middle aged

The custom in City S is to pay respects to relatives who died years ago, so the cemetery in the next year is deserted, and compared to usual, it is less human.The administrators of the cemetery also went back to celebrate the New Year on vacation as usual, leaving only an old man who guards the gate with a big yellow and white dog to guard the garden.

Mo Fanfan looked at the elegant smiling face on his mother's tombstone, gently brushed the dust off the tombstone for her, looked into Li Meiqi's eyes in the photo, and said nothing.

"Brother..." Bai Ning called out to him

"I'm fine..., I just miss her a little bit. If she's still here,...forget it, let's not talk about it. Bai Ning, wait for me in the lobby of the administrator's office. I'll go find you later."

Bai Ning nodded, turned around and left.

"Mom, I haven't seen you for a long time, I'm sorry..." In the past few months in Z city, Mo Fanfan only went back to S city to see his grandma and mother on one weekend. time, he never came back.

"I met him again, and I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing." Mo Fanfan touched his mother's yellowed face in the photo: "Mom, tell me, do I really have a destiny with him?"

"Mom, I asked Matsumoto two days ago, when he snatched my father away, did he think he would hurt me? He told me that at that time he had already ignored so much. But now I am doing The same thing that Matsumoto did to us, is this karma?"

"Mom, do you know that I met a little mixed-race girl on the plane, who was very beautiful and not afraid of people at all, just like Qi Beibei in Qi Yunze's family, but along the way I was thinking, if because of me, this If the child has no father since she was a child, then how difficult her life will be, will she be the same as when I was a child, don't like to see people, have no friends, and always like to stay by myself?..."

"Mom, am I being too selfish, so I ran back to City Z from Japan so impulsively, and I didn't care whether he was married or not, so I looked for him all over the world, and I really met him. I knew he had a family and a child, and I didn't care about him." To be so entangled."

Mo Fanfan talked a lot, and when he was tired, he gradually fell silent. Looking at his mother's still beautiful appearance in the photo, a wry smile appeared on the corner of his mouth. After a long time, he said in front of his mother's grave, "Mom, I Decided to separate from him, those two children need him more than I do, as for me, "..." I will always meet someone else, won't I?"

After all, he is not Matsumoto, and Qi Yunze is not Mo Hua. The same story may have a different ending if it is put on a different person.

That night, Mo Fanfan didn't fall asleep all night. I don't know if it was because of the love that will eventually pass away, or because of the continuation of a lonely life.

It was the seventh day of the lunar new year when we returned to City Z. Although it was not yet the fifteenth day, with the end of the Spring Festival holiday, the atmosphere of the city began to fade.Mo Fanfan got off the high-speed train and took a taxi back to Z University alone.The school hadn't started yet. Except for the security guards and teachers on duty, the whole school was empty.Because the school was closed during the holidays, taxis could not enter the campus, so Mo Fanfan had to get off the car at the school gate, and dragged the big suitcase to the small apartment by himself. City Z should have just snowed two days ago, and there is still unmelted snow on the tops of the ivy on both sides of the road.No one cleared the roads on the campus during the holidays, and the snow was frozen to ice. Mo Fanfan walked on it, staggeringly dragging the boxes, and almost fell several times along the way, but fortunately, he finally saw the small apartment unit The door, and the door of the unit, the man wrapped like a rice dumpling.

The man was tightly wrapped, with a thick wool cap on his head, a black and gray cashmere scarf around his neck, and a large army green down jacket that looked like a small army coat from a distance. Wearing leather gloves, he lit a cigarette tremblingly with one hand, and put one hand in the pocket of his down jacket. While smoking the cigarette, he shook his legs back and forth, adding a source of heat to himself.

Seeing Mo Fanfan dragging his suitcase, the man stopped in his tracks and stared fixedly into his eyes. Mo Fanfan didn't speak. He stood at the bottom of the third staircase at the door of the unit, raised his head, and was just so quiet. looked at him.

A few minutes later, Qi Yunze slumped down the cigarette in his hand, walked down angrily, pulled the suitcase in Mo Fanfan's hand, and dragged Mo Fanfan's suitcase up the stairs with his almost frozen body .

Mo Fanfan followed him quietly, saw him open the door with the key, and when he entered the apartment, Mo Fanfan was surprised to find that the small apartment he hadn’t lived in for a long time was still clean and tidy. , not at all like the ice and snow outside.But before he left, he had already turned off the main heating valve.

"Bang...!" Qi Yunze suddenly appeared behind Mo Fanfan who had just entered the door. He put his hands on the door behind Mo Fanfan on both sides, and tightly bound Mo Fanfan between himself and the door.

"Do you want to escape again?!" The exhaled breath was full of cold touch, Mo Fanfan looked at Qi Yunze's lips that had been frozen to the point of being bloodless, and said, "Why are you downstairs, why don't you stay here?"

