cliff

In Yinghe Municipal Hospital, the director of neurology department is consulting Shen Yi.

Director Wang He Wang has more than 20 years of experience in treatment. When Lu Chen was a child, he always felt that the neurology department was the place to treat mental illness, and it was the only department that was too scared to come here.

At that time, Wang He had just graduated from university. Like other young interns at that time, he often served this little ancestor.Lu Chen's little understanding of mental disorders was imparted to him by Wang He intentionally or unintentionally.

The hospital is very busy. With more and more patients in the past two years, Wang He only allocated 5 minutes to each patient at most, so he had no time to catch up with Lu Chen.

Five minutes later, Wang He diagnosed Shen Yi as moderate depression and mild anxiety.Holding the medicine worth several hundred dollars in his hand, Shen Yi felt a little melancholy. He hadn't taken the medicine yet, and the side effects on the medicine bottle had crushed half of his remaining rationality.

Hearing the phrase "sufficient and sufficient treatment" from the doctor and the onset time of up to one or two months, I feel even more melancholy.

Lu Chen rushed back after paying the money, and patted him on the back.Shen Yi trembled as if seeing a monster, seeing his performance, Lu Chen also froze for a moment.He arched his nose with his hands in embarrassment, and looked up to see the medicine bottle in his hand.

"Um... By the way, I have already told the dormitory manager that you can live with me these few days. I will take care of it at the school. You don't have to worry, just take the medicine honestly. I have known Wang He since I was a child." ,do not worry."

Speaking of which, Lu Chen stuffed the medicine bottle in his hand into a plastic bag, and dragged Shen Yi back to school to carry things, but Shen Yi didn't say a word from the beginning to the end.

Along the way, people kept looking back at him. Fortunately, Shen Yi was used to other people's eyes since he was a child, so he didn't think about it blindly.

But the things in front of him suddenly turned gray, like an old-fashioned gray and white TV, only the shadows shaking back and forth reminded the existence of this world.

Shen Yi's hands couldn't help trembling, "Brother", there was a tremor in his voice.

Lu Chen turned around and saw the fear on Shen Yi's face, he grabbed his arms nervously and asked, "What's wrong, what's wrong?"

"I...my eyes..."

"What's wrong with the eyes?" Lu Chen stared at his eyes and found that the focus of the pupils was still there.

Shen Yi seemed to have used all his strength to say a word, "I can't see the color anymore".

Lu Chen smiled reassuringly, and patted his head, "It's okay, neurological disorders will affect your senses, and you'll be fine when you're done. Don't worry, I'm here."

Lu Chen took Shen Yi back to the dormitory to pack up his things, and settled them in his own home.

When Lu Chen bought a house because he was too lazy to climb the stairs and wait for the elevator, he bought the first floor with a courtyard. Now he is even more grateful for his wisdom at the beginning.It doesn't matter how many times Shen Yi wants to dance.

Shen Yi was a little embarrassed at first, but it was because he disturbed others.Lu Chen gave him a sense of security and belonging like being picked up by his mother-in-law when he was a child, but now that he is an adult, this "mother-in-law" will neither drag him down nor hurt his close relatives.

What's even more fortunate is that he didn't know his secret past, the first half of his life full of shame.

Shen Yi suddenly wanted to start from scratch, if he could be cured.

Both Lu Chen and the doctor said that he was sick, but he always felt that he had always been like this, and he had never had any emotions, except for some changes in his senses.

When Shen Yi stood at the door of Lu Chen's house, all the embarrassment in his heart disappeared.

How can a person live such a sloppy life and look like a dog outside?Did he... hire a nanny?

Lu Chen didn't feel anything at all. In his eyes, isn't it normal for men to be sloppy?But the expression on Shen Yi's face aroused a bit of his self-esteem that had long since degenerated.

"Eh..." Lu Chen scratched his head, "Well, I haven't had time to clean it up, I've been very busy these days."

Shen Yi glanced at him. He remembered that Lu Chen was suspended from school because of his jumping off a building, so he was busy writing a review?Forget it, just pay the rent!

