already married and had children, let alone a son and a daughter.Now he probably doesn't recognize himself anymore.

"Mo Fanfan?!"

After all, he still recognized him, and when he heard his voice, his ordinary and inexplicable nose became sore, how many times he dreamed back in the middle of the night, heard him calling his name like this, and woke up in the middle of the night, after all, it was just a dream.Now, he was standing in front of him alive, calling his name, holding his daughter's hand, and just looking at him like this.

Falling leaves in the autumn wind, alone, right and wrong, hard to find old people.