"Don't change the subject! Why didn't you reply to my messages from the day before yesterday, and you didn't answer my calls? Do you want to play the same thing 18 years ago?! Leave me here alone, don't care about anything, what Don’t even care about it, and then disappear?! How do you want to torture me, Mo Pingfan, don’t you think I’ll be satisfied if I go to Japan to find a bottom?!” Qi Yunze roared, at this time, he even wanted to put his eyes on his eyes. This person tore up, ate, wiped, and put them in his stomach, at least don't worry about him disappearing suddenly, suddenly there is no news.

"Yunze, calm down, please sit down first, I'll pour you some hot water." Mo Fanfan tried to break Qi Yunze's confinement, but it didn't work.

"Do you know that sometimes, I even want to strangle you to death, so that at least I don't have to worry about you disappearing suddenly one day." Qi Yunze's face moved closer to Mo Pingfan, with a slightly fierce look on his face. His eyes were like a wild wolf seeing food, such a strange Qi Yunze made Mo Pingfan a little scared, he turned his head, not daring to look into his eyes.

"I went to see my mother." After a long time, Mo Fanfan whispered.

Hearing what he said, Qi Yunze immediately lost his temper. For Mo Pingfan, his mother who died young was always a pain in his heart. During the few months with him, Qi Yunze would not talk too much about it. As for his mother, until today Mo Fanfan took the initiative to say it, and he lost his arrogance.

Putting the two hands that imprisoned Mo Pingfan, Qi Yunze took off his coat and changed his shoes, and sat down on the small sofa in the living room of the small apartment.Mo Fanfan quietly walked into the small kitchen, trying to boil some water.

"It's in the thermos. I cooked it this morning." Qi Yunze's voice floated in from outside.

Mo Fanfan was startled, sure enough, he had already prepared everything for him before he came back.

After bringing out two cups of hot water, Mo Pingfan handed a cup to Qi Yunze, and sat beside him silently.

"Yunze,"

"Are you feeling tired?" Before Mo Pingfan could speak, Qi Yunze interrupted him: "Is it?"

"sorry."

"Oh, sorry for what?" Qi Yunze sneered, "I'm just someone who comes and goes when you call it. If you say we're together, we'll be together. If you feel tired, you'll separate. Then What am I?!"

"Yunze, you know, we are together, what will happen in the end? Are you going to divorce Xiaoman?! Are you going to give up your family and everything for me?!"

"How do you know I can't!" Qi Yunze slammed the water glass on the coffee table, "Don't underestimate my determination to be with you, I've already lost you once, and I can't bear to lose you again Second-rate!"

"But I don't want to! I don't want to be the one who separated your wife and children. I don't want to be like that man who destroys other people's families and leaves two innocent children without a father!"

...Qi Yunze stared straight at Mo Pingfan with his eyes wide open. He never imagined that Mo Pingfan, who is usually reticent, still had such thoughts in his heart: "What are you talking about...why can't I understand?"

Mo Fanfan took a deep breath: "You know, I rarely mention my father."

"Yes……"

"Do you know why he left me and my mother back then?"

Qi Yunze shook his head

"Because he fell in love with a man at that time," Mo Fanfan's eyes were moist. Thinking of this past, he once thought he didn't mind anymore, but when he really uncovered the scar again, he was still heartbroken. Tolerate.

"At that time, he fell in love with a Japanese man and was discovered by my mother. I was too young at that time to know what divorce is, but the last impression of him in my mind is that he dragged his suitcase out of the house. It looks like, for more than ten years, he has not heard from him at all, because of him, do you know how many people talked about us behind the scenes at that time? Do you also hope that your two children will live like this when they were young? Do you also hope Those two children of yours have hated you for decades?!"

"It's not like before. Even if we really get divorced, I can fight for the custody of the child. People's ideas are so open now. We won't be like you when you were young."

"Stop talking, Yunze, you're not me, you don't know, even if it's like what you said, you can fight for the custody of the child, then how should I face you two children? Before, I was a victim of a divorce case, but now, if I am really asked to be the executioner who breaks up other people's families, I can't do it, I really can't do it, Qi Yunze!" Tears fell drop by drop , the pain of childhood seems to be accompanied by Mo Fanfan's weakness all his life, and it hurts his heart when he pokes it.

"Okay, okay!" Qi Yunze lit a cigarette with trembling hands. Normally, he tried to avoid smoking in Mo Fanfan's small apartment, but today, he couldn't bear it anymore.After taking a deep breath, he rubbed his misty eyes. The damn cigarette smelled so strong that his tears almost flowed down.

"Have you thought it through?" A cigarette was burned out, and the silence in the room was broken.

"Yeah..." Mo Fanfan lowered his head and kept sitting on the sofa with his legs crossed, without moving. The thick lenses covered his eyes, making it difficult for Qi Yunze to see clearly.

"Okay, take care of yourself, I'm leaving."

Putting the spare key on the shoe cabinet at the entrance, Qi Yunze stepped out of this small world. After the man closed the door from the outside, what Mo Fanfan heard was the voice of his own heart dying. The quietness in the small apartment was scary, and he also Without turning on the light, he just stared at the closed door and sat on the sofa for a whole night.