Shen Yi hesitated for a long time and finally stepped into the door, Lu Chen was relieved. "Come here, you live in this room", Lu Chen guided him into the master bedroom, and he lived in the second bedroom, because the second bedroom has a balcony, so it saves him from running twice to wash his clothes.

The third room is a storage room, full of mess and everything, the door is locked all the year round, and when you open it, it almost becomes a second garbage dump.

There are a pile of takeaway boxes on the coffee table in the living room, and the ashes in the ashtray have been accumulated for several years.The kitchen and dining room are as clean as new, so new that there is not even a pot.

I don't know why, seeing this messy scene, Shen Yi felt a little relaxed.

In the bedroom, Lu Chen cleans up the room for him, and in the living room, Shen Yi cleans up the garbage dump made by Lu Chen.The two of them didn't talk much, and they didn't feel embarrassed.

As soon as the window was opened, the fragrant spring breeze added some freshness to the empty room.

Shen Yi stared blankly at the outside world, searching their memory for what color they were.

He has always felt that he is living in two worlds, one is emotional, and his real feelings are blank.

The other is in rationality, the experience he honed the day after tomorrow, and then he makes judgments based on experience and normal thinking, judging what kind of things he should be like, and judging how to deal with them.

It was also because of this that one day when his mind was shackled and his thoughts were chaotic, Shen Yi felt unprecedented panic.I can only rely on the remaining rationality to arrange a fixed timetable for myself, and then repeat the same kind of life day after day, not even daring to approach the border.

The spring breeze hit the cherry blossom petals on his face, his soft hair, and his flat shoulders.Cherry blossoms are so beautiful.

Shen Yi spread his five fingers, let the warm air blow through his fingers, and dried his freshly washed hands, just like trying to hold the sunshine in front of him.Sunshine also waved to him.

Lu Chen couldn't bear to take out his mobile phone to take a picture of this scene, only when he heard the clicking sound of the camera did Shen Yi turn around with a dazed expression on his face.

Lu Chen glanced at him, and didn't feel that there was anything wrong with secretly taking pictures of others.He waved to Shen Yi, "Come here".

Shen Yi obediently walked to his side, and followed him to sit on the sofa.

Lu Chen dug out the photos on his phone, "Is it beautiful?" Then he smiled wretchedly.

Shen Yi glanced at him, Lu Chen should be a little helpless reading his expression.Then he took Lu Chen's cell phone, flipped through the photo album, and found that there were no less than dozens of sneak photos of himself in it.

Shen Yi's life is very simple, classrooms, dormitories, library, all the factors that can be peeped, the dormitory is generally not entered, the classroom is inconvenient, almost all the photos in Lu Chen's mobile phone are from the library, nothing more than standing and sitting How could he take so many pictures of the two poses? !

"Heh, I'm very boring, what can I do?"

"What's the matter, why don't people look at you because you're good-looking?" He didn't feel ashamed at all.

"Is it that pretty?"

Lu Chen thought to himself, big brother, are you joking around the world?Forgive my short-sightedness since I have never been abroad.

Shen Yi didn't wait for his reply, flipping through the photos back and forth, seeing that the clothes she was wearing were all recent.I understood that Lu Chen was spying on him because he was afraid that he would be overwhelmed.

"Thank you".

"Thank me for what?" Lu Chen replied subconsciously, before realizing that Shen Yi had already discovered his intention.I was busy thinking of some words to ease the embarrassment.

Suddenly he held Shen Yi's hand with both hands, like the village commendation meeting shown on TV, and the village chief said to him like holding a young and promising young man: "Shen Yi, you must live well, otherwise it would be a shame." The loss of all mankind. Our great China has only produced one peerless beauty in thousands of years!..."

What kind of mess is this? What does it have to do with all human beings that a lot of peerless beauties are born in China every year?

Shen Yi really wanted to ask, how did you pass the Chinese test?But suddenly, inexplicably, I didn't really want to talk more, so I didn't pursue it further.

Shen Meiren didn't know that Lu Chen had opposed him everywhere before because Shen Yi's grades were too top-notch, so top-notch that he was insane.Jealousy, pure jealousy!

Shen Yi suddenly stopped talking, Lu Chen quietly accompanied him, and after a while he said seriously: "Are you hungry?"

Shen Yi was silent, as if he had reacted for a while before he nodded his head lightly.

Lu Chen knelt in front of him and met his gaze, "Do you want to go out to eat or make it yourself? There is a pot in the cupboard. Don't mind my poor craftsmanship."

"Let me do it".

"Can beauties cook too? Ha, then shall we go shopping?"

Lu Chen saw his hands clenched tightly, "Don't be afraid, we'll go to the evening market to buy, all of them are uncles and aunts, there are not as many people as there are in supermarkets and vegetable markets. The vegetables are all grown by the hawkers themselves, and they may not look very good Same, but absolutely natural and pollution-free."

Lu Chen's lowered tone was like coaxing a child, he was completely different from the person who picked him up in class.

Shen Yi nodded again as if exhausting all his strength.

Lu Chen didn't know whether he should be thankful, he felt that he was different to Shen Yi, and for a depressed patient, his allowing you to be by his side was enough proof of this difference.

Although Lu Chen himself didn't know when it started.But with Shen Yi by his side, even if he doesn't speak, Lu Chen still has a heartbeat and a sense of happiness like first love.

This feeling is so strange that even he himself doesn't know when it came.So it can only prove that Shen Yi is indeed a scourge.

When Lu Chen got up, he boldly dragged Shen Yi up from the sofa, and lifted his elbow with both hands, as if holding a precious vase.

Shen Yi cooperated with him politely, and he didn't know what kind of feelings he had for Lu Chen. Depression blocked his emotional transmission system, so he could only let Lu Chen do whatever he wanted.

After seven o'clock in the afternoon, the young people turned to nightlife, the old people had gone home to recuperate, and the streets were very deserted, so Lu Chen specially picked this time to come.

Shen Yi tied up his hair for cleaning today and forgot to let it go when he went out. Without the cover of his hair, he always felt insecure, as if something he tried to hide was caught in a corner.Even though there are hardly anyone on the street.

Shen Yi kept his head down and walked very slowly. Lu Chen, who was pulling him, sensed something was wrong, and turned to look at Shen Yi.

Such a warm day and such a lonely person, even the stars are waving to him, but he ran away in panic.

Lu Chen walked behind him, put his arms on his shoulders, adjusted his steps into one tune, gently pushed him forward, and seemed to be waiting for him to walk together.

Every time he meets a passerby, Shen Yi will stop unconsciously, as if blocking the way of others, letting them pass first.No one could understand the panic he tried to hide but still couldn't help showing.

They went to the market without staying any longer, it was getting darker and more crowded, and Shen Yi was getting more and more out of order.Holding Shen Yi with one hand, Lu Chen deliberately chased and ran all the way home like playing a game.

Lu Chen originally thought that it would be like this every day, and Shen Yi would get better every day if he went to buy vegetables when there were few people.Actually no.

After taking the medicine for a month, the medicine has not had any effect, and the side effects of the medicine have already overwhelmed him.

Every night he suffers from a headache and can’t sleep, his legs are weak and he can’t walk, his thoughts are still confused, and he can’t concentrate. He can’t even read books. He knows every word, but he doesn’t understand it.

If Lu Chen hadn't watched him take the medicine every day, Shen Yi would have given up long ago.

There is no bottom line in this hell, and any redemption is futile.

One day later, Shen Yi took a knife to cut potatoes, cutting like an endless process, he cut his hands anyway, and the potatoes were stained blood red.

Lu Chen was watching TV in the living room, drifting towards the kitchen from time to time, and finally found something wrong with Shen Yi, as if he was trapped in a nightmare, his limbs were controlled by unknown things, like a walking dead without a soul.

Lu Chen hurried over anxiously, "Shen Yi!"

Shen Yi was startled awake, and when he turned around, he was still holding the knife in his hand, as if he was about to chop the knife down on someone, his expression was like a beleaguered beast, with the attitude of a deadly fish.The hand holding the knife was still shaking, and the other hand was clamped to the side of the waist, bleeding.

Seeing that his blood was about to be sucked dry by the ground, Lu Chen didn't care about his usual carefulness and gentleness, stepped forward and grasped his hand holding the knife, and as soon as he pressed his fingers hard, the knife in Shen Yi's hand fell to the ground. The crisp landing sound was drowned out by the sound of the TV.

Lu Chen dragged Shen Yi out of the kitchen, took out the medicine kit and bandaged him.

The two slept separately. Lu Chen saw that he was no different from before. Could it be that he was pretending for himself?

"You'll sleep with me from now on," said Lu Chen, looking at his face, "What's wrong with you recently, how is it compared to before?"

It took Shen Yi a long time to say a word, "I'm sorry", and then he turned to Lu Chen in panic, "Did I hurt you?"

Lu Chen knew it in his heart, "It's hurt. Seeing your hand hurt like this, my heart aches so badly that it's about to bleed out."Lu Chen gently held his mummified hand, and couldn't help but say, "How do you plan to compensate me?"

Shen Yi looked at him looking really uncomfortable, whispered: "Do you want me?" Then nervously added: "If...if you don't dislike me".

Lu Chen looked at him helplessly, "What do I dislike about you?"

Shen Yi remained silent for a while before Lu Chen pretended to be coquettish and said: "I have a beautiful woman who promises me with her body, I can't ask for it." Then he kissed his mummified hand almost reverently, "Don't hurt yourself again in the future, I feel bad."

Shen Yi stood up, nestled Lu Chen into the sofa, sat on his lap, bent over and hugged his head, and gnawed on his mouth.

Lu Chen froze completely, and had no time to react.Shen Yi has already knocked his teeth open, his tongue is really soft, with a hint of sweetness.The long hair swept across his shoulders, making his heart itch.

When Lu Chen reacted, he had already fought back. The salty pig's hand poked in along the hem of his clothes, the flesh connected to the skeleton, and he could feel his trembling and powerful heartbeat in his thin chest, and his slender waist was almost practiced by Lu Chenna. Sanda's hand was pinched off, Shen Yi finally couldn't bear the pain and shivered, and Lu Chen woke up a little bit.

He knew in his heart that when Shen Yi said he would give it to him, part of it was to repay his care, part was to make up for the guilt in his heart, and part of the truth, it was impossible for Shen Yi to know, and neither did Lu Chen.

But Lu Chen had something in his heart, he knew it.He has never been a sentimental person, he is a person who looks very inconspicuous, but has various principles, and is a person who does not start or end easily.

Lu Chen pressed Shen Yi into the sofa, nestled in his arms, and kissed the sweat on his forehead, "Shen Yi, I love you".

Shen Yi opened his misty eyes, and asked him intermittently: "Why...why?"

What's there to like about me, a worthless piece of trash?

Lu Chen explained to him patiently: "Because...you are smart and beautiful, you can cook, you are gentle and considerate, um, you have a good literary talent, you read a lot, you are gentle and polite, you don't have to think about others beforehand, it is very Kindness, well, personality is also very good..." Lu Chen was eloquent, as if he wanted to memorize all the compliments in Ci Hai.

Shen Yi looked at him quietly, and in his heart there was a traveler who walked in the primeval forest without seeing the sun all year round. Suddenly, the sky shone with sunlight, which fell through the dense branches and leaves, making the light not so scorching, and gentle enough to make people flustered.

It's like when he hid in the woods to enjoy the shade when he was a child, the fallen leaves protected his toes, the green leaves protected his skin, the wind was cool, the air was fragrant, the river was sparkling, and the singing of birds was the accompaniment.

Shen Yi felt that his heart was going to melt, and couldn't help but pull down his neck, and blocked his mouth.

Lu Chen sensed Shen Yi's true intentions and thought that the medicine had worked.

But in the days that followed, Shen Yi became even more indifferent, and his thinking became more chaotic, he refused to say a word, and locked himself in the room all day long.More and more, he made himself a prison, and he didn't want to go anywhere.

Lu Chen coaxed and dragged him for a long time before taking him to the hospital for a follow-up visit.

Director Wang He sent Lu Chen out the first time he saw him. As soon as Lu Chen closed the door, he directly asked Shen Yi: "Tell me, what are you hiding? Don't worry, I won't tell him."